Mass Effect is the property of Bioware.

Well, it certainly has been a long few months. Unfortunately, my laptop began to have some serious problems in late December, and eventually gave out altogether. Several frustrating months and over a thousand dollars later, however, I am back and can resume regular updates. Thank you for bearing with me.

An inextricable running theme throughout Jack's (admittedly short) life so far: Nothing ever went right.

The bank job back on Aegis had degenerated into a twelve-way Mexican standoff that resulted in her entire running crew dead, the shipjacking over Arcturus had gotten her thrown into Purgatory, killing her attackers in Purgatory had gotten her locked down in cryo, getting off that godforsaken prison ship had dropped her onto a Cerberus vessel in the midst of a suicide mission, and finishing the mission in question had just led to a Kasumi cockblock and another on-the-run situation. One in which she was way, way over her head, judging from what had just happened in Audacity.

She pulled a syringe from a pouch on her belt, checked it just to be sure. Seeing that it was still filled with the familiar gray gleam of medigel, the convict tapped a bubble out of the syringe and slid the needle into her side, close to the sharp pain in her ribs. The sensation was cool, and a little relaxing – cold comfort next to the pain, but Jack would take what she could get.

Kasumi, in the meantime, had taken the liberty of answering the call from Liara T'Soni. She kept her communicator set to 'audio only', making sure that there were no projections of the asari's image within the cab. This was...perhaps a bit paranoid, as they were moving through the air with enough speed to be very difficult to track indeed, but considering everything that had happened in the previous day, no one in the cab had any objections whatsoever. "Kasumi here. We're alone; what've you got for us?"

"Some urgent news related to your problem with Mr. Hock," came the response. Immediately, all three leaned in to listen more closely – Liara's voice was nearly drowned out by some kind of whirring in the background. Probably a set of hard drives, Jack reasoned. Information brokers tended to have a ton of networked terminals, after all. All the better to store the data they collected. "You might have to scrap the plan altogether. It looks like he's traveling to the Citadel tomorrow, and he'll be meeting with someone from the Alliance to sell that graybox."

Kasumi's shoulders slumped with the weight of anticipated despair, and it was quiet in the cab for an uncomfortably long moment. Finally: "He's cracked it?"

"I'm almost positive he hasn't. Hock's transmissions are claiming he has data that could potentially embarrass the Alliance, but he doesn't drop a single clue as to what it could be. If I had to make a guess, I'd say that right now the only reason they're entertaining a meeting with him is his status."

"That makes sense," Thane put in. "If you're going to blackmail someone, you need to convince them that the information you have is potentially damaging. He isn't specifying, because he can't - he doesn't know what's in the graybox."

"Right. I don't know what your new plan will be, but you might be interested in hearing that he's holding one of his trademark soirees in two days when he arrives. Sending the details to your omnitool now." Sure enough, the omnitool lit up with a 'message received' indicator. All Kasumi had to do was download the data attachment. "I took the liberty of getting your two partners-in-crime onto the guest list...they're well-known figures in the kind of circles Hock dips his fingers in, so it won't seem suspicious if you show up."

"Thanks," said Kasumi, sounding a touch less ragged from stress. "That ought to help out , at least."

"I've got some more information on events going around the Citadel that might be pertinent, anything you might use to infiltrate the party," the asari added. "Sending it now."

Strangely, this time there was no corresponding notification. "Um..." The thief scratched at the back of her hood. "I'm not getting it."

"That's odd. Feron, where's the supplementary Hock files?"

"Huh? They're right there," came the voice of Liara's drell assistant, the one they'd met at the office. He sounded distant, off in the background somewhere. "I gave them to the drone so it could transfer them to your—

"I delete data like that on the way to real errors," announced a familiar voice.

"Feron!"

"It's not my fault!" Feron protested. "I didn't know the VI would...hold on, I'll try to run a recovery process."

