Title: Better When I'm With You

Fandom: Bleach

Rating: M, language, sex, violence.

Description: Ikkaku/Yumichika fic. Ikkaku has always loved Yumichika, but has stayed a friend until he sees that Yumichika really needs him."The worst thing you can do for love is deny it; so when you find that special someone, don't let anyone or anything to get in your way." Yaoi. M for language, sexual situations, violence.

Disclaimer: Bleach is created and owned by Tite Kubo, I merely pay homage to characters and a story I love.

A/N: Oh no, why am I starting another fic when I'm still working on a bunch of others? Sorry, sometimes I just can't control my inspiration. I'm basing this (a lot) on a true story, which is funny because that probably means it's going to be more dramatic than my others fics. People like the generally laid back approach that have I that in most of my fics, but surprisingly sometimes real life can be a little more intense. In all honesty, my fic "Orange" is a lot closer to my true perspective on Ikkaku and Yumichika's beginnings, but what's life without experimentation? Growth or stagnation my friends.

Ikkaku was surprised when it was Kenta that answered the door. "Try and cheer him up, he's being a depressing bitch today," Kenta said as he left, his large frame barely fitting through the doorway.

"Uh, bye," Ikkaku said.

Yumichika was at the stove, facing away from Ikkaku.

"Hey Yumichika, making me dinner?" Ikkaku joked.

Yumichika didn't answer for a minute then turned with a small smile. "Absolutely! What do you want?"

"Aren't you already making it?" Ikkaku looked at the pot that Yumichika had been stirring.

"It's just plain noodles right now," Yumichika said. "I have some pork and beef. I wasn't sure which to go with, or whether I should go spicy or mild."

"Is there going to be enough?"

"Yeah," Yumichika said. "Kenta didn't tell me he had to work tonight so I bought way more food than I can eat alone."

It was only about twenty minutes later and the two of them were sitting on the ground at a low table. Ikkaku was practically shoveling food down his throat.

"Do you just not eat when I don't feed you, or what?" Yumichika laughed at him.

"You know I even burn water," Ikkaku said between mouthfuls.

"Is that why you only drink sake instead of tea?" Yumichika grinned.

Ikkaku laughed. "You have no idea what my roommate was making when I left."

"What?"

"Tuna fish soup."

"Like tuna steak, or what?" Yumichika asked, confused.

"No, like shredded tuna fish from a can poured into water."

Yumichika shuddered.

"I was staring in horror when he began to add cut up pickles and pepperoncinis."

"Oh my god, why?" Yumichika asked.

"Probably just because we had it. That's how he cooks. Whatever is in the house and not bad, or at least not super bad, goes into a pot and somehow he thinks that's food," Ikkaku said. "He doesn't even need to eat anyways, so he must just be poisoning himself for the hell of it."

Yumichika heaped another spoonful of food into Ikkaku's bowl.

"Thanks!" Ikkaku grinned. He paused, looking at Yumichika closely. "Hey Yumichika, are you feeling ok?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

"It's just that…," Ikkaku had been noticing that for the last maybe six months or so Yumichika was definitely being un-Yumichika-like in a variety of ways. He didn't want to say that Yumichika looked sick, because that seemed mean. He almost used the word "dumpy" but then Yumichika would hit him. Instead he went with, "You're not looking as colorful as you used to."

"Oh well…I mean…" Yumichika hesitated. "I don't go out that much anymore anyways and Kenta think that I shouldn't really be dressing so flashy."

Ikkaku's immediate response, internally, was "well since when did you give a fuck about that?" but he bit his tongue. He tried a different approach out loud. "There's a street fair going on downtown. Let's go."

Yumichika frowned. "Oh yeah, because you and I have so much money to spend."

"Come on, you can at least get out of the house and have a little fun," Ikkaku insisted. "In fact, I'm absolutely sure we're going so you should go and get changed so we can get out of here while there's still light."

It had been a good idea after all. Yumichika enjoyed shopping even if he wasn't planning on buying anything, so visiting the craftsman and vendor tables got him in a good mood.

Ikkaku wandered off on his own a little, checking out some hand crafted knives before passing a man who was packing up his table. "What are those?" Ikkaku asked, pointing at the round objects that the man was putting away.

"Confetti eggs," the man said. "I was hoping more people would buy them."

"Confetti eggs?"

"You empty the egg out carefully and then packed confetti and glitter into the shell. You seal it up again, and it just looks like a normal eggs. It's for throwing at people," the man said.

"Oh yeah, how many you got?"

