Kind of short, but as always, I hope you enjoy it. Reviews ALWAYS appreciated :)

Disclaimer: Cold Case isn't mine by any stretch of the imagination.

Man, I tell you, I ain't a violent guy. But at that moment, I got absolutely no qualms about knockin' Alex out again so Lil and I can keep havin' the night of our lives. Kickin' Alex to the curb sounds pretty appealin' right then too, but I don't get a chance to act. Instead, the instant she hears Alex's voice, Lil flies off me so quickly she's almost a blur. Her shirt untucked and her breath comin' in pants, she looks between me and Alex guiltily, her hands clenchin' like she ain't quite sure what to do with 'em. I just freeze on the couch, wonderin' if everything's about to blow up in my face.

"Scotty?" Alex repeats, eyein' me and Lil. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Lil says quickly, before I can even open my mouth. She holds up somethin' in her hands and says, "We're discussing a case."

Those are case files in her hands. Case files! I wonder incredulously how the hell she snuck them into the apartment past me while helpin' me carry an unconscious Alex in. And if she's got them, it means she was plannin' to work on them too. Jeez, she has got to be the worst workaholic I've ever known. I make a mental note to ask her about her smugglin' techniques later.

Alex nods and yawns. "Oh."

Oh? Oh? I stare at her in shock, wonderin' if she's really just gonna let us off like that. I mean, here I am makin' out with my partner on the couch while my girlfriend is conked out in my bedroom. If there ain't somethin' wrong with that picture, then I don't know the meanin' of the word wrong.

But, by some miracle, it seems like she hasn't noticed a thing. The alcohol must really be screwin' with her, because Alex just leaves it at that and asks, "Is there anything to eat?"

Lil's the first to move because I'm still too stunned to do more than blink. She says, "I'm sure Scotty has something in the kitchen," and ducks out of sight. A moment later, she returns with a glass of water and a slice of pizza on a plate.

"Is that good for her?" I whisper as Lil hands Alex the pizza. "I mean, she's just been drinkin' and all…"

Lil smiles wryly. "I'm pretty good at hangovers, Valens."

Oh. Right. I remember her mother and wince at both my seemin' insensitivity and in sympathy. I can't even begin to imagine what she went through as a child, and I curse myself for makin' her relive those memories through Alex. Through my girlfriend, to make it all that much worse.

We watch in silence as Alex downs the water and chomps down on the pizza. I draw a little closer to Lil, emboldened by Alex's obliviousness, and, when Alex ain't lookin', touch Lil's hand gently behind her back. She shoots me a startled look before grabbin' my fingers briefly, her cheeks flushin' slightly. I know then that what happened on the couch wasn't a spur of the moment thing, wasn't somethin' that Lil just got caught up in the spirit of celebration with. It was real, and it's somethin' she's really gonna try. The thought makes me break out into a grin so wide it almost hurts. She's in this, and I'm in this. Can it get any better?

And then out of the blue, Alex throws a hand over her mouth. I just stare at her, completely lost on what to do, but Lil leaps up and all but manhandles Alex into my bathroom. I follow them quickly, wonderin' how on earth Lil remembers where my bathroom is when she's only been in my apartment maybe twice, and watch as Lil throws open the toilet seat and holds back Alex's hair. I wince as my girlfriend empties the contents of her stomach down the toilet and marvel at how unruffled Lil is.

"Sorry about this," I say into the silence, rubbin' a hand embarrassedly through my hair. "'Bout makin' you take care of Alex like this."

She laughs softly, bitterly. "You don't think I've been taking care of drunks all my life?"

Damn it, I've gone and brought back bad memories, just when things were goin' so well. I don't know what to say except, "Sorry," so I apologize again, wishin' I knew what to do.

She smiles, bitterness gone. "It's okay. I'm used to it. And it's worth it."

She looks over at me, and I smile back at her. Hell yeah it's worth it. If we can keep bein' honest to each other, if this all works out, I'll take a dozen drunk Alexes. Hell, a hundred of 'em.

