Coldness, numb. I was numb to the world.

People I once called friends would look upon me now and wonder what had happened. They'd say she wasn't like that once, once she was wonderful, nice, without an evil thought but now... they would trail off without knowing what else to say, looking at each other, each lost in their own thoughts, each asking themselves, could I have prevented this?

Chas. I craved chaos. I needed it as much as I need air to breathe and food to live. I needed it to fill the core of my being, to bring alive flickering feelings, fleeting and insignificant. But something to show I was alive. Adrenaline would pulse through my veins, making me feel alive in the thrill of the chase. My victims running from me, sensing the power I possessed, sensing the danger. I was never one to play with my food, my parents had made sure of that. Alas the corruption that comes from new friends, the bad influences, and there wasn't an influence worst than Bellatrix Lestrange… well aside from the dark lord himself that is.

"crucio" I didn't even recognize my voice, so cold and inhuman it had become. I wanted the muggle to scream, I wanted them in pain, I needed them to be under my control, I needed the rush. I hungered for it.

The heat of the burning cottages licked my flesh, the sounds around me dulled and the attack became insignificant, background noise as chills ran up my spine. The hair on my neck stood and for a moment I was met with the rapture of a noise so pure, so intense, so otherworldly. The one true noise of the universe. How magnificent, how the sound of totality could be created by straining muscles, contracting and vibrating in pain. It was in these moments that coldness within was erased, dissipated with a single sound, a scream.

And as soon as it had come it was gone. My reverie was broken, and the emptiness was back. I scowled at the muggle who so pitifully passed out, disgusted at his obviously low pain tolerance, and ended his life.

The battles life roared around me like a wild fire, once again I was a part of it, once again I was felt the beginning of adrenaline streaking through my veins. Maniacal peals of laughter was coming from somewhere nearby and I turned to find the source, knowing only one person who it could belong to.

Myself and Bellatrix weren't friends in the normal sense of the word. In fact we rarely talked and only saw each other about our mutual interest in pain. I think she saw me as a sort of student, as someone who she could share her sadistic side with, it elevated her up to a higher status, boosted her ego. And who was I to bring someone down?

We were collaborators, we shared ideas and methods. We shared a mutual respect for each other, that manifested itself through a helping hand here and there.

She had let her guard down for a second too long as she reveled in the joys of upheaval and I saw someone raise their wand to hex her. This is where our strange relationship came into play. A silver jet flew out of my wand hitting the person in the chest as they fell to their knees in pain. The cries were male, and he wore robes that were blue, so he obviously wasn't an auror. Which meant that there was a wizard who lived in a muggle village and dressed in robes (not likely), or the order was here. Bella must have heard his whimpering because she turned on the spot, eyes wild, a look of delight crossing her face.

"my, my Marty, what a catch you have there" Her muggle moaned as it tried to crawl away, a flash of green was the last thing it had seen before death.

She tilted her way this way and that as she danced towards the Order member, I broke the curse to let her get a closer look. What had I caught?

Dirtied finger nails grabbed the man's face as her boot crushed his hand, desperately reaching for his wand, he was defenseless. His eyes darted around, and I could see the whites of them, he was cornered and he knew it.

Finally hazel eyes rested on me. "Martina! Help me" he pleaded as Bella's cackles raised in the air. "Help me Marty help me!" she mimicked him before throwing him to the ground.

My cousin, we had caught my cousin. This revelation should of caused some reaction for me, I wish it did, if only to feel something other than the chill. I looked at him, my head tilted, he had changed since I had last seen him. Gotten a little taller, filled out a bit more since he graduated, and it looked as if he attempted to do his hair that day. The gold wedding band on his left hand glinted in the firelight, yes James Potter had changed in little ways.

"Don't let your guard down Bella" The words hissed out of my mouth "His friends should be near by, they always fought together, you remember" I grabbed his wand off the ground, my eyes scanning our surroundings. we were a little out of the way, unnoticeable unless one was looking enough. the main battle raged on in the main streets of the village. Satisfied, I turned to face him, hazel eyes meeting for the first time in years.

"Bella, do keep watch, and if you're going to draw attention to yourself, can you please do it somewhere else? I want privacy" My voice was soft, I was thinking. She nodded gleefully "What are you going to do" Her eyes were wide, she was like a little kid being offered candy.

"Hello there James" I watched as he struggled to get to his feet, "Now now cousin, I much like you in that position, stay" His legs ceased moving and he collapsed to the ground again.

Pitiful, really, his display was, his Gryffindor bravery was flaring.

"What are you going to do Marty? Attack an unarmed man?"

I paused in thought for a moment, "Yes, I think that is exactly what i'm going to do, Crucio" I wanted his pain, I wanted to see if I felt anything in watching him.

No, nothing.

He twitched in pain but no sound emitted from his mouth. Shame really, I lifted the spell and continued my pacing, listening to his sputtering.

"What happened to you Marty?" he cough out, I shrugged. I stopped caring. His head jerked to the side with the momentum with the force of my well aimed kick to his jaw, this thankfully elicited a moan.

"Hear you got married James, good for you, shame I didn't get an invite though… guess family isn't that important to you after all is it?" He stared defiantly at me "You stopped being family when you took the mark" he spat. Again I shrugged, I was getting bored, he was too stubborn to give me what i needed.

"Indeed" I drawled, I was growing restless "Well, this has been a nice family reunion, Bellatrix you can have him if you-"

Red lights flew at us from the the main street, I sent a spell at Bella knocking her out of the way of it (thats twice in one night i've saved her) and dodged. One of the lights hit james square in the chest, stunning him.

"its over, lets go" Bella hissed as she grabbed a fistful of my robes pulling me away from the scene, I jerked out of her grasp milliseconds before she disapparated

"Morsmorde!" I screamed, my wand pointed to the sky, and turned on the spot, staring at the shocked faces of my cousins school day friends.

At least the night wasn't a total loss, I did have that muggle I suppose.

OOooOOoo

My name was Martina Sinclair, but my friends called me Marty. I wasn't always cold, in fact I used to have good friends. In fact I think that if it wasn't for the Black family I might've been normal my whole life.