Special thanks to Kat (Puss in Heels) for making me join Fanfic and editing my stories.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Sideswipe was a little aggravated. Not only was there supposed to be a party tomorrow for today's victory with no time to make any more of his special super secret high-grade, but Prowl had done a surprise inspection yesterday morning and confiscated all of his and Sunny's high-grade. Sure they hadn't known about the party, but there was always a need for a little something special with or without some reason to celebrate. Sideswipe had started the process of making more of his amazingly awesome stash, but there wouldn't be enough for tomorrow.
"Stupid Prowl," grumbled Sideswipe.
Sunstreaker looked up at his brother's pacing. He couldn't have helped but hear his twin's mind rant about the walking, talking rule book, it came with being a split-spark twin, but he wasn't in any mood to be stuck with an annoyed Sideswipe at the moment.
"Why don't you-"
"I'm not about to go and beg bots for their stash, Sunny!" exclaimed Sideswipe, while Sunstreaker growled at the use of the hated nickname.
"That wasn't what I was about to-"
"Sure you weren't," said Sideswipe rolling his eyes. Sunstreaker turned back to the video game he had been playing.
Then Sideswipe suddenly stopped right behind Sunstreaker. "Sunny,"- another growl from the yellow mech- "I think I have an idea."
Sunstreaker tensed. Sideswipe's ideas were never good ideas. Sure the odd prank was fun and Jet Judo worked wonders, no matter what Ratchet said. But these were never smart ideas. These ideas usually got them into trouble, lots and lots of trouble. Sunstreaker did not want to miss the party tomorrow.
"No."
"But Sunny you haven't even-"
"I am not helping you. End of story! AND DON'T CALL ME SUNNY!" Sunstreaker started a new game and refused to acknowledge his brother further.
"But what about the high-grade goodness? Sunny? Sunstreaker?" Sideswipe poked at their bond to see if he could get a response that way. Nope, no good.
"Fine, if you're going to leave your only twin brother out in a rut to figure out how to get enough high-grade for tomorrow's party, then it's your guilty conscience you have to deal with," said Sideswipe, hoping to get a response. All he got was a grunt. "Well I'll just be going then… all on my own… to steal back our high-grade stash…from Prowl."
Sunstreaker didn't even look up at Sideswipe's final words. With a sigh, Sideswipe walked out of their shared quarters on his quest for the confiscated high-grade. He kind of liked the sound of that. Sideswipe's Quest for the Confiscated High-Grade: it should be the name of a book. He smirked at his own cleverness.
Now, how to begin his quest? Didn't a quest require an enchanted sword or weapon of some kind? That was what all those human stories said. Sideswipe paused- he had his jetpack. Yes, that would count as his enchanted weapon since he had just had it reconfigured by Wheeljack. Okay so he had his enchanted weapon.
Next on Sideswipe's requirements for his quest was a helper of some kind. Luckily he had just spotted a certain talkative datsun.
"Bluestreak!" Sideswipe walked up to his target with a smirk on his faceplate "Just the mech I was looking for."
Bluestreak jumped at the sound of Sideswipe's voice. "Oh, hi Sideswipe. How are you today? I heard that Prowl got all your high-grade in yesterday's surprise inspections. I hope there is some for tomorrow's party. Have you-"
"Bluestreak, Bluestreak," interrupted Sideswipe; his smirk had grown to a full out evil smile." I was hoping to find you."
"You were? Because if you're thinking of pranking someone than forget it. Prowl has already told me that if I get caught helping you with anything that he'll-"
"Oh, come on Blue," Sideswipe flung one of his arms around the nervous mech's shoulder. "I don't want to prank someone. I was actually wondering if you could tell me where you think Prowl hides all those wonderful things that he holds hostage from all us hard working mechs. I'm sure you know because you spend almost as much time with him as the command staff."
"Well no, Sides I don't know where he takes all the stuff he confiscates from you guys. He's never told me. Probably thinks that you'll ask me, and I'll tell you and then you'll try to steal it. That is what you're trying to do isn't it. Steal back all that high-grade for the party tomorrow. I definitely think Prowl will notice if all that high-grade goes missing because-"
Sideswipe felt the beginnings of a processor ache starting. "Aw come on Bluestreak, you know you want to help me." Sideswipe threw in a charming devil may care smile.
