Harry was back at Grimmauld Place after his first year at Hogwarts. Remus was enjoying getting teach Harry again, especially teaching him things that wouldn't be on the curriculum. At that very moment he was teaching him Levicorpus "Only don't use it in front of Snape," he said, "it was – er – a favourite of James' when he was at school." Harry grinned.

"Levicorpus."

"Good." Remus told Harry as he dangled upside-down. "As you can see, it's a fairly simple spell when used verbally, the trick is to use it non-verbally. You do remember how to get me down don't you?" Remus crashed to the floor. "Yes," he muttered. "You do."

"Sorry Moony," Harry said, completely unapologetically, "shall I try non-verbally now?" Remus nodded and Harry thought as loudly as he could 'LEVICORPUS!' Nothing happened. Remus tried not to look too relieved.

When they were eating that night talk turned to Sirius and Remus' school days and Sirius started to happily insult Snape. "Y'know Padfoot," said Harry thoughtfully, "Snape can be funny when he wants to be. He's got the whole deadpan sarcastic thing." Sirius snorted,

"Maybe he's grown up enough to not be a complete git to you Harry-"

"Oh he's still a git," said Harry with a grin, "just not a complete one, sort of, a part time git. He's not too bad most of the time."

"Well, exactly," said Sirius, "to me he will always be greasy Sniv-" he caught Remus' look, "Snape, the gitwho was obsessed with the Dark Arts and always trying to get us expelled. It goes both ways, I expect that even if I was proved innocent, saved his life, devoted mine to serving him and gave him all my money he would still hate me." Remus nodded sadly.

Harry and Snape, on the other hand, had a curious relationship. Snape had gone to school with Harry's dad and they had hated each other. That hatred had initially been passed from James to Harry himself, but Snape had eventually come to terms with his long-standing grudge. Snape was not Harry's favourite teacher and Harry was far from being Snape's favourite student, but there was a grudging respect which had grown as Harry had shown him to be a little more competent than most of the 'complete dunderheads' Snape (in his own words) had to teach. This had grown when Harry had faced Voldemort. On Harry's part he had found that, if you managed to gain Snape's respect then he would become a very good teacher, however, Snape was very impatient with those who did not meet his exacting standard and cruel to those he considered stupid. He also, as head of Slytherin house, tended to favour the Slytherins, but he had done this less and less after he had had a falling out with Draco Malfoy's father, Lucius.

Harry was very happy to be back with his cobbled together family once more, although he missed Hogwarts. He had, however, become increasingly moody as the holiday wore on. Despite promising to write, he hadn't received one letter from his friends. He was beginning to wonder if he even had friends and now even Sirius and Remus had little success in cheering him up. Harry knew it wasn't fair to take out his hurt and anger on Sirius and Remus, but he had never had friends his own age before, and, as much as he loved Sirius and Remus, there was nothing quite like spending time with his friends.

Harry walked into his bedroom and saw Kreacher on his bed, he was just about to throw him out when he realised it wasn't Kreacher at all, but a different house-elf. "Um – who are you, what are you doing on my bed, and how did you find this house?" asked Harry. The house-elf quivered.

"Dobby, sir Dobby the house-elf, sir. Dobby found the house because house-elves have magic that wizards do not. The house was not protected against house-elves in the same way that it is protected against wizards" said the house-elf in a high-pitched voice.

"I'll have to tell Sirius and Remus about that." Harry muttered, then turned his attention back to Dobby.

"Dobby has come to warn Harry Potter. Dobby … Dobby does not know where to begin …"

"Why don't you sit down?" said Harry, but he knew it was a mistake immediately as Dobby burst into tears.

"Dobby had heard of Harry Potter's greatness, but Dobby did not know … Dobby did not know. To be treated like an equal by a wizard … by a wizard as great as Harry Potter … But this is why Dobby must warn Harry Potter, must save Harry Potter. Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts."

"What? Of course I've got to go back to Hogwarts."

"No." shouted Dobby in a frightened squeal. "Terrible things are planned. Harry Potter will be in great danger. He is too important to lose, this is why, even if Dobby has to shut his ears in the oven door, Dobby has to warn … to warn Harry Potter. Harry Potter must not go back."

"What terrible things?" Harry asked at once. "Who's plotting them?" Dobby broke down and sobbed into Harry's quilt.

"Dobby cannot say. Dobby wishes he could." And quite suddenly Dobby flung himself against the wall yelling "Bad Dobby. Bad Dobby." Harry grabbed him,

"All right, you can't say, I understand, but I've got to go back Dobby, I'm sorry." Dobby wailed,

"Why does Harry Potter want to back when Harry Potter will be in such danger? Why does he want to back when his friends don't care about him? They don't even write to Harry Potter. Bad friends. Bad friends."

"Well I expect they – hang on," Harry paused, "how do you know my friends haven't been writing to me?" Dobby shuffled backwards, cowering.

"Dobby did it for the best … Harry Potter mustn't be angry … Dobby had to iron his fingers for doing it … Dobby thought that if Harry Potter thought his friends didn't like him anymore …"

"Have you been stopping my letters?" Dobby guiltily pulled out a bundle of letters,

"Say you won't go back, sir. Say you won't go back and Dobby will give you these letters and won't stop other letters."

"Give me those letters Dobby."

"Harry Potter must swear!"

"Fine," said Harry, "I won't go back, now give me the letters." Dobby gave a wide smile of complete ecstasy and gave Harry the letters. Harry grinned, although he didn't like having to lie to Dobby, he had no intention of keeping his word.

"So it turns out some house-elf called Dobby has been stopping my letters in order to save me from some terrible thing that's going to happen at Hogwarts, except he couldn't tell me what it was. He kept banging his head against the wall anytime he got near to letting something slip." Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You think he was lying to me?" Harry asked.

