Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Oh! My Goddess, I'm a poor man, and own only my words.

A/N: EDIT: with this happy-go-lucky spam bot running around that they use for reporting stories (you know who you are!) i changed the title so as not to potentially flag it, and I think the new title is lame...I liked the old Ah! what the Hell! better... Sorry to confuse folk.

Now don't get mad at me. While I don't have writers block or anything, I do have these tales gnawing at the forefront of my brain and cant seem to focus on anything else until I get them on 'paper'. Light's new chapter is about half done, the new bit for Forever is about a third of the way there. Just FYI's, it's just been a bit nutty on my end…

Now then, to let you know, this fic was intended originally as a one shot and kinda grew to big in my head for that. Though I will say that this one will only be updated as the urge strikes me. It will probably end up as a small harem in the end, though for now it's only going to focus on one young lady. Also, there are bits here that will only be explained when the next chapter comes, mainly info on Sasuke, Tayuya and Kin. So don't expect to many grand revelations right off the bat ne?

Lastly, please check out The Dark Graven's fics, he's a new-ish writer here on the site that took a boot to the ass by me to get his first fic going ^_^ So give him some love. LoPe21 and WhiteDragon17 are, as always, great writers and my mates, so please head out and check out their work as well. LoPe has a new Warhamer 40k/Naruto cross that is shaping up nicely, and Whitedragon has a Naruo/Streetfighter fic that's going to be a lot of fun, please take a look at both and give them some reviews ya? White is debating on re-writing part of the newest chapy of his SF fic and is looking for some options there, let him know if it's good as is or could use some touch ups.

Oh! What the Hell!

Chapter 1: Wrong Number

Today.

Officially.

Sucked.

This was supposed to be one of the greatest days of his life. His triumphant return from his three year training trip with his sensei.

It appears, that was not in the cards for him.

Upon arriving he and abandoned the sage to go in search of his friends.

In search of her.

What he found had shocked him to his core. Sakura, sitting in a little café, with Sasuke.

Well, perhaps 'sitting' was a strong word, she seemed to be hanging off him, his same indifferent look adorning his features as he tried to power through his lunch despite her incessant pestering for a date.

Even through the fog of surprise he could tell that the raven haired avenger was close to snapping.

And a part of him was happy for that. Though he was happier still to have his brother back.

Too bad that Sasuke didn't see it that way. When he had tried to talk to the duo, to find out the details to his return he was met with a scowl that likes of which chilled him. It was no different than that day in the valley.

His chest throbbed in dull memory of having the devastating technique rammed through his body twice, something that no other man on this world could claim.

When he tried to ask again, all he was met with was the enraged fist of his crush.

It was almost like old times.

Though, in all his travels, the one thing that the old pervert seemed to help him with the most, was in seeing people for what they really were.

He now understood.

It was almost disturbingly clear.

This chick was nuts!

Too bad for him this revelation was a bit late, as he was sent careening down the street like a rag doll, wincing in added pain as the stinging feel of the demon's chakra flowed through his body in an attempt to stave off injury.

It was only partially successful this time.

The Kyuubi was no fool, it had prioritized the most serious of injuries, in this instance, the boy's skull was where it was needed.

Hence his current dilemma, he was sitting in his apartment with a cast on his leg and grumbling as he stared out the window, a teasing look at the ramen stand his only real care.

Life sucked.

Tsunade had seen him and dealt with several of his other wounds, shocked at the level of damage that the pink haired girl had inflicted on him, seemingly first thing, upon seeing him after all these years. She had been furious when she found out that somehow the girl had copied her strength technique without her permission, and worse, had shown it to the traitor as a way of trying to garner affection from the brooding boy.

She could only shudder at the thought of what that boy could do with her power, especially if Orochimaru later got his hands on him.

While she had set the bones in his leg most of their plans for the next few days had been dashed on the rocks, it would take him about a week to get back to one hundred percent, and in that time all he could really do was read, practice his control, and wait.

