Chapter One: Renaissance, a step towards the future

Life is set in a repetitive motion

Like the sand in the hour glass seeps past the tiny opening

The beginning is the end

And the end is the beginning

Such is the journey of life.

-BEAUTIFUL DISASTER-

Standing still on the bow of her balcony, her hands tightly grasping the railing, Cagalli brushed aside the long honey-colored hair that was getting in her way. Her lips curved slightly upwards, producing a grim, yet flawless smile.

Because I'm the Princess of Orb, I will have to do anything I can for my nation. That is my role in society.

She shivered slightly at the chilly wind. Tears were filling in her eyes but she fought to keep them from falling.

Just as her body began to turn numb, a soft material was draped over her shoulders. Looking around to see who it was, she found it was Miriallia sporting a worried face. "Princess, you should go inside. We're leaving for PLANT in a few hours—"

"It's Cagalli now, Mir. Our roles don't matter anymore." Cagalli said.

"You will always be my princess no matter what happens." Miriallia replied casually with a small smile, while following her mistress back into her room.

"Miriallia, we've been best friends ever since I was born. You followed me and became my lady-in-waiting when you could've been free. You're like my sister. You shouldn't have to suffer with me. Who knows what they're going to do to us once we get there. I'm not even sure if I'm going to be treated well… even if I am going to be the wife of a coordinator." She sighed.

"I will always be by your side, Princess—" Cagalli shot her a look that caused the young girl to stop. "Cagalli," Miriallia mumbled weakly. She then turned around and waltzed out the door muttering to herself about having to pack on such short notice.

Cagalli shook her head and smiled sadly at the innocent remark of the disappearing girl. "One day, I'm going to make sure you find a person that will truly love you. I want you to marry someone who you will love… unlike me."

A tear escaped her eyes as the earlier scenario replayed in her mind.

"So… I would be… that tool that will be used to defeat all of your enemies?" Her eyes frowned at the man in front of her.

'He can't be doing this to me… He won't… I'm simply imagining this… it's all a dream… Because… Father loves me!' Her mind sounded as though it was trying to convince herself into believing it.

A hand gripped her shoulders, "Cagalli, you have to understand. If I had a choice, I would never do this, but …Our nation... They need us."

"Because of that, you're just going to throw me away? Trade me for the peace of our nation? Trade me away as if I'm a… an item?"

"…Cag—"

"Never mind, Father. I'll marry that coordinator, whoever he is. I will marry the coordinator that you've always taught me to hate. For your convenience, and for Orb's peace, I will suffer. But… you told me that once everything has settled down, you will attack PLANT. What will be of me then?"

"You're going have to escape first. We'll arrange that later. But once everything runs smoothly, PLANT will—"

"What happens if I won't be able to escape? What happens if they catch me? What will happen then? What if I end up wanting to stay there? Even then, will you still accept me, Cagalli, the wife of a coordinator as your daughter?" her question made the man in front of her hesitate.

After a long silence, Uzumi Nara replied with certainty in his voice, "Your marriage is only part of our plan to ensure PLANT's downfall. When you come back, you will still be Cagalli Yula Athha, and you always will be. It was only inevitable that my daughter would hate coordinators like any one of us does."

She stared at him, speechless. "So… you would only accept Cagalli Yula Athha, daughter of Uzumi Nara Athha who hates all coordinators, but not the real Cagalli, right? You want your daughter to be Cagalli Yula Athha, rather than Cagalli Hibiki… " she trailed off.

Silence…

"Excuse me, but I'll best be packing now." she finished hastily as she slammed the door behind her.

Cagalli knew that she had always been a pawn of her father's, nothing but a puppet. She had no goals in life and she didn't know what she wanted. Hell, she didn't even know what she liked or disliked. She hated herself for being the Cagalli who knew nothing about her own self.

"Prin —Cagalli, do you want to visit the town for the last time?" Miriallia popped her head in from the doorway, a cheerful smile played upon her lips. "Mana said she'd take care of everything for us."

"I think I will take you up on that offer. After all, it's not like Father lets me out whenever I want to." Cagalli tried to muster a smile but failed miserably.

-BEAUTIFUL DISASTER-

They had arrived at a part of Orb Cagalli was sure she had never seen before.

It was one of the more prosperous and well-known areas but it was also a place she had no right to be in. Although she was daughter of Uzumi Nara, she was born and raised in a place where not many people knew of or lived in. It was a place for people who were deprived of luxury, who fought for the necessities, even though everyone lived in harmony and enjoyed life.

Cagalli knew of the whispers that went on behind her back when she had been announced as Princess of Orb. There were contemptuous glances that were cast upon her, for they thought she was nothing but an orphan child who was lucky enough to be picked up by a man from a noble family. Their thoughts were never voiced, for they feared the consequences, but she knew they would never allow her to forget her real status in Orb.

