Chapter 5-And All Dark Forest Broke Loose

The traveling herbs were gone, and so was Firestar's strength. He had been attacked by three ShadowClan foxes and fought an intense Kung Fu battle with a frog that lived in the small pools along the path to the Moonpool. He arrived at the Moonpool scratched, beaten (by the frog), and very wet. Firestar flopped down in front of the Moonpool, and rapidly drank from it before falling into a deep, deep sleep.

Firestar woke up in StarClan.

"Did I lose a life?" he asked Yellowfang, who was sitting in front of him.

"No," she meowed. Then a blue light surrounded her, and her voice went deep and mysterious as she intoned, "You are seeking your lost Bunny Slippers. You are wondering if we cats of StarClan and our new Super Computer, with its 'Seek & Find' search engine, daily prophecy generator, and over 50 fun-filled games can find it. You come for answers, but answers come at a great cost. Will you pay the price, young Firestar?"

"You have a Super Computer?"

"Of course we do! How do you expect us to watch over our Clanmates? With a telescope?" she meowed in an annoyed tone. A Super Computer suddenly materialized in front of Firestar. "Here it is."

"But how did you pay for it? These things don't come cheap, do they?"

"Long did we save for it, Firestar. Strange it is that in all of eternity they have so few paydays." The blue glow winked out, and Yellowfang's voice resumed its usual grumpy tone. "However, we have our ways of bringing home The Dough; for instance, there is a $5 entrance fee to get into StarClan. That's the reason we sent Cinderheart back – she had lost a nickel on the way up and only had $4.95. We had to send back for the remaining five cents, of course."

"Oh," Firestar blinked at Yellowfang. He looked down at the ground, and saw something pink. His eyes focused on the pink, and the pink became slippers. Moving upward, the slippers became yellowed fur, and yellowed fur became the face of Yellowfang. Every flame-colored hair on end, Firestar adopted a Kung Fu opening stance.

"You betrayed me! It was you, YOU were the one who stole my Bunny Slippers! You're evil, and I hate you!"

"Your view is twisted!"

"No it isn't!"

"Don't start this again, Firestar. I've been watching you, and I'm sick of this kit-like nonsense from you. Besides, you never win this kind of argument. All I have to say is 'No it isn't' and…"

"Yes it is! I mean, no it isn't!" Firestar meowed.

Firestar ignited a red lightsaber. Yellowfang ignited a yellow lightsaber.

"Hey, where did you find a yellow one? I looked all over for one of those to add to my collection, but apparently Yellow Lightsaber #54321 got discontinued after three units."

"Let's just say that I have friends in high places, shall we?" Yellowfang purred.

"Let us begin," the two warriors meowed in unison.

"Aaahh!" yowled Firestar.

"Aaahh!" roared Yellowfang.

Bars of red and yellow energy clashed furiously. Sparks flew. Cheesy effects whizzed. An orchestra and choir formed of StarClan cats assembled and began to play "Duel of the Fates"1 in the background.

"Chaos, Chaos!" sang the choir.

The epic duel began to draw an audience. Soon, thousands of cats stood around the two combatants, and divided themselves into Team Firestar and Team Yellowfang. Even cats from the Dark Forest came to watch the once-in-a-lifetime show.

"Come on, Yellowfang, cream the Kittypet before I do it for you!" Tigestar roared.

"Go, Firestar! Crush Yellowfang!" encouraged Brokenstar. "Seconded!" yowled Darkstripe, who was quickly on the receiving end of Tigerstar's fierce scowl.

"My father betrayed me!" Breezepelt shrieked. He ran all over the field foaming at the mouth before he collapsed in a heap. All the cats in StarClan looked at him in confusion, many wondering how he had gotten there in the first place.

"Sorry, he's still learning," Tigerstar meowed sheepishly.

As the fight continued, Crookedstar and a few other cats had the inspired idea to open the Plot Hole, and sold tickets to the spectacle to cats still on earth. The Super-Computer-Mouse-Pad (With blinking lights!)-Fund doubled that day.