Liara's voice was now tinged with more than a little frustration. "I'm sorry about that, Ms. Goto. I'll get the extra files to you as soon as possible. In the meantime, do you have transportation?"

At last, Jack spoke up. "To the apartment? No, we can't go back there, the jackoffs that blew up Audacity are probably watching it-"

"We have transportation arranged to the Citadel, yes," Thane broke in. "We'll relocate immediately. Thank you for your assistance, Dr. T'Soni."

"Of course. Liara out."

Jack stared as Kasumi put the comm away. He had just...all right, so it was kind of a dumbass move on her part to assume Liara hadn't been talking about the Citadel, but Thane had just taken this in stride and decided they were headed there anyway. And Citadel visits were always a pain; you had to get through customs and security, and you had to deal with C-Sec, and who knew how long they'd be there tying up Kasumi's loose ends now, when all they'd previously had to do was go blow up some villa in Bekenstein.

Thane glanced over to her. "Jack, if you would, please tell your associate that we could make use of that ship he offered us now. The sooner we leave, the better, I expect."

And he'd just decided they were going to do it, like it was the most natural thing in the world, not at all like a trip to the Citadel. Like it was the only choice they had. What was so wrong with just letting Kasumi go there and deal with it? She had an opportunity now, so couldn't they cut her loose and-

"Siha?" The assassin had leaned forward to peer at her, his eyes tinged with concern. "Are you all right?"

She blinked. Swallowed her frustrations. Making a scene in front of Kasumi would only make both of them think worse of her, and while Jack didn't give a company fuck what the thief thought, Thane was a different story altogether.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll call and get the docking bay number."

But the look that Jack cast over her companions as she dialed the number was anything but acquiescent.

Their transportation to the Citadel turned out, unexpectedly, to be a small civilian freighter crewed by more of the silent, masked henchmen from earlier. As far as the group could make out, it didn't even have any weapons. On the one hand, if they got jumped on the way to the Citadel, that could be something of a problem. On the other, it'd make them less suspicious to C-Sec and, if Hock or whoever was chasing Jack was looking for them, an unarmed merchant vessel would probably be the last place they checked.

So it was that they set off for the Citadel, and would hopefully arrive there around the same time Hock did. It wasn't terribly likely (he was coming from Bekenstein, after all, and had something of a head start on them), but as long as they could catch up before the party started, they would be okay.

Well, okay as far as pulling off the 'heist' went.

Jack's room was a standard crew cabin – much less spartan than her Normandy accommodations. Still, that meant less open space to maneuver in if need be, and a few months ago she'd have complained that it left her in closer proximity to the rest of the team and they could now come and annoy her more easily. That was…perhaps not as much of a concern as it had once been.

That does not, dear reader, imply that things were peachy keen between the convict and her 'teammates'. Not even remotely. In fact, the first three hours of the trip were spent pacing around her cabin as she ruminated on the state of affairs between her and Thane…and Kasumi now, she supposed, because this really seemed to have become some kind of three-way relationship at some point, given the amount of time and effort they were expending on someone they barely knew. She wasn't quite insecure enough to think that Thane had romantic designs on the thief, but…

She should go up and talk to him. Draw the line in the sand. Tell him it was her or Kasumi. Wait, no. No, that would be unreasonable. He'd been remarkably insightful so far; as far back as the Normandy, he'd understood things about her that most people didn't – that she didn't need 'saving' being the foremost among them. Maybe, with time, he'd come to realize that he was being neglectful about it…but maybe not. He was only human – well, figuratively speaking. And he hadn't realized it about his wife and son.

Jack flopped down onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling, not quite able to suppress a frustrated growl. Goddammit, this was impossible to decipher. Should she go talk to him about it? What if she only made things worse, overplayed the 'you're dying' card? (People probably didn't like to be reminded of that, after all.) Relationship dynamics were pretty much a total unknown, and Jack didn't take well to unknowns at all. Or new things, which her current situation definitely was. In fact, it was both of those simultaneously, which pretty much spelled 'forbidden territory'.