For someone with the energy of Naruto, it was hell.

The only silver lining had been that Tsunade had given him something for his apartment he had never had before.

A telephone.

She had been ecstatic to see him, despite the injuries, Shizune as well, the pair almost hugging the life out of him after restoring it. Both had been surprised at his appearance, at first standing there in stunned silence at his looks. He had to admit, it was rather entertaining to see the small blushes on the two women. He had changed much over the years, though he had to admit, it was probably the only thing that had really improved on the trip. Several failed attempts at accessing the fox's chakra, a bit of work to try to get the rasengan to work in one hand.

And traveling.

That was it. He knew it was important to keep moving, to keep people off his trail, but refusing to stop in some forest that wasn't even on a map in order to train in some techniques.

It was a waste.

He did what he could on his own, getting new clothing that was laden with weights to help him build strength. Using his clones to throw stones and launch sneak attacks in order to keep his reaction time up.

It was never enough for him, he knew if he wanted to stand a chance against Akatsuki he would have to get as strong as he possibially could, and that wasn't happening with his current 'master'.

Shaking his head to clear it of his musings he turned back to the happy thoughts of Tsunade and Shizune. A part of him blushing hotly at the memory, he was a growing teenage boy after all, and being smothered by two beautiful women, regardless of age, had been…entertaining. Their gushing over his changes and how handsome he was now a welcomed change from the way he had been treated once upon a time, something that he had hoped that Sakura would have noti-

He dashed those thoughts and glared at the ruined orange jumpsuit that had fallen in his line of sight, he had bought the thing with the last of his traveling funds in hopes of giving people a hint that it was him, knowing how much he had changed in his travels. It was nothing but a tattered, blood-stained mess. Barely sparing it a thought he tossed it towards the sink even while making two quick hand signs, a flame meant to start campfires setting it alight.

It was time to put away the masks. Already running through what he would be doing soon he made a quick cross with his hands, a dozen copies of him filling the apartment, he would have made more, but his limited space coupled with a wheelchair was something of a hindrance.

"Alright guys, get to work, leaf balancing, scrolls, and what cleaning you can manage."

"Boss! What about food!"

With a wide grin several of the seated blonds exchanged high-fives while he turned to the phone.

He was no fool, he knew how they worked, though he could never afford one in the past, it was usually only something that the officials of the village and the businesses really needed anyway, the messenger systems of the village were typically more than enough to get the points across, but given the fact that most of his friends were in clans or owned business with their families it gave him a much needed chance to talk to them all.

Maybe even do a small prank…

But first…RAMEN!

Now if only he knew the number…

Well, information must have it, right?

Wheeling himself over to the small end table by his couch he picked up the receiver and listened to the odd tone for a moment before pressing the zero key.

'Konoha information services, how may I help you?'

He smirked at sound of the woman's voice, sometimes technology amazed him.

"Yes, I need to get the number for the Ichiraku Ramen Bar please."

Nabbing a bit of paper and a pencil he was quick to jot it down and with a quick 'thank you' he pressed the little button that would let him hang up, releasing it, then dialing once more.

He should have paid more attention.

The odd, faux-bell sounded over the receiver before a dull click was heard. An oddly alluring, yet utterly bored voice coming over the line.

'Hello, you've reached the Goddess Technical Help Line, we will be with you in a moment to grant your access request.'

"Oh, sorry…I think I got the wrong number."

"Um…Boss?" The original was busy double-checking the scrap of paper with the number and only gave a slight grunt in answer, "There's…a woman…"

"Get back to work, stop looking at the girls on the street." He picked back up the receiver.

"Boss, she came out of the wall…"

"Well that's great for herrrrRRRR?"

