A/N: Here's your July update. I'll try my best to get another chapter up soon, but there is that whole job thing I have to worry about. Stupid job. :( Also, if Snape and Dumbledore seem a bit out of character, I apologize. I'd like to think they are a bit less serious now that they're dead.

Year Two, Three

Albus sat there, silently seething, in the headmistress' office, waiting for McGonagall to arrive. He'd been there for ten minutes already and the longer he sat, the angrier he got. Also, the portraits were beginning to stare at him and whisper, making this an all-around uncomfortable experience.

The sound of the door opening behind him provided only slight relief to his irritation, and Albus watched quietly as McGonagall made her way to her desk, shaking her head in disappointment. She sighed as she sat down across from him and examined him sternly over her spectacles. "Well, Mr. Potter, I have to say I am both surprised and disappointed to see you sitting here. Your brother and I have become rather well acquainted over the past three years, as I'm sure you know, but I had hoped it had not be so with you." She shook her head again. "Now, please tell me why it is that you hexed Miss Parkinson."

"I'm sure she deserved it," the portrait of Severus Snape said suddenly. "If that girl is anything like her mother, she could use a good hexing."

"Severus!" McGonagall said, annoyed. "Please keep –."

"Severus is right, Minerva," the portrait of Albus Dumbledore said. "I'm sure young Albus here was provoked." The portrait winked at Albus and turned to face Snape – well, as much as he could, being a portrait and all. "You're right about Miss Parkinson, too. I don't know what it was about that girl; I hated her. Quite a bit, actually."

"Albus!" McGonagall shouted at the portrait, scandalized.

Albus (the live one) was watching this scene unfold with growing fascination. Not only was his irritation about being there gone, but he was now also doing his best to suppress laughter.

"Gentlemen," McGonagall was saying to the portraits. "I appreciate the interest you have in my students, but, really, this is none of your concern. So, please, take no offense when I tell you to kindly butt out." These last words were ground out, and she turned in a frustrated huff back to Albus. "Why did you hex Miss Parkinson?"

Albus took a moment to compose himself, making sure he would not laugh when he spoke, and then he rattled off the list of insults Iris had given to him, Scorpius, and their families. "So, I hexed her," he said finally.

"Told you she deserved it," Snape's portrait muttered.

McGonagall ignored it. "I see. Well, I won't argue that you were not provoked, Mr. Potter, but the rules are in place for a reason. I simply cannot have students running around, casting bat-bogey hexes at each other in the –."

"Bat-bogey hexes?" Snape's portrait interrupted. "Is that what you did? And you're only in second year?"

Albus nodded.

Snape's portrait nodded in approval. "I'm impressed."

"Well, he is a Ravenclaw," Dumbledore's portrait said. "And he's Ginny Weasley's son. I saw her perform quite a few excellent bat-bogey hexes in my time." His eyes twinkled fondly at the memory.

"Will you two shut up?" McGonagall snapped, visibly losing her patience.

"Hmph," Snape's portrait huffed and Dumbledore's stuck his tongue out at her when she turned back around. Albus had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing out loud.

"As I was saying," she said, "there are other options than magic available to you should you have a problem, Mr. Potter. That being said, I'm afraid that, despite what my two esteemed former colleagues may think, I'm going to have to give you detention."

Albus and both former headmasters groaned.

"I'm sorry, but as I said, we have rules for a reason. There would be chaos if I let you run amok hexing each other, not to mention that Mr. Filch would have a heart attack. However, I can assure you that Miss Parkinson will be punished as well once she returns from the hospital wing. Please report to the greenhouses at seven o'clock this evening. Professor Longbottom is in need of some help with his Venomous Tentactula, if I am not mistaken. You may go."

Albus sighed as he stood up. As far as detentions went, he supposed he should be thankful – Neville wouldn't be too hard on him, he was certain of that – but it was the principle of the thing.

