Hey all! So this kinda goes off of Better to Live Vicariously, but not really. It only has an underlaying continuation of the plot from the other oneshot. Yes, it can be read separately and please, continue to read this!

No, I don't own Degrassi...rats.

He'd told her it was ok, so maybe it would be alright if she just indulged her mind a bit.

Clare sat down at the computer and stared at the blank document. "It's ok," she told herself. "This is just a part of being who I am. Writing will keep me whole."

With a secret smile she pulled Eli's headphones over her ears and blasted the music from the CD Eli had given her. She liked his songs because they were honest. She hoped they might spark something within her mind.

Her mother let him in. He was going to surprise her in her room with a new CD full of songs he figured she'd like and her own pair of headphones. When he reached her room he opened the door slowly, finding her asleep on her arms, the laptop open in front of her, a word document filled with words glaring back at him.

He walked into the room and smiled at her sleeping face, brushing hair away from her cheek and pressed a kiss to it. She stirred slightly, but fell back asleep almost instantly. Eli smirked and turned to the story displayed on the monitor, setting Clare's surprises on the table beside her head.

Carefully, Eli slipped the laptop out from under Clare's head, picked her and it up and settled into her bed, folding Clare into his side as he set the laptop on his knees to read through what she had written.

He looked into my eyes and shook his head. "No, I can't do this, I can't hurt you. And if I was with you I would be hurting you. You deserve better than this."

"No," I insisted. "Eli, this was supposed to happen. You were supposed to find me." I grabbed his hands tightly in mine. "I believe that's true."

He looked into my eyes, the green depths even more troubled than normal. "Clare," he whispered, caressing my face gently with one of his hands. I closed my eyes when he touched me, silently begging for him to touch me more.

I mumbled something incoherent, opening my eyes to see him right by my face, his head cocked to the left as if to kiss me. I sucked in a quick breath in anticipation, but was sorely disappointed when he kissed my cheek.

I looked up at him. "Why?"

He said nothing, simply choosing to let his eyes wander to the ring on my hand. I made a noise in my throat that was half-snort, half-groan, and ripped the infuriating piece of metal from my finger. "Purity ring be damned, Eli! I want you to kiss me right n—" I was cut off by Eli's lips on mine.

As tense as I was while talking to him, at the first contact of our lips I swooned, my legs nearly falling out from under me. He caught me easily, never letting go of my lips.

When his tongue peeked out from under his lips to caress my bottom lip I nearly died. Being this intimate with Eli was something that I had wanted for a long time.

When he pushed me onto the bed I didn't fight him. Hell, this was what I'd wanted for the longest time. I opened up myself to him, and he took complete control over my mind and body. Everything was Eli, everything I smelled, touched, tasted. He was everywhere at once.

His lips hungrily trailed down my neck, nipping and sucking at the skin, and when he latched on to a sweet spot I cried out in pain and pleasure. It felt good, oh, so good, and I wanted him to bite me more, to kiss me more, to touch me all over my body.

He bit into my neck again and my body rose to meet his involuntarily. My chest pressed against his as our hips brushed together, causing fire to spread through my veins. My eyes opened and I gasped, shocked and elated at the new sensations trailing through my body at the slightest touch.

"Eli," I gasped.

She stirred beside him and looked up slowly, not understanding what was going on until she'd really woken up. When she saw the laptop sitting on Eli's lap she sprang into action, shutting the laptop and rushing to put it on the desk, picking up the headphones that must have fallen off of her head when she fell asleep, she thought.

When she turned back to face him she wore a look of apprehension. "How much did you see?" she stuttered out.

"Enough." His eyes were calculating.

She felt raw, knowing he'd seen the most intimate thoughts in her mind. Because that was what she'd been wondering lately, what it would feel like to be with Eli.

"Clare, why do you look like you're afraid?"

"Eli, those are my deepest thoughts, the reason I'm so messed up!"

"Clare!" He walked towards her and cupped her face in his hands.

Her eyes searched his as if looking for something. "I'm scared."

Eli caressed her face gently. "Don't be scared. If that's how you feel then that's normal. I'd be more afraid if you didn't feel like that."

She laughed shortly. "Great. So now I'm just like every other teenager in the world."

Eli smirked and shook his head. "Not really."

Clare was skeptical. "Oh? How not?"

"You haven't jumped off the deep end. Hell, you haven't even kissed me of your own accord."

Clare smirked back. "I never thought I had to kiss you. It always seemed like it was your job to instigate the kissing, ye-who-knows-much-about-kissing."

Eli smirked back at that, a smirk that verged on a smile, and leaned down to press his lips to hers. He pulled back after one short kiss. "Obviously I have a lot to teach you still."

What did you think? I personally love that last line, "Obviously I have a lot to teach you still." Haha, classic Eli.

Em =]