Disclaimer: Don't own Hetalia, Modern Warfare 2, or Facebook, hence those last two having funky names. :D

A/N: Yaaay, dorky Facebook fics! -flails- This is totally based off how my big brother reacted when he saw my first FB relationship thingy-thing.

Let's see, two notes here:
1) I imagine that, if she were a girl, Canada would be more noticed. Just because girls are prone to be noticed by people much more than boys!
2) Accents! I've noticed that when people are angry, they shout whatever they want to. In Alfred's case, that's especially true; as such, he doesn't think about the non-accented pronunciations he's learned over time. So, basically? GOD I TRIED WRITING ALFRED'S SOUTHERN ACCENT. I FAILED SO FREAKING BADLY ; ;

Names: fem!Canada = Michelle 'Mickey' Williams (instead of Matthew/Mattie), fem!England = Alice Kirkland, fem!North Korea = Hwa-Jeong Im, Cuba = Estefan Rodriguez
Pairings: Pru/fem!Can, mentioned Fr/fem!UK, HunBel

Networking

Ahhhh, MyFace.

Alfred wasn't really obsessed with the site (not like Kiku was, anyway) but the American had to admit that it was real fun to stalk his sister's page - an act he justified by saying that he had to make sure no Commies were making passes at her. Because he was a hero and had to protect his cute little sister from the dangers of Communism and dictatorships and anything not patriotic!

Never mind that, technically, Michelle was Canadian.

For reasons Alfred couldn't fathom, Michelle (loving, sweet, innocent little Mickey!) had accepted friend requests from not only Ivan Braginski (Alfred could swallow that; Braginski was on his basketball team, and decent enough, Alfred guessed) but also from that Chinese guy, that Korean girl, and - worst of all - Rodriguez. Really?

Alfred shuddered at the thought of that damn Cuban corrupting his darling little Mickey.

(Yes, Michelle was oft embarrassed when her brother, handsome and popular and loved though he was, came bounding over to where she spent lunch with Hwa-Jeong and Ivan and Yao and the others, screaming about how he wouldn't let the devil - who, according to Alfred, ran a hell which was both totalitarian and Communist - take her soooooul.)

Playing Ancient Campaign 2 on multiplayer (Kiku sucked balls at first-person shooters, Alfred thought with a malicious grin), the American decided it was about time to check his MyFace. Even if there was nothing new on his wall (or any new pictures of Elizaveta and Nataliya...damn) there might be something on Mickey's!

With that thought in mind, he hit his profile page, scrolled down past his picture - one of him and Michelle, because he was totes the bestest big brother ever and only ever chose pictures of him and his baby sister! - and past the regrettably single relationship status to the sibling section. Mickey's name was first, and he clicked on it happily, slurping all the while at the over-caffeinated drink he held in one hand.

Awww, his baby sister was so key-uuuute! She'd also used a picture of her and Alfred (which was taken by Ivan, maybe? That was very probable, because while Mickey looked adorable as ever under all the hockey padding, Alfred was grimacing in pain from his umpteenth collapse onto the ice, and everyone knew how much the Russian liked to see Alfred in pain) as her profile picture.

Then, annoyed at the memory, Alfred started scrolling down.

A pale pink heart caught his eye, and he leaned in close to the computer screen, hardly believing what he was seeing.

Michelle is in a relationship with Gilbert Beillschmidt.

Alfred stared blankly at the screen. The cup he held was tilting dangerously close to his keyboard and slowly being crushed by the American's large hand; the loud chomping sound of Alfred eating his beloved potato chips had also come to an abrupt halt, and the room was silent for two very awkward minutes.

"MICKAAAAY!" he shrieked at the top of his lungs, the cup in his hand finally crunching and sending its sugary contents - a rather disgusting mix of red Kool-Aid, Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, and orange soda - everywhere as the blonde jumped to his feet, practically ripping the laptop off his desk and racing towards the stairs.

His sister shot up on the sofa in the den, or tried do; the weight of Kumajiro in her lap sort of destroyed that hope. "Al, what happened, eh?" she settled for calling, worried that her brother might have set his room on fire again or something. (He'd walked away while his computer overheated directly onto a pair of underwear he'd left on his table twice before, and the other ones were just stupid reasons that Michelle couldn't figure out at all. But it was Alfred, so she learned pretty quickly to stop questioning his weirdness.)

"WHAT IS THIS?" he all but sobbed out, and Michelle twisted to see him standing in the doorway, looking close to tears and holding onto his laptop like a lifeline.

"Eh?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT!"

"No, I can honestly say I don't, eh," said Michelle mildly, turning back to the television. "Can you please stop screaming so I can watch my soaps?"

"MICHELLLLLE!"

"Alfredddd," she said in a toneless mockery of her brother's cry.

"I refuse ta accept this," he said in an ominous tone that highlighted his Southern drawl and made the Canadian arch an eyebrow at him. "I shoulda known better! I spend awll my time shielding ya from Communism, and a damn Nazi slips through! I will nevah accept this - this - blasphemy! Cawll him - nah, just text him, and say that you don't wan' date him!"

Oh, that was what it was about! The Canadian scowled furiously and crossed her arms.

"Well, too bad for you, eh, because I'm not dumping Gil, and nothing you say will make me change my mind!"

"OH YEAH?"

"DON'T MAKE ME BUST YOUR HEAD WITH A HOCKEY STICK, EH!"

"What on earth is all this yelling for?" their mother asked, stepping in from the garage.

The siblings, who had indeed been screaming louder than those Italian sisters when faced with Alfred's lunch, glanced at the petite blonde supporting herself on the wall as she lifted a leg to take off her shoes. Alfred, ever the mama's boy, ran over to her practically wailing in anguish as he showed her what must have been Mickey's MyFace page.

The Canadian absently hoped that there was nothing vulgar posted on her wall.

Alice's lips moved silently as she read it, before she told Alfred to click on something. He did so, and the Englishwoman scrutinized what Michelle assumed to be a photo - ohhhh, thought Michelle with a slight smile. Alfred was probably trying to sow seeds of discontent in their mother: if Mama Kirkland didn't like something, she made it obvious.

Proving Michelle's theory correct, her mother arched a brow at her over the top of the computer. Alfred's face was sort of like the expression you'd see on a kid who woke up Christmas morning to find that Halloween and his birthday were both being celebrated as well. Alice opened her mouth and the haughty smirk on Alfred's face widened as she started to speak.

"See, I told you she'd get a cute boyfriend, I'll never pronounce his last name right, but -"

Alfred made a horrible choking sound.

"MOM! YOU HAVE FORSAKEN ME!"

A/N: -flails- Yaaay, crack!

Hope you enjoyed~!