Eventually, Alex empties her stomach and slumps down next to the toilet, moanin'. "I feel like hell." She glances at Lil and a look of almost embarrassment crosses her face. "Sorry," she mutters.

Wow. Never heard that word cross Alex's lips before. Lil works wonders.

Lil shakes her head and says, "It's fine. You'll feel better after you get some sleep."

I straighten in the doorway, takin' my hands outta my pockets. "Yeah, get some sleep," I say sincerely, tryin' to mask my eagerness. Yeah, get to sleep so Lil and I can have a conversation or two. And more, if I'm lucky.

Alex nods, lookin' too weak to protest, so I heave her up into my arms and carry her back into my bedroom. When I straighten up to leave, she clutches at my shirt, her eyes hazy.

"Don't leave," she murmurs drowsily. "Stay."

She looks so much like a child then, so innocent, that I'm swamped by a huge wave of guilt. God, what am I doin'? I'm in love with Lil, but I'm goin' out with Alex, who I'm startin' to think is in love with me. What's worse is that Alex thinks I'm in love with her, or at least she doesn't have a clue about my feelings for Lil. I feel like the biggest bastard on earth for deceivin' her like that. How the hell did I screw everythin' up so badly? And how the hell am I gonna fix it?

I force a smile and sit down on the bed beside her, brushin' some hair outta her face. "Go to sleep, okay?"

"Okay." She closes her eyes and turns toward me. She looks so much nicer restin', like she ain't about to snap your head off for sayin' somethin' wrong. I sigh softly and watch her silently, fondly. Yeah, that's it. I ain't in love with Alex, but I've got a soft spot for her. Maybe, in better times, we could be friends. Maybe.

Finally, her breathin' slows, and I can tell she's slipped off into sleep. Leanin' forward, I press a soft kiss to her forehead, a kiss of friendship and a sort of goodbye, before risin' and leavin' the room. I shut the door softly behind me and return to the livin' room.

Lil's sittin' on the couch, her case files open on the table in front of her. She's starin' at the papers, but I can tell she ain't really readin' them. There's somethin' on her mind, and it ain't good. I wonder what's the matter now and sit beside her quietly, waitin' for her to talk to me.

"This isn't right," she says finally, softly.

I pause. "What ain't?"

"This," she says, gesturin' at the space between us. "Us."

I resist the urge to bang my head against the coffee table. How many times has Lil gone into this and backed out in the last minute? How many times have I hoped, only to be shot down seconds later? God, will this woman never stop torturin' me?

She sees my expression and laughs briefly. "No, I don't mean that I don't think we're real, Scotty. I know we are. I know that we have something between us that's more than partners, and I think we should try it."

I look at her. "But?"

"But it's not right," she finishes. "It's not right that you're dating Alex and I'm drawing you away."

"You ain't drawin' me away," I argue. "You've been the one all along."

She smiles. "I'm glad I am. But it doesn't change the facts. When you're with that ADA, you can't be with me."

"I ain't really cheatin' on her," I mutter, reachin' out to catch Lil's hand.

Lil laughs. "That's exactly what you'd be doing, Scotty." She squeezes my hand gently before pulling away. "So nothing can happen between us until you and Alex are over."

I look at her, knowin' she's talkin' the good and honest truth, and wishin' I'd had the sense to just tell Lil the truth from the beginnin', before I got into this mess with Alex. With a sigh, I say, "You're a good person, Lil. You got better morals than I have."

She chuckles. "I've got to have good morals to be a cop, Scotty. And…" She flushes slightly, adorably, as she adds, "It isn't all about morals, Scotty. I'm more jealous than I look."

I laugh too, lovin' my gorgeous partner in that moment more than anythin'. "I knew there had to be an ulterior motive, Rush." I lean back into the couch and stretch my arms back, sayin', "I'm glad you still get jealous. Means you really like me, don't it?"

