Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, JK Rowling does and I'm not making any profit whatsoever off of this story.

Summary: AU Headmaster Dumbledore decides to ban Quidditch in hope that he can create better house unity with some new rules. What he doesn't count on is the Houses' persistence in being the best.

Harry beat Voldemort in sixth year he is now in his seventh year.

Sirius Black never fell through the veil and is now a Professor at Hogwarts.

Remus Lupin is also a Professor at Hogwarts.

This story will eventually be snarry slash.

I got the idea after playing a game of lemon with my friends.

Please R&R

Enjoy!

...

"Harry!" Ron said running into the Gryffindor Common Room, he looked around wildly for his best friend and saw him sitting on the couch, Hermione by his side. He ran over to them, he was out of breath and had to take two deep breaths to fill his lungs before he could begin. He held out a scroll to his best friend who was looking at him in confusion and surprise. "You have to read this!" Ron demanded.

Harry took the scroll from Ron and scanned it over "What is it?" he asked looking up.

Ron shook his head, a frown on his face "It's just about the worst thing that ever could have happened to this school" Ron growled.

"What?" Hermione asked in surprise taking the paper from Harry.

"It's Dumbledore's new rules for the school" Ron began.

"New rules?" Harry asked, he had no idea what Ron was talking about "No one said anything about new rules."

"Well Dumbledore must have just thought of them" Ron said "It probably had something to do with our Quidditch game against Slytherin yesterday."

"I don't understand" Harry said.

Ron sighed and rubbed his forehead "Okay just listen and no interrupting got it?"

Hermione, Harry and practically the whole common room, since everyone seemed to be listening now, nodded.

"Right so this morning Hermione and I got this letter from Dumbledore asking one of us to come to his office, I said I would go because Hermione was working on her Transfiguration essay. When I got to Dumbledore's office Malfoy and the head boy of Huffelpuff were already there, then the head girl of Ravenclaw showed up too."

Ron had started pacing around as he recalled what happened in the Headmaster's office "Dumbledore sat us all down and offered us tea, once we were all settled he told us that after thinking about it thoroughly he has decided that there is too much negative competition between the houses. He said that watching us play Quidditch all these years and how houses interact when they meet each other in the halls he couldn't believe all the anarchy he was seeing. He told us with the way that we were all acting he wouldn't be surprised if another Dark Lord came to be and so he's decided the school needs change."

Ron stopped pacing and looked at everyone with a grim look. "He's banned Quidditch," there were collective shouts of 'no' and gasps throughout the room "he's making a seating plan for all classrooms so that we are intermixed and on every Friday he is going to make every student take an hour off their free time so that they can meet with students from other houses in their year."

"What?" Seamus shouted outraged "We have to hang out with the Slytherins in our year?"

"Yes as well as the Ravenclaws and Huffelpuffs." Ron declared.

"This can't be happening" Dean muttered.

"I assure you it is" Ron said sadly "Dumbledore has made up his mind, there's no changing it. He said he was going to be announcing it to the school tomorrow after dinner and that he was telling us early so that if anyone had any questions they could come to us."

Hermione looked back down at the parchment and mumbled just loud enough for Harry and Ron to hear "This isn't going to end well."

...

It had been a long week; the majority of the school hadn't taken the news about Dumbledore's new plans well. However the older years were the ones with the most problems with it. Not to mention Gryffindors and Slytherins were having more of a problem with it than Huffelpuffs and Ravenclaws but no matter what anyone said Dumbledore wouldn't change his mind.

So that night, Friday evening, everyone was in the Great Hall just finishing off their dinner when Dumbledore stood up at the head table and cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"Good evening everyone" Dumbledore began once all eyes were on him. "I hope you have taken this last week to come to terms with the new rules. I also hope you all go into this evening's activities with an open mind. You never know what you are going to learn from an experience unless you give it a chance."

Even though his words were sincere he was still met with openly hateful glares from the Gryffindors and Slytherins. Not to mention a few of the competitive teachers that were upset there would be no Quidditch cup to win this year.

Dumbledore frowned; this wasn't going to be easy.

