Road Trip

Why does she have to come?

The wind blew on wild cornflower hair as the car passed another truck. The radio station played old classic rock music over the din of the rolled down window. The music was soothing along with the crisp breeze but it didn't help calm down his distress. Arnold sighed again from his front passenger seat, when he felt someone behind him kick the back of his seat, again. His nerves and patience were wearing thin. He laid his head on his arm and let the wind rip even wilder currents through his hair as he looked at his troubled reflection in the side-view mirror. Arnold chewed on his mint flavored gum and wished that his "fun vacation" hadn't turned out like this.

He felt a nudge from his best friend Gerald, who gave him a look that spoke many volumes. Nodding and looking back out onto the road, Gerald knew Arnold didn't like the idea of bringing Helga along for the ride. Oh sure he tolerated her back when they were younger but now they were older and she still played those stupid mind games with him. She still bullied Arnold, shoved him, and called him the same tired old names. Helga G. Pataki was the last person he wanted to spend his vacation with, but of course he had no choice. Ever since Gerald and Phoebe had been dating, their happiness had become so intertwined. It seemed that Gerald was happy only if Phoebe was happy. Arnold loved Phoebe like a sister but he didn't like the fact that Phoebe decided to bring none other than his arch-nemesis on this two-week-long road trip.

The girl had been nothing but rude to both Gerald and Arnold, shoving them both as she went into the back seat. She even dictated the music they would listen to, and made some rude remarks about the trip itself. Gerald just tolerated it even though Arnold knew his friend would be the first to kick Pataki out if Phoebe acquiesced. Arnold had tried to reason with the pigtailed blonde. Reason threatened to turn into argument, and now they all were in the car trying not to say anything to offend anyone.

In the back seat, Phoebe giggled loudly, then showed Helga a magazine article which had caused her to laugh and make comments about girls who like Justin Beiber.

Gerald kept driving while listening to music. It took so much effort for Arnold not to lose it every time he felt her kick his chair, that he had no time to concentrate on any thoughts of his own, let alone relax and enjoy the countryside as it sped by.

Arnold watched through the side view mirror as Helga put on her pink iWood headphones, then bobbed her head up and down in time with the loud metal music that even he could hear over the radio, the engine, and the wind. He sighed inwardly. At least Helga was occupied for a while, aside from her kicking his seat, which was getting to be annoying. It was like being on a road trip with a child. All he needed was for her to ask "are we there yet" and the illusion would be complete.

Kick…

Kick…

Nothing.

Kick?

It almost reminded him of the days she threw spitballs at him. Not that she did that anymore; no one but immature boys did that in high school.

In the back seat, Helga smirked deviously, removed her headphones, and leaned towards Phoebe. "Hey Phoebs."

"Hmm?" Phoebe looked up from her magazine.

"I'm going in for the kill."

Phoebe sighed and whispered. "Helga, I don't think you should-"

KICK!

That kick was enough to make Arnold lose all wits. He turned and stared coldly at Helga. "Stop kicking my seat!"

Helga glared back while removing her ear buds and then crossing her arms. "Do you mind, Football Head? I'm trying to listen to my music here! And who said you could talk to me?"

"Okay don't make me turn this car around you two because I will" Gerald said feeling more like the father with two kids…or just one bratty one in the back. He tried to laugh a few times but trailed off as he realized no one else was laughing.

Arnold immediately sat back down in his seat and faced forward in annoyance and crossed arms. In the back seat, an annoyed groan escaped Helga's lips and she looked back at her MP3 player.

Damn it, I did it again. Why can't I just be nice? He let me come along on this trip, and here I am treating him like I always do, like dirt. ...But I have to, I have a reputation to uphold and I can't let him think I'm enjoying myself. Gah, I'm a basketcase.

She turned the music up and stared at the floorboard, trying to hide her dejected face.

Gerald, ever the studious driver, took his eyes off the road for a second to look at the fuel gauge, and then smiled as he resumed his watch over the road ahead. "You girls keep tight, we're comin' to a pit stop soon. We'll have to get some gas."

H A H A H A H A H A

"Finally!" Arnold muttered to himself as Gerald parked the car beside an unoccupied gas pump. Gerald immediately began attending to the car's fuel situation, while Arnold slowly opened the passenger door, got out of his seat, and slowly stretched his aching back.