An illustration: at the beginning of her tenure with the Normandy, she had dabbled in poetry after reading an extranet article that claimed artistic expression was a healthy outlet for frustration and inner turmoil (two things Jack had in spades). She'd painstakingly composed a few free-verse pieces over the course of two weeks, ten days of which had been spent meticulously revising and editing several lines until she felt they had just the right word choice. In the end, to Jack's surprise, it had worked out some frustration; maybe not as much as punching a hole in some dumbass from the Blood Pack would, but she felt a certain catharsis from the act, and (modesty notwithstanding), the finished product had been pretty damned good. After agonizing over whether it was that good for a few minutes, she'd taken the plunge and submitted the best of the lot to Galactic Poetry Monthly.

It came back two days later with a rejection notice. Some shit about 'metered verse'. Feeling personally betrayed on a variety of levels, Jack had sent back a hasty response along the lines of "fuck your metered verse and fuck you", destroyed the terminal in a fit of pique, and responded to EDI's subsequent lecture about vandalism to Cerberus property with a warp to the holo projector. She'd never written again.

The incident had served to reinforce what she already knew: new things, if she didn't know she could succeed spectacularly at them on the first try, were something Jack avoided at all costs.

Relationship discussions were one of those 'new things'. Barring their long talk before the Omega-4 relay, she'd never really tried to talk about this kind of thing before, and even that conversation had been a mess – an awkward fumbling in the miserable dark for both of them until they'd finally just given up on words and clung together in the darkness of the cargo hold.

Was the risk of alienating him further worth it, as bad as she knew she was at that kind of thing?

Jack sighed and rolled over onto her side, hugging her knees to her chest. No, if this had been a situation that required her to go out and crack some heads, she'd already have been out the door, but trying to talk about feelings and shit, particularly in light of her frustrations with Thane's fixation on helping Kasumi, was only going to drive the assassin further away from her. She was out of her element. Maybe he'd come to her and talk about it…hell, maybe he'd figure it out on his own, or maybe they'd get done with this thing quickly enough that they could just put the whole incident behind them. But if he didn't…

For the second time that year, Jack gritted her teeth and swore inwardly at the incredible frustration that came from not having the first fucking clue what to do.

The Citadel, at least, was refreshingly familiar territory. It had been a little under a month since the trio had last been there, and was the same bustling space-metropolis, whatever reassurance that might provide. Their freighter docked at the Tayseri keel, leaving its passengers to head out into the station proper and form a plan of attack.

As promised, Liara had provided them with a serviceable hideout on the Citadel and kept up a steady flow of information (no thanks to Feron's bugged Shepard VI), and that intel included a mention of the venue where Donovan Hock's party would take place. It was a lavish hotel in the upper Kithoi ward, the Grand Matriarch, and he would be renting out the ballroom for the night…which suggested this was going to be a fairly small affair (at least by Hock's standards), otherwise he would have used a convention center or something crazy. This was a double-edged sword: while there were less potential complications to worry about, it also meant that any suspicious behavior or individuals would stick out more.

"Well," Kasumi declared, unconsciously imitating the Thinker pose, "getting in will be easy. Getting out…might be a bit more complicated."

The thief had insisted on coming by to 'case' the hotel, which was somewhat redundant in light of the fact that their intel featured a decent set of floor plans. Still, here they were, repeatedly circling the block on which the building sat and memorizing the number of potential entrances to the ground floor.

Jack turned a well-practiced glare on Kasumi. "Look, we're on the guest list." That much was true; she and Thane had invitations, courtesy in equal parts of Liara and their rather fearsome reputations. "We'll keep Hock distracted and watch for the graybox, and you can sneak around and see where he's keeping it. Easy."

"We might even offer to buy it," Thane added, "which could cause him to drop clues to its whereabouts."