He thought he was past his voice cracking…

Then again, having two, very soft breasts press suddenly against one's back will do that…

Hot breath washed over his ear as a sultry purr sent a shiver down his spine, "Well, well…Seems I got a cute one for once…"

As she pulled away he leaned back, bending over the chair to the point he almost tipped over. Looking up at her he felt his face grow even hotter, if that were possible.

Flawless, deep mocha skin, stunning hair the color of freshly fallen snow, off-violet eyes that seemed to shine as she studied his face. A midnight black dress trimmed in golden thread making triangles that, while it seemed fine enough to fit any formal event, was quite revealing, showing a generous amount of cleavage from her slightly above average bust courtesy of a deep 'V' in the fabric that stopped just below her navel, hands covered in elbow length black gloves holding onto his chair and keeping him from falling back.

Though the thing that truly drew his eye were the odd facial tattoos she bore, a bluish-purple set of inverted triangles, one at the center of her forehead and two others adorning her cheeks close to the outer edge of her eyes.

He could never hope to see a woman so beautiful again.

"See something you like?"

He thought his yelp was rather manly…

"H-How did you get in here? Who are you?"

Her arms crossed as she stuck her nose in the air, a faint huff on her lips, "How rude…one should introduce himself before asking others."

He gave her a sheepish grin before his features hardened, causing the woman to arch a finely sculpted brow. "True, but you entered my house without invite."

Her lips curled into a slight smile, most would have cow-toed down to her in an instant.

She loved a challenge…

"I suppose, in a way, that's true…though I did say I would be right over to process your request…"

He cocked his head to the side at that, confusion dancing through his eyes, "What request?"

She seemed to shift, somewhat, into 'business mode' as she plopped on the couch, somehow the dress keeping her…contained, "Like I said, we received a system access request from you by telephone, though to be honest I didn't think this backwater had them…"

He bristled slightly at his village being called such a thing but knew he was in little position to do anything about it. With one leg stuck, almost comically, out before him in a cast he couldn't even summon, and his clones would be in the same shape, the most he could do was use a kunai. "You mean that wrong number a minuet ago? I was trying to call the ramen stand…"

"What the hell's 'ramen'?" She stiffened a bit at the chorus of gasps from the blonds, a few muttering to themselves that, 'it couldn't be' and 'it's not possible'.

"Well, I think I can at least answer that question…" The blond grinned as he held up the bit of paper once more.

For Ayame Ichiraku it was business as usual.

Meaning she was running from kitchen to store room to front counter like a chicken with her head cut off.

Not for the first time this week her father was absent from the stand, it seemed that after their little blond ball of sunshine had departed for his trip that the man had dipped into a depression, like the highlight of the man's day had been seeing her 'little brother'. It really wasn't fair, she was just as sad as he had been, but his constant stream of friends coming to the stand had helped her, hearing all of the tales that the little idiot had been involved in, her offering up tidbits from his youth that they hadn't know, many of them setting others into their own bouts of sadness, either at a sad birthday story or reminding them of the good times before he had left, making each of them wish that they had been just a bit nicer, just that much more…well, more.

Two in particular couldn't claim to be among those that could lament their shortcomings when it came to the boy, primarily because they simply hadn't even known he existed until they had arrived. Not in the sense of some of the villagers, who had learned the hard way not to bad-mouth the blond around them, no, they hadn't been a part of the village at that time.

The kid had changed that, giving the duo a home where they didn't have to sleep with both eyes open, even one eye closed would create a lethal blind spot that would cost them dearly.

The two girls in question had just entered the little bar when they heard the current operator let out a groan of sorrow. "Oi! Bitch tits, what's the matter this time? Dew rag fall in the pot again?"

She was never going to live that down…during one rush she had lost her kerchief and in mad gab to keep the cloth from falling into the soup one of her more…tender areas had gotten a bit close to the fire, giving her a slight burn that she had complained about all day, but who could blame her? That shit had hurt.

