Chapter 1: Give It All Away

She still remembered the days when he used to smile. The days when he used to laugh, and joke, and be annoying, and loud, and obnoxious, and goofy, and…himself. She remembered when he used to be happy…

The days wandered by slowly, coldly. The village seemed to had dried up and lost its sheen. The proud village of Konoha was as quiet as it had ever been. The sun didn't even seem like it shined as bright. It's just what she thought as she looked up into the darkening sky.

'October 9th…' Yamanaka Ino thought as she walked home from another mission with Shikamaru and Chouji. The two were eerily silent as they escorted their god-sister home.

"Tomorrow…" Shikamaru stated, as if reading Ino's mind. Chouji ate his bag of chips in silence; however, his sudden slouch showed that he too got upset.

"October 10th…Naruto's birthday." Ino remarked solemnly. It didn't take a genius to know what was wrong with October 10th. Naruto hated his birthday. And now he was going to experience it in a different type of pain. An emotional pain…

"I wish he would talk to us. He just walks around, that same look on his face. We know he's hurt, but why won't he talk to us?" Chouji sighed, finishing off the fried snack. All three remained silent for a while, unable to answer the question. Naruto was hurt, and couldn't even pretend that he wasn't. It was far deeper than they would have guessed, but then again, the circumstances went further than they realized.

"When's the last time you guys saw him?" Shikamaru asked, glancing up at the sky as a single drop of rain hit his nose.

"Two days ago. He was training with Lee again. It's the only thing I see him putting effort into anymore." Ino called sadly. They reached Ino's house just as it started to pour. Shikamaru and Chouji bid her goodbye and darted off towards their own homes. Ino sighed, unable to stop thinking about the sunny haired blonde. She never put much thought into it, but Naruto was a necessity for Konoha to feel normal. They needed his loud proclamations. His goofy grin. His strong will and conviction. No. Naruto wasn't needed for Konoha to feel normal. He was Konoha. Everything that it was, Naruto made it that way.

'The dead last of the academy. The only person who I could have actually said I revolted…how did you turn out so great, just to be turned into something so much worse.' Ino thought, holding herself as she walked up to her room. She wasn't the only one admitting they missed the blonde's old self. Everyone she overheard speaking of him, and everyone she saw looking at him. They all missed him.

It hurt her. She had never taken any time out of her oh so busy schedule to even speak to him. The only times they ever really did talk was on missions. But then, Naruto went and got all grown up. It didn't stop there either. He continued to grow stronger, day after day, making her admire him and turning into what she had always believed Sasuke to be…

'Dammit!' She cursed herself for speaking that name. That person was half the reason for Naruto's feelings at the moment. The Uchiha bastard. Him and his little slut he practically has on a leash.

Ino paused, eyes widening. Why did she feel that way all of a sudden? Sure, they were in the wrong for what had happened, but was it really that bad? Of course. It was far worse than that. Ino should have been beyond pissed when it happened. What made it far worse for her is that subconsciously, she had always expected Naruto to be the sunshine of Konoha. To see him shattered the way he was; It just wasn't bearable.

She felt helpless.

So helpless.

There was nothing she could do. She didn't know Naruto well enough to say anything to him. All she knew about him was what he had proved as lies. He was dumb. Lie. He wasn't a good person. Lie. He wasn't bearable to be around. Lie. He was weak. Constantly proved as a lie. So why did everyone else know the boy that was constantly on her mind for weeks? Where had she been when Chouji and Shikamaru were becoming close friends of the blonde?

Chasing Sasuke…

She wanted to cry. For one of the first times in her life, she didn't want to be selfish. But she just couldn't. All of her friends could do something for the blonde, but not her.

Shikamaru was his closest friend.

Lee was close second.

Neji and Kiba had warmed up to him like brothers, and Chouji could say the same.

Hinata had achieved status as best female friend to him, though she wanted to be much more. It wasn't a possibility at the time.

Even TenTen sparred with him when he used to be happy. She was always grateful to him of changing Neji.

So where did that leave her? Alone. Alone because she never gave him the chance he deserved. She never looked at him the way everyone else did. She could only see the loser he was labeled three and a half years ago at the academy.

He had slowly started to change her. When he returned to the village, she sensed an aura of power from him. Then when he performed that one attack…the rasen-shuriken. He wasn't weak. Definitely not weak. In a fight at least. So why was he so weak now? There was no fight. He just gave in to defeat. Given up before it had even finished. He let them break him.

'No. Not another night. I won't spend another night thinking of him. If that's what he let happen, it's his own fault.' Ino knew it was a lie. It was his fault, but only for laying down and not doing anything about it. It was mainly because of the two that did it to him.

She couldn't stop thinking about it, and just like every night prior, cried herself to sleep.

