Part 4: It's Not Real

"How can a girl whose initials are A.M. hate mornings so much?"

"Purely a—*yawn*—coincidence, Reiko."

"So, it wasn't fate that caused your parents to name you after the one thing you hate greeting more than anything else on Earth?"

"Mmm…Nope."

Rei laid back onto her pillow as Minako snuggled down into her side of their shared sleeping bag. It was still very early. The sun had yet to really rise and the telling lightening of the sky cast dim uneven shadows across the tall grasses and hidden profiles of trees. Even one side of their tent was semi-illuminated.

Around 5am Rei had decided that she couldn't and didn't want to go back to sleep and had "insisted" on waking Minako up with her. At the time, Minako hadn't had much reason to complain, but with it now being just a little after 6:30 am, she was beginning to cherish the idea of sleep once again. Rei looked over at her in the semi-darkness of their tent. Minako was on her side snuggled into the wide expanse of fluffy covers between them, one of Rei's arms held captive around her middle.

Rei continued to stare at the blonde, watching her breathe peacefully.

"I love you."

Minako opened one eye first, then the next and found the pair of amethyst eyes that were looking into hers.

"I love you too, Rei."

Minako scooted closer to Rei and wrapped her arms around her so that their faces were mere inches apart. Rei relished the contact and the warm fuzzy feeling that rose up in her chest alongside another very familiar, yet not so appreciated emotion: fear.

She closed her eyes as she felt one of the blonde's hands begin to stroke her back.

"Rei, look at me."

Rei took a deep breath and it came out stilted. Hesitantly, her eyes opened and met those of her girlfriend's.

"Nothing is going to happen."

Rei swallowed.

"…But she's still out there, Mina."

"But she's not going to come after us."

Rei reached out and pulled Minako closer to her, needing to feel her. "How do you know?"

"Usagi defeated her. She's not coming back. It's over."

Rei nodded and leaned her forehead against Minako's.

The uncharacteristic show of weakness had her torn in two places. On one hand, she couldn't help it. They'd all seen more death and disturbing things than most people did in a lifetime of living and yet because they were senshi, they were all expected to go on living as if none of it had affected them.

On the other hand, Rei knew that she was strong. Death had been greedy with her and had coveted Rei's attention from the youngest of ages. In taking her mother, Death had made sure that Rei would never be able to forget it. And Fate, Death's hand and hand partner in crime, had given her, her mother's eyes, her cheekbones, and her hair so that every time Rei looked into a mirror, she was forced to remember just what it was she had lost.

Her grandmother used to say that all gifts given had to come with a measure of loss. After her mother's death, Rei's grandfather had held her and said that she was special and that all things happened for a reason, but all of the pretty words and catchy phrases in the world couldn't help a child understand why the cruelties of life had to happen the way they did. And they certainly hadn't helped her understand any of it.

Even now, laying in her girlfriend's arms, Rei felt like that scared, confused, and angry child she had been. She felt small and fearful. Powerless and lost. Fate and Death, together, had made her an orphan. She no longer had any more parents to lose, but what about her other family? What about grandpa? What about the other senshi and above all, what about her Mina? What if they were taken from her again?

Part of her rebelled at the thought. Part of her said that she wouldn't let that happen, she'd die again before she'd let anyone take them away from her. But the other part of her knew that there was nothing she could do. Death and Fate were powerful forces in the universe. If for any reason they decided to rob her of those she so loved, she would be powerless to stop them like she had been before.

Rei pulled back from Mina, enough to see her face and look into her eyes. They were less alert now, but still entirely focused on Rei across from her.

"I can't lose you again."

Minako blinked and her drowsy expression softened.

"Rei…"

"No, Mina, I just can't."

Rei was shaking her head, a haunted expression in her eyes accompanied by another emotion Minako couldn't quite decipher. Determination maybe? Or maybe fear?

"I wouldn't survive without you. I know it's cliché to say that, but…it's true, I won't. If I ever have to lose you or the others again, I won't even try. It wouldn't be worth it."

It wasn't determination. It wasn't fear. It was defeat.

