Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

A/N: This is my second two-shot, but it's my first lemon-based -shot whatsoever. I know I should be updating my other stories, but I had inspiration for this, and you know how writers are when they're inspired… ;P The first part is mostly humor, and the second part will be humorous, too, but that's when the LEMON comes in! :D I hope you like it and will review, telling me what you think so far! :)

The Benefits of Tutoring

Two-Shot

Part I

"Higurashi-san— Aw, fuck it. Kagome, you're failing at life—err, I mean, math. Yeah. You suck at math—and having friends, apparently. That, too."

Those were the words she'd been dreading ever since she got her last few grades back. To be entirely honest, she'd even dreamed of hearing those words, except it was more of a nightmare than anything else. She had nights where she imagined herself drowning in numbers, equations, expressions, variables—such horrible scenes, those were. Yet, hearing the actual words tumble out of Tsubaki-sensei's mouth…

She wanted to crawl under her bed and die five times before Buddha gave mercy upon her soul and let her pass on to the big hamster wheel in the sky…

Uh, Heaven. She meant "Heaven". Either way, those words weren't the best to hear.

"And not just 'failing'," her teacher continued indifferently. "I mean, totally sucking at this class— No. Failing miserably. I'm actually surprised you haven't slit your wrists yet over these completely depressing scores you've been getting."

Those words, too. They didn't feel so good to hear, either.

It unnerved Kagome, sent a sudden sense of trepidation down her spine, making the hairs on her neck stand alert. Or maybe she felt that way because she could feel his eyes on her, just as they always were, waiting for her to finish whatever she was doing just so he could get on her last nerve.

"It's been happening for a few weeks now, but I thought it'd get better," the math teacher went on. "You know—that you'd improve."

Kagome's eye twitched in annoyance. WHY? she wanted to scream to her while shaking Tsubaki by the shoulders with wild eyes. WHY DID YOU WAIT TO TELL ME I WAS A FREAKING MATH-CHALLENGED IDIOT?

"Sadly," Tsubaki continued, clueless to Kagome's slight mental breakdown, "your daily homework assignments, lesson quizzes, chapter tests, semester one final, pop quizzes—especially the ones given out on Tuesdays—essays over the history of math, math report on Albert Einstein, and semester two final prep say otherwise. Let's face it: There's no hope. You're failing at this class, and if you don't pass it, you'll be failing at life."

Kagome had the biggest urge to jump off a bridge. More specifically, Tokyo Tower. Oh, yes; Tokyo Tower was looking awfully attractive these days…

"That's why I suggest you get a tutor as soon as possible."

Oh, thank you, sensei, Kagome thought sardonically. You are so useful right now, no sarcasm intended.

Her ass, "thank you".

Internally growling, Kagome bowed in respect to the young woman. "I'll take your advice, sensei." Oh, gods; even the word burned on her tongue.

Tsubaki scribbled something down on a sticky note before slapping it on Kagome's forehead. When the student went cross-eyed to stare at it, her teacher explained, "That's so you, a blonde in the closet, won't lose it like you did with your Chapter 6, Lesson 2 questions and Chapter 9 Test, which I don't know how you lost since we took the test right in the classroom, which only further proves my theory of your birth color being blond, but—"

"HAVE A GREAT EVENING, SENSEI!" Kagome yelled, making a beeline for the doorway. Of course, he tried to block her way, but luckily, she was much, much smarter than that and already used to the trick. Quickly, she slid on the marble floor underneath his legs, propping up on her own two limbs once she was out in the hallway. However, before she could make her getaway, two strong, tanned hands grasped her shoulders, jerking her back into an unwelcoming chest.

"Where're you goin', nerd?"

She groaned. It was him.

Takahashi Inuyasha.

The most popular, hottest guy at school. The one she'd been sworn enemies with since they were old enough to write calligraphy. The one who thought she was an in-the-dark Star Wars nerd just because she was smart and had the best grades in every subject—except math because, obviously, she sucked and failed at it.