"Isn't there anything you wanted, Princess?" Miriallia asked as she walked along-side her.

Cagalli knew there wasn't anything she wanted in particular. All she really intended to do was getting some fresh air and see her own nation for the very last time and moved on, pretending as if she had never existed in Orb in the first place. She hadn't planned on making any stops or talking to anyone, but she couldn't help but to help pick up the oranges that fell from an old woman's bag.

"Thank you, Miss…" the old woman smiled respectfully. She was a woman with high spirits, which was different from most elderly women now-a-days. Though she was old, the woman had an air of elegance and grace around her. The creases of wisdom on her forehead showed that she was a woman who had gone through a great deal, and that she had lived a life filled with joy and happiness along with angriness and loneliness.

"I'm Cagalli Yula…" At the sound of her surname, the woman's eyes twinkled. "Meguru Chikaiko at your service, Miss Athha." and she began to bow in respect.

Cagalli flushed at the remark and was slightly taken back at the sincerity in the old woman's voice. When the people ever addressed her, there was no honesty in their voice. "You can just call me Cag—"

"Nonesense!" the woman insisted. "A commoner like myself has no right to be calling someone like Miss Athha by her given name."

She couldn't think of anything to say, and Miriallia sensing that, jumped in for her. "Cagalli thinks that status should not matter. It's only the true genuineness of which one person has for the other is important."

The woman continued to laugh as she nodded. "Yes… You are quite right. But she is Cagalli Yula Athha after all. Either way, thank you for helping me pick up the oranges. An elderly woman like me has been advised not to carry so many things from grocery shopping, but obviously I haven't listened. Now look at the consequences! I think it is time for me to leave these things to my daughter-in-law. But, I can't help but see that her birthday is coming up soon, so I went to pick up a bouquet of flowers and stopped by the market on the way."

"I see…" Cagalli looked at the bouquet filled with a variety of types of flowers.

"Every single flower has its own history and meaning, Miss Atha. You should not look down on them because their language has powerful meanings. Such as a red rose… which symbolizes one's love for another. A primrose is to say that you can't live without that person while a daffodil represents chivalry or unrequited love.

Would you like to have one, Miss Athha?" the woman asked. "You may choose one."

Hesitantly, her hand reached up to accept, but she then pulled back.

"It's okay to take one, Cagalli." Miriallia said.

"I don't know which one to get though…" Cagalli mumbled softly.

The woman smiled and picked out a little stalk with white tiny delicate bells hanging from the stem. "This is one of my favorites. It is called Lily of a Valley. I think it is something that Miss Athha would like.

"This flower means that you will find happiness in your life… but… it is also to thank the person for making your life complete. Such a beautiful meaning, isn't it?"

Cagalli smiled softly and nodded. Her hand reached to take the stalk of the flower. It was a beautiful gift… well, to her, anyway.

The woman then looked straight into her eyes. The twinkling suddenly disappeared from her eyes, and then was replaced with sadness. "Please Miss Athha, I know it's impolite to be saying this, but throughout all the years I've been living, I've met many people. Despite how people's words can lie, their eyes will always tell the truth. Miss Athha, your eyes hold so many meanings. I've never seen such eyes that hold so much loneliness and sorrow. You, Miss Athha, are a wonderful woman with many high and great ambitions. You should not be holding so much grief in you."

She fumbled for words, but had nothing to say. In return, Miriallia thanked the woman.
"Thank you, Mrs. Chikaiko. I know that Cagalli would want to say that, although she is lost for words."

"Not a problem, Miss…"

"I'm Miriallia."

"Miss Miriallia, both you and Miss Atha are wonderful. I hope that you two will one day find true happiness. Like what the flower I gave you meant. I must be going now. Talking to you today has been a great pleasure."

"Thank you. The pleasure is mine," Cagalli replied at the woman who was now walking away.

"It's time to go back, Cagalli." Miriallia looked at the young princess and her eyes widened, "Cagalli, you seem happy…"

"…I am."

Looking up at the deep blue blanket that stretched over the vast sky, Cagalli held the stalk of the delicate white bells close to her heart, lost in her thoughts.

Yes, she wanted to change. She wanted to have a purpose in life and be happy for what she did. She wanted them to acknowledge for who she really was and what she could really do. If only she could change. If only she could a make a difference in this world… for naturals and coordinators to accept each other.

Cagalli suddenly knew what she wanted to do, and she promised herself that she would accomplish it.

The first step was starting with herself… and her future as the wife of a coordinator.

A/N: Miss me anyone?

+KinRi Tram~

First Publication: 09.02.07
First Revision: 10.16.08
Second Publication: 09.18.10