"Why is it," he heard McGonagall snap as he was about to close the door behind him, "that you two cannot mind your own business when I'm with my students?"

"We like to be difficult," he heard Snape's portrait reply. With a grin, he started to close the door, but stopped when he heard what was said next.

"Minerva," Dumbledore's portrait said, sounding both serious and urgent all of a sudden, "what are you doing to quell the rumblings in the lake?"

Rumblings in the lake? Albus thought curiously. What is he talking about?

He heard McGonagall sigh. "How did you know about that?"

"Minerva," the portrait replied, sounding like he was talking to a slow child, "I can move around through the portraits, you know, and people are talking. I can also see the bloody lake from here. The squid is going berserk. How could I not know?"

McGonagall sighed again. "I asked Myrtle to speak with them the next time she visits, but –."

"Moaning Myrtle?" Snape's portrait said, joining the conversation. "You're mad if you think that will do you any good. Also, perhaps we should continue this conversation a bit later, when curious ears aren't lurking about. I see Mr. Potter has failed to shut the door properly."

Albus flushed and quickly shut the door, practically running down the stairs in his haste to escape further punishment and cursing himself for not remembering that Snape's portrait could see the door. He slowed his pace when he reached the bottom so as not to attract unwanted attention and trudged his way back up to Ravenclaw Tower, wondering if he'd just cost his house more points.

He paused outside the panel that would reveal the door, and knocked with the eagle knocker. It's beak opened.

"You cannot see me

So don't even try.

If you can perceive me

You have reason to cry.

What am I?" the voice asked.

Albus thought for a moment. "An invisibility cloak?"

"I am sorry, but that is incorrect."

Bollocks, he thought. Can this day get any worse?

As it turned out, it very well could. Two hours, and several more wrong answers later, he was still in the corridor outside the common room.

"Bloody hell," he muttered, checking his watch. It was almost time for dinner. "Well, at least that's something."

Back downstairs he was clapped on the shoulder by several students and given a chorus of "Well done"s, "She had it coming"s, and "Bloody brilliant"s. Feeling slightly better, he sat down at the Ravenclaw table and waited for his friends.

"Finally," he said when Scorpius and Pol sat down.

"Where have you been all afternoon?" Scorpius asked. "McGonagall didn't keep you all that time, did she?"

Albus shook his head. "I was only there about a half hour. I couldn't figure out the bloody answer to the bloody question, so I was in the bloody corridor for two bloody hours."

Scorpius frowned, presumably at his overuse of the word "bloody," but also probably because the answer was an obvious one. "It's thestral."

Albus groaned. "Of course it is! Merlin, I'm an idiot."

"What was your answer?" Pol asked.

"Invisibility cloak," Albus sighed.

Pol and Scorpius looked at each other, confused, and then back at him. "Why would you think that?" Scorpius asked.

"You can't see invisibility cloaks!" Albus said defensively.

"Yes, but you can't EVER see them," Pol pointed out.

"And why would an invisibility cloak make you cry?" Scorpius asked.

"I don't know! People use them for pranking, right? So what if the prank made you cry? That's a good reason, isn't it?" His friends shook their heads and he sighed. "Oh well."

"So what did McGonagall say?" Scorpius asked.

"She said that she didn't blame me, really, but because I broke the rules, she had to give me detention."

"Iris is getting detention too, right?" Pol asked.

Albus nodded. "Once Madam Pomfrey fixes her, yes."

"What do you have to do?" Scorpius said.

"Help Neville with his Venomous Tentactula."

"Oh, that's not so bad," Pol said.

"Except for the Venomous Tentactula part," Scorpius said.

"True," he conceded.

"Hey, little brother." James suddenly appeared in the seat next to him. "Hello, boys," he said to the others.

"Hey, James," they all said together.

"I heard you took a trip to McGonagall's office today," James said.

"Albus nodded."

"What did you do?"

"I hexed Iris Parkinson," he said.

"Well done. Which hex?"

"Bat-bogey." Albus grinned.

