Another Bush song of the same theme as the song I used of theirs previously. So I thought I would set a new precedent and do a second chapter to a songfic. I like to do a concluding chapter, like a little trilogy if I could find a proper Bush song. I don't think I will, but… I've been on an emo death kick for the last few days. Sorry.

Song here is "Out of My Mind" by Bush. You should listen to it while you read. I bet it'll be bone chilling. I want this song played at my funeral.

He should hate this man. But no matter how hard Leo tried, he couldn't muster the feeling. All he felt was hollow. Maybe hospitals made everyone feel that way. Why did Kevin Shepherd get to die here in a comfortable hospital bed?

Don had called him over an hour ago telling him that Raph was bleeding to death in an alley next to a dumpster. He must be dead by now. He should go home.

His brother had died in a dirty alley. And Kevin Shepherd would die here in the hospital. Leo looked at the cables and IV lines that were pumping fluids into his body, keeping him alive.

Leo knew his duty was at home, but he didn't care. He knew Raph would do the same for him.

He looked towards the hospital room door, checking for nurses. But maybe this was better. Maybe this was the intended path for Raph. He was always fighting against life for some reason or another.

When we die
We go in to the arms of those
Who remember us
We are home now
Out of our heads
Out of our minds
Out of this world
We're out of this time

"He wants you here with him, but he won't last more than a few minutes," Don had said into the phone. Don't bother, in other words. He'd heard the sounds of the ambulance in the background and his feet had taken him to the hospital.

Why did Don get to be with him in his last minutes? He should have been there. It was his right. He loved him the most. But that wasn't right, he thought, pushing the flaring grief aside. He was here with a goal. Then he would go home and take care of Mikey.

Kevin had a few bouquets of flowers. Leo pulled the tiny card out of one of the vases and read, "I love you, Mom." Even though you're a murderer, he thought.

What was the last thing he had said to Raph? He'd asked him if he knew where the model airplane glue had gone. He suspected that he'd hid it. Raph thought the glue stank and said that it gave him a headache. Had he ever told him he loved him?

He didn't think so.

Are you drowning or waving?
I just want you to save me
Should we try to get along?
Just try to get along
So we move
We change by the speed of the choices that we make
And the barriers are all self-made
That's so retrograde

There's no time to think about that. He drew his katana and pulled back the sheets. He had broken his family and dishonored his clan. This one, stupid man had broken him half without ever touching him. He would pay. Kevin Shepherd from the Bronx couldn't be allowed to live. He would die in his white cushioned hospital bed. Raph had bled to death slowly for hours by himself.

What would they do with Raph's body? They couldn't allow it to ever be found. They couldn't bury him. There was really nowhere to bury him in a sewer anyway. Maybe Don would incinerate him.

Raph isn't his body, he told himself as he let his katanas fall to the side. He couldn't image life without it, living or dead. It was like there was a solid barrier at the point when Raph didn't physically exist and nothing existed beyond it either. True, he smelled like a musty shower and had to practically be forced to brush his teeth. And he always left half eaten, uncovered tuna cans sitting in the refrigerator and it made everything taste like fish. And he left his napkins in his empty plates and filled the sink with water and then left them there for days on end until it was a moldy mess.

He used to bite when they were young. If he wanted a toy, wanted the biggest piece of meat at dinner, wanted to be on the top bunk, wanted to be next in the bathroom. He just bit them. Mostly Leo anyway. He still had scars on his fingers. He looked down at his hands, but they were blurry from the tears.

Are you drowning or waving?
I just need you to save me
Should we try to get along?
Just try to get along

But he wouldn't cry now. He was going to take out this Kevin Shepherd whose mother loved him and had an aunt named Sally who had sent him a balloon. Because Raph would do the same for him. Because Raph would have hunted this man down and utterly destroyed him. Because he could sing the entire Johnny Cash songbook. Because once he had peed on a chair while he was sleepwalking. Because he used sarcasm as a shield to protect himself.

He would finish it quick. Then go home and see him before Don figured out what to do with his body. Before he didn't exist anymore. He would try to memorize his smell. Find an analog before he forgot him.

I am alive
I'm awake to the trials of confusion we create
There were times I feel when we're about to break
When there's too much to say
We are home now
Out of our heads
Out of our minds
Out of this world
We're out of this time

Leo held his katana up in the air and just as he made the first movement to bring it down and cleave off Kevin Shepherd's head, he heard his cell phone ringing. He couldn't be heard. He couldn't let anyone know he was here. Leo climbed out the window and hid out of sight in case a nurse came by.

He'd missed his chance. He'd failed. Raph would have taken the hit, damned be the consequences. That's why they weren't the same.

Leo answered, but didn't say anything. His voice didn't work at the moment and there didn't seem to be any words to say anyway.

"Where are you?" Don said, in a squeaky voice. "Somebody wants to talk to you."

Master Splinter. Leo didn't want to talk to him and explain where he was right now. Maybe if he hung up he could pretend that the call had been dropped.

"What happened? Did you have to hurry off to a hair appointment?" It was Raph's voice. Raph wanted him home. He didn't stop to wonder at how Raph was talking to him now. He didn't care.

"I'll be right there." He didn't recognize his own voice. His face was covered in tears and his throat was full.

"Just leave him," Raph said.

As Leo ran home, he wondered if Raph would have left Kevin Shepherd sleeping in his bed. Probably not. That's why they were different.