"Hey Tayuya-chan…"

The redhead arched an eyebrow at the brunette, she had changed quite nicely over the years, having filled out a bit, to the point that her surrogate sister, Anko, had officially declared that she was ready to start wearing the armored netting like she did, to distract all the little perverts out there. She had let her hair get a bit longer, though opted to keep it in a loosely collected ponytail, much like her friend, so that it would keep out of the way, especially out of her eyes and away from her hat, something that she had refused to lose over the years, much to the confusion of many of those around her.

The thing was hideous.

Though they suspected that she kept it just to spite them, or rather, a specific young man who had found her as he trudged back to the village after his failed mission. Initially it had been lost to her, something that had seemed to be a touchy subject for the girl, but much to her surprise one morning she awoke to find her 'roommate' gone and the odd little cap laying gently on her belly. The nurses had raised hell about it, apparently he had snuck out of the hospital that very morning before the initial rounds.

She had been late getting to the village gate that day, only getting a fleeting glimpse of orange and blond as he vanished into the heat shimmers of the summer, but she wouldn't have even had that if it hadn't been for the girl currently standing beside her looking a bit sad at the ramen girl's plight.

"What's the matter Aya-chan, you look like poorly re-heated ramen…"

That made the trio shudder, as great as the soup was when first served, when it cooled or was badly reheated it was little more than glue with noodles in it. "It's nothing Kin-chan, I just got a big order to fill all of a sudden. The guy wants like thirteen bowls of miso and one chicken. Address is some apartment building two blocks over, probably some group trying to get their strength up for Naruto-kun's return…"

That made the duo wince, they had only heard whispers from some of the older people about the blonds' treatment when he was younger, but none of it was good, hell, the day he'd left there was dancing in the streets, the populous thrilled that the 'demon brat' had left, giving them a reprieve for three years.

They were no fools. Both had been privy to details about the blond thanks to Orochimaru and knew what he held, and upon meeting the overly happy idiot had to admit they were impressed, to hold up against being hated from within and without, yet coming through it as well as he did was amazing to them. He had had a few people, granted, but in a village that large the number may as well have been zero.

For Naruto, if he had even one then he could survive.

And they were determined to be counted among those that he held dear.

For Kin, it had been quite a bit different. There was little romance beyond what she had imagined in her own head. He had headed to the small infirmary in the tower in order to visit his pink haired teammate and had spotted her getting her head wrapped and had stood at her bedside for a time.

That was it.

Nothing more.

But to her, growing up in Oto, on a team like hers, it had been enough, concerned blue eyes the first thing she had seen upon waking, the first she had ever seen from a boy.

"Ya, well if those little bastards think they're going to get their hands on Shithead then they're in for a disappointment, Kin and me will fuck them up in ways that would make the snake fucker piss himself! Right Kin?"

She gave a curt nod, her fingers twitching towards her weapons pouch. "You know…we may not be able to do anything to the ramen…but if we delivered it…"

Tayuya's grin turned almost demonic, "We could…discourage the little fuckwads…."

Ayame's face lit up at the girls idea. "You would really deliver it for me? That would be such a huge help! Thank you, thank you, thank you…" The duo both lunged forward to clamp their hands over her mouth.

"We get it!" It was a bit unexpected, but their voices together were shockingly lovely, not that a single person in the little ramen bar would attest to it.

People had been junk-punched by the two for less…

"This is the place? Damn…what a shithole…"

"It certainly seems like the kind of place that those who would attack Naruto-kun would hang out at…"

Tayuya gave an almost evil grin, "Think they would mind if I just burned it down right now?"

She gave a soft kick to the taller woman's shin, earning her a glare, "Not unless we know for sure, you know what the council would do to us, their just looking for an excuse to pawn us off on the Uchiha…"

With that thought filling them they adjusted the boxes and moved into the dilapidated building, cringing slightly at the door very nearly falling from the hinges. "What room is it again?"

"Shit…top floor, looks like it's that one we could see from outside…" Kin froze, causing the redhead to almost bowl her over. "What the fuck?"