He trudged into the gas station hoping to get some kind of snack or drink. He fully intended to ignore Helga's demands that he better buy her something or else. After all, he wasn't her keeper. He was anything but.

I am not going to be her throw doll. I am not going to be her throw doll. I am not going to be her throw doll. He repeated inwardly over and over again as he entered the generously air conditioned gas station.

He grabbed some pumpkin seeds, a bag of chips and a bottle of yahoo soda for himself. Then his eyes set in on the piece de resistance, a fully stocked ice cream freezer! Smiling, Arnold walked to the happy looking freezer cabinet and grabbed a drumstick.

Arnold walked triumphantly towards the clerk to pay for his stuff. After giving the clerk the money, he put his pumpkin seeds in his jean pocket. He grabbed the soda and his chips in his free hand while making sure he was holding them a bit tightly with the ice cream in his other hand.

Smiling like a kid in a candy store, Arnold pushed his back against the exit and then turned around too step out into the fresh country air.

"Yoink!"

Arnold barely had time to react as a hand shot out from nowhere and grabbed the drumstick from his hand. "Hey!" He cried in protest. He felt another crack form to his normally calm exterior he always projected out through the years as he looked to his side to see Helga standing beside him, grinning from ear to ear with his drumstick in one hand, peeling back the wrapper in another.

"Got your ice cream!" Helga taunted, licking it. "You want it back?" She licked it again. "Oh, too late. It's got my germs on it. Next time you might want to be on guard. Just a word of advice, Arnoldo. You can thank me later."

Helga then walked off towards the parked car, all the while laughing while holding her stomach with her free hand, while eating the ice cream with her other. Arnold's eyes narrowed at her form as he imagined making her ears bleed.

How old is she? She acts like we're still in 4th grade. He sighed and looked up towards the heavens, hoping for strength. I only have two full weeks of this…

He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry man," Gerald stood beside him as they watched Helga walk away. "I know you didn't want her to come with us"

Arnold shrugged, not wanting to say much about the sore topic but Gerald knew how he was feeling. "You're a great friend for agreeing to this. I mean you know I love Phoebe and well Helga has been friends with her as long as you and me."

"You and I." Arnold corrected, then turned towards Gerald.

Gerald rolled his eyes and shook his head "Arnold, we're not in school anymore"

A mischievous gleam appeared in Arnold eyes, but Gerald noticed he was also involuntarily looking around like a paranoid squirrel. "Just because we're not in school doesn't mean you shouldn't learn how to speak well" he joked,

"Dude-what are you doing?" Gerald asked, watching his best friends movements.

"Watching out for food snatchers"

"Arnold-your paranoid man"

Before both could do anything, a blur of pink and blonde flashed past them and they heard that same blur yell "Zoink!"

In a flash Arnold's chips had disappeared from his hand. The blond simply huffed and looked back up at Gerald. "You were saying?"

Gerald gave him a pat on the shoulder. "You know you're the greatest friend in the world for doing this for me, I love you man, no homo." He said, and then walked into the store.

H A H A H A H A H A

"Move over, Geraldo. My turn to drive."

"No Helga, you and Phoebe sit in the back."

"Nuh-uh. Switching drivers after every stop helps to make the trip easier and faster. Can't have you dozing at the wheel 'cause you're too tired. Now I won't ask you again. MOVE!"

"Helga do you even have a drivers license?" The blond boy felt his hair rise the longer he was next to her.

"Doi." Helga reached into her purse and produced her wallet, showing her license. In her picture she had her arms crossed with a scowl "I'm not stupid, Football Head. I wouldn't drive if I didn't have at least a learner's permit."

She then shoved the wallet back into her purse, turned the key, put the car in gear, and then started to drive.

"She got it three months ago." Phoebe clarified, quietly.

There was a pause, and then both boys quickly put on their seat belts, Gerald clasped his hands together as if praying.

"Hey God it's me Gerald"

"And Arnold."

"We need your help. Give us the deadly mist."

"And we-...wait, what?"

"So we can sacrifice her to the big monsters from another world!"

"...Gerald, did you watch The Mist again?"

