For this story: "Behind the Scenes" usually represents scenes we did not know about and ultimately did not see, though the final two (4 and 5) are of situations we did know about; all these scenes, if included (with the exclusion of 2), would have ruined the overall the story.
"Deleted scenes," with the exception of deleted scenes 3 and 5, represents scenes we knew about but did not see; in other words, these scenes could have been incorporated into the story without ruining the overall story.

And as usual, this is the PG-13/PG-14 version. The intimacy scene between Cara and Kahlan is portrayed as if it were on basic television. The explicit version of their intimacy scene can be found at livejournal under the same title. Poem was altered a tiny bit as well.

Behind the Scenes 1

Cara paced back and forth, one hand under her chin, in the bedroom that had been provided to her during her stay in Aydindril. Panties lined her bed, and plenty were on the floor. Purple, pink, silky, rough, it did not matter. All versions were useless to her by morning, when it seemed her need for the garments would cease. All versions except those belonging to the one woman, Kahlan Amnell. She stalked to the bed and picked up a pair of Kahlan's panties. Rubbing a hand along them first, she soon sniffed them like there was no tomorrow. "Kahlan," she thought. She was in deep and she knew it. For the past week now, she had been stealing women's panties, but especially the Mother Confessor's...the one named Kahlan Amnell. And now Kahlan may soon find out. Earlier in the day, she had asked Cara to help her catch the panty thief. Little did the brunette know...that panty thief was staring her right in the face.

Cara sat on the bed and sighed. "What is wrong with me?" She really wanted to know the answer to that question. Sure, when dared by one of her Mord-Sith sisters years ago, she'd danced naked in front of an elderly couple before killing them, which was painful because she hated dancing. A year before that, once her back was turned, she'd been knocked in the head with an agiel by a young brat she was training and had become the laughing stock of the Mord-Sith temple for the rest of day. And then there was that time when Lord Rahl had laughed her out of his bedroom when she insisted she did not know he required her mouth touch every part of him. But she was much younger then, and none of that was as embarrassing as being forced to steal Kahlan's panties. The one woman she desired more than any other was now being forced upon her through magical means. Wicked means. Not that she minded holding and sniffing such wondrous drawers, she did not want it to be like this. She wanted Kahlan to offer up her panties willingly and say, "Here, Cara, you may sniff my panties."

Cara suddenly frowned at that thought. She wanted Kahlan's permission to sniff her damn panties? What was she, a dog?" Cara nearly growled. "Ugh, the person who cast this spell must die." And she was quite sure Zedd had been right about it being a spell. She hated this stupid urge to snatch up female undergarments, but at the same time…it had made her more aware of her feelings for Kahlan, and they were definitely more than sisterly feelings.

A knock came at the door and Cara nearly yelled at the person to go away, but she heard a familiar voice. "It's Richard," came the almost-singing affirmation.

Cara's eyes went wide. "Um, just a moment." Quickly, she scooped up an armful of panties and ran to her closet, opening it and trying to stuff them in. But her closet was too full with undergarments already and the material was spilling out everywhere. Damn it! She braced herself against the closet, bending down to pick up the several panties that had seeped out, and finally managed to seal all the panties back inside the confines.

Cara moved back from the wood, then looked to the floor; there were still a good number of panties scattered all about.

"Cara, what's taking so long, my dear," said Richard from behind the door.

Cara sneered. "Dear"? What in the Creator's name was wrong with Richard?

She scooped up an armful of panties off the floor and then dashed to her bed, stuffing the undergarments under there. Back and forth, back and forth.

"Cara? Come on now, Cara. Cara. Cara. Cara. Cara. Cara."

Cara rolled her eyes at Richard's persistence. And wait a damn second. What was that?

"Cara, lala-lala, Cara, lala-lala?"

Richard was singing? Singing her name? She ground her teeth together violently. Oh, yes, she would have to murder the person behind this madness.

Cara stood with the last armful of panties, and, not knowing what else to do with them, threw them over her shoulder...out the window.

Outside, the wind carried the panties to different parts of the streets. One pair hit a scrawny fellow planting flowers along the road; he pulled the drawers from his face and thanked the Creator for the answer to spicing up his and his wife's sex life. Another pair landed before an elderly man walking with a cane; he snatched them up and mumbled something about this being the most "action" he'd had in years. One of the final pairs, a most revealing design, found its way to a little girl who shocked her mother when she said she wanted to wear pretty stuff like that when she grew up.

