A/N-If you're subscribed to me you're probably surprised that this isn't an HP fic. If you haven't seen Rizzoli and Isles though, you should. That show is seriously the femslashy gift that just keeps on giving. Anyway, this fic is inspired by some twitters between Jane and Maura about Maura stealing Jane's shoes and borrowing Jane's shirt and refusing to give them back. Seriously, the twitters between these two are so femslashy that they sometimes cease to be subtext (check out some of the recent ones and you'll see what I mean). :)
I don't own Jane and Maura or any of those other guys on the show...
"Are you for real right now?" Jane asked as she eyed her shoes, the ones that Maura had just slipped onto her feet after managing to steal them from Jane.
"If by for real, you mean to ask am I being honest, then I think you know the answer," Maura said, her head tilted to the side and the corner of her lip turned up. "I have every intention of keeping these shoes for an extended period of time."
Jane slouched so that her head was resting on the table and groaned. She was sitting in a Boston bar completely barefoot, with no immediate access to her shoes. It wasn't the very first time that such a thing had happened, but she needed about ten more beers to get to the state she'd been the last time she lost her shoes in a bar.
"Please Maura," Jane whined. "I already let you borrow my shirt. I can't just walk around a bar barefoot."
Maura took the pair of obscenely expensive heels she'd been sporting and put the on the table. She slid them across to Jane and smiled innocently. "Wear mine."
"No, Maura," Jane insisted. When Maura lowered her eyes and gave the kicked puppy dog look that she gave so well, Jane added. "No, I can't. Not with this outfit, I'm a cop for Christ's sake, those shoes are worth as much as I make in a week."
Maura, however, persisted until Jane couldn't take it anymore. "Fine," she muttered. "Just so you can see how ridiculous I look in your Jimmy's or Joey's or whatever the hell they are."
Maura beamed at her friend as Jane snatched the light purple shoes and put them on her feet. They were actually a tiny bit loose on her, about a half size too big. Jane spun around for Maura's benefit, then sat quickly back down and took the heels off.
"See. Ridiculous," Jane said as she put the shoes back on the table and slid them across to Maura. "Now give me my shoes back."
In the few seconds wearing the Jimmy Choos, Jane had hardly carried herself any differently than she usually did in her comfy, albeit unfashionable shoes. Yet Maura caught a fascinating glimmer of a Jane Rizzoli she rarely got to see. It wasn't just that Jane looked stunning in the shoes, even though she did. It was that she looked so incredibly uncomfortable and insecure, but was still doing the thing that brought out those feelings. She had done it for no other reason than to make Maura happy.
When Maura realized that Jane was staring at her waiting for a response, she looked up and nodded.
"They look fantastic on you," Maura said, then added without thinking. "They make your legs look fabulous."
"Thanks, I guess," Jane said as she raised her eyebrows and leaned back for another sip of her beer.
Now that's interesting, Maura thought. Maura realized she rarely ever said things that she had not completely processed first to assure it was an appropriate response. Such impulsive speech and lack of inhibition could be a result of the beer, though she had only had a negligible quantity, so scratch that. It could also be the result of a sudden redistribution of blood, but that would be accompanied by other symptoms, so that could be ruled out for now.
Before Maura could finish her self-diagnosis, Jane snapped her fingers in front of Maura's face a few times to get her attention. Maura look at Jane quizzically, uncertain of why she was so impatient.
"Shoes? Anytime now," Jane said, tapping her finger impatiently on the table. "I am not going barefoot in here no matter how clean the nuts are."
Maura's face shift from confused to annoyed that her train of thought had been interrupted by Jane's dogged pursuit of her shoes.
"You have shoes, Jane," Maura said as she pushed the heels back across the table. "Very nice, very expensive shoes. Besides, these match my shirt."
"Gahh! It's because you are wearing my shirt Maura," Jane said as she gestured to the softball tshirt that Jane had lent Maura after Maura's clothes got soaked through on a work errand.
Jane blinked and looked up quickly from where her eye had settled conveniently on Maura's chest for a second longer than was at all necessary or appropriate.
"It looks great though," Jane said quickly, simply to fill up the silence that had fallen over them.