"Or shoot us for constantly riding his ass about the graybox," Jack replied, perhaps just a touch harsher than was necessary. She didn't know whether to feel vindicated or guilty over the drell's nonplussed blink – he did look at least a little hurt by her curtness. "Speaking of which, when shit goes down and people start shooting – don't look at me like that, you know it will – what's the plan?"

"Well…" The thief scratched at her chin. "I'm sneaking in with the cloak, so I can bring my Locust, but the two of you…hrm." They left the hotel and began to meander down the street, back in the direction of their temporary hideout. As the trio passed by the Kithoi C-Sec hub, Kasumi spoke up again. "On second thought, they'll probably let you carry pistols in. And you have biotics…"

"And the Eclipse working security," replied Thane, "will have assault weaponry, plus their numeric advantage. There will also be other armed guests who could potentially be a problem, should a firefight break out."

"True. If I could figure out a way to smuggle some weapons in…" She trailed off as they passed the C-Sec hub, as it wouldn't do to be talking about that kind of thing in front of law enforcement. Their path was blocked, however; an elcor, having plodded out of the hub, was taking up the entire sidewalk as he muttered imprecations at the C-Sec officers who had escorted him out.

"Uh…" Kasumi cleared her throat. "Excuse me."

There was no response.

"Sir?"

No response.

"Hey, asshole!" Jack bellowed, one fist lighting up with a biotic sheath. "Clear out or get cleared out, your choice."

"Startled: Bwuh?" The elcor turned to face them, and at last the trio got a glimpse of his face. It was…unremarkable, being an elcor, but their eyes were drawn to something unusual: he wore a pair of red-tinted sunglasses, posed jauntily atop his mouth-flaps. "Frazzled: Oh. I didn't see you there. I was busy cursing the establishment. I'll move on."

Kasumi's eyes widened beneath her hood. "Wait. I know you!" she exclaimed, stepping up closer. "Well, maybe not you per se, but the shades, definitely. You're Nockrick Taur!" To Jack's considerable bewilderment, the thief sounded like a kid on Christmas morning, all bubbly with enthusiasm. "Look, you don't know me – you wouldn't believe me if I told you who I am – but I'm your biggest fan, seriously."

Nockrick blinked. "Surprised: Really?"

"Yes, really! That prank where you switched the Crown of Neris with a tub of popcorn-"

"Helpfully: It was a social experiment."

"…right, that social experiment was masterful! And then I saw you on the news the other day and they said you'd infiltrated a performance of Hearts On Breaking Shore and then turned off all the translators."

"Gleefully: And then hit the fire alarms, yes," the elcor replied. "Smugly: I took their technological dependence and turned it on its head. The galaxy will never forget the expressionist coup d'etat that I carried out." He glanced over at the hub, his mouth flaps twitching with agitation. "Annoyed: Of course, the people who protect the establishment didn't see it that way."

As the human and the elcor began walking down the sidewalk, discussing past exploits all the way, Jack turned a confused glance to Thane. "The hell just happened?"

"With Kasumi," the drell replied, "I find it's usually better not to ask questions, siha."

"With pompous self-assurance: people underestimate an elcor's ability to move unseen," Nockrick was explaining. "They don't understand that as a man of charisma and panache, I'm capable of social engineering my way into anywhere I want to go. Unabashed grandiloquence: You don't need high-tech breaking and entering equipment when you're as good at blending in as I am."

"Well, it helps to have the equipment," Kasumi mused. "So what's next on your agenda? Got any more capers planned?"

"Deviously: I'm glad you asked. I heard that Donovan Hock, the famous arms trafficker, is coming to the Citadel, and I thought I'd take him down a peg."

Jack nearly tripped over herself.

"Uh…you don't say!" Kasumi's poker face was terrible. She'd get cleaned out in any casino on Illium. Fortunately, the elcor was much too absorbed in the details of his plan to notice. "Was, ah, was there a particular way of doing so that you had in mind?"

