Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games! XP

AN:There should be one of these things for Hunger Games, I think.

CONTAINS MOCKINGAY SPOILERS! IF YOU HAVE NOT YET READ MOCKINGJAY DON'T READ THIS UNLESS YOU DON'T MIND PLOT POINTS BEING REVEALED!

Ok, for anyone who's familiar with Fullmetal Alchemist…there should be a crack-crossover with this. Ed as Katniss, Al as Prim, Trisha as Katniss's mom, Nina as Rue, Scar (or Izumi…lol) as Haymitch, Envy as Johanna (Johanna even dresses as a tree XD), Greed as Finnick, Bradley as Snow, and Lust as Lavinia. Ha.

Now I really do wonder if Coin is Team Gale or Team Peeta XD

I will not ask Rue if she is Prim's doppelganger from a parallel universe.

I will not ask Peeta to bake some marijuana-riddled "magic brownies."

I will not tell Octavia her green skin makes her look like The Wicked Witch Of The West.

Or like an alien.

I will not set up Effie and Haymitch on a blind date.

President Coin is not Big Brother.

I will not make incredibly lame puns and tell Foxface, while laughing, that she is "foxy".

Snow is not the Roman emperor.

Finnick's trident is not "the disco stick."

Gale does not want to be called a third wheel.

Katniss the "Mockingjay" is not "pretty bird."

I will not tell Snow he has a plastic surgery addiction and that his habits have been scientifically proven to be damaging to his health.

I will not ask Coin "are you Team Peeta or team Gale?"

I will not send health inspectors to Greasy Sae's place.

I will not put tiny, cute pet clothes on Buttercup.

Or on the mutts.

I will not say that Snow and Coin are a perfect match.

Cato is not "Cat", Katniss is not "Kat", and neither want to have "cute" cat-ear headbands put on them.

I will not tell Cato to try and meditate the bad feelings away.

Johanna is not a tree-hugging hippie.

Haymitch does not wish to hear the CD player singing "they tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no, no, no" over and over again.

The underwater land surrounding Panem is not Atlantis.

There are not mermaids there, either.

And for the record, Finnick is not secretly a merman.

"The Hanging Tree" does not need a rap remix.

I will not show Katniss Gale/Peeta fanfiction.

I will not tell Katniss there's a "special, people-flavored" reason why the stew in the Capitol tastes so good.

I will not tell Katniss and Peeta's children that Gale is stalking them out of spite and jealousy.

I will not start a zombie empire ruled by zombies of Snow and Coin.

I will not tell Snow that Katniss is his daughter.

Cinna does not want to hear that "fashion is a frivolous waste of time and resources."

The Games are not a "cool new reality show."

I will not put a laugh track on the televised version of the Games.

I will not tell Gale and Peeta that Katniss is going to become a nun.

I will not be "Team Gale and Peeta Are Part of Katniss's Harem."

The Mockingjay pin is not "Katniss's bling bling."

I will not steal bread from District 13 and blame it on ghosts of past tributes.

Or on Buttercup.

Prim looked at the things on the piece of paper she had found in her District 13 quarters. They were all so strange and silly...as if someone hadn't been serious when they came up with it.

She had always thought "The Hanging Tree" was missing a special something...

And Finnick was from District 4, and you never know where mermaids will pop up these days in Panem...Whatever a "Roman emperor" was, Snow could very well have been one. These things, Prim decided, looked kind of fun.

And that was the day when Primrose Everdeen made District 13 lose its rigid conformity.