.

PARADOX

A Metal Sonic Drabble

by

Snodin

.

Set somewhere between "Sonic CD" and "Sonic Heroes"

.

He was flawless in just about every way. Titanium alloy exterior painted cobalt blue, an airplane thruster on his back for maximum prepulsion, daggers for fingers that could slice you in two, and the fastest download database a machine could ever hope for. Truly, Metal Sonic was Dr. Eggman's greatest creation, and proudest achievement.

Upon polishing up the Sonic lookalike, the mad doctor couldn't help but gloat at his own genius. "He is like that meddlesome hedgehog in practically every way, except he obeys ME!"

A flicker of red sparked in the robot's eyes. "I. OBEY."

"Yes, Metal!" grinned the perfectly circular scientist. "I have one simple task for you: Find Sonic the Hedgehog, and challenge him to the ultimate race!"

"RACE. SONIC. THE HEDGEHOG."

"Prove to him that you are the fastest thing alive!"

"METAL. IS. THE FASTEST. THING. ALIVE."

"Yes, yes! Now go, fulfill your destiny!"

Again the robot's eyes burned red as his thrusters kicked into overdrive. He literally flew out of the doctor's lab with the velocity of a fighter jet, causing everything (including Eggman himself) to be knocked off kilter in the wake of his wind trail.

Lying on his back, the mad doctor rolled with laughter. "Ho-ho! That fool Sonic won't be able to resist a challenge. Metal will keep him busy while I finalize my latest plans for world domination! HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!"

.

As lop-sided as Eggman's intelligence was, he was right about one thing at least: Sonic could never turn down a competitor. As soon as word spread throughout South Island that a "blue blur" was tearing through town and forest alike, Sonic was quick to see what the fuss was about. And sure enough, he and Tails were soon face to face with the metallic doppelganger on the edge of Green Hill Zone.

"Sonic," gulped Tails nervously. "Wh-what is that thing?"

"It's Metal Sonic," replied the flesh-and-blood hedgehog. "He and I had our bouts back on the Little Planet. Guess Doctor Eggman rebuilt him."

"He does look a lot like you, it's really creepy."

Sonic glanced away with half opened eyes. "Heh, not quite. I'm way more handsome than that."

The robot replied in a monotonous voice which, eerily enough, mirrored that of his furry lookalike: "SONIC. THE HEDGEHOG. I HAVE. FOUND YOU."

The robot's tone frightened the little fox, causing him to cower behind his idol, but Sonic wasn't even the least bit impressed. "Look, if you want an autograph, you'll have to wait in line."

"I AM. HERE TO. CHALLENGE YOU. TO. A. RACE. LET US SEE. WHICH OF US. IS. THE FASTEST. THING. ALIVE."

Suddenly Sonic's green eyes bulged. "A race? You wanna race with me?" He started to chuckle. "Aw man, I never knew robots had a sense of humor! That's priceless!"

"Sonic..." muttered a still nervous Tails.

Metal Sonic remained still. "I. WILL. TRANSLATE YOUR LAUGHTER. AS AN ACCEPTION TO MY CHALLENGE. ONE LAP AROUND THE WORLD. WILL DECIDE THE VICTOR."

"Just one lap? Huh. Well okay, if you can handle only one..."

"THE RACE BEGINS. ONYOURMARKGETSETGO." -WHOOSH!

"Hey!" yelled Sonic, as he and Tails were caught off guard by Metal's sudden blast of wind. He blinked, and his robotic copycat-er, hog- was gone. "Rats," he cussed softly before creating his own blur of blue following Metal's.

Tails paused, still confused and alarmed by this sudden event. He had only just met Sonic a few weeks ago and has only recently joined him on an adventure. Now all of a sudden there were two Sonics, and one of them was a scary looking robot? This was all a little too much for the little fox to take in all at once. He needed time to think, to plan a way to help his hero before this metallic monster got the better of him...

.