Back in Cara's room, Cara leaned near the window and grinned toward the door. "Come in, Richard."

The door flew open, Richard using his feet to slide toward her. Quill and piece of cloth in hand, he moved into her personal space before halting. Cara smirked, looking down at the objects in his grasp. "We'll have to get you a scroll," she said.

He waved her off. "No, no, no time for that." Smiling wide, and then moving close to her face only to laugh madly in it, he sneaked back just a bit.

"Richard, why are you acting like a child who knows something I don't?"

Richard looked down, fidgeting with the cloth and quill. "Because... Because..."

"Because what?" Cara had nearly lost her patience.

He looked up to stare her in the face, eyes pleading. "I need help...with...with pleasures of the flesh."

"Pleasures of the flesh?" Cara seemed somewhat confused as to what the Seeker was asking. He couldn't be asking what she assumed.

He looked from Cara, to the open door and then back to Cara again, whispering, "Yes, you know...bumping my parts with Kahlan's parts."

Heavens! He was asking it. Cara arched an eyebrow, and nearly giggled. She did not know what this spell had done to Richard, but he was both annoying and funny. "You need my help...making love to Kahlan?"

"Shhh," he said, looking toward the door again, and then back to Cara.

Cara was certain she was in over her head when it came to this annoyingly funny Richard, but she would try. She walked toward the open door, closed it, then moved back to her bed where Richard stood. "Sit down," she said. He did, but she did not bother to sit beside him. This Richard was somewhat unpredictable, and she did not need him trying to have "pleasures of the flesh" with her.

"Richard," she said. He had already started writing again, using a book near the bedstand as the backbone for his cloth. "You're not a virgin. And I'm fairly certain you are..." Richard was now humming as he wrote. Cara reluctantly continued, "...somewhat capable of pleasing women intimately. So why would you need my help?"

He grinned, now writing furiously, and not even attempting to look up at her. "Soon, my and Kahlan's wedding day will be upon us, and I want our love-making wonderfully planned out."

Cara placed her hands on her hips, looking down at Richard as if he were some foreign creature she'd never heard of. "Richard, it's better to act in the moment when it comes to..." She sighed, seeing that she would just be wasting her breath trying to discourage this version of Richard to cease and desist on this particular matter. "What seems to be the problem?"

Richard seemed to be nearly out of ink, and pulled out a small inkwell from his boot. "I'm not a virgin, but Kahlan..."

"Doesn't remember when you two... Right," continued Cara. She folded her arms across her chest. "And you've never been with someone so...pure."

Richard, his quill now inked up again, fell back against the bed and continued writing. "Exactly. And she never seems to get too excited whenever we're close to making the birds sing."

"The birds sing?" thought Cara. What a weird analogy for -

"Cara, I want her super excited when I pull her down on the bed, ready to ravish her. She says she's never too flustered because my face gives her calm. But, you see, I want her flustered. I wanted her wild and untamed."

Cara chuckled. That a boy.

"I want us to get crazy." Richard peeped out from behind his writing cloth, and arched his eyebrows up and down…provocatively at Cara.

Cara burst out laughing. She just couldn't handle it anymore. "Okay, okay listen." She thought for a moment. But then it hit her - Richard would soon be bedding the one woman she wanted. Could she just give him the information he needed and then stand by and let it happen? What choice did she have, though? The two would mate eventually. Hmm... But perhaps the mating didn't have to go well? She loved Richard like a brother, she did, and wanted to remain loyal to him, extremely so, but she couldn't very well have him bringing Kahlan to the throes of ecstasy. "Richard..."

"Yes," he said, still pinning down something on the cloth.

"I know what you must do..."

He waited for her answer patiently, still scribbling.

"Nothing," said Cara. She realized it wasn't the best plan to stop Richard and Kahlan from "making the birds sing." And, instantly, she placed a hand to her head. Goodness, now she was beginning to talk like him. But she needed to buy herself some sort of time until she could bed Kahlan first. It wouldn't be easy, given how wrapped up in the man Kahlan was, but she had noticed the Confessor looking at her in what she felt was more than a friendly manner...more than once, actually; it was almost like the Confessor wanted her. If Cara was any bit correct about those looks, then she had a chance.

"Cara, have you lost your mind?"

Now it was Cara's turn to peep out at Richard. She did, from behind the hand on her head, and he was looking at her with what seemed to be much clarity, the look non-fruity Richard would have given her.