Ah, you gotta love Tsubaki-sensei's way with words.

Yet, Inuyasha was also the one she wanted to fuck dry until his dick was blue.

FML.

Shoving herself away from him—and stumbling over her own two feet—she hissed, "Nowhere." Well, that was a lie, wasn't it? "I mean, home. You know—where my Jii-chan can purify your half-demon ass."

"Ooh, I'm so scared," Inuyasha exaggerated, waving his hands in the air as if afraid. Then he gave her a bored look. "Please, Kagome—" They never were the duo to use honorifics. "—a mouse could pose a bigger threat."

"You're right," Kagome said with a sneer, "because mice build colonies and colonies take down entire businesses, much like your father's."

"Ooh," Inuyasha wooed again, "burn. Really, nerd; you've wounded me."

She scoffed. "Miroku-copier."

"Math-idiot."

"Bastard."

"Bitch."

"Dickhead."

"Cunt."

"Your cunt."

"Miko wench."

"Dog-shit."

"Kouga's BJ-expert."

"WHY, I'D NEVER—"

"Want a tutor?"

She blinked. Then stared. Then blinked again. "I'm sorry," she laughed somewhat to herself. "But if I'm correct and grammatical analysis serves me right, did you just offer to tutor me?"

He smirked. "Yeah."

She blanched. "No." Then turned away and took off down the hall as if Frankie Muniz made a guest appearance on George Lopez.

…

She really hoped that never happened.

"You ran?" Sango asked again, sounding more than shocked. More like stunned that Kagome turned down a tutoring session with Inuyasha, whom she hated with her guts yet had a crush on ever since they learned of the birds and the bees. Or was it before that?

"Yes, I ran," Kagome confirmed for the third time, flicking her pencil tip against her head repeatedly, as if it could erase her stupidity. Unfortunately, it probably could not, for she was using the writing end, not vice versa. She sighed, gazing at her yellow walls again. Sango had also grown up with her, but was her best friend—her best friend who, sorry to say, was dating Inuyasha's closest pal Miroku. "I think he further hates me, which is okay for the most part, but my reading lemony fanfiction will not satisfy my hunger, dammit!"

"I hear ya," Sango agreed, nodding on the other line. She was doing her nails, unlike Kagome, who was trying to focus on her ultimately hopeless math homework while having a distracting phone conversation with her best friend. Evidently, she had her priorities straight. "But you do realize if you keep running from him and don't at least try to seduce him, you're fucking yourself over, right?"

Kagome sighed. "Over, sideways, and back," she agreed.

"Then don't keep running," Sango told her point-blank.

Kagome sighed—again. "I can't really take him back on that offer, though, oh smart-one," she informed her friend with a furrow of her eyebrows.

"Never fear, my lovely," a smooth masculine voice chimed on the other line. "I have already sent him to your premises to tutor you."

"Oh, hi, Miroku," Kagome greeted him uninterestedly. "You were listening the entire time like always, I suppose?"

"Yes," Miroku answered proudly. "And I have to say—"

"YOU CAN'T TELL HER!" Sango screamed, and then a bloodcurdling smash was heard in the background. "I'm sorry, Kags," Sango said after some panting and whimpers. "I'll call you around midnight on your cell."

Kagome stared at the wall for a moment, feeling she missed something in the conversation. Then, eyes widening with realization, she shrieked into the phone,

"YOU SENT HIM WHERE?"

A/N: That "dick was blue" part? It comes from Liz Phair's song "Flower". It's really nasty, so if you're a Miroku reincarnation, check that shit out. ^.^

So, Part One is finished, and school's tomorrow, so I now begin on homework and go to bed… *snore* STUDY SESSION AND LEMON'S NEXT CHAPTER, which will be out tomorrow! :D And I hope you've enjoyed it so far, and will stick around for Part Two. :)