A/N:
OK folks... This one-shot came about in a conversation between me and little furry cannibals after I requested my readers give me suggestions on how Bella should find out about the imprint.
LFC and I worked together on this but the premise of the chapter is totally hers. She is an awesome author (Fate is sweet and hilarious and Iniquitous is dark and deep). Please check out her stories and show her some love too!
My dear Beta and friend WOLFYFANGRL did not preview this (I wanted her to be surprised) so any mistakes are on us!
Remember people, this is supposed to be a fun parody one-shot based on Chapter 5 of Tribal Daddy. Please read that chapter first before reading this Outtake.
We hope you enjoy it. Now, on with the show!
Sitting in a less than comfortable chair, my gaze took in my surroundings. I was on a stage of sorts, bright lights everywhere with a room full of people. Some of them were staring at me and whispering while others seemed to be waiting for someone or maybe… something?
A voice suddenly echoed as I could hear the quiet hissing feedback of a microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen, our first guest today is Isabella Swan, part Quilete and part," the voice lowered for theatrics. "And part something else. She has joined us to share her tale and find the answers she needs as to why the man she is hopelessly in love with is committing not only adultery, but incest. Welcome to the Jerry Springer show!"
The audience stood up and loud cheering and chanting emitted from the audience. I wanted to cover my ears and run away. What the hell was going on?
"Isabella..."
"Jerry, I go by Bella, please."
"Sorry about that. So Bella, when did you realize that you feel in love with a two-timer?"
"Wait, Jerry, I don't know that he's cheating on me, I just saw him with his arms wrapped around a beautiful woman and heard a few of his phone conversations-"
"So you suspected all along that this man, a Mr. Jacob Black, was using you... yet you still pursued a relationship with him?"
"No, I mean he told me we were soul-mates and that we were supposed to be together. I didn't want to believe it but my heart just hums whenever he's around and-"
"Even now, you want to be with him? Knowing that he uses women to appear normal to society while all along he's committing sexual relations with none other than his sister!" Jerry screeched into his microphone, causing the audience to boo and hiss in disproval.
"Look, I don't know if he is doing anything with his sister, but-"
"Let's talk about the other factor here, the one that causes him to claim you're his soul-mate. Is it true that he is also a werewolf?"
"Well, yeah, that's part of the Quileute legends. Most of the young males from the tribe carry the werewolf gene, so-" I was cut off again, this time by an audience member who grabbed the microphone from Jerry.
A huge black lady stopped up, huffing as she struggled to speak directly into the mic that Jerry had relinquished.
"Sista, that is the oldest line in the world. Men are dogs and by this Mista Jacob Black saying he's a wolf is just his way of admitting he's a dog like the rest of them while trying to make it sound all pretty. Don't buy into his lies, you can do better!"
The crowd roared its approval as the lady sat back down and Jerry took over.
"Well Bella, let's bring out Jacob and see what he has to say. Mr. Jacob Black, please join us."
Jacob walked out from behind some wall to cross the stage while most of the audience hurled insults. Giving them a terrifying scowl he approached me and collapsed down into the chair positioned to my left. Peeling my hand off of the arm-rest I was gripping, he bestowed a sweet kiss to my palm, giving me a smile before waiting for Jerry to start his questions.
"Jacob, is it true? Are you a soul-mate to Bella?"
"Yes, Jerry, that is correct. Bella is my imprint."
"Does it bother you at all that while breaking poor Ms. Swan's heart you are also engaged in incestuous behavior with your sister?"
"Now wait just a damn minute! I don't know where these accusations are coming from but I would never nor have I ever done anything like that," Jacob spat out, truly enraged. Grabbing his hand, I silently willed for him to calm down.
"Is it pay-back then, Jacob? Have you fallen hopelessly in love with Bella and are angry because she's been with other men, possible even another Quileute? Is all of this because she has a child by someone other than you, her soul-mate?"
"No! I'm a little creeped out that she may have fuc-" A loud beep overrode his cussing but stopped in time so everyone could hear what else he was saying. "…a vampire-leech but all of that is in the past. I love Bella, only I get to sleep with her now."
"A leech? Would you say then that Bella has an unnatural love for men who pretend to be something other than just a plain human?"
The audience gasped and Jerry gave a rueful chuckle before continuing.
"Perhaps we should all meet the beautiful little boy who is caught up in the relationship mess his mother is trying to figure out; and another man who wishes to date Bella as well. Quil, will you and little Mikey please join us."
Thunderous applause and 'awws' filled the room as Quil came out carrying my son, Michael. Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt that read 'I eat like a wolf' Michael gave a fist-bump to Quil before jumping out of his arms and racing to introduce himself to Jerry. With a sippy cup in one hand, he raised his hand to Jerry expecting another fist-bump.
"Hello there, Mikey. Are you nervous in front of all of these people?" Jerry asked him, still not reciprocating the fist greeting. Michael just rolled his eyes.
"No, it's not like there are any vamp monsters out there." Turning his attention to Jacob and Quil, who now sat on the other side of me, Michael questioned the guys. "Why won't he do the bump thing?"
"It's a werewolf thing, bro," Quil stage-whispered while Jacob grinned adoringly at Michael.
"Oh, okay." Two skips and a jump and Michael was in front of me, trying to climb up in my lap.
"So Quil, you were witness to Jacob and his sister's affection while Jacob also tried to woo Bella, is that correct?"
"Yeah, it wasn't at all what I expected."
"Quil, what the fuc" beep "are you talking about? I have never done anything with my sister."
"Well, I didn't think so but then Bella got to talking about all the signs and it started to look suspicious. I mean, you were hugging all over her and whispering sweet nothings in the phone. I'd say the possibility that something is happening there is pretty strong."