"I cannot very well do nothing. Love-making is required. Expected. Wanted."

Curses! So he wasn't a complete idiot under this spell. Whatever... On to Plan B. "What I meant, Richard..." He'd already gone back to writing. "...is that you should do nothing that would cause her to become nervous. Take it as a good thing that she remains so calm in such close proximity as you." Cara smirked. "There are things - simple things - you could do to prepare her for the big event, however."

Richard shot up, back straight, and stared up at Cara. "Like what?"

Cara grinned, and finally sat down beside him, patting him hard on the back. "Here, let me tell you."

Deleted Scene 1

It was night and Zedd magically appeared in Kahlan's room. Earlier today, he had just told them all - Richard, Kahlan and Cara - of the spell that had been cast on them, and how he would try to break it. And yet here he was standing in Kahlan's room by her bed where he sensed the presence of cheese.

He looked over to the bed and saw that Kahlan was most certainly asleep, covers pulled up to her neck, and obviously quite snug. She was even stirring in her sleep, something Zedd found absolutely adorable. As he leaned over to kiss her on the head, she mumbled something; he couldn't make it out, but it sounded cute. His lips a breath away from her head, she spoke again, but clearly this time, which stopped Zedd in his place: "No, Zedd, I'm not talking about the mission, I'm talking about your breath... Please...get it under control... Smells like moldy old cheese."

Zedd yanked his head away from Kahlan's so fast one would think her face was on fire. He frowned, then turned his nose upward. How rude, he thought. In the future, he would no longer hold back in telling her just how much she smelled after a week's journey without access to a nearby stream.

He waved his hand over the drawer, made it open at will and levitated the cheese right out of the confines and into his hands. After that, he once again turned his nose upward at the raven-haired beauty and then magically disappeared from the room.

Behind the Scenes 2

It was noon and Richard stopped outside Kahlan's door, eager to use the skills Cara had provided him with. Skills to be used on his beloved, to help her get in "the mood."

After knocking and being invited in, he danced gracefully toward Kahlan, the scroll and quill in his hand responding beautifully to his every movement.

Kahlan giggled. "What is this all about?"

Richard beamed her way. "A poem for my true love."

Kahlan stood by her bed, and extended her hand with a smile as Richard handed her the scroll. She grinned down at the words without reading them. "You really shouldn't have."

Richard kissed her cheek and clasped his hands behind his back, eagerly awaiting judgment.

Kahlan tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear, and began reading the poem aloud:

My plan is devious

Such a devious, loving plan

To better further a goal that

I desire for my own hands

Do you plan it like I do?

So sweet-so wet

Yet hidden between the deviousness

That are your own legs

Your legs are closed to me

And it's teasing and unkind,

Remarkably out of line

To deny what is so deservedly mine

Maybe you should open them,

go on, give it a try

For this plan of mine I speak of

Will certainly try to pry

Pry them open, not to the world

But only to me

It is your rightful duty, my love

To please me, you see

So though I await our wedding night

For the biggest pleasure of all

I ask of you a little sample

Just a tiny sample of your walls

A look or a touch - my hands - or my lead

To help this devious plan of mine

Come forth and be appeased

Kahlan simply rolled up the scroll and smiled. "Richard?"

"Yes, my love," he grinned. "Oh, I knew you would love it. It speaks of the most passionate of intimacies. Of the most loving of all practices. Of the most beautiful of all-

Kick! Grind!

Richard fell to his knees, stiff as a board.

Kahlan walked over his now heaving body, and left him to cup his manhood in agony.

Deleted Scene 2

It was night and Richard quietly entered Kahlan's room. He was surprised that no one was standing watch outside her door, and decided he would have to talk to Cara about that soon. Right now, he was concerned with acquiring more scrolls and quills. Kahlan had told him that she had some extra scrolls and quills in her room, for she was also busy planning their wedding day. He smiled at the thought.

He looked over to the bed and saw that Kahlan was most certainly asleep, covers pulled up to her neck, and obviously quite snug. She was even stirring in her sleep, something Richard found absolutely adorable. He moved to her bed, and as he leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, she mumbled something; he couldn't make it out, but it sounded so cute. His lips a breath away from hers, she spoke again, but clearly this time, which stopped Richard in his place: "Spirits, Cara...you're so bad... Yeah, you are... Mm... But what about Richard?... Mmm... No, not there, Cara, Richard might find out."