"Shh! Do you hear that?"

At once the redhead shifted into her professional self, jaw tightening as she dropped into a crouch, the sound of mumbled voices drifting across her ears, long years of tuning herself to sound had made her invaluable at information gathering, and here was a prime example, without even a shred of chakra pushed into her ears she could usually at least make out the number of people in a room a good fifty meters from her.

She normally had to sleep with earplugs…

"Two people…a man and woman , the woman sounds strange, I've never heard an accent quite like it. The man is loud, sounds like he's shocked by something the woman is saying…"

"Let's move in…this could be a setup to capture Ayame…"

Biting back a growl Tayuya hefted the bowls once more and moved up the stairs, knowing that in a pinch boiling soup could be far better than a blade, especially if you were looking to capture…playmates…

The pair stopped just a door away from the last apartment, the two girls rather nervous due to the fact that the whole of the apartment building seemed to be empty save for this apartment, even if it had been a bad building after the destruction from the invasion people were hardly picky, having even re-furbished the Uchiha compound.

At least until the boy had come back two years later and kicked them all out, with the apparent law on his side of course.

However, their nervousness died a bit as they started picking up snippets of the conversation from the final room.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 'GODDESS'!"

Ok, conversation may have been a stretch…

"I really don't see what is so hard to believe, I mean how else would I have gotten in here?"

The man's voice went deadpan, "You are in a ninja village lady…"

She huffed, "How rude! I have a name you know…"

"One you didn't tell me…"

They heard something of a nervous chuckle, "Ah…right, here you are, I am the Goddess Urd, here to grant your request."

"What's with the card?"

"Well I am a professional."

Brown eyes met black, both narrowed in anger, a professional…

"I swear to Kami…if ero-sanin tried to get me a hoo-"

A thunderous crash echoed through the apartment building, "I AM NOT A WHORE!"

Ero-sanin? There was only one person who would say tha-

"Naruto!"

At the sound of two voices he stuck his head from the door, "Nani?"

"NARUTO!"

Boxes flew just like the two bodies before him, almost unconsciously a clone appeared to snatch the ramen from the air as two young woman careened into the blond young man, earning a pained grunt from him and a laugh from the woman in the room.

"Ok…what the hell is going on here? Who are yo-Tayuya-chan? Kin-chan?"

Two sets of eyes met his, barely contained tears weakening his will before they even started talking, it all coming out in a rushed babble.

"Y-your back!"

"You little shit! Why didn't you come see us?"

"We didn't get to say goodbye!"

"Who were you talking to?"

"Where have you been!"

After a moment of them looking at him expectantly he hissed out, "Ouch…"

They looked confused for a moment before realizing how they were positioned, Kin firmly in his lap, almost bridal style, though the weapons pouch at her his was firmly wedged in his groin, at the same time Tayuya was now straddling his broken leg, almost all her weight held by the cast.

At once the two were off the blond, looking apologetic before noticing the a wheelchaired clone holding the boxes they had been delivering.

However, it was the laughter coming from the room that really drew their attention, seeing a truly exotic looking woman currently hunched over, holding her sides as she was reduced to tears.

"T-That was one of the best things I've seen in a hundred years! First thing he gets from his girls isn't a kiss, but a shot to the groin! That's perfect!" She absently whipped at the tears in her eyes, maybe this call wouldn't be so bad, "Ah…I needed that, now then, come on kid, make your wish, you can play with your little girlfriends later."

That made the two girls sputter even as Naruto just laughed, "Oh come on, these two with me? They could do much better!"

Tayuya and Kin looked at his retreating back sadly even as the woman with white hair's eyes narrowed, somehow she couldn't pick up his thoughts, something that originally made her think that the teen was a simpleton, but seeing the almost black aura about him she realized that he had some very strong walls built around him.

