Disclaimer: I don't own anything :P
"I lie awake, just staring at the damn ceiling, some chick is sleeping quietly beside me but I don't even know her name. I don't want to, I don't want to get attached, not again. Plus, she won't be here long so why does her name matter? Right?
I barely remember you anymore. Not after you left me, shattering my heart into a million pieces in the process. You were the best and worst thing that's ever happened to me. Sad right?
Sometimes while lying here next to the nameless girls, I wonder do you miss me? Do you miss my goodnight kiss in the dark? Do you wake up in the morning wodering, "where am I?" Is it killing you as much as its killing me? I just… I wonder. Do you lie there like me? Or have nameless 'friends' like me. Are you trying to find that one thing I can't find on my own? When he touches you, like really touching you, are you really feeling me?
Yeah, that's a lot to wonder but so what? I got nothin' but time to wonder. You're all I ever wonder about sometimes. Which almost makes it hard to believe that you're almost a memory isn't it? Oh well. I'm a complicated person…
Do you know, that sometimes I wish on a star that isn't fallen? Just hoping my dreams may come true. It's almost pathetic. I even PRAY. That's when I know my life is messed up. I wonder if you do the same 'cause baby, I do, baby I do.
That is what my life consists of, wondering about you. Sometimes I wish I didn't still think of you, life would be much easier. But then again a life without you would be incomplete. I guess that no matter how much I may hate you, I still love you.
So with this last note or letter, take it as you want I just have one more thing to say… Goodbye.
I know I told you, promised even we would never have to say goodbye, but you broke yours, why should I keep mine? Am I right? I think I am.
So… Goodbye.
Just remember one thing, I love you. So much, but this is too much for me. By the time you read this, I'll be gone anyways, long gone. Away from here, away from you..."
That's the last thing you have of him, and the only thing you have of him. He committed suicide after he wrote this letter for your mother. You chuckle lightly, your mother, she's a whore. As much as it pains you to say it that's what she is. She even tried to get you to get into the 'business' needless to say you ran away after that. You were tired of her bad habits anyways.
Your mother drove your father to commit suicide, it kills you inside to think about it. From what you've gathered, your mother left your dad after she found out she was pregnant not wanting to confront the problem. Of course your father didn't know why, he thought there was someone else, so he killed himself. He'd always been a rather depressed person anyways.
You wish you could have met your father, that he wouldn't have killed himself. Maybe you would have had a better life... maybe not, who really knows?
All you know, is that you love your father, dead or alive.
"I love you Shane Gray," you whisper quietly. "So much, daddy."
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New one shot guys! Anyways please review! :) And ignore any errors or mistakes. Gotta go! Night guys. :)
Okay, just to clarify, the story is a letter. Shane wrote it to Mitchie before he killed himself. At the end its Mitchie and Shanes daughter talking. Shane killed himself before said daughter was born... Does that help? So when she says "I love you Shane Gray" "So much daddy" She is talking to her dad... And its NOT Mitchie. Hope that clarify's a bit. Sorry for it being so confusing. :P
- Nat