*Hey all! So, this is just a songfic I wrote to the song "How To Save A Life" by the Fray. This takes place after Greece's Pieces sometime, and it's Gwen's POV. Please Enjoy!*
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
I walked around the plane aimlessly, trying to make sense of all this. Oh, why did I let my stupid feelings get involved in this? I walked into the common area to see I wasn't the only one losing sleep. Courtney was there, pacing the length of the room. I silently entered, but my boots apparently gave away my position. Courtney's tan, little tear-stained face turned to look at me, until she saw it was me, of course. I sat down on a barrel and stared at her for a moment.
"Sit?" I asked eagerly. She folded her arms and continued pacing. She was about to walk out of the room, which is when I took action. "I just. Want to talk." I said, splitting it up into two sentences. I grabbed her shoulder, and she smacked my hand away before walking over and sitting on a crate that was somehow supposed to pass as a chair.
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
She wiped her face of the tears that were steadily still streaming down it, and looked at me. Like me, she'd never let the enemy know she was in a moment of weakness. I think she may have even smiled a bit I just stared at her for a second, until I began speaking.
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
"Look, Court. This is crazy. We were friends, and we were enjoying it, remember? Making fun of Heather's obvious infatuation with Alejandro, laughing at the poor misfortune of Cody when Sierra would pick him up and carry him around like an old blankie," I leaned in closer to her, and spoke quieter, as she wasn't looking at me anymore. "Filling Heather's drink with itching powder?" I suggested the prank we had pulled a few days ago. She sniffled and then I heard her giggle, obviously recalling the same memory I was. Then, she flipped the hair that was covering her profile off her face and wrinkled up her face again.
"But now..." She trailed off, her cold, cold voice that was just a couple days ago talking to me and practically telling me her life story now sunk deep into my heart, and the bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that I've had all day just got worse.
"But now it's not the same." I said quietly.
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
I got nothing but silence from her, not even a sniffle of stifled cry. Somewhere in between feeling incredibly afraid, and feeling full of guilt, I contemplating just getting up and leaving. But then I realized I couldn't just get up and leave her again. It'd be too painful for the both of us. So I sat there with her in a silence that felt nothing. No tension, no awkwardness, no anger. it was just silent. And it was killing me.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
"I don't know exactly what happened, Court, but somehow, we just let a guy wedge this huge hole into what we had." I said softly. "And right now, I would do anything to stop you from feeling like the worthless, cheated, unwanted piece of crap you feel like, if I knew how to save you from that. But I really don't know at this point whether there's anything I can really do." I spoke the most honest and from the heart words that ever, and would probably ever come out of my teal mouth. I do feel horrible, and we did let a guy cause all of this, and I would do anything to stop her pain, because I know what it feels like. And right now, I don't know what to do.
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
"Courtney, you and I know that I know you better than anyone on this plane..." I started, but was unsure of how to finish it, so I just let in resonate in the stale air surrounding our forms. Something must've triggered in her mind, because She finally looked at me. I looked into her teary onyx eyes and saw something. I saw what was there when we used to talk, that little glint in her eye whenever you would ask her about how she single-handedly one first prize for her school in the fifth annual national debate team debate, or when she would talk about how her mom and dad actually came home before she had to go to sleep on her fifth birthday, and they had brought with them a brand-new two wheeler bicycle. It gave me hope, so I pulled out all the stops.
"G-go on. I'm listen-listening." She stammered. I dug through the pocket of my miniskirt and found a crumpled up tissue that I promptly. She didn't say a word as she dried her face then grasped it tightly within a fist. I knew it was my turn to talk.
"I'm guilty. I did this. I kissed your boyfriend while he was still your boyfriend, and now you hate me, I get it." I declared. Okay, now I've just got to tell her what I've been wanting to tell her. "But Courtney, you are my best friend on this show, even if I'm not yours anymore. But I just...I'm really trying here. I don't want you to feel like crap anymore because this is not your fault I want our happy-go-lucky, let's-kill-Heather-then-laugh-at-Cody friendship back." I said with a long, heavy sigh escaping my lips all the while. All I can do now is pray that she heard me.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Minutes passed without a word from Courtney. It's over. I guess I should just give up, count my losses, and hope Chris shows me how to open the parachute before tossing me out of the plane. I sighed once more before getting up. I was about to just walk away as painful as it was, but then, I felt a death-grip on my wrist. I turned to look at Courtney.
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
"You're right, this is all your fault!" She yelled angrily.
"Court, I know," I said, trying to counteract her anger with peace. But it wasn't working, she just kept screaming to the point where I didn't even know if she was saying anything coherent. Finally, I stopped her by grabbing her flailing forearm. She immediatley stopped screaming and we looked each other dead in the eyes.
"I didn't do this to screw with you. Look, I'm going to walk out that door, and heck, I might even throw myself off the plane after that, but I'm not going to bother you anymore, and I promise we won't ever be friends again." I assured her expressionless face. Those last eight words cut a long, deep scar into my heart that won't even begin to heal. I didn't move and she didn't move, I simply kept my grip on her wrist and stared at her while she stared back. By now, she's either going to do one of two things: forgive me, or throw me off the plane in a fit of rage because of me even bringing up the possibility of forgiveness. I am, yet again, wondering what possessed me to have this conversation with her.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
She looked at me for a moment, then her face once again filled with the anger that viewers knew so well. She lifted her hand that wasn't in my grasp and did something I never knew Courtney to do: she slapped me across the face. Did it hurt? Yes. I felt all of her hurt, feelings of worthlessness, anger, and sadness all in that slap. I dropped her hand and watched it limply fall to her stunned side. Apparently, she was surprised that she had done that herself.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
I once more did my famous sigh before finally giving up. There was no forgiveness coming, and I didn't deserve it. At least she knows I'd do anything to take the hurt from her. I turned on my heel and walked straight to the entryway that I came in through. I was about to exit when I heard the patter of her feet quickly making her way over to me. Her face had once again filled with tears as she looked at me, but she yet again had no discernible expression present.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
"Court, if you're going to slap me again-" I started, but then choked due to the huge lump in my throat finally dissolving into the most tears I've ever cried at the sam time. I looked at her also tear-stained face, hoping with everything inside of me that God had let Courtney hear me.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
She closed her eyes and hung her head for a second. Then she briefly shook her head a bit.
"Oh, just-" She began in an irritated tone of voice. I could see that gleam in her eye. That one that was giving me hope before. It was now fully back with a vengeance. "Just, just" She stammered. Then, she gave up and bended her arms on either side of me, hugging me. My tears multiplied as I, too, hugged her close.
"Thank you." I whispered to no one in particular.
"I hate you." She muttered. "But as annoying as it is, you're right. You're my best friend, and, and...I don't know, I just love you either way." She confirmed. We stood there wrapped in each other's embrace for a length of time that I couldn't even begin to elaborate.
"RATINGS!" an all too familiar voice sang out at the top of his annoying host guy lungs. Courtney and I quickly parted from each other. I reached into my pockets and pulled out two packets of ketchup. I pressed one into her palm.
"Ready?" I asked in a weak voice. She looked at me with the gleam in her eyes, that even though was only gone for a few hours, I missed more than even I could ever know. We smiled deviously at each other before ripping the top off of the little packages and squirting them right at Chris. His face was soon drenched in red tomato goodness.
"Get a load of that!" I said to the camera and pointed it at Chris, who was now in full-on panic mode.
"Say cheese, Chris!" Courtney taunted. Man, I missed that girl. We laughed at the same time before I chimed in.
"Yeah, or Ketchup!"
*So, I really want to know what you think. Did you like it? Or was it just stupid? Please review!*