Hmm fascinating, Dr. Isles thought as she smiled noncommittally at Jane. The other woman appeared to be having similar reactions to her own moments before. Though impulsive speech was more routine for Jane than Maura, this particular statement seemed rather out of the ordinary. There was also the loss of concentration or focus at unusual moments in conversation.
There existed the possibility that they both had a tumor or brain disorder that affected them in similar ways. The probability of that happening was staggeringly low though, so it would go on the list, but Maura needed some more feasible possibilities. What else causes erratic changes in behavior towards another person? The answer was so obvious and so unexpected that she nearly gasped out loud when it popped into her head.
Pheremones. Or sexual pheromones if she were to be more precise, and that was always Maura Isles' aim, even in special circumstances like this one. It was a fascinating hypothesis that Maura would just have to test out. For no other reason than to rule it out, of course.
"You want your shoes back?" Maura asked.
"No Maura. I'd rather break both of my ankles walking around in your heels," Jane said with that trademark sarcasm that even Maura could pick up. "Yes, of course I want my shoes back."
"Come and get them then," Maura said as she removed the sensible, well worn shoes and held them out in front of her.
She hoped she wasn't being too obvious in her efforts to initiate physical contact with Jane. It didn't appear that Jane picked up on Maura's flirtation though. Without hesitation, Jane had launched herself across the table to grab at the toe of the shoe. Maura simply shifted so she was out of Jane's reach.
"Don't think I won't come over there," Jane said as she smiled and got up from her seat and tiptoes over the damp floor to the other side of their table.
"I was counting on it," Maura said playfully as she quickly moved away from Jane, forcing the detective to crawl into the seat next to Maura. They were now very close as Jane tried to wrestle the shoes away from Maura. Jane finally got them, as Maura lost her focus when Jane came closer than she had anticipated.
"Yes! I win," Jane said loud enough to cause any patrons that weren't already staring at the spectacle to turn around to look.
Jane looked around and blushed. It was hard to get her to do that, but Maura found it adorable and sweet. She was so caught up in Jane's adorable blush that it took a few seconds to see that Jane, for some reason, remained impossibly close. Maura suddenly found herself tempted to enjoy the very nice view she had down Jane's shirt.
Jane cleared her throat but didn't move.
"Um, that's a nice, um perfume you have," Jane said as she looked down at Maura. She blushed again and locked eyes with Maura, a nervous smile pulling at the corner of her lips.
Alright, this experiment was going too well for Maura. Not only were both of their pheromone levels clearly elevated, but she was now experiencing a combination of symptoms she could only associate with arousal. If Maura wasn't mistaken, Jane's pupils and facial muscles indicated similar levels of arousal.
Though she was in no rush to move away from Jane, Maura could see the bartender over Jane's shoulder. He was still looking over at them with what Maura could only identify as a generally unpleasant gaze. Maura had a hard time understanding exactly what had the man miffed, but it appeared to have something to do with their presence.
"Um, Jane?" Maura said, surprised that her voice came out so softly. She nodded in the direction of the bartender.
Jane threw the man her best 'don't screw with me' glare and he promptly became very interested in cleaning the bar. Jane moved away from Maura, but remained sitting next to her.
"Guy has some kind of staring problem," she muttered. "It's like he's never seen a barefoot detective trying to get her shoes from an M.E. with a wine glass of beer."
Maura laughed as she reached across the table to grab her shoes and proceeded to put them on. The two of them probably did look absolutely absurd and out of the ordinary, when Maura really processed the visual Jane gave her.
"Well, I think that kind of scenario is actually rather uncommon," Maura said as she fixed her left shoe strap. "I could so some research on documented cases, but—
"Yeah, Maura, I get that," Jane said with one of those looks that are simultaneously frustrated and amused, the kind of reaction that only Maura could get from the detective. "Let's get out of here."
Jane shot the bartender another dirty look for good measure and led Maura out of the bar.
"Where are we going?" Maura asked as the both climbed into Jane's car.
"My place. That bartender was pissing me off," Jane said as she shifted the car into drive and pulled out onto the street.
Jane's apartment was only a few blocks from the bar, so they arrived at the building with minimal honking and only moderate swearing from Jane as she made her way through the narrow streets of Boston.
