Are We the Waiting

Chapter Three

Are We, We Are

"Granger?"

She could recognize that voice anywhere. Still, Hermione disregarded his concern laced baritone with a giggle as she traced cloud patters i the sky.

"Granger... Hermione? Are you alri-"

"Draco, do you like ducks?"

"What?" He looked at her strangely for her seemingly random question. "Er... No. No, I-"

"I love ducks."

He could do nothing but stare at her.

"They're cute," She grinned and pointed out another duck shaped cloud. "My daddy and I used to go to the park all the time and sit by the pond and feed the ducks. He loved ducks too. He'd buy loaves of bread strictly for them. And then he'd stand on the bank and tear up the bread into little pieces and the ducks would be swarming and quacking and he'd laugh and hold my hand and help me toss the bread right." Hermione laughed and demonstrated the proper throwing technique in the air.

Draco was at a loss as to what to do. He had ever seen Hermione like this before. He had figured out that she wasn't as strong as she'd like everybody to think, but he had never seen her this distraught, had never seen her become so overwhelmed that she just completely snapped. It seemed so wrong to him, yet he understood. It was so wrong, seeing the 'Great' Hermione Granger lying on the ground so... broken. He frowned and his brow furrowed. They were alike in so may ways and he knew her pain. When she met his gaze across the battlefield he recognized the blank look in her eyes. He had see it in the mirror many times before.

So as not to scare or startle her, Draco moved slowly to her side, sitting down in the grass with her. Hermione ignored him for a moment or two before looking at him with a silly grin. With the enthusiasm of a child, she grabbed one of his large hands in her petite ones. Her hands were soft and warm, he mused with a small upwards quirk of the lip.

"Look!" she exclaimed, pointing again at the sky. She guided his hand in the air, outlining a cloud in the shape of what he assumed was another duck.

"My mother adored ducks as well. They loved each other so much." He became aware that they were no longer talking about ducks. "They were childhood sweethearts you know, two halves of a whole. They loved each other so, so much." As Hermione continued to speak, she became more and more serious and less childlike in her enthusiasm and mannerisms. The playful sparkle faded from her eyes, but she made no move to release his hand from her own.

"She died in the November raid." Hermione said solemnly, her voice level and neutral. Her grip on his hand tightened slightly. "You remember that one, right? There was so much destruction, so much damage to those buildings... She was crushed. Like so many others. They only found piec-" She pursed her lips. "I could have saved her, you know. If I had been there, I could have kept those buildings up. But instead I was at headquarters. In the library. Researching." She sneered in self loathing and Draco opened his mouth to correct her, to tell her it wasn't her fault, but he never got the chance.

"He blamed me. Me and my magic. He's never said it, but there really isn't a need to. Just the way he looks at me..." Hermione turned her head to look up at him. He had never seen her cocoa eyes so filled with pain, not even when he watched her being tortured in his own house. "If I wasn't a witch, she wouldn't be dead. If I wasn't Harry Potter's best friend, she wouldn't have been targeted along with the rest of those people. If I was such a smart student, why couldn't I save her? It was my fault. They were so close. So in love. And when he lost her..." She shrugged, turning back to the sky. "He didn't know how to cope. How do you deal with the loss of half of yourself? How? He turned to alcohol. He would drink his problems away. And the looks he gave me... When I had to go out and pick him up because he was too drunk to make it home or walk up the stairs... How he stared at me when I tucked him into their bed. He hates me. If I was as gifted as everyone makes me out to be, I could have saved her. If I was really the brightest witch of my age, I would have been able to save her and Fred and Tonks and Remus and-" A dry sob cracked her words and she trembled.

Draco didn't know what to do. Emotions weren't his strongest point. He locked them away, pushed them from his mind. It was how he coped. If he didn't think about it, if he refused to feel it, it wouldn't hurt. That clearly wasn't going to work for the witch next to him, however. Moving instinctively, he drew her closer to his body and cradled her gently to his chest as her petite body shook. "Shh..., shh..." he murmured, stroking her back awkwardly in what he hoped was a soothing manner. To his surprise, she flung her arms around him and clung to him as if he was her lifeline.

"McGon-" she hiccuped and tightened her grip on him. "McGonagall told me... told me he got drunk and he tried to go home and jumped the-" she seemed to anticipate his confusion towards the muggle-ness of it all. "He tried to go home and he was drunk and he crossed onto the wrong side of the road..." By the time she had finished, she was once again quaking in his arms. He didn't need her to continue to get the gist of what had occurred.

"He's in St. Mungo's. Critical. I- I can't lose him." She sobbed, shaking her head. "I don't have anyone else. I can't lose him. Harry and Ron don't need me. They can barely stand me anymore. We- We got into a row over it earlier. How I've changed so much. Why I'm so depressed all the time. Why I'm so 'dead'. They don't want anything to do with me. They hate me! They hate me..." Her sobs quieted but her grip tightened. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Draco held her and shushed her gently, speaking soothing and calming words softly into her ear. "There's nothing wrong with you, Hermione. Nothing. It's okay. You don't have to be strong all the time. Everyone breaks. Everyone has a limit. It's okay."

Hermione tore herself from his grasp and he felt an overwhelming loss; a sudden coldness in his body.

