Imagine

Shane now belonged to heaven, he no longer belonged to Mitchie.

It had only been days since he had been gone, but to her it felt like years. She could never have seen it coming, no one had.

Terrorists had hijacked four planes and killed almost three thousand people; Shane had been one of the innocent people on an early flight home from a concert in Boston.

Mitchie was beside herself, her world was falling down around her and the pain was tearing her apart, she could hardly function and she could barely breathe.

He couldn't be gone; she loved him too much to be able to go on without him in her life. She needed him, she needed him more than she needed air to breathe. It felt like one big nightmare, a dream that she wished she could wake up from. It simply could not be real, it could not be happening.

She'd woken up the past few mornings without him beside her; the bed she shared with him was empty without him in it. His side was made up, untouched and not slept in.

She hadn't been out of her bed since she found out, since she got the phone call from him. He had called her, from the plane, as she got up out of bed that morning.

"Hello."

"Mitchie…" Shane said softly, trailing off.

"Shane, I thought you were on your way home." She said bubbly.

"I was…the plane has been…hijacked."

"What?" She asked, completely taken by surprise, shock taking over her whole body.

"They've taken over the cockpit, the plane is jerky and I don't know if we are going to make it…a flight attendant has been stabbed." He told her, fear evident in his voice.

"Shane, you better be joking around!" She yelled, tears emerging from her eyes instantly, "You better be coming home, you can't leave me alone!" She cried desperately, clutching onto her phone.

"Mitch…I love you, I love you more than you could ever imagine." He said warmly, Mitchie knew he was crying himself now.

Choking on a sob, she closed her eyes, "I love you too."

"I want you to tell everyone how much I love them, that they are all in my thoughts. That I will miss them and will always be watching over them."

"Shane." She whimpered, opening her eyes again, "You promised me you'd be around forever, that you'd love me until the end of time."

"I will love you much longer than that, I promise you that I'll love you forever."

"This can't be it, please tell me that I will see you again. Please tell me that you will be able to hold me again, that you will be able to kiss me, that we can get married."

"We will meet again one day, Mitchie. I promise you that." He told her lovingly, "We will meet again and it will be a new beginning for us, I know we will meet again because it will be written in the stars. We are meant to be together, we were made for each other and will always find our way back to each other. It's destiny."

The tears couldn't stop pouring down her cheeks now, "Shane, you need to know that you are going to be a daddy. I only found out yesterday, I was waiting for you to come home to tell you." She confessed, her heart breaking as he would never know his child, their baby would never meet its father.

"Mitchie." He blubbered, "Are you sure?"

"I went to the doctors and everything. I'm two months along."

"You have no idea how happy that makes me." He assured her.

"I can't do this alone." She bawled, "I cannot raise our child without you, I cannot go on without you."

"You have to, you have to do it for me. Do it for me, please. Find someone, fall in love again and raise our child. You are strong, Mitch. You are the strongest person I know."

She shook her head, "No, I will never ever find anyone else. I could never fall in love with someone else because I love you too much. I know what we have is real Shane, that our love will never die."

"I love you and I love your stubbornness."

"Shane." She wailed, "What do I do without you? I cannot live without you!"

He was silent for a moment, "Raise our daughter without me."

"Daughter?"

"I think we will have a girl, I always wanted to name my daughter Isabelle."

"I will tell her all about you, about who you are, what you mean to me and about all the lives you've touched. She will hear your music and will never go a day without hearing about you and about how much I love you."

"You know how you're the reason that I'm singing?" He asked, quoting the first song that he had ever written for her.

"Yes." She replied, her voice breaking completely.

"You are much more than that, Mitch. You are my reason for existence, you are the reason I was born."

The tears fell harder at this as she took in his words, "I'll never forget you." She promised him, meaning it. She could never forget him; it just wasn't possible. She loved him too much for that.

"I have to go." He murmured into the phone, "Whenever you miss me, just close your eyes. All you have to do is think of me and I'll be there by your side. I promise you I will always be there, watching over you and our child."

Mitchie closed her eyes once more, imagining that Shane was with her right then and there. He would never be far away as her memories would never leave her.

"I love you, Shane."

"I love you too, Mitchie."

That was it; he was gone.

She collapsed on the ground, her crying becoming hysterical.

She would never hear him tell her that he loved her again.

Mitchie was only twenty-one years old; Shane had proposed to her only a month before hand on their five-year anniversary.

Staring down at the beautiful engagement ring on her finger, she let out a sob that ripped through the air. He was really gone and would not be coming home to her.

She was curled up in their bed, on her side of it; she didn't want to even think about messing up his side. Dressed in his shirt, she could smell him; she could feel him all around her in the air, her heart was aching for him.

She had eaten little since her last conversation with him, she felt sick to her stomach at the mere thought of him not being there with her to eat her leftovers. She ate for the baby growing inside of her, she couldn't imagine hurting their child by not eating something.

Her friends and family had come by numerous times, consoling her, crying with her as they had loved Shane too. She shut herself off from them all though, not saying a word to them, she would just cry. It was all she could practically do.

She was broken.

It was torture going on without seeing him whenever she wanted, not being able to see his smile.

He had brought her so much happiness over the years; she was empty without him. She had never ever felt so much pain in her entire life; nothing could ever amount to this.

So many lives had been torn apart, so many people had been affected by what had happened and were in the same position as she was. So many people had lost loved ones.

So many people would miss Shane though. He was the lead singer of an internationally famous band, millions of people knew whom he was and had been touched by him and his music.

She was hanging onto him, yet she was falling into a deep depression. Her heart was beating, yet it was now broken without him there to fix it, to put it back together again.

She'd give anything to be able to see him again.

She'd give anything to be able to hear him say he loved her once more.

…

On the one-year anniversary of the attacks, Mitchie broke down. It had been a few weeks since her last break down.

Time only made things harder.

Isabelle was sleeping in her cot and Mitchie had refused for anyone to come see her as she knew she would be inconsolable today, she needed to be on her own.

It would be harder than any other day for her, it would be hard to deal with everything, to accept that a year had passed and that no miracle would bring Shane back to her.

She was simply lost without him and their daughter was a constant reminder of him. She had his eyes and his dark-curly hair; Mitchie couldn't let him go still because of her.

Isabelle was the last thing she had to connect her to Shane, he would live in their daughter and he would live on in Mitchie's heart. She would never let go of her love for him; it would last much longer than forever. Shane promised her that they'd find each other again; they were destined to be together.

Childbirth was hard, but doing it without Shane was harder. Bringing up their daughter without him was difficult and Mitchie often broke down knowing that Isabelle would never meet her dad, that Shane would never meet his daughter.

She couldn't recall one night where she hadn't dreamt about him over the past year. It was the only way she could be with him in some sense, it was her way to be with him.

Isabelle began crying and Mitchie got off the couch where she had been curled up in a ball.

"Mummy is here." She cooed softly, picking her daughter up in her arms and holding her close to her chest, rocking her gently.

Closing her eyes, Mitchie broke out into a small smile, "Daddy is here too. All you have to do is close your eyes." She said out loud. She knew her daughter wouldn't understand her, but she went on, "If you close your eyes and think of him, he will be here with you."

She remembered his final words to her, and although she couldn't hear them again, she would one day.

He was everything to her; he had been her life and always would be.

Mitchie couldn't imagine not ever having him in her life, she couldn't imagine loving him as much as she did.

She would never forget him.

"I love you, Shane."

"Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace"

My heart goes out to all those affected by the September 11 attacks.

Lest we forget.