She smiles and pretends to think for a moment. Finally, she says simply, "I guess it does." She leans back into the couch too, and after a moment, presses up against my side. I'm surprised, but my arm automatically wraps itself around her shoulders. She fits snugly under my arm, and I can't help but smile. The last girl who felt so right was Elisa, so it must be a good sign. Lil and I must be on the right track.

"I like you a lot too," I tease, leanin' my head so it bumps up against hers. "Actually, you have no idea how much."

"I got some idea," she says, grinnin'. "Just to let you know, I like you just as much."

I grin. "How much?"

She raises an eyebrow. "Enough to bail you and your girlfriend out of jail on New Year's Eve, that's how much."

I wince. "You ain't gonna let me forget about that one, are you?"

She laughs. "Definitely not. You're paying me with coffee for the next three years."

I look at her and can't help starin' at her lips. "How 'bout kisses instead?" I murmur before dippin' in to catch her mouth with mine.

It's a long moment before she pulls away. She tries to glare at me, but it's failin' miserably, what with her laughin' and all.

"We can't do this," she says through her smile. "Alex—"

"Is out of it," I say. "And the couch is damn comfortable. You don't want that to go to waste, do you?" I reach forward and play with her hand for a moment before trailin' my fingers down her face, down her throat, down…

She slaps my hand away gently, obviously tryin' hard not to grin. "You're a horrible influence."

"It ain't convincin' you though," I observe.

"It's convincing me more than you think," she answers wryly.

I raise my eyebrows questioningly, and she looks away, blushin'. As an experiment, I run my fingers lightly up her arm, and she shivers slightly, leanin' into my touch.

"You like this?" I ask softly.

She sighs. "You have no idea. But…"

"But we can't," I finish. I pull back away from her, though it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. "All right, I'll stop temptin' you."

"Thank you." It comes out slightly tense, like she's holdin' herself back. She looks up and meets my eyes, offerin' a slight smile. "Someday, Scotty."

I groan. Someday? That's way too long, way too ambiguous. For all I know, Lil might forget, or move on, or decide that what we have ain't real after all, and I'll be left high and dry. No, no, no, it'll be tomorrow, if I have anythin' to say about it. Tonight, if I get real brave and tell Alex the truth the instant she wakes up.

I sigh. "It's a good start to the new year, don't you think?"

She levels a skeptical look at me. "You mean besides the situation we're in?"

I laugh. "Yeah. Besides that."

She shrugs. After a moment of hesitation, she scoots a little closer to me and slips her hand in mine. I look down at our tangled fingers and back up at her in surprise.

"This isn't too hard," she says, not lookin' at me. "It isn't too tempting, I mean. I can deal with hand-holding."

I chuckle, wonderin' if I really do have as strong an effect on Lil as she has on me. It's kinda heady, havin' that sort of power, and I have to force myself not to experiment some more just to see how far my power goes. I wonder if Lil's the type of girl who's all tough and unyieldin' on the exterior but turns to mush if someone touches her just right. I'm already gettin' the feelin' she is, and I can't help but grin at how cute that is.

I let out a half-sigh, half-groan. "I can't tell you how bad I wanna touch you right now."

She throws her head back on the back of the couch, facin' the ceilin' with her eyes closed. "Don't say stuff like that."

I eye the curve of her throat and practically have to sit on my hands to keep from reachin' out to her. "Why?"

She smiles slightly, her eyes still closed. "You have no idea how badly I want you to touch me right now."

My eyes widen, and for a moment, I can only stare. Sure, I kinda know what sort of effect I have on Lil, but I never expected her to actually voice it out loud. It's a whole new Lil I'm seein' tonight, and I can't say I don't like it. In fact, it's amazin'.

I can't really stop myself. I reach out before I can think and touch her cheek gently, marvelin' in how soft her skin is, how warm it is. Despite her earlier protests, she leans into my touch, and I grow bolder. I trail my fingers down her cheek, across those kissable lips of hers, down past her jaw…

I stop and retrace her jaw, feelin' a slight bump under my fingers about halfway down to her chin. I might've kept goin' then and forgotten all about that little bump, 'cept Lil stiffens under my touch and jerks back abruptly, her eyes flyin' open.