Richard sighed. So sweet, he thought. Even as she sleeps, she plans our wedding. He moved to push a strand of hair out of her face and stood. Beside him were scrolls and quills on a dresser. He grabbed the utensils as quietly as he could, then walked out the room, beaming even brighter than before.

Behind the Scenes 3

It was day, and Cara had reentered the nearest clothing store. The one she had walked through earlier, with Kahlan as they browsed for various undergarments. Kahlan now waited outside, and Cara had told the brunette she left one of her agiels behind.

Cara had purposely done so, of course. Near the rack, she grabbed the panties Kahlan had tried on and moved to the store clerk.

Outside, Kahlan watched people pass by in the streets. She grinned. Did Cara think she was stupid? The Mord-Sith never forgot her agiels, and she knew why the blond had reentered the store. For her panties. The panties she had tried on, and then purposely decided not to purchase. This was a test, and Cara had failed. Cara was most definitely the panty thief. And Kahlan didn't know whether this angered...or excited her.

Back inside, Cara sneered at the female store clerk.

"I'm sorry, but those panties are from the used rack. Used panties are not for purchase, unless you are the one who used them," said the clerk. She was a plump woman, moles all over her face and one missing front tooth. She barely eyed Cara as she folded panties on the counter near her. She knew what to do. The Mother Confessor had given her orders to refuse the Mord-Sith access to these particular panties at all costs... Well, almost all costs. The plump woman smiled.

Cara looked down at the floor, frowned, then raised her agiel.

The plump woman smacked her teeth as if bored. "And don't even try to threaten me. I know the Mother Confessor will not tolerate you harming an innocent." She sighed. "Now either purchase something new, as in fresh. Or leave."

Cara panicked. She needed those panties. Kahlan's panties. With Kahlan's scent. She looked up at the woman, eyes pleading. "There must be something I can do."

At that, the plump clerk stared at the blond and grinned wide, missing front tooth and all. "I can think of one thing," she said, circling a hand near her exposed cleavage. Cara looked horrified. The woman continued anyway, "But we'll need to remain discreet. Don't want my husband finding out about this."

Cara, eyes big, tried to stifle a very sad whimper. She didn't want to bed this troll, but she needed those damn panties. Even though it was day, the panty spell seemed to work at all times as far as Kahlan was concerned. Defeated, she sighed and nodded in the plump woman's direction. The things she would do in the name of Kahlan.

The plump woman moved from behind the desk, and took Cara's hand into hers. "This way," she batted her eyes as if smitten. They moved to the back, to a secret room. A room Cara would never forget.

Several minutes later, outside, Cara emerged from the store with a grim expression on her face. Kahlan stood beside her. "What took so long?"

Cara, eyes focused on the ground and grasping both of her agiels tightly near her sides, shrugged. "Misplaced it farther than I thought."

"Where?"

"Not important."

Kahlan watched her carefully; it was almost as though the Mord-Sith had been rebroken. She wasn't sure why, but she hated the idea of Cara having been sexually intimate with another woman... Still, she thought, Cara deserved this for her brazen deceit. And what was the harm when the blond clearly had not enjoyed it?

Kahlan, doing her best to suppress giggles, moved to view Cara's neck. She saw a large, red circle marking the flesh; clearly a love-bite, referred to as a hickey in other parts of the land. "What's this?" she teased, touching a hand to it.

Cara winced, moving away from the contact. "It's nothing, Kahlan."

"But, it looks pretty bad. Maybe -"

"Shut up, Kahlan."

Cara moved ahead of her, grumbling about something under her breath.

Kahlan moved behind her, snickering silently.

Behind the Scenes 4

It was night and Cara quietly entered Kahlan's room. She'd had enough of the woman's taunting. And the accusations, even though true, only fueled her anger. She'd decided to taunt a little bit of her own, steal Kahlan's panties once again, and leave a note. The only reason she'd been able to stop for two nights before was because she'd locked herself in her room for a little while and had gotten "Kahlan high" off as many of the Confessor's panties as she could. Used...fresh...new, it did not matter; those panties were enough to kill the urge to steal more from the Mother Confessor for those two nights at least. But now she could no longer fight the urge. She needed those drawers.

