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.A t y c h i p h o b i a.

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The irrational fear of failure.

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Edward Elric was not a quitter. He was not. He stood headstrong and as still as a rock, he took everything that came with in his path with stride. He was the one who stood up by himself when he had nothing to stand on and only one leg and arm to do it on. So Edward Elric did not pride himself in loosing.

The things he did pride himself in: his younger brother. That was the only thing he really felt pride in nowadays, not because he was the Fullmetal Alchemist, not because he had gotten in when he was twelve, not because he was a child genius. More because his little brother finally accomplished something that the younger had been working on for a good amount of time.

Sometimes, though, he always felt an irrational feeling, that when he looked up at Alphonse - when he was supposed to looking down - that he would never see that younger version of his face with his mother's green eyes and childish smile ever again. That was what scared him the most, never being able to get his brother's body back.

When he slept, his mind traveled to blood and large circles and elements; Water. Carbon. Oxygen. Hydrogen. Ammonia. Lime. Saltpeter. Salt. Phosphorus. Niter. Sulfur. Iron. Silicon. To bloody and bony and twisted messes, of bodies that were corrupted until they created monsters. His mother, reaching toward him, except it wasn't his mother. It wasn't...it couldn't...because then he killed his mother.

He hated that feeling, the feeling that everything he had done was gone in waste. It was his fault in the first place, yes, his own utter sheer stupidity that he thought that he could bring back the dead. But still...his own arrogance cost him twenty-five percent of his body. He felt so much like...a failure.

He didn't really deserve all that life had been giving him since then, that's what he felt. He should have been in hell right now, but his little brother needed him. That's why he came back - more that thrown back - and he also had a sneaking suspicion, that this 'God' or 'Truth' hadn't take a good liking to him. He knew that was a bad thing, that the obviously more powerful being would surely punish him by making the murky path to his future hard, painful, and very foggy. But it was still the path he was going to follow, because it was the only one he could follow.

Edward Elric sighed, and shut close his State Alchemist pocket watch. He looked up at the shining suit of armor beside him and gave a timid smile, one that was also encouraging with a hint of sadness.

"Come on, Al."

He turned around, facing the large plains of green and yellow, and started to walk on the set railroad tracks underneath his feet. He held his suitcase on his back with his hand on the handle, while the sun shone of his cornsilk hair.

"Alright, Brother."

Alphonse's voice vibrated through his bones, and his eyes hardened involuntarily. To Truth, this was all a game that he had entered willingly. Each of Alphonse's steps, every clank of armor reminded him that he was moving forward toward the end which didn't exist.

But he was not going to lose.

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