"Put it this way," Sirius said, leaning forwards, "like you found out, and thanks for telling us, most wizards don't think about house-elves," he looked guilty for a moment, "house-elves have powerful magic of their own, but they can't usually use it without their master's permission. It sounds like Dobby was sent as a joke to stop you going back to Hogwarts. Do you know anyone at school with a grudge against you?"

"Malfoy." Harry said instantly. "He hates me."

"That would fit," said Remus thoughtfully, "house-elves are generally only owned by old, rich wizarding families-"

"Like the Blacks," said Sirius, throwing a dirty look at the house. Remus nodded,

"Like the Blacks and," he said with a significant look, "the Malfoys."

"That makes sense," said Harry, "sounds like exactly the sort of thing Malfoy would do. Anyway, I need to write to Ron and Hermione, tell them I've not been kidnapped or anything."

Hi Ron,

Some mad house-elf was stopping my letters, so I didn't receive any letters and the letters I sent didn't reach you. I'll tell you the whole story when I see you. Want to meet in Diagon Alley?

Harry

Harry sent a very similar letter to Hermione, and one to Hagrid, who had also been worried about him.

Harry met the Weasleys and Hermione in Diagon Alley. Mr Weasley was talking animatedly to Hermione's parents who looked amused and slightly nervous, before they separated to change their muggle money into wizard money, which sent Mr Weasley into raptures of delight. They all separated, Percy muttered vaguely about neading a new quill as he smoothed down his hair. Fred and George had spotted Lee Jordan and they were huddled together, talking in whispers. Mrs Weasley and Ginny were going to a second-hand robe shop. Mr Weasley was insisting on taking the Grangers off to the Leaky Cauldron for a drink. Harry last heard Mrs Granger asking if wizards had sugar-free drinks.

"We'll all meet at Flourish and Blotts in an hour to buy your school books," said Mrs Weasley, setting off with Ginny. Harry, Ron and Hermione wandered down the winding cobbled street and Harry explained about Dobby, and his suspicions that it was actually a trick by Malfoy. They both agreed that it sounded like something Malfoy would do. They stocked up on various supplies they needed, Ron gazed longingly at a full set of Chudley Cannon robes. They met Fred, George and Lee in Gambol and Japes Wizarding Joke Shop who advised Harry on what to buy whilst Hermione rolled her eyes. When they left Fred and George wiped mock tears from their eyes. "They grow up so fast," said Fred.

"Soon we'll be handing him the title of Troublemaker in Chief," agreed George.

An hour later they headed for Flourish and Blotts. A large crowd was gathered outside and Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at each other, surprised. Even when it had been full of Hogwarts student buying their schoolbooks it had never been this crowded before. They soon found out the reason for the crowd as a large sign proclaimed:

GILDEROY LOCKHEART

Will be signing copies of his autobiography

MAGICAL ME

Today 12.30-4.30 pm

"We can actually meet him!" Hermione squealed. "I mean, he's written almost the whole booklist!" Harry and Ron grinned at each other. It was no surprise to either of them that Hermione would idolise the person who had written their schoolbooks.

Gilderoy Lockheart was having a good day. His hair was perfect, his teeth were shinier than ever and he was surrounded by people who adored him. There was an ugly little man rushing around, really disturbing the scene, but he was taking photos for the Daily Prophet so Gilderoy tolerated him. He looked up as the ugly little man made a boy angry because the ugly little man stepped on the boy's foot. Gilderoy planned, perhaps, to step in and make the ugly little man apologise, making himself look wonderful at the same time, of course, when he spotted something much more interesting. Harry Potter.

After Gilderoy got over his initial shock he moved with a practised ease. He dived for Harry, grabbed his arm, pulled Harry towards him and posed all in one fluid movement. Gilderoy's only problem was that Harry looked embarrassed and was trying to pull away. It's such a shame, he thought, so famous and yet not nearly photogenic enough. Then an amazing thought struck Gilderoy, now would be the perfect time to reveal his little secret. Gilderoy threw his arm around Harry in a friendly, chummy sort of way and his teeth gleamed.

Harry staggered out of Flourish and Blotts, trying to get the feeling back into his arm. "Honestly," he told Ron, "I don't know how I'm going to survive with him as teacher."

"Well look at it this way," said Ron, comfortingly, "that famous curse might come into play and he'll lose all his teeth and go bald. He'd never go out in public again." They both laughed until they heard an all too familiar voice.

"Bet you loved that didn't you, Potter?"

"Bet you wished it was you," retorted Harry and to his great surprise Malfoy went red, or at least, as red as his pale complexion would allow.

"Why would I want to go licking the new teacher's shoes, but you Potter, you love getting all the attention you can get, don't you?"

"Leave him alone, he didn't want all that!" came a fierce voice from behind Harry. It was Ginny. Harry wasn't sure whether he or Ginny was more surprised that she had spoken, but he gave her an encouraging smile.

"Potter, you've got yourself a girlfriend!" drawled Malfoy. Ginny went scarlet.

"Better than Parkinson the human limpet." Said Harry. Malfoy started to say something when a hand appeared on Draco Malfoy's shoulder. It was his father, Lucius Malfoy.

"Well, well, well – Harry Potter. The legend in flesh." Lucius Malfoy's lip curled as he looked at the Weasleys. He picked a tatty, obviously second hand book out of Ginny's cauldron. "Disgraceful," he sneered and he looked about to say something else when Hagrid appeared behind him. He took one look at Hagrid and dropped Ginny's book back into her cauldron then stormed out of the shop, followed by Draco.

"Thanks Hagrid," said Harry and they wandered back down Diagon Alley together. It was much easier with Hagrid as all they had to do was keep close behind Hagrid as the crowds parted for him.