"Tell you what, these things start stinking if you don't use them quickly so I'll give you a deal if you buy them all."

Yumichika sensed something flying at him and turned with his arm up, blocking his face. He was shocked when an explosion of confetti and glitter engulfed his face. He sneezed.

"HA HA HA HA!" Ikkaku laughed.

"What the hell was that?" Yumichika asked, blinking.

Ikkaku didn't answer. He reached into the bag that he was carrying and picked up another egg, aiming for Yumichika. This time Yumichika dodged though, and the egg went past him, narrowly missing a man behind him and hitting the wall with a cracking sound.

Yumichika walked over to Ikkaku and peered into the bag.

"Confetti eggs," Ikkaku explained.

"HEY!" someone yelled. A tall wide man was yelling at them.

"What?" Yumichika asked.

After getting a better look at them the man said, "You little fags almost hit me!"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Yumichika said, palming an egg and with expert aim landed it directly into the man's impressive beard. "There you go. Ikkaku has terrible aim."

The man roared and Ikkaku and Yumichika darted off laughing. Ikkaku pelted a noble looking woman who was making her bodyguard carry a dozen bags. She shrieked satisfyingly. Yumichika gestured to Ikkaku and Ikkaku tossed him an egg. Yumichika managed to jump over a sleeping town security guard and get him with the egg from directly above. The man was so startled he fell backwards. Ikkaku was laughing insanely and Yumichika couldn't help but join in. A couple of street rats had joined them in their mad dash at this point, jumping on top of tables, bouncing off of the alley walls and sprinting across the roofs of nearby buildings.

"Hey, kid!" Ikkaku yelled to one of them, tossing him an egg.

"Over here!" Another kid called with her hands out.

"What are you, children?" Kenta said to the two men sitting in front of him. Ikkaku couldn't help it, he started to laugh. Yumichika tried to look serious, but was choking on his giggles.

"God, you're so funny trying to be all tough," Ikkaku snickered.

Yumichika didn't want to agree but he also couldn't help but break up a little at that.

"Yumichika," Kenta said with a frown. "I can't have you guys running around ruining my reputation like this. I'm part of the security for this town; I'm not supposed to be hauling my own boyfriend in for being a public nuisance!"

"Come on, it's not like it's that hard to keep this place safe. It's as boring as rocks and as safe as clay," Ikkaku pointed out.

"It's an important job!" Kenta said. He looked at Yumichika. "You know I want to become a shinigami. I can't have you doing this."

"You want to become a WHAT?" Ikkaku exclaimed.

"I don't see why you'd react that way. Yumichika said almost the same thing," Kenta replied.

"Kenta, shinigami are uptight, self-righteous assholes. That's why!" Yumichika said.

"Look, you guys aren't street thugs anymore, there's no reason to not respect authority. Especially mine," Kenta glared.

Yumichika sighed.

Uptight, self-righteous asshole describes Kenta exactly, Ikkaku thought as he walked home. I hope I didn't get Yumichika into too much trouble.

Three years ago

"Ikkaku, this is Yumichika Ayasegawa. Yumichika, this is Ikkaku Madarame," Yuto introduced them.

"Hi," Yumichika said with a smile.

God he's gorgeous, Ikkaku thought. Those purple eyes are amazing.

Ikkaku was still being distracted by Yumichika's perfectly formed lips when he heard Yuto talk again.

"Yumichika and I have been friends for years. His boyfriend ditched him today so I thought I'd invite him along," Yuto said, looking at Ikakku meaningfully.

Yeah, yeah, "boyfriend", got you, Ikkaku thought with a groan. "Ditched you?" he asked.

"Well, he just had to go in to work so I wound up having some free time," Yumichika said, running his fingers through his hair.

Hair…shiny…Ikkaku thought (barely thought, his mind wasn't fully functioning for some reason).

"You might know his boyfriend, Kenta. He's kind of hard to miss; about 7 feet tall with red hair," Yuto pointed out.

Fine, whatever, "big boyfriend", shut up already Yuto, Ikakku thought.

"Well, before we head out anywhere I need to pick up my wages from the store," Ikkaku said.

"Did he not pay you again?" Yuto asked. "Didn't he stiff you two weeks ago too?"

"Yeah, it'll be a whole month of pay. It's been a bitch waiting for it, but on the plus side, now it'll seem a lot bigger!"

"Yeah, let's see if you blow it all over a single weekend," Yuto laughed.

The three men walked into a dingy shop in the middle of town.

"What do you want?" the man behind the counter asked.

"What the hell Naoki? Don't be a dick. You know I'm here for my money," Ikkaku said.