There was silence as everyone continued to stare up at Dumbledore waiting for him to continue.

"Without further ado, here is the plan for tonight" Dumbledore began. "When you leave here tonight there will be a teacher assigned to each of your years, who will lead you to a designated room where you will spend an hour with your fellow year mates. No students will be excused; you all must spend the full hour in the room. Right, now first years your supervisor will be Professor Loviett. You can stay where you are when dinner is dismissed because you will be spending the hour in the great hall."

Dumbledore continued to go through all the years, telling them who would be their supervising teacher.

When he finally reached the seventh years the entire Great Hall was becoming restless.

"Seventh years, you're supervisor will be Professor McGonagall and you will be heading to the seventh floor" Dumbledore finished and then with one last look around the room gave a small sad smile and said "Enjoy your nights, everyone is dismissed."

...

"Well at least we have McGonagall" Harry said to Ron and Hermione after Dumbledore had dismissed them.

"Yeah" Ron agreed "I feel sorry for the sixth years."

They all turned to look at where the sixth years were gathering. A grim faced Professor Snape was sneering down at them while he waited impatiently for all of them to assemble.

"We better get a move on" Hermione stated pointing to the doors of the great hall where most of the seventh years were already standing. Ron and Harry nodded as they followed her to the other seventh years.

Soon they were being ushered out of the Great Hall by McGonagall as they made their way to the seventh floor.

"Where do you think we're going?" Hermione questioned as they reached the fourth floor.

Ron, who was in front of her, looked back at her from over his shoulder, he had a shocked expression on his face "Weren't you paying attention Mione? Dumbledore said we were to go up to the seventh floor."

Hermione glared at the back of his head after he had turned back around "I know which floor you dolt, I meant which room. None of the classrooms up there will fit all of us."

No one could disagree with her and they all started wondering where their transfiguration Professor was leading them.

Harry was shocked when they made it to the seventh floor and were standing outside of the room of requirement. He thought the room was supposed to be a secret but he guessed Dumbledore had decided to put it to good use.

Professor McGonagall led them into the room. It had become a cozy place to hang out, not unlike the Gryffindor common room only it wasn't coloured in red and gold. There were couches and armchairs scattered around the room. There was a big fireplace in the center and many chess sets placed around the room. Plus there was a washroom off to the side.

"Well" Professor McGonagall stated in her thick brogue "this is nice."

All the students turned to her. She gave them a stern look and said "I expect you all to be on your best behaviour tonight." All the students except for the Slytherins acknowledged her order.

Then she turned to leave "I'll be back in half an hour to check on you."

"What you're leaving?" Hermione asked in surprise.

"Yes" McGonagall said simply "Dumbledore's orders."

When she was gone all the students simply stood and looked at one another.

When the silence was getting intense Lavender Brown broke it "Hey Parvati" she said "Let's play that game you taught us the other night."

Parvati smiled "Sure."

"Padma is that the same game you taught us?" Lisa Turpin a Ravenclaw girl asked her friend.

"Probably" Padma said "Parvati is it the game we learned this summer at Uncle Ted's?"

"Yeah" Parvati told her sister.

"I'm in" Lisa said "that game is so much fun."

Interested now most of the girls from Ravenclaw, Huffelpuff and Gryffindor made their way over to the corner and Lavender asked the room for parchment and a quill.

The only two girls that were left were Hermione and Luna who both still stood beside Harry and Ron.

"Do you know what game they are talking about Hermione?" Luna asked her.

"Yes and its stupid" Hermione said with a shake of her head.

"Oh..." Luna said "I was probably off hunting for nargals when they played it."

Hermione frowned at Luna's comment but didn't say anything.

Some of the boys from Huffelpuff and Ravenclaw decided to go play chess. That left only the Gryffindor boys plus Luna and Hermione, and the entire Slytherin house glaring at each other in the middle of the room.

Finally Malfoy snapped "Damn this is so stupid, the old coot is off his rocker if he thinks putting us in here is going to make us like each other."

Normally Harry would have defended Dumbledore but he was pretty upset with the headmaster at the moment too so he let the comment slide.