Now she was curious, and a curious Urd was a dangerous Urd…

"Come on 'Goddess', let's eat, you're welcome to stay as well you two, there's plenty of ramen!"

The two exchanged looks for a moment before shaking their heads, "We'll take a rain-check Naruto-kun, we need to get back to Ayame with the money." 'And let her know a certain someone is back'

"Yep, you'll just have to spoil us fucking rotten next time. Don't choke on it shithead."

He chuckled softly at the girls before moving into the kitchen, "Well? Let's eat! I've waited three years for this!"

Urd shook her head at the teen's antics, still, she took up a post at the lone chair in the apartment while Naruto pulled a bowl into his lap. "So…your some kind of Goddess…"

"Urd."

"Whatever, and you're here to grant a request. I don't remember asking you for anything, and you still didn't tell me how the hell you got in here."

Taking a moment to hoist a noodle to her nose she gave a careful sniff before shrugging and popping it into her mouth, after a moment of chewing she nodded and moved to get more. "Look, I'm not the best at this crap, it's my sister's gig, I'm just filling in for now. Basically, the system determined that you were worthy, so I'm here to help."

He had already polished off three bowls, noticing that she had gotten done with hers and reached for another, the act making him smirk, no one could resist the noodle-y goodness! "Yes, you said that, now tell me how."

"I'm here to grant you a wish."

He froze, noodles half way to his mouth, "A-A wish!"

She nodded, rather enjoying the meaty broth of the miso ramen, "Yep, anything you want, but only one, and none of that 'I wish for more wishes' crap, that get's old."

"A wish…"

"Yes, stop making me repeat myself, you want money? Done! You want fame, power? Cool with us, you could even wish to destroy the world, thought that's generally frowned on…"

'This can't be real…Baa-chan must have sent her here to mess with me…or Ero-sanin did it to cheer me up after Sakura-' he cut off that chain of thought at he looked to the woman once more, she had something of a thoughtful look on her face.

'Ok…I actually caught that, good, I thought I was slipping…still, it doesn't explain that aura…getting dumped usually is a bit more red and a little green. But this kid…it's black as midnight…'

"Look kid, this is real, no jokes, no set-ups. We don't lie, 'as a rule…', so just tell me what you want so I can get the hell out of here. No offence, but I don't want to waste my time hanging around here with you." She twitched slightly as his aura pulsed slightly, 'Self loathing…maybe I was a bit har-'

Something of a sad smile graced his features, "I wish you would…"

"Um…what was that?"

He let a mirthless laugh echo in the room, "Sorry, pretty dumb of me to say that, I just kinda wish you would, you just seem li-"

His words died in his throat as he turned to look at the dark skinned beauty, her entire body had gone ridged, the symbol on her forehead had gown and elongated slightly down the bridge of her nose. Though it was her eyes that had really caught his attention. All that made her eyes her own was now gone, replaced by glowing pale blue orbs, the gentle light illuminating the darkest corners of the room.

"Um…Urd-san, wh-"

With a silent scream the silver haired woman rose a foot in the air before that power seemed to focus and concentrate onto her forehead before it suddenly lanced out, causing Naruto to tumble out of his chair and scramble away from her as a beam of silvery moonlight lanced out and tore a fist sized hole in his roof. After several long moments it seemed to die down before she settled onto floor one more, blinking owlishly. "Oh…HELL NO!"

He could only watch in shock as she scrambled over to the phone and started dialing, "Yes…Urd…Goddess Second Class, has the request been put through…yes…but….you can-…yes…yes…u-understood…"

"W-W-W-"

"Well. I'm not staying in a dump like this."

"What?"

"Your wish has come true. What do you think was going to happen?"

"M-My wish?"

A somewhat hollow look seems to ghost across her features, "Yes. You wanted me to stay here, wish granted. Thanks for that by the way."

His grin disarmed her, "Well I can make this easy for you, go on back home, or…whatever it is you do, sorry about the trouble."