When they got into Jane's apartment, she tossed her keys on the counter and headed straight for the refrigerator while mumbling something about 'a bunch fucking of massholes.'
While Maura found Jane's insistence on swearing in entirely unnecessary situations comical and a bit endearing, she still felt a compulsion to remind her friend that such behavior wasn't exactly polite and might be misconstrued by others.
"Jane, language," Maura admonished halfheartedly. When Jane looked ready to argue, Maura simply held up her hands. "I don't mind. I'm simply concerned that others might get the wrong idea about you."
"What kind of wrong idea?" Jane asked, not at all defensive, as Maura had anticipated, but more, what was that? Could it be flirty? Suggestive?
Maura had not anticipated that possible outcome to her experiment. Jane had drank almost a whole glass of wine in the short time they'd been in the kitchen, but that in addition to the one beer at the bar wasn't usually enough to get the detective drunk. That would be the only possible reason for Jane to be so bold, because that's what Jane's tone was; it was bold.
"What are you looking for there doc? Trying to diagnose me now?" Jane asked as she went to the refrigerator to get another beer.
"I'm not diagnosing you," Maura said as she finished off her wine and took the beer bottle Jane had just offered. "I was determining the appropriate response. There's a difference."
Jane looked as Maura with that 'you're so adorably naive' look that Maura disliked from anyone but Jane, because she knew Jane wasn't doing it to be patronizing. They looked at each for about a second longer than Maura suspected was socially appropriate in the situation, but Jane either didn't mind or didn't care. Then, as if a firecracker had gone off, Jane snapped out of it and felt in her pocket for her phone and looked at the time.
"Shit," Jane muttered under her breath. "I've got softball tonight."
"It's alright, Jane," Maura said placing a hand on Jane's arm. If she were to have any success at her experiment, she needed to maintain control of the flirting, or whatever it was that was going on here. "We still have plenty of time," Maura said, surprising even herself with how forward she sounded.
Jane looked up from her phone at Maura. She gaped for a second before quickly recovering her composure.
"I'm just going to be needing that shirt back," Jane said as she smiled and took a small step closer, eying the softball jersey that Maura wore so well.
If Maura wasn't mistaken, Jane's gaze stayed on her chest for longer than was strictly necessary, and her facial muscles and pupils were again showing high levels of arousal. Maura felt an unusual level of excitement at the prospect of Jane flirting with her. The feeling both thrilled her and caught her off guard.
"I, I don't have any dry clothes here," Maura offered weakly before taking a sizeable gulp of her wine. "Besides, I like this shirt. It's not efficient for softball, but it's very effective for relaxation purposes."
"Please?" Jane said as she batted her eyelashes whenever Maura was reluctant to provide a piece of information during autopsy. "Your clothes is probably dried by now anyway."
Maura smiled at Jane, enjoying the fact that she had something Jane couldn't get, something that Jane wanted badly. She put on her best naively hurt face, and though she was a terrible actor, Jane didn't say anything.
"But I really like it," Maura said, doing her best to sound pitiful.
"What can I give you to get it back?" Jane asked after she finished and put down her empty wine glass. She took another step towards Maura.
Now Maura was horrible at reading people, but she thought Jane should have been acting a lot more frustrated, and a lot less, well, suggestive.
"Dinner?" Maura offered, smiling and shrugging her shoulders. She had clearly let herself drift way, way out of her comfort zone. Maura could flirt as good as anyone, but this wasn't flirting, this was seduction. "Where would you take me?"
"I'm guessing, since you have what I want, the right answer would be anywhere you want," Jane said stopping a few inches from Maura. When Maura did not immediately fill the silence, Jane flashed that confident grin of hers. God, she has a beautiful smile and nearly perfect bone structure, Maura thought.
"You know, if you don't agree to dinner," Jane said, taking the collar of the shirt between her fingers, "I have other ways of getting this shirt off you."
Maura swallowed hard, but she didn't dare take her eyes off of Jane. She was sure her facial muscles and eyes must be reacting wildly to Jane's apparent advances, but she could not have cared less.
In that moment, Maura determined that her hypothesis was correct. Dr. Maura Isles was intensely attracted to and incredibly aroused by Detective Jane Rizzoli.
A/N- Should I continue? If I do, it probs won't be smutty just yet. :)
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