She looked over to the bed and saw that Kahlan was most certainly asleep, covers pulled up to her neck, and obviously quite snug. She was even stirring in her sleep, something Cara found absolutely adorable. She moved to her bed, and as she leaned over to kiss the raven-haired beauty lightly on the cheek, the other woman mumbled something; Cara couldn't make it out, but it sounded so cute. Her lips just a breath away from Kahlan's, Kahlan spoke again, but clearly this time, which stopped Cara in her place: "No, Richard, I don't want to play 'Find the snake in your pants,' not tonight."

Cara made a most disgusted face, and yanked her head away from Kahlan's so fast one would think Kahlan had the plague. She stood, frowning down at the woman. Ugh, she thought. She was quite sure that mental image would never leave her mind.

Upset, she quickly grabbed all the panties from Kahlan's panty drawer, and replaced the absence with the note. "Damn near deserves this if she's been doing that with him," she remarked under her breath.

Shaking her head in disapproval once again at the brunette, she walked out the door, panties crowding her arms.

Deleted Scene 3

It was day, and Richard lay in Kahlan's arms sobbing, while holding his jaw.

"She punched me, Kahlan. Punched me!"

"Shhh," Kahlan soothed, raking fingers through his hair as they both rested on her bed.

"I was only minding my own business, saying what a beautiful day it was, and then bam!" He cried harder. "I was skipping along to you. But now I don't feel like skipping, Kahlan. Not anymore... She killed my skipping happiness." He cried louder. "How could she be so mean?"

"Shh... Shhh," Kahlan's eyes were on the door, still thinking about how she'd just slapped Cara. "I know... I know."

Deleted Scene 4

It was night, and now Kahlan was in her room naked, in bed, and pressed beneath Cara's equally naked form. After they had hastily discarded their clothes, she had repeatedly told Cara just how beautiful that form, Cara's form, was to her.

Cara wanted to take her, but Kahlan remained still.

"You're nervous?" Cara asked, green eyes blazing into her blue ones. "And a little too excited, am I right?"

"I've never been with a woman in this way...and... Yes," she sighed.

Cara knew exactly what to do. She looked to her right; she had seen it around here earlier. Ah, there it was. She removed herself from Kahlan, and Kahlan whimpered as Cara walked to the other side of the room. Kahlan could not help but eye Cara's ass. What a strong and firm ass it was.

"Got it," Cara said, coming back to lay atop Kahlan. Kahlan moaned at the sensation of flesh against flesh, milky soft skin against milky soft skin. "Look at this," said Cara, holding up a square object to Kahlan's face. Kahlan did, and saw that it was a small painting of Richard. A gift from Richard himself, she had kept it on a dresser near her other cherished gifts. Just staring at the image, though, made Kahlan relax, no longer overtaken by the excitement of Cara's touch. "Did the trick?" asked Cara, eyeing her seductively. Cara had listened to Richard, after all, and knew that the sight of Richard's face would squelch any arousal left in the brunette.

"Did the trick indeed," Kahlan said in a calm demeanor. She was finally able to focus again, and sat up slightly to suck at Cara's throat. "But you'd better take me, and take me now," she grinned, "before the lust takes hold again."

Cara smiled, and threw the painting over her arm. Not even hesitating, she took Kahlan.

"Ahhh," Kahlan moved slowly against the pressure. "That feels so..."

"...Good," Cara finished.

Lying fully back, Kahlan wiggled slowly to help assist Cara's exploration.

"It doesn't seem you're nervous anymore," grinned Cara, stopping to let her eyes roam all over Kahlan. "Just look at that wondrous body," she breathed huskily.

Kahlan was both embarrassed and turned on. She bit down on her own lip, trying not to cry at the feeling...that amazing feeling.

Cara pressed kisses to her collarbone. "I wasn't sure if this would ever happen, but I'm so damn glad it did, Kahlan." She licked the side of Kahlan's face.

Kahlan panted loudly, and whispered, "I know we shouldn't be doing this, but, Cara... Ahhhhhh!"

Cara had now pressed her harder. "Gotta keep your voice down, my love."

"My love?" thought Kahlan. Cara had just called her "My love." That simple endearment sent shivers down her spine. How she wanted Cara to love her, all of her, and she had never realized any of this before now.

They heard sudden sounds at the door, but didn't bother to turn toward it; they just kept focusing on each other...and the pleasure.

"You heard something?" Kahlan breathed, moving her hips up and down, back and forth against Cara's pressure.

"Does it matter?" Cara used her free hand to graze the brunette's chest.