"Well you're lucky Potter" Draco sneered "We would have whipped your asses on the Quidditch pitch at least now you don't have to go to the trouble of failing to defeat us."

"You wish Malfoy!" Harry growled glaring daggers at the blonde boy "We would have beat you hands down no problem; we wouldn't even have to break a sweat."

Both boys glared at each, Hermione could just see a fight waiting to happen.

Then there was a loud burst of laughter from the corner where the girls were sitting that distracted the two boys as they looked over at the girls.

Since the boys no longer looked like they were going to kill each other Hermione tentatively reached out her hand and grabbed Harry's arm. She motioned to him that he should follow her over to the couch near the fire. Harry scowled but followed her; the other Gryffindors did the same.

Malfoy didn't say anything as they moved away; he had his eyes downcast and looked like he was in thought.

"This is going to be a long hour" Ron mumbled when he, Hermione and Harry were sitting on the couch. Seamus, Dean, Neville and Luna were sitting around them.

"I wish I'd brought my homework" Hermione said and the boys rolled their eyes.

"Sitting here and complaining isn't going to get us anywhere" Luna said "We just have to think of something to do. What about a game of..."

Luna was cut off when Malfoy came up behind her "We need to find a way to settle this fair and square" Malfoy informed them "To decide which house is best."

"Nothing's ever fair with you Malfoy" Seamus said with a glare.

Malfoy glared at him right back but then turned his attention to Harry again. "I'm serious Potter; if we can't beat you at Quidditch we need something to declare who's the better house. Of course that's not actually hard to figure out." Malfoy said arrogantly referring to Slytherin.

Annoyed Harry asked sarcastically "What do you have in mind Malfoy? Play a game of exploding snap and whoever wins has the better house?"

Ignoring Harry's sarcasm Malfoy rolled his eyes and said "No Potter, it's got to be more extreme, something interesting and challenging."

"It should be something every member of our house can compete in" Hermione said speaking up.

Everyone looked at her.

"What?" she snapped "I'm tired of not being able to say I helped our house win the Quidditch cup and since Dumbledore is planning to not even have a house cup this year I want to be able to contribute to something."

"Granger has a point" Malfoy said a look of annoyance on his face as he called over the rest of his house.

"Then what's something we can all compete...?" Dean began but was cut off by another burst of laughter from the girl's corner.

"What about an intellectual quiz?" Hermione suggested.

"No way" Malfoy said "Too boring."

"Hey we want in on this too" Justin Finch-Fletchley said, he had been standing nearby and heard the conversation.

Malfoy looked like he was going to refuse but then Harry spoke up "Well that's only fair since we are competing to see who the best house is, Ravenclaw should be in it too." When Harry saw the look on Malfoy's face he snorted "You're not afraid of a little competition are you Malfoy?"

Malfoy glared "No. Ravenclaw and Huffelpuff should be in it. But we all know who the winners are already going to be."

"Don't be so sure Malfoy" Ron growled "You don't even know what the challenge is going to be yet."

That got everybody thinking.

They were disturbed again by another loud burst of laughter from the girl's corner.

Malfoy jumped up annoyed "What the hell are you doing over there?" he yelled over to the girls.

Lavender looked up from where she was sitting on the floor "What's it to you Malfoy?"

Malfoy growled "You're making so much noise we can barely concentrate over here, that's what."

Lavender smirked "That's too bad for you."

Before Malfoy could snap at her Hermione spoke up with an air of superiority "They're playing this stupid game."

Lavender looked annoyed "It's not stupid it's fun. You're just too uptight Hermione Granger!"

Hermione gaped at her but before a cat fight could start up Ron looked over at Lavender and asked "Can you tell us what the game is about?"

Lavender smirked at Hermione "Sure" she said "So Padma and Parvati went to their Uncle's last summer and his kids taught them this game that they had learned while they were at school."

Lavender turned to Padma and the girl spoke up "Basically you get a piece of parchment and a quill then you write down all the names of the people that are playing."

"Then say you have five girls playing you have to write down five boy's names. It can be someone the girls like but it's funnier if it's someone like their professor." Lavender told them.