At home. Well, what he called home. It never really had that homey feeling. It was more like a box. A closed in box. Alone in his closed in box, that never felt more like home before. Naruto laid in bed, thinking of nothing and everything. His eyes half closed, giving him a sleepy expression. He was sleepy. Not physically but, every other way it was possible to be sleepy. It was a surreal feeling. In honesty, it felt like he was floating, or at least hovering. Being absorbed into the off-white dullness of his ceiling. He hated that ceiling. It reminded him that he had to get up every day to another worthless 24 hours. It had only been a few weeks, but he forgot what worth living had. Ramen? Close, but it just wasn't the same anymore. His friends? They were alright, but not what he needed. Friends could come and go. Sasuke made that painfully clear…

With a sigh, he got up and got dressed, no longer wearing the orange and black jump suit he was known for. There was nothing that would stop him from wearing orange, oh no, but the jump suit was just a reminder of what he'd been through in it. Things he wanted to forget, forever.

He through on black pants and put on a sleeveless orange shirt. No need to sit in the apartment all day. Sulking around town was much more fun. He could torture himself by seeing all the places he wanted to forget. Maybe he should've put on the orange jump suit. Why was he torturing himself? Because nothing he did could be as bad as what those two had done to him. Why wasn't he mad at them? Hell, he suspected that they didn't even realize what they did to him. If they did, then oh well. He was too nice of a person to say anything anyway. It was his fault. Everything happened for a reason right? And everyone is responsible for their own actions. So that meant that everything that happened was supposed to happen, and that it was his fault.

'My fault…' Another sigh and he headed out the door, ready to start another day in his endless cycle of torture. He didn't take the time to look at the calender...

Ino awoke groggily, putting her pillow over her head as the sun beamed on her face. It darkened much too quick. Hesitantly looking up, she saw that it was still slightly dark out. A flash of lightning had brightened her room, making her think the sun was shining.

'Of course it's not shining. Why would it be...?'

Looking at the small clock on her table, she sighed and got up. She had training with Anko that day.

It was funny. She preferred training with Anko than anyone else. She was able to get her frustration out much easier, and boy did she have a lot of frustration lately. The thought made her a little happier. Quickly, she got up, dressed, and headed towards her training partner/sensei.

The sky still loomed with the rain clouds of the day before. Then a thought hit her. She paused, the cold air hitting her hard from her sudden lack of movement.

It was October 10th.

'Naruto…' She thought sadly. Now she really needed Anko. She was getting frustrated that she couldn't stop thinking about the blonde shinobi. She felt like she was obsessing. Even with the circumstances, she was spending way too much time thinking of him. As if he meant that much to her. Maybe she should just go talk to him. It would clear up some things, especially about that night. The night that he cried. Cried on her shoulder...

She paused, biting her lip. 'Naruto...I was the only one there and I couldn't do anything to comfort you...'

"HEY INO-PIG!" Ino's eyes widened. Her heart skipped a beat. For a second, rage flashed across her face.

'Not now! Please, not now!'

"Ino? Hey, you alive?"

'Onegai, Kami-sama! Onegai, iie!' (Please, God! Please, no!)

Her prayers were'nt heard as Sakura jogged up to her, holding an umbrella and a large smile on her face. "Hey Ino. You didn't hear me?"

"Uh, heh, no I guess not." She nervously stated, giving a fake smile. Sakura rose an eyebrow.

"What's up, I haven't seen you in a while. Or anyone else for that matter."

'Probably because you've been too busy fucking that Uchiha bastard.' "Yeah, I guess we've just been busy lately..."

Sakura frowned. She took Ino's hand. "Hey, Ino. You're still my best friend. I'm sorry that I got to Sasuke-kun first, but I don't want that to change anything between us."

Ino didn't jerk back. She could only stand speechless at Sakura's words. Finally registering, Ino gently removed her hand from Sakura's. 'Are you serious?'

"Sakura, you are so deluded." She said. Sakura winced.

"Wh-what?"

"Think back, okay. Think back to three weeks ago, and tell me what you've already forgotten. Then come find me." Ino stated and turned from the pink haired girl, walking away before she could respond again. Despite her calm attitude, Ino was pissed. Anko's training had taught her self-control, but it was getting harder and harder to stay that way. 'She thought that I was jealous because she got with Sasuke? Was I really that deluded too?'

Of course you were...

Ino stopped walking. Yes, she was that deluded. She had even felt that way three weeks ago...and she hated her self now. Just three short weeks ago, the only thing on her mind was Sasuke. How she finally had her chance to get with him, to show Sakura up once and for all. Her mind wasn't that far from Sakura's. She hadn't once consider the teen that had spent the last three and a half years of his life, shedding blood, sweat, and even his soul, to bring the traitor back. It took what happened three weeks ago to open her eyes to the truth. It took that moment to make spoiled diva, Ino Yamanaka, the princess of everyone's world, realize that life wasn't going to be glamorous. That Sasuke wasn't the person she had always thought. That Naruto wasn't either...

