She played the kiss over and over in her mind, cursing herself for losing control and kissing him back. Yesterday, she would have died of happiness to feel his arms around her. Tonight was a million times worse – he'd kissed her just to gauge her reaction, to make her tell him the truth. It was the most wonderful, terrifying feeling and then Zoe had walked in and she had regained her sanity. At least she had made a dignified exit without giving anything else away. And now she was lying in her bed, staring into the darkness, still feeling his mouth on hers, his hands on her waist, her fingers touching his jaw – ah, this is going to drive me crazy, she thought, climbing out of bed.
He stared at his drink. What was going on? Was this real? It had to be. She had his grandmother's ring. And she had melted into his touch as if she was coming home. But the Jo Lupo he'd always known had nothing but contempt for him. And he, well, she was hot, but she was made of steel and ice and they had nothing in common except that she enforced the rules he had so much fun breaking… Zoe touched his hand, breaking his chain of thought.
"Zane, are you okay? You haven't said a word in 15 minutes."
"Sorry, Zo, I was just thinking about…work."
"Work? You? Your time in the big house sobered you big time." She grinned at him. He smiled back. Zoe was gorgeous, a bit too young for him, but he had no intention of turning this, whatever it was, into anything serious. Or anything at all, really. Spending time with her put a flea in Carter's ear and he intended on enjoying watching the man squirm. Well, at least he planned on it. But this thing with Jo…
"I hope Jo wasn't too mean to you this time." Zoe broke into his thoughts again.
"What? No, no. I barely saw her. She was just there signing papers."
Zoe grabbed a fry off his plate. "She looks tired lately. I know you're not her biggest fan, but I've been worried about her. She hasn't been sleeping well lately."
He stood up. "Neither have I. I'm sorry, Zoe, I know you wanted to celebrate, but I'm exhausted. Mind if we call it a night?"
Disappointment crossed her face, but she said "Oh, no, I completely understand. Maybe we can hang out later?"
"Yeah, later." She came around the table and hugged him. She pulled back, looking up at him as if she was going to try for a kiss. He stepped back, smiling at her. "Night, Zoe."
Looking confused, she replied, "good night."
As he walked out, he nodded to Vincent, who shot him a look, and then looked at Zoe. Zane started reassessing his timeline and strategy on letting Zoe down easily.
An hour on the shooting range was not enough to take her mind off of Zane. Jo finished putting away her cleaning supplies and washed her hands. At least I'm not still at Carter's, she thought. I won't have to hear Carter and Allison and if Zane and Zoe… She cut off that thought. It wouldn't go that far. Carter wouldn't let it. She walked past the dojo. Working out was the only way she could tire herself out enough to sleep these days, but tonight that wasn't going to be enough. She picked up the phone and hit the speed dial. "Allison? I'm not interrupting anything, am I? Listen, I haven't been able to sleep lately…"
Zane finished toweling off and pulled on a t-shirt. His grandmother's ring sat on top of his dresser. He picked it up, turning it over and over. I must have really loved her. But she said something about me not respecting her… I guess I can see that happening. He smiled slightly. I can be kind of a prick. But what now? He put the ring in the top drawer and laid back, staring into space. That kiss was something.
Jo walked in the house and locked the door behind her. It was nice of Allison to call GD and order some sleep aids for me, she thought. Maybe I won't dream. She cracked open the bottle of pills and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. A few minutes later, she was in bed, waiting for sleep to take her. His mouth on mine, his arms around me, the smell of his skin… I wish the kiss never happened, she thought. I'm so glad it did. I don't want to hope, but I'm so tired of being unhappy. Her hand crept up to her chest where his ring used to lie. She closed her eyes. His mouth on mine, his arms around me, the look in his eyes when he let me go….