"Bluestreak you are supposed to be reporting for patrol," came the distinct voice of a certain rule loving second in command.
"Oh, hello Prowl," said Bluestreak cheerfully, most likely happy for the escape means from Sideswipe and his ideas of doom. "I guess I did lose track of time talking to Sideswipe. Well I have to go Siders. I hope you find a way to solve your problem."
With that Bluestreak took off down the corridor without a second glance at Sideswipe or Prowl.
"What sort of problem are you having Sideswipe?" asked Prowl, his steady gaze taking in the resident prankster's current posture and body language.
"Oh you know," said Sideswipe thinking quickly "Just trying to figure out a way to make Sunny's personality shine a little brighter." Pleased with his own play on words Sideswipe walked away from a suspicious looking Prowl.
"Well, see that you stay out of trouble."
And Sideswipe made his escape.
Now, he still needed to find a "side-kick." Walking into the rec-room, Sideswipe spotted the next most likely candidate.
"Bumblebee!"
Bumblebee jumped. "Hey Sideswipe, did you just get off shift?"
"Nope I had the earliest shift this morning," Sideswipe slipped into the chair next to the yellow mini-bot.
"Well, I hope you enjoyed the rest of your day off then," said Bumblebee.
"I am. But I have this little problem, you see," he looked up at Bumblebee as innocently as he could.
"Uh, huh," said Bumblebee suspiciously "What do you want?"
"Me? Why would I want anything Bee?"
"You have that: I'm-innocent-but-thinking-of-something-not-so-innocent-to-do look on your face. Usually the one reserved for a game of toss-the-mini-bot."
"Don't worry I don't want to throw you through the air right now."
"That's good to know," said Bumblebee pushing himself up.
"But I was wondering if you would like to put all that wonderful spy knowledge to a charitable cause."
Bumblebee turned to look at Sideswipe. "No."
"What you haven't even heard what that charitable cause is yet!"
"I don't need to. Whatever it is you want me to do, the answer is no. I have a Special Ops meeting in a few breems and I can't miss it," Bumblebee walked toward the rec-room doors before pausing. He turned to look back at Sideswipe "And don't bother Mirage. He is making sure Hound recovers without angering Ratchet."
With the soft sound of the rec-room doors closing behind Bumblebee, Sideswipe once again found himself without his noble "side-kick." Not only did he still have to find someone to help him get his precious high-grade back, but he still needed to get his high-grade back! Sideswipe was running low on options.
The next few bots Sideswipe tried to recruit for his quest told him pretty much the same things Sunstreaker, Bluestreak, and Bumblebee had said. Starting with:
"Trailbreaker, my main mech-"
"I'm not helping you Sideswipe."
"Oh, Wheeljack you wouldn't happen to-"
"Sorry Sideswipe, I'm busy and I'm still in trouble for letting you use all that duct tape two deca-cycles ago."
"Smokescreen-"
"Don't even think about it Sides."
"Ironhide-"
"No."
"Jazz, how would one-"
"Spec Ops meeting, Swipe, gotta run!"
And as he had entered med-bay, Ratchet had thrown his favorite wrench at his head without looking up.
That now left the rest of the mini-bots (except Cliffjumper and Gears who were on duty), the Protectobots, the Aerealbots, and the Dinobots on his list of likely helpers in his quest. Everyone else was either on patrol, had shut him down before he could get a word in edge wise or wouldn't help him in his quest if he were the last mech alive. He and most of the mini-bot population were not on good terms, with the exception of Bumblebee every once in a while. The Aerealbots were fun partners for mischief sometimes, but Fireflight was too clumsy for this, Slingshot was too whiney, and Silverbolt was starting to act more and more like Prowl with each passing day. The Protectobots were too goody-goody to ask for help. And the last mechs on the Ark that Sideswipe wanted involved in this delicate operation were the Dinobots.
"Guess it's just me, myself, and I," sighed Sideswipe.
