Espada Game Nights—Ch. 1, Bunco

"Everyone, settle down!" Aizen yelled over the voices of the Espada. "Gin, if you would." He said to his partner. Gin stood up and went to the podium.

"Well, you're probably wondering why we're all gathered here on a Saturday night." He began. There were several murmurs of agreement. "That's for sure." Grimmjow yelled.

"Okay, okay," Gin continued. "You see, tonight is the first ever of what Captain Aizen calls 'Espada Game Night'! It's where we all get together and play board games!"

"And exactly why are we doing this?" Grimmjow interjected.

"Because I said so! And I am cool, and awesome, and I'm your boss!" said Aizen with joy.

"So what're we playing tonight?" Harribel asked dully.

Aizen looked even more cheerful after the question, If that was even possible. "Bunco! It's a crazy human game where you get into pairs and the two of you try to roll more sixes than the other pair at your table before time runs out!"

"So why is it called 'bunco'?"

"Oh, I almost forgot! If you roll 3 sixes at the same time, you yell "BUNCO!" and you get one bunco point. At the end, we'll give out prizes for least wins, most wins, and most buncos!" Aizen beamed at them. They looked back at him dully. "Well, let's get started! Get into pairs of two, and sit at a table with another pair! Your partner must sit directly across from you, and no more than four to a table!"

"But there's ten of us. That isn't a factor of four." Starrk pointed out.

"I forgot to mention." Aizen said. "Gin and Tousen will be playing too!"

"But he's blind." Grimmjow said bluntly.

"Who're you calling blind, Kitty?" sneered Yammy.

"I was talking to Tosen, you idiot. Why would I be talking to you? I wasn't even pointing at you."

"Chop chop! Let's get into pairs!" Aizen ordered with a clap of his hands, before things between Grimmjow and Yammy could get nasty.

The teams came out like this: Aaroniero and Yammy with Nnoitra and Grimmjow; Zommari and Szayel with Ulquiorra and Starrk; and Barragan and Tosen with Gin and Harribel.

"Okay, let's begin! When I ring this bell, stop playing and rotate tables! The winning pair will move forward, and the losers will stay behind." Aizen directed.

"This game is trash." Ulquiorra commented, rolling the dice and getting a 1, 2, and 5, then passing them on to Zommari. Zommari scored a six, so he rolled again.

"Are you even keeping score?" Starrk asked the other Espadas at his table.

"No."

"Nope."

"Why would I?"

Everything was going smoothly until during the middle of the game, Grimmjow shouted "CERO!" and sent a cero at Yammy.

Aizen rushed over. "No, no, no, Grimmjow, it's bunco, not cero."

"Oh." Grimmjow said, looking slightly disappointed. Yammy, meanwhile, was smoldering.

"Idiot," said Ulquiorra with a small laugh.

At the other table, Tosen and Barragan were having some difficulties.

"Did I roll a six this time?"

"No, Tosen." Barragan grumbled.

"Are you sure?" Tosen asked.

"Yes, I'm sure! I'm not blind, am I?"

"Well, even if you were, I wouldn't know, would I?"

"Uhg…"

"Nnoitra, phone call for you." Tesla entered and held up a cell phone.

"All right." Nnoitra exited into the hall for privacy, but bits of his conversation could still be heard.

"Yes, mom, I'm doing fine. Of course I put my rash cream on last night. All right. Give dad a hug for me. Okay. Toodles."

Nnoitra came back in to find his whole table snickering. When they saw him coming, they straightened up and acted like nothing happened. They looked very suspicious.

"What's so funny?" Nnoitra asked.

"Nothing…" Aaroniero began, but Grimmjow burst out laughing.

"Toodles!" He was laughing so hard, tears began forming in his eyes.

"Why you—" Nnoitra yelled. He sent a cero at Grimmjow, but he dodged it, and the cero instead hit Yammy again.

Nnoitra looked over at Yammy. He was smoldering again, and his eye was twitching dangerously. "Are you okay, Yammy?" He didn't respond. Yammy waited a while before saying, "Ulquiorra?"

Ulquiorra heard him, understood, and got up. He walked behind Nnoitra and Grimmjow and whacked them both on the back of the head with his book. "That felt good," he said, walking away.

"Ow!"

"Ow!"

"That's what you get for cero-ing Yammy, you two," Gin said from the other table with a laugh.

The rest of the evening went fairly well, with the exception of a few more "accidental" ceros-one from Yammy, and one from Grimmjow. Grimmjow had aimed at Ulquiorra, but instead hit Szayel, who turned Grimmjow into a kitty with one of his syrums. Unfortunately, Aizen was able to turn him back.

Finally, the terrible game night was over, and it was time for prizes. Aizen collected all of the score sheets (Zommari, Szayel, Starrk, and Ulquiorra had never even bothered to keep score) and tallied up the results.

"Okay, your attention, please!" Aizen called. "I would like to announce the winners for tonight. The first prize, least games won, goes to Zommari, Starrk, Ulquiorra, and Szayel, who each remarkably had zero wins!" Small applause. "You each get a month's subscription to The Hueco Mundo Gazette!

"Next, the winner of most games won is team Gin and Harribel! They've each won a fifty-dollar gift card to the Espada Store!

"And last…the winner of most buncos, with two…is…GRIMMJOW!"

"YEAH! That's what I'm talking about!" Grimmjow cheered. "So, what've I won?"

Aizen grinned. "You've won…A LITTER BOX!"

"Woo! A litter—wait, what?"

"You've won a litter box."

"WHAT? This thing is freaking screwed up! They get second and third place and get fifty bucks and a subscription, when I get first and I get a litter box?" He asked.

Aizen shrugged. "We thought it'd benefit you more."

"Benefit! I AM NOT—A FREAKING—KITTY!" Grimmjow yelled, while the other Espada rolled around laughing. Even Ulquiorra cracked a smile.

"And it's pink! Pink! Who picked this out, anyway?" asked Grimmjow.

"Tosen."

"TOSEN? Well, no wonder! Tosen is FREAKING BLIND!"

"I am not!"

"Shut up, Yammy!"

"Okay, okay, calm down." Aizen said, standing up again. Then he gave this big, long speech (which nobody really listened to) on how the game night was such a big success, yadda, yadda…

"Well, at least it's finally over." Harribel muttered.

"And I am proud to announce that we shall have an Espada game night every Saturday night!" Aizen finished.

"Uhg…."

Author's Note

Heh heh, I really enjoyed writing this. Like my other fanfiction, I plan to update every other day or so. Please read and review! All of your comments help me get better.

Well, Ta Ta For Now! Hope you enjoyed it. Next time will be scrabble. :D

Yours truly,

~Potterwatcher