She could only look at him like he'd sprouted an extra arm, "What?"

He gave a half shrug as he finished the last of the ramen, "I'm not the kind of jerk to make someone stay where they don't want to."

She blinked at him owlishly, "You know I can help right? What about money? I can make potions or en-"

"If I had money they would just charge me more."

Now her confusion deepened, prices were a set thing, weren't they? "Fame?"

"I have enough people after my head."

"Power?"

"I'll earn that on my own."

Now she was almost growling, "There's nothing that you want that I could help you with!"

He looked at her with a bit of surprise before giving her a small, sad smile, the act once more throwing her off her game, "Heh…I think the only thing that I really want…isn't something I can really wish for…but I can hope…"

His aura was now a deep, midnight blue, 'Okay…something's up here, this kid is acting like his life is worse than shit…who the hell is he? Maybe, for once, the system got it right, this kid needs help.' "Well brat I can't go back anymore at any rate, so how about this, you sit here and think of something, I'll go for a walk, never been to this world before…"

Before he had a chance to answer she and seemingly fallen through his chair and floor, a slight wisp of white hair his last, fleeting look of the dark skinned goddess. Letting out a small sigh he stacked the bowls and put them in the sink as best as he could, promising to get to them later on, for now though, he was drained, and needed a nap. Pausing to create more clones to continue their work he replaced himself with one he had close to the bed and levered himself onto the mattress, cursing his leg not for the first time before drifting of the sleep, the afternoon sun warming his body and causing a small smile to form on his lips.

"I swear to you it's true! He's back, and he had some hottie in his room!"

Ayame waved the brunette off, she had known Naruto most of his life, there was no way he would suddenly have a girl in his apartment. When the two had returned to the stand they had been jabbering a mile a minute, shocking the waitress-turned-proprietor, she had never seen them giddy before.

"Look, Kin, I know Naruto, he's never done anything like that before, and I doubt he ever will. You know what his life's been like."

That put a damper on things…

"And what was it like, if you don't mind my asking?"

The three turned sharply to see the woman currently perched on one of the stools, they never saw her enter! And two of them were well trained, rightly feared kunoichi!

"Sorry, welcome to Ichiraku's Ramen, what can I get you?"

"Information."

"Ayame, this is the whore that was with Naruto!" They felt the hairs all over their bodies suddenly go on end, eyes turning back to the dusky skinned woman to see energy dancing in her eyes.

"As a rule…I'm not allowed to kill mortals…but you know, I was never good at following the rules…now, this is a warning, I'm not whore, girl. Now the brat seems to like you two, why, I don't know, and I need information on him if I'm going to complete my mission."

That put the two on edge, Tayuya's hand going back to take hold of her flute even as senbon seemed to appear in Kin's hands, "There's no way were going to let you hurt him bitch!"

She arched an eyebrow at that, "Did I say I was going to hurt him?"

They looked at her in utter confusion, "Well what else could you want with him!"

She smirked, feeling a bit playful, "Well he is kinda cute, maybe I just want to know if he's worth my time…"

She loved watching girls bristle like that.

"Listen here bitch, I don't know who you think you ar-"

The air crackled with power once more, "That's right, you don't know who I am, so I suggest you back off, I could give a damn about you, your problems, or his, I'm just here because I was told to. However, he's being difficult, and I need to know more about him if I want to have any hope of doing this right."

"What do you need to know…we won't help you hurt him…"

Urd smiled at the shortest of them, the brunette, "Nothing damaging, likes, dislikes, his dream, and why the hell he is always grinning like an idiot when he's hurting like that."

That caught the three women off guard, she had noticed that much about him already? "Well…he really likes our ramen…"

"More like 'loves'."

"The shithead is too quick to help people."

Kin grinned, "You didn't mind when it was you." She got the finger for her trouble.

"He'd do just about anything for his friends." That made the three drift into silence, harshly reminded of the day he had returned with those holes in his chest. Well, Kin and Ayame remembered, Tayuya had been unconscious at the time.

