Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or its characters. But I do own Aki.

Falling in love, it's a wonderful thing isn't it? The way your face turns red whenever they are near, the fluttery feeling you get in your stomach, the longing to be with them, wishing them their happiest, even if it cost your own. You can't wait to see the face of the one you love, to see their smile and their laugh. Just seeing them makes your day. But, what if the very person you love, does not realize your feelings, nor returns it. Of course, it would be nice if they love you back, but if you see them in their happiest, it would make you the happiest too, though it would hurt you.

"I will never regret meeting you, you always made me smile through sad and happy times, I care for you so much that I'm letting you go, please, even if you don't feel the same way, just be happy, for me Natsume , I can accept it if I am not your sun nor your light, but you'll always be mine, Natsume to see you smile is alright for me even if it hurts. –Mikan Sakura

"Morning Polka." My best friend, Natsume, greeted.

"Stop calling me Polka! You pervert." I said shaking a fist at him, but I didn't mean it, and he knew that too. He half smiled and took my hand as a best friend would.

"Come on."

"Yeah." I said blinded by his charm. I blushed. I've always loved him, dearly.

His Raven hair shines in the sun and his crimson eyes are alluring. He appears to be cold, but actually he isn't. And he is drop dead gorgeous. We met when we were 7 when I moved to this town.

Flashback:

I was taking a walk in the park when suddenly I tripped over a boy under a sakura tree, his raven locks fell over his handsome face and he had scarlet eyes that seemed to reflect my face.

"Hn, you clumsy polka." He muttered.

I raised a brow. Polka? Why did it sound so-?

"Pervert! I accused him when I realized what it meant.

"Tch, you were the one who showed it to me." The crimson eyed boy said.

I pouted and sat next to him. "What on earth are you doing?" he asked monotonously.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Tch, why should I tell you?" He said.

"I just got here and I want to be friends I'm Mikan." I said.

He rolled his eyes. "And why on earth would I want to be friends with you Polka?"

"How can you say that? I decided to forgive you about peeking into my underwear…" I continued to rant.

"All right shut up polka, I'll be your friend, just stop nagging," he said irritated.

"It's M-i-k-a-n." I said.

"What ever Polka" He said. "My name is Natsume."

End of flashback

That was when we met, and how I got polka as my nickname. So here we are eighteen year olds in college, more than 11 years of friendship, more than 5 years of loving him. If you're asking why I haven't confessed, well-

"Oh, hi Natsume, Mikan." Aki Satou said.

He smiled at her. Natsume's smile was full of love, and his eyes were full of yearning and longing. She smiled too. And they were in their own world. My heart wrenched, he smiles at me, but that smile is for her, simply for her, just for her.

The reason why I haven't confessed is Aki Satou. She is Natsume's childhood friend, and she knew Natsume longer than me. She has long caramel hair and emerald eyes. She is the campus "Princess". Aki is utterly beautiful, smart and talented. I am absolutely nothing compared to her. She was the one who opened up Natsume's heart, not me.

It was when his parents got killed in an accident and he started drinking heavily and smoking. He would not listen to me, but he listened to Aki, with her gentle and encouraging words, he finally calmed down, and returned to his ways. I'm grateful that she did that, and that was why he was so close to her, protecting her from absolutely anything, even risking his life for her.

After he finished talking to her, we both went under the tree where he reads his manga. I stared at him, he has grown much more handsome that he did before, his face was now traced with maturity and he was a good 5'9. All the girls in the university drool over him, but he doesn't care.

If he really loves her, then I should give up. I thought

I fidgeted, wondering if I should ask what he thinks about her.

"What do you think about Aki?" I suddenly asked.

Natsume removed his face from the manga. "What?" he asked. I gulped.

"What do you think about Aki?" I repeated.

"I care for her." He said simply.

Is that really all Natsume? I don't think so. My mind said.

"Do you love her?" I inquired.

He didn't reply. I sighed.

"Natsume loves Aki." I said quietly. It took him a while to respond.

"So what if I do?" he said softly. I fought back the tears that were threatening to come out. I put on that bubbly façade.

"Haha! Nat-chan likes Aki!" I teased anything to stop my tears.

"Polka what the hell are you saying?" he said turning red.

I pinched his cheeks. "Aw, Natsume's a big boy now, but you better get her quick, Aki-chan is really pretty and many boys like her, make your move Nat-chan." I said fake smiling.

Natsume slapped my hand away.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked. I bowed my head. Suddenly his face was tight with concern.

"Mikan what's wrong?" he asked reaching his hand which I slapped away.

