A/N: For once not even I know, don't bother asking. Someone made the joke and then boom.

"You fucking take that back."

Green had a history of teasing Ethan whenever the opportunity presented itself, which tended to be any second of any day he was at the condo. It was, he claimed, his way of grooming Ethan for the life of fame and fortune that being champion would afford him – a life that would be his someday, once Red got bored enough to step down permanently, which in turn would come only after Green finally conceded that that time Ethan won a gym badge from him hadn't just been a fluke or a lack of effort on his part.

Ethan had slowly gained tougher and tougher skin as a result. As a child he had only been on the dealing end of insults, and even that was far and few between since until around third grade, Lyra's general reaction to even being called "stupid" was to run crying to one of their moms and tell on him. Exposure to Silver's nasty vocabulary had helped little, because Silver tended to be above verbal barbs, and when he did throw insults they were the over the top lines he'd learned from the executives, which tended to produce the exact opposite of the desired effects.

Just the same there were lines Ethan knew – both from TV and from when his negative reaction was outright rage, as opposed to gut frustration – that certain lines were not to be crossed when it came to insults.

"Lance fucked your mom last night" was far enough over that line that the only things keeping Ethan from outright punching Green over it were uncertainty over whether a physical or pokemon battle was more appropriate retribution, and the firsthand knowledge that the gym leader could punch harder than him any day.

"I said you fucking take that back, I swear Green that isn't fucking funny."

"It wasn't meant to be," he said far more calmly than anyone with two fists and, theoretically, a high-level Typhlosion pointed at them should have. "I'm not trying to rip on you. I just thought you deserved to know."

"And how the hell would you know?!"

"Because Lance isn't the best at keeping his mouth shut."

Ethan stared at him incredulously, not quite putting his fists down, his teeth gritted as he nodded roughly for Green to continue.

"Red and I went up there this morning. We had to deliver a couple things to his place." He didn't say what things, but Ethan knew from overhearing Leaf's ranting two days earlier that it was a check for the damage their lot had caused, along with a formal apology, over the events of the holiday bash three weeks earlier. That knowledge gave him a slight chuckle, even if it did subtly make the last couple of bruises Green had left on him that same night seem to flare up for a second. "I saw your mom leaving as we landed. I mean, it might have been Lyra's. I get all of your parents mixed up. It was one of yours, for sure."

"That doesn't mean she..." Ethan made a face, unable to actually say it. It wasn't like his mom hadn't had boyfriends since he was old enough to notice, but that was awful enough to think about without bringing Lance into it.

"Dude, I get it. I know you hate Lance. I'll spare you the details, but let me just assure you that there is no doubt as to why she was there."

Ethan's rage filled scream rang out well beyond the kitchen he'd been cornered in, reverberating through the whole house and followed by a slam of the sliding glass door so strong that it bounced off its track as he stormed outside.

Leaf finally stepped around the corner after he'd already begun laying into one of the training targets on the other side of the yard. The concern wore heavy on her face as she stepped up to Green, putting an arm around his waist, and the pair watched quietly for most of a minute while Ethan called out his team and began calling out attacks.

"I'm still not sure I approve of your training methods," she murmured, leaning on his shoulder. "This just seems a bit mean. More than a bit, really."

"I need him to be serious about taking Lance down. He'll never get that champion spot if he's pulling the laid back shit he's been doing lately. Silver's progressing faster than him lately."

Leaf nodded and sighed. "Just the same, you might want to warn Lance. I'm not entirely sure he'll survive the encounter, otherwise."

When Green's response to the suggestion was to grin dreamily, she finally gave him a whap upside the head.

"Should have figured this was just your stupid attempt at revenge," she growled, shaking her head and stomping out of the kitchen. "I won't tell him you're lying, but only because I like you better alive. You better get to cooking dinner though, before I change my mind."

Green knew better than to argue with his girlfriend, especially because he knew it was only a matter of time before he was in trouble with Red again over the whole ordeal, so he took one last appreciative glance at the bonfire Ethan was rapidly turning the training yard into and then turned to check the fridge.