All of a sudden, the scene changes to a dimly-lit chamber with metal walls and smoke coming from vents in the floor. A few observant cats notice the neon-green "Welcome to Bespin"2 sign in the corner.

The clash of lightsabers continued. Both cats struggled to walk upright with a deadly laser-sword clenched between two paws. Firestar swung clumsily at Yellowfang. Yellowfang parried the blow, and darting inside Firestar's defense, singed off a patch of underbelly-fur the size of an oak leaf.

"Ow!"

All of a sudden Lionblaze popped out from a vent, wearing a fedora and swinging in on a cable. The choir/orchestra struck up the Indiana Jones theme.

"Firestar, I am your grandson," Lionblaze announced to the stunned crowd of cats.

"Couldn't you be more original than that? That's something I already knoooowww…"

Firestar's last word was cut off as Lionblaze abruptly stomped on his paw, causing Firestar to drop his lightsaber. Yellowfang lunged him, but in the few seconds before the golden blade touched Firestar, Firestar's own red 'saber fell into a chasm of crackling electricity, and when the explosion died down, Firestar, Yellowfang, and the rest of the cats had returned to the starry field.

A lone tom forcefully made his way to where Firestar and Yellowfang continued to fight, cats scurrying out of his way when they glimpsed the burning determination in his yellow eyes. The fact that he was dragging a loaded shotgun may have helped with that as well. He coolly leveled the shotgun at Firestar, then at Yellowfang. "I yield," they both said, dropping their weapons: Yellowfang's deactivated lightsaber and Firestar's Pointy Stick ™.

"Graystripe? What are you doing here?" Yellowfang asked.

"I have something for Firestar," Graystripe rasped, fixing the visibly uncomfortable Firestar with his stare. "Here are your Bunny Slippers. They are unharmed, except for a tear in the ribbon on the left one."

"Awesome!" said Firestar, reaching for the slippers.

Graystripe growled, and pulled the slippers out of Firestar's reach. "Be patient. Do you have any idea what I went through to find these? Do you? Well, I'll tell you." Graystripe had the rapt attention of every cat in the crowd, as he began to tell his tale.

"It turns out they were stolen by a hawk, who picked them up when you left them at the Gathering place. The hawk grew quite attached to them, and wouldn't give them back even when I got Midnight to talk to him for me. Millie was not very happy when I offered to trade Buzzkit and Platinumkit for the pink darlings, but because you were my friend, I sacrificed my own kits to get the slippers.

Then, when Millie clawed half my ear off, I staged a rescue mission, and nearly died in the attempt. It was Jayfeather who saved me: he patched me up, and lent me Rusty (here he patted the shotgun) to take with me when I went to see you. He even lent me the $35 it takes to get into this place. And here I am. Firestar, you owe me Big Time."

"Well," Firestar meowed a little shakily, "You did swear to do anything in your power to help me find my Bunny Slippers."

"Shut. Up. ThunderClan cats that aren't dead, follow me. We're going home."

Back at the ThunderClan camp

Firestar put a paw on Graystripe's shoulder. "Look, I just want to thank you for getting my slippers back. I couldn't have done it without you, you know."

"No, you couldn't have, but I appreciate you saying so," Graystripe meowed.

"So, are we friends again?"

"Yeah. Sure."

"Great! Now, I need you to lead a patrol on the ShadowClan border. Choose some cats and head out."

"Yes, my Leader! I choose—you. No 'buts,' you're coming along."

A few hours later

"Hello, Russetfur," Firestar said cheerfully. "How's Blackstar doing?"

Russetfur was too worn out to snap at ThunderClan cats. She rasped, "Blackstar's not so good, actually. He lost his Pink Bunny Slippers about a moon ago, and has been sitting vigil for them every night since. We've looked everywhere; I think they must be in StarClan or something."

"You never know," said Graystripe, thinking of a certain grumpy former medicine cat. "Good luck with your search, though."

Author's Note/Review Replies: Thank you to my beta and everyone who read and/or reviewed this fic!

Kay: Thank you for being the first reviewer! I'm so glad you liked it! Sorry we didn't have it all up when you reviewed it. Yah, poor Graystripe! (Maybe I should get him some slippers of his own...)