"Maybe." Gerald said, laughing. His smile faded when he turned towards a very angry Helga G Pataki who was glaring at him through the driver's mirror.

"Care to make any more hilarious Stephen King references involving a gruesome bloody death toward me? Because really; I'd love to hear them." Helga held on to the wheel with one hand while she shook her in a fist. "Go on, Geraldo, each one you make gets you a broken tooth."

Gerald sighed, lowering his tone to a whisper. "Oh sure, she can say that kinda stuff to us but we can't do it back?"

"Double standards are a foreign language to her, Gerald." Phoebe whispered in her boyfriend's ear.

"Hey! Shut it back there!"

"Yes mother." Gerald mocked with a high pitch voice while Phoebe tried to stifle a giggle.

Arnold crossed his arms and sighed while he turned his attention to the scene outside the window. "This is going to be a long trip." He whispered, but loud enough that Helga caught what he was saying. She kept her eyes on the road, but inwardly she was already berating herself.

Great, just great, give him more reasons to want to throw you out of the car. No, no, I have to stand my ground, stick to my guns. ...Damn it, who am I kidding, I'm just a weak little girl hiding behind being so tough. No, no, I'm a strong, lean, mean, fighting machine. Being nice is for pansies. I'm a Pataki, I'm not Lila or Ooooolllga.

Her cerulean orbs had seen Arnold reaching towards the radio. Without a word, she gently slapped his hand.

"Hey!"

"Hay is for horses. I'm driving. I pick the tunes. You sit back and enjoy the ride. Chucklehead."

"But Helga you have an IWood player, you can listen to all the music you want, at least let me listen to some other genre for a while."

"Are you an idiot? Driving while listening to a music player is dangerous! So forget it." She turned up the radio really loud so that she wouldn't hear him any further, effectively ending their argument.

Covering his ears and looking through the rear-view mirror, he saw Gerald's head turned towards Phoebe's while she was against the seat. Her Arms were wrapped around Gerald's body. Arnold diverted his attention from the make-out session going on behind him, and crossed his arms, sighing again as he asked himself. Why me?

H A H A H A H A H A H A

It was getting very dark outside, and after another pit stop, Arnold was now driving, with Helga up front in the passenger seat. Gerald and Phoebe were still in the back, but were simply cuddling and conspiring with each other quietly.

Arnold took a moment to finally let his nerves calm. The ride was quiet now, aside from the low volume of the radio, which he thankfully had full reign of since Helga had opted to retreat to the music files on her iWood.

The quiet drive had the intended effect. All he had to do was keep the car between the lines, and everything would fall into place. Finally something was going his way.

That was, until Helga took the map off of the dashboard, unfolded it, and then let her eyes widen in realization.

"Arnold! You were supposed to turn off at the last exit!" She suddenly yelled in surprise.

Her exclamation broke Arnold out of his trance. "Damnit" the blonde boy cursed. He studied the narrow road. "We'll, I'll just have to make a U-"

But before he could finish his sentence, he heard a muffled sound like an explosion. A few seconds later the steering wheel started shaking.

It feels like one wheel is…oh no!

A slight surge of adrenaline afforded him enough concentration that Arnold realized what he had to do. As he pulled over the car to the side Helga slammed the map down on her lap as her wide eyes took in the situation

Once they were stopped, Arnold turned on the emergency blinkers and bailed out of the car. He didn't have to search for the wheel too long, as it was right beside him. He swore under his breath and shredded remnants of the tire for good measure.

"What happened, man?" Gerald wanted to know.

"A blowout." Arnold groaned. He kneeled down closer to the tire and Gerald joined him. He sighed. "Looks like it didn't damage the rim, thank god."

Helga had walked up beside Arnold and stood there with her hands on her hips. "Fantastic! We're stick in the middle of nowhere on the road, and we have a blowout! Nice going, hair boy!"

Arnold stood up and confronted Helga. "It's not my fault! Things like this happen."

"You were supposed to check the tires before we left, dumbass! It's part of a driving protocol!"

"Uh, guys..." Gerald said.

"And furthermore, this is an older car! It's more susceptible to problems sometimes! Were you been listening when you were getting your learner's permit?" Helga yelled, ignoring Gerald.