"Rei…"

Minako moved to roll them over so that she was on top of Rei, staring down at her, holding her.

"This isn't you, it's fear speaking, but you don't have anything to be afraid of anymore. These things that haunt you, they're not real."

"Mina—"

Minako put a finger against Rei's lips to quiet her.

"They're not real, Rei." She repeated firmly, "It's just fear, but you don't have to be afraid anymore. None of us do, it's over."

"But—"

"Shhh, no more talking."

Minako leaned down and pressed her lips to Rei's. After a few kisses, she felt Rei begin to relax beneath her and took advantage of the feeling to relax herself, as well. In that moment, nothing else existed—not their duty, not the princess, not the future, not their fellow senshi, not the world—just the two of them, together.

Makoto emerged from the tent she shared with Ami, buttoning the flap closed behind her as discretely as she could. The blunette needed as much sleep as it would be possible for her to get before they had to leave and return to their normal, hectic lives.

Makoto shivered as she zipped up her hoodie.

It was a chilly morning. The type where eating something hot, like rice cakes in Butamame—even though pork and bean soup wasn't much of a breakfast food—was a comfort to the body as well as the soul. Makoto's teeth started to chatter as she neared the common buildings where the bathrooms and showers were.

It really was cold and if possible, it might even have just gotten a little bit colder.

Makoto pulled her toothbrush out of its holder and ducked into the girls' bathroom.

She hadn't slept much during the night. Neither had Ami. The blue haired genius had begun to have nightmares. Sometimes they were so bad that she thrashed around. Sometimes she'd just murmur in her sleep and wake up sweating. Sometimes she'd wake up screaming. It had severely reduced the quality of rest Ami was getting at night, as well as reducing the amount of sleep Makoto got when Ami stayed the night at her apartment or whenever she slept over at Ami's house. She couldn't blame the girl though.

Dying wasn't a pleasant experience, and remembering it even less so. All of them were traumatized in some way or another by what they'd been through, but it was going to get better and when it did they could all be at peace again. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. It was going to happen, Makoto knew it. After all, she had found peace. It had taken years after her parents' death, but she had finally found it in the arms of a beautiful blue eyed girl and a group of loyal friends…

…What was this?

"Haruka?"

Makoto knelt down on the bathroom floor where Haruka lay sprawled out and unmoving.

"This isn't good…Haruka? Haruka, wake up!"

Makoto shook the tall blonde's shoulder, getting her to stir. There was a nasty bump on one of her temples and a little bit of blood near the hairline there, but other than that, Haruka appeared fine. The blonde opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. As the world began to come into focus, she was more than a little surprised to see a worried looking Makoto hovering over her.

"Makoto?"

Haruka made to sit up, but when the world began to spin again, she found out that was a really, really bad idea.

"Makoto, where am I?"

Uh oh, bad sign, "You're in the bathroom of the Hashiba Campsite. Do you know who you are?"

Haruka gave her as incredulous a look as she felt like managing.

"I didn't hit my head that hard. Oh…god…" Haruka made another earnest attempt to sit up, slower this time, and successfully made it. "My head feels like someone clubbed it with a wrench or something."

Makoto stood up to give the blonde room to breathe. She looked around, green eyes finally settling upon a very inconveniently placed piece of pluming jutting out from the wall across from them. It was far enough from the narrow entrance way to not cause anyone who was paying attention to it any trouble, but still, it was poorly placed.

"Yup, that'll do it."

Haruka looked over to where Makoto was running her fingertips over the edge of the miserable pipe that had clubbed her good.

"You must not have been paying that much attention. It's easy enough to avoid if you just walk around it."

"I didn't even see it." Haruka said, standing slowly, stumbling a couple feet, but mostly managing to keep her balance.

"How much have you had to drink?" Makoto quipped.

"I haven't been drinking. I just…saw something."

"What did you see?"

Haruka took on an odd grin, "Mamoru-chan's doppelganger…just a few years in the future that's all."

Makoto narrowed her eyes, "That's creepy."

"Yeah." Haruka said, a far away look in her eyes, "It was."

End of Story