"After that you have to right down five places, say like the Great hall or the Quidditch pitch." Lisa said speaking up.

"Next you have to write down five different body parts and last but not least you have to write down five different things you can do with a lemon like lick it or squeeze it." Padma continued.

"Then you randomly count off the number five on each of the columns and when you are done you fit them together to make a sentence. So for example" Lavender said grabbing the parchment they had been using "You'll get a sentence like, Padma kissed Hagrid's ear in the girl's bathroom."

All of the girls laughed and some of the other occupants of the room did too.

"That's it!" Malfoy shouted startling everyone "That will be the challenge."

"What are you talking about Malfoy?" Hermione asked disgusted.

"We will use that for the challenge only it will be slightly different" Malfoy said.

"That's crazy" Ron said shaking his head.

"No hear me out" Malfoy said and when no one interrupted him he continued. "We will write all of our names down and put them into a hat or something" Malfoy said transfiguring a pillow for the couch into a wizard's hat. "Then we will have another hat and fill it with professors' names. A third hat for names of body parts and a fourth for things you can do with a lemon. Then we will use magic to call a name from the hat, four names altogether; one from each of our houses. Then those people will have to pick a piece of parchment from each one of the hats. Whatever sentence they get they have to perform during the week, like if they got kiss Lupin's hand they would have to do it by the end of the week. Then they would get awarded points for how daring the move was. And when we meet on Friday again another four people get picked."

"What about the places?" Harry asked and Hermione gasped.

"You're not actually thinking about doing this?" she asked Harry.

"Maybe" Harry said with a shrug "Now...places?"

"That would be up to the person to decide since you can't really get a male Professor to willingly walk into the girl's bathroom, which would be too hard. You'll get more or less points depending on where you do your challenge. Like if it is in front of a classroom full of students you get more points than if you were just in a corridor with only one or two people around."

"Who will be the judge?" Terry Boot asked coming over "It can't be anyone from our houses they would be biased."

The whole room grew silent as they thought about it.

Then they heard someone walk into the room and all looked over to see Professor McGonagall had come back.

She looked at them in slight bewilderment, she had thought they would be fighting but they were all just sitting and standing silently. "Everything going okay in here?" she asked and most of the room nodded. "Alright she said with a shrug carry on."

When they were sure she was gone Dean spoke up "What about getting the ghosts to judge?"

The idea was passed around for a bit but finally Blaise shook his head "That wouldn't work because they might tell, I'm sure most of them would be against it. The only two I can think of that wouldn't be are the Bloody Barren and Nearly Headless Nick and again they are both biased."

"How about the house elves?" Pansy suggested.

"That wouldn't work either" Harry said "The house elves are employed by Dumbledore if the thought they were doing something to hurt him or his staff they would beat themselves bloody."

Silence fell in the room again but then Ron shouted "I've got it" he said and when everyone looked expectantly at him he smiled and said "Peeves!"

"That actually has some merit" Malfoy said.

"Of course it does" Ron grinned "Peeves wouldn't tell the teachers and he would appreciate what we were doing because he would see it as one big prank and on the plus side he doesn't favour any house."

There was a poof in the middle of the room and everyone stared at a grinning Peeves "Did someone call my name?" he asked with a shout.

"Yes we did actually" Draco said and he explained to Peeves what they were planning to do. By the end of the explanation Peeves was swishing around their heads "Yippee Yahoo" he yelled "it's pranking time. Of course I'll be your judge!"

"Good" Malfoy stated "Hey Blaise do you still have that pensive you got for your birthday?"

"Yes" Blaise said "It's in the dorm."

"If you brought it here with you each Friday we could let Peeves go over our memories of the events so that he can better judge them."

"Sure" Blaise said.

"We should have rules that if you don't do your challenge you get points taken away" Luna said in her dreamy voice.

"Yeah that's a good idea" Malfoy said.

"But you should have a choice of it you want to do your challenge or not" Padma said "Like say you got lick Snape's butt you should be able to decline."

"Hmm...what if as soon as you got the challenge you have the choice to decline it but if you don't decline and you still end up not doing the challenge during the week then you get points taken away?" Harry suggested.