He made his way to Prowl's office and pressed his audio to the door. He could just barely hear the typing of a keyboard through the metal. If he was in there then there was no way that he would be able to snoop through his stuff and find any possible locations.
Sideswipe was still leaning against Prowl's office door contemplating- a word Sideswipe found amusing, but a little out of his normal vocabulary skills- when a shadow fell over his position. A rather tall shadow. Oh boy.
"Sideswipe, what are you doing outside Prowl's office? You're not about to prank him, are you?"
It was Sideswipe's turn to jump. He turned sharply to face the rather imposing form of the Autobot leader Optimus Prime.
"No, of course not," said Sideswipe quickly.
"Good because I'd hate for you to be in the brig for the party tomorrow." Sideswipe got the impression his leader was smiling behind his facemask.
Then another idea popped into Sideswipe's mind. In a quest, there was usually someone to help the hero and point them in the right direction. Optimus Prime might not be old, but he was wise- he carried the matrix of leadership, of course he was wise. This made him an excellent candidate to help Sideswipe. The problem was that Optimus Prime would most likely not think that this was a worthy cause to grant him some tidbit of wisdom. Meh, it was worth a shot.
"Prime, sir, do you think you could give me some advice?"
"Is this for a prank, Sideswipe?"
"No, for once this isn't for a prank," Sideswipe was getting tired of everyone assuming that all he ever thought about were pranks on his off hours. "Actually, I was wondering if you knew of any ways to talk a certain rule abiding officer into allowing me to have the confiscated high-grade he managed to snatch, unfairly, yesterday for that party you mentioned."
Sideswipe got the impression that if Optimus hadn't had his facemask on, he would have the biggest smile on his lips.
"I think that if a certain rule breaker simply asked the certain officer and promised not to cause any trouble for a while, that Prowl would allow you to have your high-grade for the party tomorrow." Sideswipe swore he caught a twinkle in the Prime's optics.
"You really think so?"
"Well it would certainly boost moral if there was some means of high-grade tomorrow, and it just wouldn't be a party without someone having a hangover the next day."
Sideswipe wasn't sure that this method was the best method. After all, this was Prowl they were talking about, not Jazz.
"You sure this will work?" Sideswipe asked uncertainly.
Optimus would have laughed at the prankster's clear distress at the idea of simply asking Prowl for his high-grade.
"I wouldn't suggest it if I weren't."
Sideswipe turned and knocked on the office door. A quiet "Come in," was heard and the door swooshed open to reveal Prowl sitting behind his desk and a mountain of data-pads neatly stacked in front of him. Sideswipe glanced at Optimus before stepping in.
"What do you want Sideswipe?" asked Prowl, a small frown just barely visible on his otherwise neutral faceplate.
"Hey, listen Prowl, I was just wondering if…well maybe, um…you might consider allowing me to use all that high-grade you got from me yesterday for the party tomorrow. I mean you know how much the mechs here love high-grade with a good party and it would boost morale-" Sideswipe trailed off after his decent impression of Bluestreak.
Prowl's faceplate took on a thoughtful expression. "Is that all?" He finally asked. Sideswipe still looked a little hesitant. "I shall look into the matter."
"Really?" asked Sideswipe, a look of disbelief on his faceplate.
"Certainly," said Prowl "Won't we Optimus, sir?"
"Of course Prowl," said Optimus, whom Sideswipe hadn't noticed slip in behind him.
"Great, well I'll just get going then. Thanks, you guys are awesome." Sideswipe saluted his leader and second in command, then he turned and left the tactician's office.
That had been much easier than he had thought it would be. His quest for his confiscated high-grade complete, Sideswipe headed back to his quarters to kick his brother's aft at a round of video games.
After the door had shut behind Sideswipe, Prowl turned his full attention to his leader. "I never realized that he didn't know we had been using his confiscated high-grade at all the parties we have."
"Well this is Sideswipe we are talking about," said Optimus with a shrug. "Is that why you did that surprise inspection yesterday?"
"Of course, we were running low." With that Prowl walked over to a panel hidden in his office wall and opened it to reveal all the high-grade confiscated from the twins. All of them were labeled: CONFISCATED, FOR CELEBRATIONS ONLY.
Constructive Critizism Please