"I'm sorry, but you don't have a job anymore."

"WHAT? You're firing me?"

"The store is closing. No one has a job anymore," Naoki said.

"Ok, that sucks for you but that doesn't mean you get to not pay me. I still fucking worked. Hell, I worked overtime and even came in early!" Ikkaku said with a raised voice.

"Well, you're not getting paid," Naoki responded, his eyes narrowing.

Out of the corner of his eye Ikkaku say Yumichika walking away. Great, he probably thinks I'm a freak with anger problems.

Yumichika stuck his head out the door and looked around. "There's no one nearby," he told Ikkaku.

Heh, I guess I thought wrong, Ikkaku thought with a grin. He turned towards Naoki. "Pay me," he said firmly.

Naoki was beginning to get nervous at this point, but he still really didn't want to part with any cash.

"Pay up, or something very bad is going to happen to you," Ikkaku threatened, his voice low and his intent very clear.

Naoki looked at the other two men for help. Yuto was staring at the wall with his arms folded over his chest and Yumichika was still keeping a look out the door.

"Fine," Naoki gave in.

"Sorry about that," Ikkaku said a little while later.

Yumichika just shrugged. "Damn it," he said, seeing someone in the distance. "It's Ayaka," he said with a sigh. Yuto was already gone, walking towards her.

"She's such a bitch, why are they still together?" Ikkaku asked.

"I don't know. She's only passably good-looking and her voice is like a screw going into your head," Yumichika said.

Ikkaku laughed at that, hard. "That is exactly what her voice is like," he said. "In fact, it's beginning to give me a headache from all the way over there."

"Let's go," Yumichika said, grabbing Ikkaku's arm lightly and leading him to another store.

"A furniture store?" Ikkaku asked. He hadn't been paying attention to where they were going at first because Yumichika hadn't let go of him the whole way and he had been close enough that Ikkaku had been happily smelling Yumichika's shampoo. Or was it cologne?

"It's indoors, it'll be cooler. Plus, there's lots of place to sit," Yumichika pointed out.

They set up camp on a comfortable futon, chatting about music, how unseasonably hot it had been, and sharing bitch stories about Yuto's girlfriend.

"I think I want to break up with my boyfriend," Yumichika said after awhile.

"Oh yeah?" Ikkaku asked, not entirely without self-interest.

"He's so clingy and needy. I feel like he's stifling me most of the time. The only times I can go out by myself is when he has to go to work. He doesn't like my friends, well, aside from Yuto…just a lot of things," Yumichika explained. "I used to think it was cute when he was following me around like a puppy dog, especially considering how big he is. He practically stalked me for months and begged me to date him. I guess I was just flattered, and he is definitely good looking. He's funny too," Yumichika sighed. "I think it's over though. I'm too independent to be cooped up and treated like a pet."

"Good for you," Ikkaku said with a grin. "You should do whatever makes you happy."

"Sirs?" an employee said, walking up to them.

"Yes?" Yumichika asked sweetly.

"Are you planning on buying anything?"

"No," Yumichika responded. "We're just waiting for a friend. It's way too hot outside in the sun."

Ikkaku had no idea what it was that Yumichika was doing; it certainly didn't look like he was doing anything at all but he had to have been doing something because that employee was starting to melt away.

"Um," the man said blankly.

"We're not planning on staying too long," Yumichika said with a smile.

"Oh, well that's fine then," the man said, walking away with a slight blush on his face.

"Gesh kid, you have magical powers," Ikkaku laughed after the employee was gone.

Yumichika simultaneously didn't like being called a kid and liked being thought of as younger, so he let the comment slide.

"Hey," Yuto said, entering the shop (alone, thankfully). He sat down on a chair across from them.

"So, who are you?" Ikkaku asked Yumichika.

"What?"

"I mean, you dress and look a certain way, but you act another," Ikkaku tried to explain.

"Ha ha," Yuto laughed. "You think I'd be friends with an uppity pansy? He's one of us."

"Oh yeah?" Ikkaku said. "A street rat?"

"Yeah," Yumichika answered.

They didn't really have any plans and just wandered around walking towards the part of town that had the most food, figuring they'd work out what they wanted once they got there.

"Hey, you," a security officer said, calling to Yumichika.

"What?" Yumichika asked in a voice as cold as ice.

"Come over here," the officer said. Yumichika complied, Ikkaku and Yuto following behind him at a distance.

"Do I know you?" the man asked.

"I highly doubt it," Yumichika replied.