"But then the house wouldn't get any points that week" Justin pointed out.

"We could appoint one person to be the leader of each team and if a team member declines the challenge they have a chance of doing the challenge instead." Dean said.

The room thought it over "That sounds fair" Lavender said.

"Someone get a parchment and quill, we should be writing this down." Blaise said and Lavender went to get him the quill and parchment they had been using.

"What about disqualifications?" Seamus asked "What can't you do."

"You can't tell anyone about the game other than the people in this room. You can't tell them because you are explaining why you groped your teachers ass instead you come up with your own excuse and take the punishment. And you can't tell another student just because you think it's funny and you wanna share. No telling or your whole house is disqualified." Malfoy declared.

They all sat silently for a moment and then Malfoy looked over at Harry "I think that just about covers it" He said.

"Wait" Harry said "The number of students outweighs the number of teachers and I can't think of more than a few things to do with a lemon that would make sense."

"So we have doubles" Pansy suggested "Doubles of teachers and doubles of things to do with them. As well as doubles of body parts."

Hermione realising that they were really going to go through with this decided she wanted to add one rule of her own. "There should be no impossible challenges" she said speaking for the first time.

"What do you mean Granger?" Malfoy asked.

"Like there couldn't be a challenge: Blank sucks Professor Black's...cock...that's just not possible and it would get the student expelled if they tried."

"She has a point" Susan Bones said "I wouldn't put my school career on the line for a silly challenge."

"Fine" Malfoy said "Blaise add that to the list of things we won't do. Now do we have everything covered?"

There was a murmur around the room.

"I think so" Harry said "Now all we have to do is pick out team captions and get the hats with names ready."

"Right" Malfoy said "We should start it today."

All the houses gathered into groups and began to decide who would be their team leaders.

"You should do it Harry" Lavender said loudly.

Harry shook his head "No it should be the person most willing to take on any challenge."

"So who then?" Ron asked.

Harry looked up at Seamus who he had caught snogging three different people, two of them had been male while the other had been female.

Seamus blushed under the intense stare "I don't know..." he began.

"Come on Seamus I know you would be more willing to do things that most of us might not want to." Harry said.

"Okay" Seamus said.

They had ten minutes and then they all got back into a circle while Malfoy called for the team captains to put their hands up. Malfoy was the leader for his house, Michael Corner was for Ravenclaw and Ernie Macmillan was the leader of Huffelpuff.

They then charmed the transfigured hats to float in the middle of them and spelled for four names, one from each house to fly out of the first hat. The names then flew to the team captains and they had to read off who was chosen from his team.

Malfoy went first "Pansy" he said looking at the girl beside him.

Pansy smirked at everyone and then turned to Ernie to see who the Huffelpuff challenger was "Justin" Ernie said. Justin looked a little nervous but then he nodded his head and looked at the Gryffindors.

Seamus looked at the parchment and called out "Neville." Neville who had been trying to blend into the background gaped and shook his head nervously.

For Ravenclaw Terry called out "Luna." Luna just smiled.

Then the three hats were past around and the challengers had to pick out a piece of paper from each.

When each challenger had all three pieces of parchment they one by one read their sentence to the whole group.

Pansy looked done out her papers and read "I have to grab Filch's shoulder" she said and her face turned in disgust as she thought of touching the dirty squib janitor.

"That one's easy" Ron burst out annoyed.

"Maybe for you" Pansy said in a huff.

"Just leave it" Harry snapped at Ron "We're running out of time, our hour is almost up."

"Fine" Ron said.

Next Justin read out "I must lick Professor's Black's foot. How am I supposed to do that, he wears shoes!"

"So you have to lick his shoe" Malfoy said.

Justin made a disgusting face but didn't protest further.

Neville nervously read his "I must squeeze Professor Loviett's hand."

"That's not too bad Neville" Hermione whispered to him.

Neville just shook his head and waited for Luna to go "I have to kiss Professor Lupin's cheek." Luna said and blushed slightly.

"Good" Malfoy said standing up he raised his wand in the air and let sparks fly from it "Let the Seventh Year House Challenge begin."