Nockrick paused and glanced around surreptitiously before drawing the three of them closer. "With hushed secrecy: I know the company he's going to use to do the catering for his party," he explained. "So I'm going to switch the cake with a different one. It'll be a huge, hollow cake, like the kind that people have at bachelor parties, and he'll be expecting an asari stripper to jump out of it. With great relish: But it won't be an asari stripper. It'll be a LOKI mech I've reprogrammed with a sign around its neck that says 'Smash the military-industrial complex'. He'll be so embarrassed. Risibly: Ha. Ha."

Jack, Thane, and Kasumi shared a glance.

This was big. If Nockrick had a way of getting catering crates in, they could stash weapons in those crates – weapons that would even the odds between them and Hock's security.

The convict's mind raced. Even better, if they could…

"You said it's a hollow cake?" she asked Nockrick.

"Firmly: It is."

"Okay. Okay, I think…" Jack rubbed at the back of her head, right over her implant. A few details were questionable, but she was fairly confident in the plan that had hastily assembled itself within her mind. "I think I have a better idea. Uh…if you're interested in it, I mean."

Thane raised a browridge. "What's the idea?"

She told them.

"Ah…" The assassin shifted uncomfortably. "Are you certain about that?"

"That's pretty high-risk," Kasumi admitted, biting at her lip.

Nockrick's reaction was the polar opposite. "Triumphantly: It's perfect," he droned. "With giddy malice: It's even more appropriate and ironic than my idea was."

The biotic fixed him with an 'are you out of your mind' look. "Yeah, great, I'm glad it's ironic and all, but, uh, if we modify your prank like this-"

"Assertively: It is a social experiment," the elcor insisted.

"-if we modify your social fucking experiment, do you think you can still pull it off?"

"With unmitigated pomposity: Of course I can pull it off. I'm Nockrick Taur." Somehow, he managed to look smug despite being from a species with no discernable facial expressions. "Concerned: But we'll need another person, won't we? Unless one of you is going to…"

"No," Jack cut him off, pulling out her comm. "Trust me, I've got that taken care of."

Thane gingerly rested a hand on the convict's shoulder. "Siha? Are you sure about this?"

"Positive," she said flatly. "Gonna call in the best favor I've got left."

The holo of Urdnot Wrex folded its arms, which was a very impressive accomplishment in light of the diminutive, t-rex-like size of krogan arms. "If your timetable's right," he rumbled, "we're going to need to rebuild the fleet quickly, and that won't be easy. Not just because of ships…we'd need to train people to pilot them if we had them. You'd be surprised how many krogan don't know how to work a warship."

"He has a point, Commander," Miranda agreed, lowering her datapad.

Shepard sighed. "You don't have any caches left over from the Rachni Wars? I mean, we can't manufacture enough ships to matter within the time we have…" He ran a hand over his closely-shaven scalp. "Actually…wait. Maybe the geth can help on that front?"

"Geth?" Wrex snorted. "That'll take some explaining."

"It might work, though, as long as we can get them to work together." The Cerberus liason chuckled ruefully. "Granted, we're already going to be jumping through hoops to ensure quarian-geth cooperation, so what's one more step?"

"Miranda's right," Shepard said with a nod. "Wrex, see if you can get a feel for how much the rest of the krogan trust you at this point, if what you tell them about the geth will be taken as fact, and then maybe we can-" He broke off as EDI's hologram popped up. "What's up, EDI?"

"Your presence is required in the CIC to deal with a leave request," the AI announced.

"…Huh. Okay, I'll be right there." The commander rose and hurried to the door. "I'll be back for you two in just a minute. See if you can work something out about the geth, think of another source of ships, whatever."

There was exactly thirty minutes of silence in the room after he had left. At last, the krogan spoke up. "Hey. Lawson."

Miranda's gaze flicked up from her datapad. "Yes?"

Wrex leaned forward, a tremendous sense of gravitas filling his eyes.

"Who would win in a fight between you and Shepard?"