"Lil?" I ask, worried I did somethin' wrong.

She looks at me, her eyes wide. Then a flush of embarrassment spreads across her cheeks, and she shakes her head. "Sorry. That was…stupid of me. Sorry."

"It wasn't stupid, was it?" I guess. There's somethin' there, somethin' about that spot that tenses her up. I wonder what. "What…what happened to your jaw?"

She closes her eyes again, but this time, it ain't 'cause she's feelin' all lustful. It's like she's shuttin' away painful memories, and that alone makes me sit up straighter, more serious now.

She licks her lips and sighs. "It's…Scotty, I don't want to talk about it."

"Now?" I ask, raisin' an eyebrow. "Or ever?"

Irritation flashes across her face for just a moment before she sighs again and opens her eyes. And just like that, I see her buildin' her walls again, slowly but surely. She's shuttin' me out.

"Don't do that," I say softly, more worried than angry. "Don't you pull away from me."

She hesitates, and in that brief second, I grab her hand and tell her truthfully, "I ain't gonna push you, Lil. I don't care if you don't wanna talk about it, ever. I don't care what happened, not unless you wanna tell me. I was just curious."

She stares back at me for another long moment, one in which I'm holdin' my breath and hopin' to God I haven't ruined this perfect night. I've already risked it a dozen times, but we've pulled through each rough patch. Let this night go on forever.

Finally, she sighs, and those walls, those damn walls, in her eyes crumble. I can't help but let out a sigh in relief and flash her a grateful smile.

"Thank you."

She shakes her head. "No, thank you. For not pushing, I mean. But…someday, Scotty." She looks me in the eye and repeats solemnly, "Someday."

We're gonna put it in out box of Someday, then. Okay. I got no problem with that. Only when is Someday?

I figure it's way too early into our little twisted relationship-non-relationship to ask, so I don't. Instead, I just sigh contentedly and squeeze her hand.

"What are we going to tell Boss?" she wonders aloud, leanin' her head on the back of the couch and lookin' at me. "Should we tell Boss?"

"Boss is smart," I answer. "He'll figure it out."

"Maybe." She chews her lip in the most adorable way, and I wonder what the hell kinda cruel fates in the world made it so my girlfriend is asleep in the other room while the woman I love and I cuddle on the couch.

"And Miller," I say. "She's sharp. I ain't sayin' anythin' for Vera, 'cause he can't see anythin' unless it's through a donut hole."

Lil laughs. "That's true. But Jefferies is just as sharp as Boss. The whole squad will know before we tell them anything."

I look at her and brush my fingers across hers. "Then maybe we should tell them first?"

"Or we could never tell them at all," she muses. And then she shakes her head and smiles ruefully. "No, that'd never work."

"Why not?"

She smiles at me and shakes her head again. "'Cause you couldn't be subtle to save your life, Valens."

I can't get offended at such an adorable smile, no matter how hard I try. I just scowl at her in mock-indignation and say, "Sure I can. I can be as subtle as I want." To prove my point, I run my fingers lightly up her arm, makin' her shiver and causin' her breath to catch.

She laughs softly, breathlessly. "That isn't exactly subtle, Scotty. Thank goodness you aren't going in there and running your fingers all over Boss."

I laugh too at the image of it. "Yeah, that probably ain't gonna go over so well."

She sighs and shakes her head slowly. "I guess we'll get over that obstacle when we come to it."

When we come to it. I remember, again, with a thrill that she's in this just as much as I am. We're really doin' this.

"In the mornin'," I promise suddenly.

She looks over at me in confusion. "What in the morning?"

"I'll tell Alex in the mornin'," I say, hookin' my fingers through hers again. "And we can…"

"It'll be Someday?" she fills in, smilin'.

I smile back at her. "Exactly. In the mornin'."

"In the morning," she promises, and I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life.