"I think…that I'm going to have to take you in," the officer said, looking up and down at Yumichika. "I need to search you to make sure that you don't have any dangerous hidden weapons," he said with a wide grin.

"Oh, but I do," Yumichika answered.

"What?" the man was taken aback.

"I don't like being helpless, so I make sure that I'm armed at all times," Yumichika stated.

The officer was just now noticing the two men behind Yumichika. Yuto was stick thin but an easy 6'5". Ikkaku was shorter, but not by much, and obviously built, not to mention that he had a zanpakuto strapped to his hip.

"Well…I can see you're not doing anything harmful," the officer said. "I'll let you go this time."

"Why thank you, officer," Yumichika said sarcastically.

"Sometimes these small town dip shits are worse than shinigami," Ikkaku said as they walked away.

"No, I'm still pretty sure shinigami are the worst, because they know they can get away with it," Yumichika replied.

"Amen," Yuto said.

Somehow, it almost always wound up that they'd hang out together on the weekend. Yumichika was exactly the type of person that Ikkaku liked being with. He was a smart ass, had a minimum respect for the law, loved to bet, and would take on almost any dare (as long as it wasn't too "gross or unbecoming"). He was also a genius at coming up with stupid games to pass the time, which was a major bonus considering they were both dead broke almost all the time. He taught Ikkaku how to stack a deck, although he claimed that he never actually cheated at cards and just liked doing magic tricks. Ikkaku didn't believe him, Yumichika had way too good of a winning streak when they'd go out gambling (assuming that they had two cents to rub together). Luckily, Yumichika's boyfriend Kenta seemed to like Ikkaku, so even when Kenta was being overbearing with all of Yumichika's other friends, he was happy to have Ikkaku over.

"Maybe he just doesn't like chicks," Ikkaku shrugged.

"He doesn't have to like them, they're my friends," Yumichika complained.

"So…you guys doing ok?" Ikkaku asked.

"I tried to breakup with him," Yumichika said. "He just cried and cried though. It was so pathetic. I mean, he just wouldn't stop. I was actually getting kind of pissed off at him, but then for some reason I felt guilty. I know I'm just being a sap, but what does another couple of weeks mean at this point?"

Current Time

How the hell did it go from that to how things are now? Ikkaku thought as he walked home. It's been three years…and I still can't get over him. I'm doing it to myself by being his friend, but I can't be away from him. I haven't even looked at another man or woman since I've meet him. He's everything I ever wanted, and he's the best friend I've ever had. Besides, he has hardly anyone right now. Everyone else is gone. Even Yuto doesn't see him that much anymore. It's just Yumichika stuck in that shitty place working at a shitty job and having to go home to Kenta every day.

But…he does love him, right? That makes it ok. If Yumichika is happy, that's really all that matters. Except that he's not acting very happy. I don't know what the hell Kenta is doing to him, but it's sucking the life out of him. Then again, maybe it's not Kenta's fault. Yumichika has been really sick lately with all of these headaches. He looks like he needs to sleep more too.

When Ikkaku got home he thought about the night. It had been pretty fun, at least until the end when Mr. Self-Important Killjoy got all mad at them. A shinigami? Please.

Instead, Ikkaku imagined the night ending a lot differently.

He and Yumichika ran through the streets, dodging their pursuers. They waved to the street kids as they split up, hiding in a small alleyway. Yumichika leaned against the wall, panting, his face slightly flushed and a smile on his face.

"Have fun?" Ikkaku asked.

Yumichika just laughed in response.

He's so beautiful, especially when he's happy like this, Ikkaku thought. He ran his hand along Yumichika's jaw. Yumichika looked up at him, still smiling. He moved forward and kissed Yumichika, his entire body pressed up again him, pushing him into the alley wall. He pulled away.

"Ikkaku," Yumichika breathed, wrapping his arms around his back, bringing him in for another kiss.

Damn it, Ikkaku thought. I need to stop doing this to myself.

He put his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling, trying to absolutely not think about how turned on he was.

I'm just going to go out drinking, he decided.

At the bar, the bartender gave him a look as he downed more and more sake.

"Women problems?" the bartender guessed.

Ikkaku looked over at him. Better to play it safe, he thought. There are too many anti-gay people in this damn town. "Yeah," he said. "I love my best friend."

"Any reason you're not with her?"

"She's been with the same man the entire time I've known her, so it's not like I've had a chance or anything."

"Well, there's no real reason to wait, right? I mean if you're right for each other, shouldn't you go for it?" the bartender offered.