"No, something just got into my eye. Bye." I said smiling and left.

"Mikan!" he called out, but I didn't look back; I needed to find a place where I could cry,

You love him so damn much. A voice in my head said.

That was the truth. My heart replied.

Comfort room

"Mikan, is something wrong?" a voice asked. I raised my head and saw Aki.

"No." I said wiping my tears.

"You can tell me, I'll listen." She said her face full of concern.

"Thanks but really there's nothing wrong." I said forcing a smile. Aki pulled me into a hug.

"Shh, Mikan, if you don't want to tell me, it's alright. But you can go ahead and cry." She said softly.

She's gentle, just what Natsume needs. He is in good hands. I thought.

"Thanks." I said.

"You're welcome." Aki said.

If he can be happy with this girl, well I should help. I resolved.

"Ne, Aki, can you meet me under the sakura tree tomorrow?" I asked.

"Huh? What for?" she asked confused.

"Please come, it's a request." I said.

"Okay then." She said.

I left and walked toward the gate. My phone rang.

"Hi sweetie, it's me." the voice said.

I smiled. "Hi mom." I said.

"So, how's school?" She asked.

"Fine." I said.

"Say, Mikan, do you want to come here to Paris? I need some help and my associates also want to meet you." Mom asked.

"I'll think about it." I said.

"Okay, bye, love you." She said.

"Love you too." I said and hung up.

I stared at the gray sky. "Paris, huh?"

And then again my phone suddenly rang,

"Hello?" I said through the speaker.

"You idiot, where the hell are you? I'm damn worried" It was Natsume's voice.

"Calm down, I just took a walk." I said.

"You suddenly looked sad, what happened?" he asked softly.

"Emotional troubles, but nothing you should concern about." I said casually.

Judging by the silence on the other line, I could tell he wasn't convinced, but he didn't inquire further.

"Okay." He said.

"Oh, yeah, come to the sakura tree tomorrow." I said.

"Huh?" Natsume asked.

"Well, got to go. Bye" I said and turned off the phone.

What are you doing? A voice in my head asked.

Helping the one I Love find his happiness. My heart replied.

At the sakura tree

I sat together with Natsume behind the tree. "Oi, polka just what are you planning?" he asked annoyed.

I let out a small smile. "You'll find out soon Nat-chan." I said quietly giving him a sad smile.

"Mikan you-"he started to say when Aki arrived.

"Ah, it's Aki." I said and gave her a slight wave; she returned the gesture and walked over to us. And when she reached the tree I stood up.

"Oh, I almost forgot. I have something to do. You guys enjoy it here alright? Bye." I said.

"Use this chance Natsume." I uttered softly. He looked at me, his crimson eyes full of surprise.

I watched from afar, watching Aki and Natsume.

I was far enough not to be seen but near enough to hear their conversation.

"Aki, I love you please go out with me." He said gazing at her intensely.

Aki blushed. "I love you too." she replied. Natsume held her creamy face and gently kissed her.

I smiled desolately and started walking slowly, with my heart in pieces.

Is that what you really want? The voice asked again.

No, it isn't. But it doesn't matter. My heart replied.

I dialled my mother's number. "Hello Mom, about your offer, I'll take it."

2 months later…

International Airport

"Mikan, are you really sure about this? Suddenly going to Paris." Natsume said.

I nodded. "Yes, mom wants me to help her with the business." I said.

He gave me a hug. "Good luck with Aki." I winked at him and went on my way.

Five years later

"Mikan, there's a phone call for you." Mom said.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"It's Natsume." she said.

That name, I haven't heard it in a long time. The person I loved the most.

"Hey." I said.

"Hey, How are you?" he asked.

"Fine." I said. "And you?"

"I'm doing great; I called to tell you to get your sorry butt back here and that Aki and I are getting married." Natsume said.

"Is that so? Well congratulations." I said, controlling my voice.
"So, can you come?" he asked. "It's next month."

I checked my schedule. I was free for 3 months.

"Sorry, I can't go. Work here is loaded." I lied.

"Oh." He said, his voice traced with disappointment.

"Don't worry Nat-chan, I'll send you a wedding gift don't be so sad." I said jokingly.

"That's not it." He said irritated.

"Haha. I was joking. But really, congratulations." I said. "Bye" and I hung up.

I dropped the phone to the ground and cried softly.

At the very least, one of us should get to be happy. I love you, good bye.

Loving someone is not about your happiness, it's about the one you love's happiness. If you truly love someone, set them free.

Please review.

Midnight Leo