A/N: This is what happens when I haven't written a story in forever and then get hyper on one of my story-writing days.

Basically, each chapter is a story on its own. They all take place in different Zelda games and generally have nothing to do with each other. Characters might or might not be OOC; depends on how I'm feeling. XD

DISCLAIMER: "The Legend of Zelda" and all rights, including the copyrights of the games, scenario, music and program, reserved by Nintendo. TM and (r) are trademarks of Nintendo. All rights reserved.

-Dying Gets Boring After a While-

~:~ Chapter One – MAH BOI (OoT-verse) ~:~

"You have to stab the potato, Link."

"Err… What?"

Rauru stood before Link and straightened his back, puffing up his chest.

"I said… You have to stab the potato, Link."

Link looked at him as if he was a madman. In the background, Navi was having a party underneath Link's shield.

"No, no; I heard what you said… It's just…" the child-turned-man stuttered for words as he fiddled with his new glove. "…What do you mean by that?"

"What do you mean 'what do you mean by that?'"

"…What do you mean 'what do you mean 'what do you mean by that?''"

"What do you mea—"

"HEY!" Navi suddenly shouted, pulling at Link's ear and making him fall down to the floor in a big heap of pain. "I'm having a party in there, for Nayru's sake! KEEP IT DOWN!" She fluttered back into Link's shield, where she pumped up the music and danced crazily with her nonexistent friends.

"…Yeeeaaah… Umm…" Link slowly got up and rubbed the back of his neck. "…Just why do I have to stab a potato?"

"Not a potato, Link," Rauru corrected wisely, shaking a pudgy finger at him. "The potato."

"…Right. The potato. Why do I have to stab the potato?"

"Because it is your destiny, child."

"But you just told me that I'm not a child anym—"

"SHUSH!" Rauru rushed over to Link with lightning-fast speed and stuffed a finger down Link's throat, causing him to gag.

"ACK! RA— RAU… RU…!"

"Sssh! They will hear you," the Sage of Light ominously whispered into his ear. Link was too occupied with the finger wedged halfway down his throat to listen to him, however.

At that moment, the wise Rauru noticed that Link was helplessly choking and took that as a sign that he was trying to tell him that there was treasure hidden somewhere down there.

The Sage shuffled his finger around.

Link kicked his nuts like no tomorrow.

Rauru laughed heartily.

"HO HO HO HO! MAH BOI!"

Link choked from lack of air and died.

~x~X~x~

A/N: Wasn't that the most epic thing you've ever read?

Let me answer that for you.

No.

(LinkLuver3, this story will have tons of stuff from our conversations. XD)

-Eternal Nocturne-

Chapter One – Completed September 10, 2010