James grinned as well. "Mum would be proud."

"Hey, James, do Snape and Dumbledore's portraits argue with her?" he asked.

James laughed. "Oh, yes. I love getting sent up there because I love watching them all fight. Snape and Dumbledore always side with the students. It's bloody hilarious."

"Right, because I almost choked trying not to laugh at her."

"Good thing you didn't. I did my first time, and she took away fifty points."

"Fifty!"

James nodded. "She doesn't like to be laughed at." He grinned at the memory. "Well, I'm famished," he said getting up, "so if you all will excuse me, I'm going to have dinner." He patted Albus on the back. "Enjoy your meals, boys."

They watched him walk away and Albus turned to Scorpius. "There's something on my back, isn't there?"

Scorpius leaned back to check an Albus and Pol heard a choked laugh.

He groaned. "Get it off, will you?"

Scorpius had to find his wand and use an un-sticking charm to get it loose. When he saw what it said, Albus frowned. "Levicorpus me and see what happens?"

"That doesn't sound promising," Pol said.

"What does Levicorpus do?" Albus asked.

"I don't know. Someone cast it and find out," Scorpius suggested.

"Er, I'll pass," Albus said, crumpling the paper. "I've had enough unauthorized spell-casting today, I think. Damn!" The ball of paper was now stuck to his hand. He looked at Scorpius. "Help, please?"

Laughing, Scorpius recast the un-sticking charm and incinerated the paper.

"Ugh." Albus put his head down on the table. "Where's Rose at?"

"I think she said something about the library," Pol said.

"Oh."

"If it makes you feel better, Al," Scorpius said, "I have some good news."

"What is it?"

"Sit up and eat something and I'll tell you."

Albus sighed and straightened up. Grabbing a roll, he asked, "Okay, what is it?"

"I thought about your offer and I wrote Father about it. I got an owl from him this afternoon and he's decided to sacrifice his Christmas for mine."

Albus stared at Scorpius blankly.

"I'm coming to your house for the holiday," Scorpius said, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Oh!" Albus grinned, face lighting up. "Brilliant!"

Scorpius rolled his eyes. "You should really eat dinner. Even if it is with Neville, detention isn't going to be easy."

Albus sighed. He hated it when Scorpius was right. Then he remembered something. "Oh, hey, has the Giant Squid been acting odd lately?"

The other two stared at him. "Because it usually acts normally?" Scorpius asked.

Albus rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. Has it been acting even odder lately?"

"Not that I've noticed," Scorpius said.

"It's been a bit more active, perhaps, especially for winter, but I don't think that qualifies as odd," Pol agreed.

Albus pondered this, chewing absently. "What else lives in the lake?"

"I don't know. Grindylows, maybe? Why the sudden interest in the lake?" Scorpius asked.

Albus shrugged. "Just curious." But he frowned slightly. He was definitely going to ask Neville – no, he couldn't do that. Damn, he thought. He was sure Neville would know, but he was also sure Neville wouldn't tell him. If it was causing the staff concern – whatever it was – then students probably weren't supposed to know about it, and he would wonder how Albus knew, or why he was asking about it. And he was also a much better at keeping secrets than Hagrid. He might be able to get a few details, but – Hagrid. He could ask –.

No, he thought resolutely. He couldn't ask Hagrid, either. Both he and Neville would ask too many questions. He knew he couldn't ask a professor about this.

Mum and Dad might know, he thought suddenly. And they wouldn't care if I was asking questions about the lake. Yes, when he got home for Christmas, he would –.

"You're looking terribly pensive," Scorpius commented. "What are you thinking about so intently?"

Albus shook his head. "Just about detention," he lied. He didn't know why he wasn't sharing with Scorpius and Pol, but he just didn't want to quite yet. It was probably nothing, anyway. Yes, and a nargle will fly out of my arse, he thought.

Scorpius gave an "Ah," of sympathy and the boys continued their meal in silence.