Wow, this thing's old. I was looking through my computor, found this, and thought "Why not?". I wrote this YEARS ago. Let's just hope I've gotten better since then. ^^;;

I watch him every day. The fire that saved our clan. The fire that warmed my heart in a way I didn't think possible.

When I took my oath as a medicine cat, I swore I would never have a mate or kits. I was prepared for that, until he came to the Clan and tested my loyalty to an oath that seemed all too easy to keep at the time.

He visited me every day and, though it shouldn't have, it made me happy. As a medicine cat, I am almost ashamed to admit how I would wake up early to see him before he left for dawn patrol; how I wished I could go as well, if only to be closer to him. I shouldn't have looked forward to seeing him every night as I curled up in my lonely nest. But I did.

It's hard to say, but if I had not died so suddenly I'm sure both of our loyalties would have been tested severely. It is, of course, taboo for a medicine cat to have a mate, especially not the beautiful kits we could have had. I thought about them often. I could imagine every detail of the kits he made me want. How they would resemble him rather than myself; how they would have his eyes; how they each would be just as wonderful as he was...

When I joined StarClan it almost broke my heart in two, seeing him mourn for me. I wanted, and still do, for him to be happy. That's why I was overjoyed when he fell in love again. Sanstorm is, after all, an attractive she-cat, a strong warrior, and capable of both becoming his mate and bearing his kits.

And I only felt a bit jealous.

I still visit him in his dreams, of course; watch over him; protect him with everything in my power. Because even if he were to forget me, I would still be here, still watch over him. Still be in love with him.