The world saw nothing like it before or since: two blurs of blue zipping and tearing through forest, desert, cavern and even ocean at speeds greater than the naked eye. They made blazing trails through the West and South Islands, created wild winds and mini-tornadoes, and as they skipped across water, the droplets flew so high into the air that they evaporated.

By the time the two blurs crossed over the planet a third time, one of them- the lighter blue one- was losing momentum. The other, darker blur, only made things tougher with random colliisions that forced the lighter one off track. It was becoming clear that Sonic, the lighter blur, lacked the stamina of his metallic counterpart.

.

And it didn't help that Metal Sonic was a cheater.

The robot seemed to know every path set before him, for every time the rivals neared a trail of Rings, the metallic copycat either got to them first, or spin-dashed into his flesh and blood counterpart to veer him off their course. He was purposely denying Sonic of much needed energy. By the time they made it back to Green Hill Zone, where their race began, Sonic's velocity dropped to a mere 200 miles per hour. This was enough for Metal Sonic to fly above him and drop down like a missile onto his rival's back, nearly flattening him into the ground.

Exhausted and beaten, Sonic curled onto his side in sad defeat, as his metallic counterpart hovered over him triumphantly. "IT. IS. SETTLED. I. METAL SONIC. AM TRULY. THE FASTEST THING. ALIVE."

Poor Sonic was so winded that he could barely retort; however, he soon realized that he wasn't alone. "You're wrong!" exclaimed Tails, who had been waiting patiently for the race to end. He propelled himself forward and landed between the two racers.

The robot cocked his head. "YOU. ARE. MISTAKEN. LITTLE FOX. I HAVE WON. THE RACE."

"Maybe," frowned the fiesty two-tailed fox, "but you could never call yourself The Fastest Thing Alive."

"EXPLAIN."

"Well, Sonic here is flesh and blood, a real living hedgehog. While you're just a robot- you have no real feelings like we do. So, technically speaking, the title Fastest Thing Alive automatically goes to Sonic."

The defeated hedgehog on the ground forced himself up, still reeling in pain after being pumelled in the back. But he gave a smile to his little friend, whose quick thinking may have just saved his life.

The robot's burning red eyes flashed, as though they were blinking. They flashed again, flickering. A small spark spouted from the side of his face. "NO. INCORRECT. I... AM VICTORIOUS. I AM..." His arms and legs began to tremble uncontrollably.

"You," pointed the fox dramatically, "are not alive."

More sparks surged from the robot as he now lost all control of his body, his eyes flickering and his head beginning to spin. "INCORRECT. INCORRECT. I AM VICTOR-SONIC-I. AM. FASTEST-RACE-VICTOR. I-EE-I-EE-I-EE-I-EEE-ROR-ERROR-ERROR-ERROR-ERROR-ERROR-ERROR-"

-KABOOM!-

Sonic and Tailes took cover as parts of Metal Sonic went flying in all directions. When they looked onward, they saw that the metallic nuisance was nothing more than a severed head and scraps. Sonic himself shivered in disgust.

"Woah... What was that?" he asked.

Tails turned to him and smiled, "A parodox."

"A what?"

"You see, it's been theorized that robots don't understand complex thinking; by giving him a parodox, or a contradiction, his brain circuits overloaded."

Sonic blinked.

"I made him think too hard, and his brain went 'boom.'"

"Oooh," nodded the hedgehog. "Well, I'm glad you thought of that little buddy." He further showed his gratitude by ruffling the little fox's bangs, to which Tails giggled. "Just do me one favor, will ya? Don't tell anybody I lost that race."

Tails giggled. "Your secret's safe with me."

The furry duo ran off, just as another flicker of electricity flashed around Metal's head, activating his fearsome red eyes once more. On and off they flashed like a broken traffic light, and yet it was enough for the robot to regain somewhat of a consciousness. Then, from his mouthless face, three words softly but clearly spouted:

"I.

AM.

ALIVE."

.

END(?)