Afterwards

On the day of his release, now a thirty two year old man, Kaito knew he was changed. Aoko had come to visit him over the years and he wanted her to be there when he got out.

But he told her not to come.

Having had little cash on him at the time he was arrested, one of the guards that he'd become friends with lent him some money. Kaito promised to pay him back but the man waved him off.

"Think of it as a present so you're not so institutionalized."

Kaito smiled. "Thank you."

"I'm sure you're not using it on yourself. Anyway, kid, get the hell out of here." Many of the guards had taken to calling him kid, not only because of who he was but because of his age at the time. The nickname stuck.

Kaito waved over his shoulder, leaving his home for the last fifteen years behind, welcoming the freedom with each tentative breath.

Stopping at a store, he bought what he needed. His hair had grown out over the past years and now reached below his shoulders. Taking his father into consideration, Kaito left a small mustache across his face. No one could recognize him, thanks to help on several fronts.

He took the walk slowly, having the directions memorized from when he had asked Hakuba to drop them off. The detective had started his own business, rivaling Kudo Shinichi who had mysteriously reappeared three years after he'd been arrested. That didn't leave Hakuba with much time to spend on the magician. Kaito was okay with that. The detective took his life into his own hands.

The gates screeched as he swung it open, feeling heavy thoughts weigh him down. They would be his penitence and burden for the rest of his life. Kaito was okay with that now. There were times before that he hated being weighed down by anything. Now that anchored him to life more thoroughly than he ever had been before.

Stark gray monuments rose like judgmental gods around him, suffocating him until Kaito reached close to the end, coming to Hattori's grave.

The tears weren't something new. Life in jail had broken most of his father's teachings. It was only good to hide behind a Poker Face when you were playing Poker. Kaito hadn't held any cards in a long time.

"Hattori-kun." Kaito ran his hand along the cement, hoping that somehow the boy would know he was there. Kaito was the reason that he wasn't standing next to him at the moment. The reason that the boy hadn't lived to be a man. "I hope you know how sorry I am. I always wanted to thank you. If you hadn't hit me that day, I'm not sure how far I would have taken things. I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be the person I am." Kaito closed his eyes, letting his head rest against the stone. "Thank you."

Of course there was no reply. Kaito was alone, left to sit with his feelings as he cleaned up the grave site, not having much work to do with how frequent it seemed people came to it. He placed the flowers he had bought on it, a mixture of wild pants that suited the wild teen.

A hand on his shoulder made Kaito jump back, tripping on his feet and falling backwards into another grave, knocking the right side of his body against it.

"Who are you?" A woman with long hair, tied gently back in a low green ribbon with teal colored eyes, looked at him with curiosity. Kaito stared dazedly back, unsure of what to say. His name wasn't something people took kindly to.

In the silence the woman figured it out on her own, losing her curiosity and replacing it with neutrality. "You're Kuroba-kun, arn'tcha?"

Kaito nodded, recognizing Kazuha even as the years had changed her. He had only seen the girl once but Kaito had a perfect memory. The woman standing before him now was his own age, features well defined and makeup painting lightly across her eyes.

"Well get up off the ground. Ya look like an idiot." The woman held out her hand to him to help him up. Kaito stared numbly at her, trying to judge her future actions and not believing that her kindness was real. Kazuha sighed, letting her hand drop. "Fine then, stay in the dirt."

She bent down to light an incense stick on Hattori's grave, placing her palms together. "I heard that Heiji was tryin' ta help ya. I can't say the idiot ever made any sense ta me but if he thought ya had the right to be saved, I've got no problem lettin' ya be. That doesn't mean I want to see you all the time. You're Heiji's murderer. Sometimes I really hate you."

Kaito looked down at his knees, staying silent. Of all the people, he knew Kazuha was the one who would never forgive him. As out of his mind as he was, Kaito should have felt something was wrong. He cursed himself over and over for letting Snake and the man's mind games get to him. He had, after all, been present when his mother had killed herself. It was the only reason he knew Snake hadn't done it. The man had made him watch, his voice unable to reach her through a one way mirror. After this he was going to visit his mother's grave as well.

Kazuha finished her prayer, dusting off her skit and lowering her hand again. "Come on, I told ya ta get up. Do ya want Heiji to see ya actin' like a big baby?"

Kaito reacted on instinct to the authoritative tone, blaming it on too many years following orders.

"See? Was that so hard?"

Kaito got to his feet, letting go of her hand as quickly as he could. When he refused to meet her eyes, Kazuha walked up to him and put her face in his, taking his chin and making him face her.

"Don'tcha act like that. Heiji died tryin' ta make yer life better. Don't run away from it."

Kaito's eyes locked on hers for the first time, reflecting the distorted image of sunlight and his own dark eyes back at him. He nodded to her. "I know."

"Good." Kazuha turned and left without saying another word. Kaito felt oddly optimistic after that, fingering a ring he held in his pocket.

He ruined his life, but it wasn't over yet. As long as he was alive, and for the people who weren't anymore, he was going to live it to the fullest.

Now all he needed was a 'yes'.