"Your one to talk Helga, you just got your license and you don't even have your own car, at least I have a car and have been driving for about a year now!"

"Oh sure, turn this on me now!"

"Guys..."

"PLEASE tell me you have a spare tire in the trunk somewhere! Now we have to go to get a new tire altogether and therefore wasting our time!"

"Wasting our time? Helga all you've done this whole ride out here is be rude to us when we're the ones who were so nice to you to let you come and instead of being grateful you've done NOTHING but annoy everyone here including me. I haven't done anything to you and yet you still act like I'm the one who did you wrong in life."

Everyone fell silent. Gerald's jaw dropped, and Phoebe raised her hands to her mouth to stifle a gasp. Helga's eyes widened and her face fell.

A car passed by going the opposite direction, and then Helga found the courage to speak. "...I'm sorry, Arnold."

"Whatever you say Helga" Arnold said darkly. He walked around the car to the passenger seat, then sat down while putting on his own iWood Shuffle. He hoped some jazz music could calm him down as he looked away from everyone, especially Helga, who still held her head down.

Gerald finally spoke. "I don't have a spare tire so we have to call someone but I think I saw a Hotel back there"

Phoebe nodded and pulled out her mobile phone. "I'll call and try to get a room for us there while you call for a tow truck"

"Okay babe." Gerald's voice trailed off as he pulled his own cell phone and dialed.

Phoebe touched Helga's shoulder.

"Sorry, Pheebs." Helga murmured, sighing. "I just ruined this whole thing." And now Arnold hates me... Why, why do I have to be such a bitch to him? Is my pride THAT more important? ...Apparently it is. Stupid Pataki pride.

Phoebe leaned towards Helga and whispered sternly. "I never said anything but you really need to let go whatever is holding you back from being friends with Arnold, he has always been there for you but even though right now may seem a bit troubled-Hello?" The voice on the other end of her phone interrupted her as she answered the woman who just picked up the call on the other end. "Yes I would like to have two rooms, please."

Helga sighed and looked up at the stars while Gerald and Phoebe carried on phone conversations, and she could see Arnold out of the corner of her eye, stewing in the passenger seat with his headphones on.

Once Phoebe had finished her phone call she turn back to Helga. "What was I saying? Oh yes now I remember, things may seem bad now but let Arnold cool off and tomorrow try to at least to be his friend."

"Yeah right Phoebes, like I want him to be my friend"

"Which one do you think you should lose? A friendship with Arnold who…" Phoebe looked around and then lowered her voice as she leaned in to Helga's ear. "Could become the flavor ice cream you'd been looking for…or your pride, it's up to you Helga."

Helga looked back toward Phoebe, and gave a soft sigh. "Arnold who...could become the flavor of ice cream you'd been looking for...or your pride, it's up to you Helga." Her words played back in her mind, making her bite her lip and seriously consider what she could be doing.

Gerald turned towards the girls as he closed his phone with one hand and put it in his pocket. "A Tow truck is coming to get the car, I think it would be best if you all walk to the hotel and-"

"I'm staying Gerald, I don't want to leave you." Phoebe said as she touched his cheek and smiled softly. Phoebe gave her boyfriend a quick kiss.

Gerald pulling the small girl close to him and held her there. "Okay Phoebe"

"We'll wait here too" Helga announced.

The only one who didn't answer was Arnold. He was still listening to his iWood player. Gerald reached inside of the car to touch Arnold's shoulder

"Huh?" Arnold asked, taking off his headphones

"We're going to wait here for the tow truck, then go to the hotel. That cool man?"

"Yeah"

"All right everyone." Phoebe then said. "The Hotel has two rooms we can have. Helga and I will take one room. Gerald, you and Arnold can have the other."

Helga mutely nodded, as did Arnold.

Gerald blushed behind Phoebe, and then put his arms around her, an action that caused Phoebe to blush profusely. "Actually guys...mind if I share a room with Phoebe?"

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Christopher S and pyrexshards gave us the idea for Gerald's line "Don't make me pull this car over" XD so Thanks guys! ^_~

Cover Art for this story is .com/art/Road-Trip-Story-CoverArt-178662100

Special thanks for Pyrexshards for being our Beta for this entire story, we bow to you and give you a virtual cookie (any flavor you want and any size)