But not Sakura. She was still living in her fantasy world, unable to let go of the shattered past that was brittle to begin with. Brittle by her own hands. The past should have been marvelous, if she...no, everyone would have given the time to look at the person who was changing the world. If everyone would have acknowledged Naruto in the past, maybe he wouldn't have tried so hard to get Sasuke back now, just for Sakura. But it was far too late. The past was over, and the present was ensuing. A present that made the world seem like an endless dream...or nightmare. It the worst part was...

'I could've been just like her...' Ino thought. It was true. She knew that if she would have gotten to Sasuke before Sakura, then she would be doing the exact same thing. She wouldn't see the bastards true colors. She woudln't see the pain Naruto's going through. All she would see is the raven haired wolf in sheeps clothing. It plagued her, knowing just how dumb she really was. There was no rectifying the things she would have done. There was no correcting Sakura's mistakes. And there sure in hell was no forgiving the Uchiha. It was all his fault.

Lost in her thoughts, she bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She mumbled. About to continue walking. The person didn't reply. Ino turned around to catch a slow stride of black, oranga, and blonde. "N-Naruto?"

The blonde didn't stop, he just kept walking, hands in his pockets and head down. Ino saw his movements were sluggish, off balance. He didn't wear his hitai-ate, letting his unruly hair lay down all around his face, like it had been wet for some time. It covered his eyes. It wasn't Naruto. It was a brittle shell of what used to be him.

"Naruto, where are you going?" Ino called again. Naruto finally stopped walking but made no other movements.

"Hey Ino." He called flatly and then kept walking. Ino held her chest. The tone he gave felt like a dagger of ice piercing into her. What would she do now? Go after him? Try to make him feel better? How could she make someone else feel better if she couldn't do a damn thing for herself. She only stood in place and watched as the once loud shinobi left her view.

Once again, she found herself on the verge of tears. She didn't know why the blonde could do that to her. As she had said before, their bond wasn't as close as anyone else's so why was she so hurt everytime she saw him? She also wondered why she didn't go after him. To be there for him, better than she had been that night...

Ino. It had to constantly be Ino. Of all people, why her? Naruto clenched his teeth as he walked away from the platinum blonde.

'It was her that night. She was the one who saw me at my weakest...Kami-sama, why do you despise me?'

He held no ill will towards the girl. But it had to be her. The second person so madly in love with the forsaken Uchiha.

You brought him back. It's your fault...

It was his fault. He was the one refusing to see the truth. Him and Sakura. They both had refused to let go of the past, to let go of Sasuke. And now he was back, just like they had wanted, but only one person was happy with it. He should've been happy for them. After all, he had known all along that Sakura was still in love with him. That time she had told Naruto she loved him...he had called her out on lying to herself. But he had continued to lie to himself afterwards. He kept believing that maybe she had meant it deep down.

Three years and seven months.

That's how long he devoted himself to to trying to please her, and get Sasuke back. Even after the Uchiha allied himself with the person who killed his mentor, Jiraiya-sensei.

He put himself through death, and pain, and complete, utter sorrow for her. But it wasn't enough. Death probably wouldn't be enough. Even after three weeks, he hadn't seen her nor the Uchiha. Wait...three weeks. Then that meant.

His eyes widened.

'Today is...'

A chill went down his spine. Looking around, he caught sight of many villagers, looking at him remorsefully.

'Don't do that...' He thought bitterly. 'Don't feel sorry for me! Hate me! Hate me like you used to! I've done nothing worth changing you, so hate me!'

His nails dug into his palms until they bled and he ran. October 10th. He was seventeen now. What did it mean? That he was now old enough to resign as a ninja and leave the village. But what good would that do? He was legal to any and all things now, but still. What did it matter? What was there for him to do? All that was left was for him was to live out his days as a lap dog of Konoha and die on the battle field somewhere. Hell, he didn't even know if he wanted to be Hokage anymore. Running all the way to the top of Konoha mountain, going faster everytime someone shouted Happy Birthday, he skidded to a halt, letting out an anguished scream that echoed over the entire village. Tears streamed down his face.

'Why! WHY! Why can't I have happiness? I've brought peace to the shinobi nations like I told Jiraiya-sensei and Nagato-nii! I've become one of the strongest ninja's in history, so why? Why can't I achieve my own happiness like I've brought to everyone else? Is the price of true virtue so thin, so transient? Is happiness but a mere pipe dream for a selfless being? Is this what I was meant to do from the beginning, fade into darkness along with the cold history of the world that I put there?'

He dropped to his knees. It was the same place. The same place where she had seen him break down, worse than he was now. But this was it now. He would cry no more. This was the last time, the last tears he had left. The earth would not get its fill on his sorrow anymore. Uzumaki Naruto was dead. Namikaze Naruto was a shadow. The true Naruto was awakening. It was all that he had left. He had gave it all away. His heart, his mind, his body. All of it was gone. In its place was a mere shadow, a shell of what was formerly the hope of the world.