"That is bullsh-" beep "You're just saying that sh-" beep "because you want her for yourself!"
"Is it true, Quil? Do you want a relationship with Bella for yourself, causing you to make up tales that aren't true?"
"Oh, I gotta a tail alright and it's true! See, I'm a werewolf too and I can see into Jake's mind. He has a lot hidden there that he doesn't want to share. If a wolf has nothing to hide, why all the secrets then?" Quil arched his eyebrow inqusitvely at Jerry.
"Why indeed? Jacob what do you have to say in defense to these accusations?"
Jake didn't respond.
"Jake?" I stared at him, wanting to know what secrets he did, in fact, have hidden that Quil knew about.
"Well, Jake? Is it time to the let cat out of the bag? Doesn't Bella deserve to know the truth?" Quil eyed him.
Jake started nervously at the floor in front of him.
"Mommy, it's no big deal," Michael said as and took a swig of juice from his sippy cup.
"What's not honey?"
"Jake's secret. I know what it is. And I want it too when I get to be a big wolf like Jake," he smiled at him.
"Mikey?" Jerry interrupted. "Can you tell all of us what Jake's secret is?"
He shook his head no.
"Why not?" Jerry asked.
"It's a wolf thing," Michael shrugged.
"Um, OK. How about you just tell me and I promise not to tell anyone else," Jerry begged.
"Pinkey swear?" Michael asked him.
Jerry nodded as Michael walked over to him, holding out his right pinkey finger. They shook on their deal and Jerry leaned down so that Michael could whisper in his ear.
"Bella," Jake whispered to me during the exchange. "The whole Rachel thing is just a big misunderstanding. You know that right? You, and you alone, are my imprint."
Before I could answer, I watched my son lean into Jerry's ear and cover the side of his mouth with his hand. But what my poor Michael didn't see was that Jerry, the evil talk show host that he is, was holding the mic right under his chin ready to capture every word he said.
"Michael!" I cried out hoping to stop him in time. I didn't know what Jake's secret was, but I sure as hell didn't want it to come out this way or for my son to be a part of it.
"See, Jake's a wolf... like a dog. But what he really wants is a puss-" beep!
The audience gasped in surprise at the reveal and Michael looked around trying to figure out how everyone had heard him whisper his secret. He then saw Jerry's smug look and the mic poised in his fist as he rested his chin on his hand.
"You lied!" Michael cried out and pointed at Jerry. "And you even pinky swore! That's bad... very, very bad!"
Jerry's chuckle turned into a full-out laughter and the audience followed Jerry's lead and began laughing at my son's innocent mistake in believing the conniving host.
I saw a shimmer form around Michael's body. Quil leaned over and whispered something in Jake's ear. The two of them quickly pulled Michael back up onto the stage and dragged me out of the way.
"What are you doing? Don't leave him standing out there all alone to be laughed at! What is wrong with you two?" I screamed at Jake and Quil.
I struggled as Quil held me by my arms and Jake talked soothingly to Michael from a safe distance.
"Why is everyone laughing mommy? All I said was that Jake is a dog and wants a pussycat. That's not funny is it mommy?" his shaking continued as he asked before turning away from me.
"Stop laughing!" he screamed at the audience one final time before I saw my son explode into a beautiful white wolf.
Michael never took his eyes off of Jerry and began to growl.
"Oh, sh-" beep! Jerry whispered.
Quil let go of my arms and joined Jake on stage as the two of them phased and stood tall and proud next to Michael.
The audience began panicking and running from the studio. Jerry was about to bolt when he was stopped by the wolf forms of Jake and Quil. With a swipe of a paw from Jake, Jerry fell to the ground and Quil's paw held his shoulder down.
Michael trotted over, lifted his leg and peed on Jerry.
"A cat? A pussycat? That's your big secret? You're a wolf that wants a cat for a pet?" I asked as the three wolves slowly approached me.
Quil phased back to human, oblivious to the fact that not only was he nude for all to see but that he was very… happy.
"Bella, you don't understand, babes," Quil crooned, as he reached out to stroke my cheek. "It's not just any cat that Jake wants. It's your pus-" beep "that he wants. In fact, I'm hoping my Alpha will share."
Throwing his head back, Quil began a lustful howl which Jake joined. I felt my mind reel and I started to fall to the ground. Before I could hit anything, I woke up to a darkened room, heaving and panting in fear.
A large, warm hand caressed my back and neck as a husky voice whispered to me from afar.
"Shhh, it's okay, relax. I've got you."
Turning around to thank Jacob, my eyes sought out his comforting stare. Taking in the beautiful, toned skin of his chest, I started to smile as my gaze traveled upwards to meet his face. The power between us flared as I watched his tongue lick his full lips and as I stared into the mirror of my soul, I froze.
With an arrogant smirk and knowing glance, Quil grabbed my cheeks to pull me closer to him.
"I always knew you wanted me, Bella. Now give this puppy a kiss!"
Screaming, I sat upright, wiping my mouth to erase the mental feeling of Quil's grub-like tongue. Relieved that I was alone, I stumbled out of my sweat-soaked sheets to get a glass of water in the bathroom and soothe my racing heart.
The harsh bathroom light caused me to blink rapidly and after chugging down some cool water, I gazed at myself in the mirror.
"Get a grip, Bella, it was just a dream," I mumbled to myself sarcastically. "You already have to deal with vampires and werewolves. If imprinting includes a side-dish of incest and sharing beds with the rest of the pack, you are more than ready to be checked into the psych ward!"
A/N:
So that's it folks! Hope you enjoyed it!
Let us know what you thought of this outtake.
Until next time...
Juls