"No, no it's not okay. It's not alright! I have to be strong. Everyone else is! I should be too! Why can't I be strong? Why aren't I...? Everyone else is... Even you! Even you." She looked up at him, her eyes filled with emotion. Confusion, curiosity, pity, shame... He had lost both of his parents to the war. He had 'betrayed' his friends, he literally had no one left for him. And yet she was the one breaking. Disgraceful.

Draco laughed humorlessly. "Trust me Granger, you don't want to be like me." There was a bitter and self-loathing quality to his tone and she hesitantly reached out to him, grazing his hand. He flinched, but he didn't withdraw from the contact.

"What I do... It's not good Granger. It's not a good way to cope." He shrugged, diverting his steely gaze out over the lake, his face the well practiced and well known Malfoy mask. "I shut things away. Ignore them. Bottle things up. Emotions are a weakness. That's what my father always told me. And Granger... Malfoys are not weak." He scoffed to himself, murmuring in an undertone, "No matter how many times they may fail at a task, Malfoys are not weak." He shrugged his lean shoulders again, letting his comment hang in the air. "My father is dead, but I keep to what he told me. Habit, I suppose. Habit and... Feelings are... strange to me. I've been avoiding them for so long, so it's a difficult thing for me to really... deal with. Malfoys do not feel fear, but there's no other word to describe this... thing towards emotion. I don't know how to respond to them." He laughed humorlessly, somewhat skeptical. "It probably doesn't make any sense. But I've kept things closed off for so long... I wouldn't know how to act. And as much as that helps me cope it's... crippling, Granger. Don't damage yourself like that."

"But you're showing emotion right now," Hermione argued, "You're being real with me right now."

He smiled wryly. "You open me up. What can I say, Miss Granger? You open me up."

A faint blush coloured her cheeks and she dropped her gaze. Draco looked down at her and touched the pinkening skin softly with his free hand.

"Don't be like me Hermione. Just be you. It's alright to need help. You can't be strong all the time."

"I know. I just... They tried to help me, I guess, but I just pushed them away and tried to make them think I was okay and..." Her face scrunched up in exasperation and she pressed a fair fist against her forehead in frustration and concentration. "I just feel... so alone now. Harry doesn't need me. He has Ginny. Ron doesn't need me anymore. Lavender has taken my place. No one needs me. My father doesn't want me anymore. I feel so... alone." She sat up and drew her legs to her chest, trying to keep herself together.

She felt him put his arm firmly around her shoulders and she froze momentarily, looking at him warily with her eyes brimming with questions. They had formed a tentative friendship when he had joined the order that had slowly blossomed into a close companionship. However, she wasn't sure what to make of his affectionate gestures. They had never crossed the line of a deep friendship and she didn't count his comforting embrace as anything more than a friend helping a friend. But as she felt his body heat warm her own skin, it would be a lie to tell herself that the contact between them was anything but amazing.

"You don't have to be Hermione." His silver eyes were dark, staring at her from under pale lashes intensely.

Hermione swallowed dryly, wetting her chapping lips with her tongue. A small smirk formed on his lips and he leaned down closer to her. His warm breath ghosted over her lips and her eyes flickered shut unconsciously.

"You don't have to be alone, Hermione. Let me help you." He murmured. He stared at her, waiting for her answer, not moving any closer to her waiting body. A moment passed slowly and her eyes and mouth remained closed as she seemed to contemplate what he was saying.

He was just about to pull away when Hermione's plump lips opened a fraction. "Alright," she whispered, and, gathering her Gryffindor courage, she leaned up to meet his patiently waiting mouth.

Draco's laid back and reserved manner instantly gave way. His mouth yielded immediately to her and he licked and nipped at her lips, coaxing them open. His tongue was everywhere, tasting and strong and probing, wrapping around her own and teasing her. She responded unsurely at first; it had been a long while since she had properly snogged a man. Throwing caution to the wind, she meshed her tongue with his and stopped thinking.

Kissing him was like freedom and she gasped, pulling herself closer to him. He tasted of sharpness and clarity and of fresh air and opportunity.

Both breathing heavily, the pair separated as oxygen became more than necessary. She rested her forehead against his and smiled her first real smile in a long while. Her coffee coloured eyes met his shyly and he smirked, trailing his hand down the side of her face, down her neck and across her collar bone, dancing down her side, and reaching for her hand, lacing their finger together.

"It'll be okay." He murmured, pulling her body to perch on his lap, holding her securely from behind.

"Yeah. Yeah it will be." She smiled and looked out over the lake with him, leaning back against his chest.

There was a comfortable pause as the two took in the scenery, watching the sunlight play with the churning waves of the lake.

"Are we?" He asked her gently after a while, a smile in his voice.

"We are." She squeezed his hand and smiled.

Harry Potter is to J.K. Rowling

Are We the Waiting is to Green Day

The next story in the ABC series is titled 'Break'. It'll be a single chapter story, but I assure you the chapter is quite... lengthy. Look out for it, it should be up soon.

Anonymous: Apologies for those three mistakes. I was under the impression it was only one word. Now, perhaps, a critique of the other few thousand words? ;)

A Shade of Gray91 : yeahhhhh, she's completely lost it, I believe. Sorry it was somewhat predictable, I would have included more about the other characters, but I really wanted Draco and Hermione to be the main focus. ;) Personally, Harry and Ron are not my favourite characters. I find Harry to be really... whiny and Ron to be dumb. :| I hope I hinted at it, but Harry and Ron didn't really abandon her. She pretty much pushed them away in an effort to convince them that she was alright. After a while, they just gave up trying to help and let her be.