"I'm not like that," Ikkaku admitted. "I mean, what the hell do I know, maybe she's happy. Besides, my father was a cheating bastard and I kind of promised myself that there were things I was never going to do in my life. Stealing someone's girl is one of those things." Abandoning my child and getting murdered in my own bed would be two others, Ikkaku thought.

"Well, if you can't have her, it might be time to move forward."

"Forward…I don't think I could…" Ikkaku thought.

The bartender shrugged. "Might as well have a little fun though, right?"

It was only a couple of days later and Kenta, Yumichika, and Ikkaku were sitting down in a restaurant.

"I gotta go now," Kenta said, standing up abruptly.

"What?" Yumichika asked, shocked.

"Work."

"If it was work then you knew you'd have to go," Yumichika accused.

"I did," Kenta responded. "See you later."

"Why the hell would he come and not even order, just to leave?" Ikkaku asked. People in the Soul Society didn't usually need to eat, so going out was a social occasion and fairly rare. It was a little different for the three of them, since they all had high enough spiritual pressure that they needed to eat, but it was still incredibly rude.

"He's probably trying to punish me again," Yumichika sighed.

Ikkaku cocked an eyebrow. "For what?"

"Who knows? I don't even try to figure it out anymore," Yumichika said.

"Hello, are you ready to order?" the waitress said.

"Do you have any specials today?" Ikkaku asked.

As they continued to talk, Yumichika began to glare at the woman, she was tossing her hair and laughing entirely too much for his taste. Ikkaku wasn't unaware that she was flirting with him, and he was enjoying it. It had been a long time since he'd dated anyone; maybe the bartender the other night had been right. Not that this chick was really his type, she was entirely too girly and had an annoyingly high pitched giggle. Still…

Later that evening, Yumichika and Ikkaku walked slowly through town, looking at random stalls and shops, wasting time. Ikkaku paused in front of the flower shop. He picked up a red rose. Hm, maybe I should…Yumichika plucked it out of his hands and put it back. Ikkaku looked up at him. "She's is absolutely not your type. She'd drive you crazy in an hour." God I'm being bitchy, Yumichika thought to himself. If Ikkaku wants to have a fling with some ditzy blond waitress, why should I care? Except that he did. A lot.

Ikkaku wasn't thinking anything, because Yumichika had put his hands on his chest when he was talking to him and hadn't moved them yet. His heart always started to race and his brain cut out whenever Yumichika casually touched him like that. He looked down at Yumichika's hands. Yumichika instantly jerked them back.

"Wait a minute," Ikkaku said sternly. "Let me see your hands."

"What?" Yumichika backed away slightly.

Ikkaku reached forward and grasped Yumichika hands, pulling them up. As the long sleeves of Yumichika's kimono fell back they revealed a pair of startlingly purple bruises on his wrists.

Ikkaku's face darkened. "How did this happen?"

"You know I bruise easily," Yumichika said lightly.

"Bullshit," Ikkaku said. Hell, he and Yumichika would freaking spar together, he knew how tough he was. "Assuming I even believed that, it doesn't answer my question."

"Kenta just grabbed them a little hard is all," Yumichika said. Inside he was fuming, not at Ikkaku, or even at Kenta, but at himself.

Kenta grabbed Yumichika's two slender wrists with one massive hand, and pulled him up sharply.

"Ouch! What the fuck, Kenta!" Yumichika said. "Let me go, I'm leaving!"

Kenta just lifted higher, pulling Yumichika off of his feet, dangling him in the air. It was a helpless feeling that Yumichika didn't like. He considered trying to kick Kenta, but figured that would just make things worse. "Put me down," he said, feeling the strain in his wrists.

"Promise me you're going to stay. We're going to talk," Kenta said.

"We've talked enough, now fucking…" Yumichika winced at the pressure. "Fine, whatever."

Of course, Kenta's version of talking just involved him mauling Yumichika. Why do I even let him touch me? Yumichika thought to himself, feeling Kenta's kisses on his neck.

I'm not going to let Ikkaku know how weak I am. I don't know what the hell I'm doing…I'm just too damn tired all the time. How the hell did this happen? Why don't I stop it? Is there even any point to stopping it? The man is like a damn stone, nothing gets into his head. He's relentless; he won't ever let me alone. He's told me that, and I know it's true. I don't want Ikkaku to know…he can't know. Yumichika put on a wan smile to assure Ikkaku that everything was fine.

Ikkaku watched Yumichika but didn't say anything. I'm going to fucking kill that guy next time I see him, Ikkaku thought. He knew it was an irrational thought, but it still comforted him.