Chapter One: Not the Same After That

My name is Avery Muze and I am completely and unapologetically awkward. When my housemates learned about social cues and standards I was off smearing mud on my body and making tribal noises. As girls began using makeup and styling their hair I'd just come out of my tribal faze and began to wear real clothes. Not that I wear anything special that people would pay attention to or want to borrow, but I am quite proud of my progress into jeans and t-shirts. As for boys, oi, don't get me started. Actually, there's nothing to 'get started' about. My interaction with boys is somewhere along the lines of 'duck and cover.' I think the quoted line indicates how pathetically unaware and uninformed I am when it comes to the opposite sex.

The only boy I've ever interacted with is Rex Mulvaney who has been forced to be my potions partner for the past seven years. And I mean forced. Slughorn paired us as potions partners out first year at Hogwarts. And me, having an extreme fear of change, have bribed Slughorn every year to keep me paired with Rex. Rex probably thinks I fancy him at this point.

I don't.

He wears an eye patch.

I don't date pirates.

Or any person that carries sharp objects with them.

Saying I've ever come close to dating. Which is never.

Hypothetically, if I were to date, I would be sure to stay away from men with pointy and blunt objects that could possibly kill me. On top of being incredibly awkward I'm also incredibly clumsy. I fell so much as a kid my parents made me wear a helmet because they feared I would get brain damage. Fortunately I have no reported brain damage, just a paralyzing fear of attaching myself to people. Which is why my parents bought me a cat two years ago. I think they realized that the only person I talked to was inside of my head and worried that I would start talking to inanimate objects or create imaginary friends so they bought me a cat to keep me out of an asylum.

My cats name is Flint; he's named after the lead singer of my favorite band The Screaming Banshees. He's really pretty with black as his main color but also has brown and white spots mixed in. Flint is a lot like me. Both of us keep to ourselves and don't really interact with anyone else.

Of course right as I'm thinking this Lily comes into the girl's dormitory talking to Heather Spence.

"First day of school is always so hectic, being Head Girl along with taking all Advance courses is going to do me in this year."

"At least Ian Wood is Head Boy along with you, he's so fit." Heather said in that dreamy voice girls use when talking about boys they think are good looking. I myself have never used that voice.

"He's alright I suppose, I've never really chatted with him before but whenever I'm near him all I hear him talk about are girls and tea."

"He can dump tea in my harbor any day."

This is awkward. I should probably leave now. I don't really know how to handle gossiping girls, or girls in general, people in general for that matter.

I grab a book with the intention of going to the library. Once I reach the common room I look at the clock and see it's past curfew. I now have a difficult and scary choice to make; go back to my room and deal with gossiping girls while I lie awkwardly in bed or stay in the common room filled with people. Both involve me being in a room with people. I don't like my options. Most people in the common room are busy with their friends though and are less likely to notice my presence.

I sit in a corner and start reading my book. The noise level is loud but I've always been able to block out sounds around me while I read. Quite the gift I have. However, there is always one noise, one particular sound that I can't ever block out because of the sheer loudness of the voice. This voice, this voice that breaks the sound barrier belongs to Lily Evan's while she yells at James Potter.

"Why are some of my knickers missing, Potter?" Lily yelled gathering the attention of everyone in the common room.

I really think Lily is an attention whore. She could always take James out into the hallway to talk to him, but no, she always insists on destroying his manhood in front of a crowd. Poor James, it's so obvious that he truly likes Lily. People think he just makes fun of her and asks her to marry him as a joke but every time that she rejects him you can see true hurt flicker in James's eyes.

"I didn't know I played part in where and what you do with your knickers." James said with his exaggerated arrogance as he fluffed his hair and quirked an eyebrow.

Cor, he looks sexy when he does that. I don't know how Lily can resist him he looks irresistible. And yes, yes I can see a fit guy if one crosses my path. Just because I don't talk to guys or know anything about them doesn't mean I cant tell if they're good-looking or not.

Some boys have quirks that make them fit, like Peter Pettigrew. The quirk that makes Peter so cute and adorable is that he treats his girlfriend Tina so well. I witnessed once that Tina was crying and Peter ran over to her side and conjured her favorite cookies. He put the cookies in front of her and put his arm around her shoulders as she buried her face into his chest and cried. He didn't say anything he just rubbed her shoulders until she had calmed down. Something about his actions were so sincere that even though he isn't conventionally good-looking there's something about him that I find attractive.

Then there are boys like Sirius Black who are in your face obvious. Sirius is undeniably handsome. There is nothing wrong with him and it's quite frustrating that someone so beautiful can exist. It does make for some excellent gawking when I hide creepily in the corner and have nothing better to do but stare at him.

"Listen Potter, you need to stop this obsession with me its annoying and creepy."

"Why Lily, haven't you heard?"

"Heard what?"

"That I have procured a girlfriend."

Lily let out a low laugh and examined him, not quite sure if she believed him or not. "Oh yeah Potter, who?"

"It's," James's eyes scanned the girls in the common room. The girls were pushing past each other and pulling each other's hair in order to get in James's eyesight. James's eyes then stopped, and he was looking right at me.

No. No. No no no no no no.

Stop looking at me. Oh Merlin, if you have any sympathy in me you will redirect James's eyes to the posse of girls vying for his attention and love.

"Her," James said pointing right at me. Twenty girls immediately looked at me, all of them looked like I had just slapped them in the face and punted their pet.

Screw you Merlin.

I want to die. Where is a black hole when you need one? Maybe I should tell him I'm a lesbian. Sure, I would be throwing James under the bus but it's not like he's ever done anything for where I feel I owe him his dignity.

"Avery? Really, you are dating Avery Muze?"

"I am indeed Ms. Evans."

"I don't believe you."

"If she wasn't my girlfriend would she be alright with me doing this?" Without warning James swooped to my side. He bent down so he was eye level with me and his mouth came crashing onto mine.

I've never kissed a boy before. I have no idea what to do. I once made out with my shower wall but I had a high fever and was delusional. So aside from that I have no experience. I lean into him in hopes that more added pressure will make the kiss somewhat decent on my half. Right as I start to lean into the kiss James pulls away. Without a force keeping my balance my upper half outweighs my lower half and I fall off of my chair and land face first on the ground.

"See," James said as he helped me off the ground. "She's falling for me already."