"Sounds like a hell of a guy, now what's his dream?"

They didn't take to kindly to the deadpan in her voice, but pushed through it, as one they smirked, "To be Hokage."

She cocked her head at that, "He wants to be a fire's shadow? That's an…interesting dream, how the hell would that work?" The last was said more to herself, but she didn't miss the confused looks on their faces.

"You don't know what the motherfucking Hokage is?"

"No, should I?"

"This is a ninja village, it would be wise to make note of who the leader is…"

A small smile spread across Urd's face, "So he does desire power, I was worried there for a sec, I don't know anyone that doesn't want at least a little power."

Ayame scowled at the woman for a long, hard minute, doing her best not to throw a ladle at her, "Naruto doesn't want to be Hokage for himself!"

"Oh?"

"Like I said, the shithead is too quick to help people, he wants the title to try and protect everyone…fucking stupid if you ask me…"

Now she was intrigued, "And why is that stupid? To most that's admirable…"

The two shot Tayuya a harsh glare, making her give a rather unladylike sniff and turn her head, though she was more pissed at herself. Kin eyed the woman for a time, "Really, it's not out place to say, but he hasn't had the best life, for reasons were not allowed to tell you. If you really want to know, you'll have to talk to Naruto-kun."

Pale purple eyes started to shine in mischief, "Secrets about his past, oh, this is going to be fun…You, soup girl, I'll take one of those..miso-thingys to go!"

The trio watched as a small vial seemed to appear from nowhere, accompanied with a small giggle.

The kunai that shattered it, however, only just missed her left breast. "What the hell! Do you know who I am!"

The three women had to fight the urge to rub their eyes.

No, they weren't seeing things, this woman was floating a foot off the ground.

"What the fuck are you!"

She tossed her hair over one shoulder, looking for all the world like she was brushing them off. "While I shouldn't tell you…you have pissed me off! I am Goddess Second Class Urd, and I'll give you a little tip…want to know why I'm only a second class Goddess?"

They were sweating badly now, they had pissed off a kami! Kin gave a shaky nod.

"Because a First Class Goddess must vow to protect everyone…and I tend to be a bit more…picky…"

Electricity began to crackle in her right hand even as flames began to lick the left, with a quick clap there was a thunderous crash, the shockwave alone knocking the three back and stunning them, giving the woman ample time to pull another vial and smash it on the ground before she sank into the ground once more, a thick purple mist washing over the area.

A few minutes later, none on the street had a memory of the exotic looking woman.

Soft chuckling met her ears as she came through the wall into the apartment once more, the most of the clones still seemed to be working diligently on their various tasks, only a few had apparently stopped to move by some of the windows and watch the chaos unfold on the streets, the closest one to her, one that had been pouring over a scroll looked up with a foxy smirk.

"Not a bad prank, though I would have slipped a paint bomb into the mix, let's the smoke have more of a…lasting quality."

That made the woman smile, "Not a bad idea…not a bad idea at all, I like your style kid. Now, have you thought of anything?"

The blond laughed, "I have thought of a few things…but it doesn't matter." She cocked an eyebrow, "I'm not the boss."

With that he, and the remaining clones all 'poofed' out of existence, momentarily obscuring her vision before she heard a groan from the next room. Poking her head in she saw the young man laying haphazardly on the bed as he rubbed his temples, mumbling something about 'perverted clones'. "So…did you think of anything?"

He gave a half smile, "Kinda, but you're not going to like it…"

She smirked back, "I'll be the judge of that."

His dark chuckle seemed to put the hairs on the back of her neck on end, "Of that I have no doubt. First, we need to see a woman about a house. I'm tired of this…lie."

That caused her brow to rise once more, she had a feeling that muscle was going to get a lot of work in the days to come, 'Living a lie eh…he's going to be fun…', "Then?"

"We train."