Hours later, Cara and Kahlan lay side by side in bed, panting. Kahlan moved closer to the blond so that she was now against her chest. "I feel damn good," Kahlan laughed.

Cara looked down at her, and reached to pull the brunette fully on top of her. "Must be true...if it has the Mother Confessor cursing up a storm these days."

Kahlan touched a playful hand to the Mord-Sith's nose, correcting her, "Cursing up a storm this night. This particular night."

Cara chuckled. "You have quite the stamina, you know that? Even if we did have to stop every now and then for fear of you confessing me." She hugged Kahlan close to her body.

"Well, I am the Mother Confessor," she teased. "And if I remember correctly, your stamina isn't something to jest about either."

"Shhh. I'm not supposed to say this, but it's because I'm Mord-Sith," Cara whispered against her ear.

"Well...big, bad Mord-Sith...your secret's safe with me," Kahlan spoke softly, running a hand along the side of Cara's face.

They giggled for a moment, and then, as if pulled even further into their own little world, engaged in a long, passionate kiss.

Behind the Scenes 5, the final behind the scene

It was midnight, and Zedd had burst into Shota's dwelling to find the witch-woman laughing while staring into a big pot of liquid near some bricks. She was either watching/reliving some of the events of her latest spell, or she was simply loony. Whichever the case, Zedd did not care. He knew she was behind the Spell of Indulgence cast upon him and his friends. "Cut it out. Now, Shota."

Shota, long, auburn hair trailing past her shoulders, brown eyes the shape of almonds and big, stared at Zedd with a smile on her face. "Zeddicus, I've been waiting for you."

Zedd moved closer to the woman. "Why have you done this to me and my friends?... And don't even bother denying it. There's only two people close enough around these parts with the ability to perform such a spell. And since I didn't -

"I was bored," she huffed. She then eyed Zedd up and down. "And I wanted to see you again." She moved even closer to Zedd, so that they were now only an inch apart. "What better way to get you here?"

Zedd frowned. "Undo the spell... I would myself, but we both know that a spell of this magnitude takes days for the one who did not summon it to break it." Zedd sighed. "And another day of this insanity is not something we can take... It's destroying lives already, as Kahlan even thinks me a panty thief, and -"

Shota was now laughing. Zedd frowned even harder. "If you want me to lift the spell, Zeddicus," she nearly purred, "then you will have to give me something in return." She closed the distance between them, using a finger to glide up his arm.

Cautiously, Zedd asked, "What?"

Shota looked over her shoulder, and clapped.

Suddenly, a bright light shone down on a bed in the far left corner of the dwelling, rose petals on and surrounding it. Shota then looked back up at Zedd, a hint of mischief in her eyes.

Zedd gulped. The things he would do for his loved ones, he thought.

Deleted Scene 5, the final deletion

It had been weeks since Richard, Kahlan, Zedd and Cara had been inflicted with the Spell of Indulgence, and Kahlan was now Richard's wife. They had decided to stay in Aydindril a bit longer, and it was a nice day, just as it had been the day she had decided to fight the obsession. She hadn't been able to sufficiently fight her Cara obsession, however. The woman had bedded and used her. Wait… Used? Had it only been about lust? No, she knew it had been more than that. But Cara usually avoided her these days, and it hurt. But at least she knew the stubborn Mord-Sith was hurt just as much; she could see it in the other woman's eyes whenever they looked at each other. She had gone through with marrying Richard mostly to hurt Cara, and otherwise out of duty and whatever remaining love she had for the Seeker. And now she sat on her Confessor's throne, as some of the Home Guard brought in a scrawny, frightened man to kneel before her.

One Home Guard soldier explained. "He is said to sneak into women's windows at night and steal their panties, Mother Confessor, surely a most sorted fellow who -

Kahlan stood, laughing bitterly. "That's all? That's all this man has done? Then by the spirits, give him a badge of honor and send him on his way." She started to walk off.

"But, Mother Confessor," the Home Guard soldier looked shocked, right along with all his fellow Home Guard soldiers. And the scrawny man's mouth was wide open in disbelief.

Kahlan turned back to them. "Soldier, have you ever had the pleasure of having your panties stolen by an incredibly gorgeous blonde?"

The Home Guard soldier blinked. Then blinked again. Surely, the Mother Confessor knew he did not wear panties. And the "pleasure" would depend on whether he liked wearing panties and just how good-looking the blonde was. Blond? He hoped the Mother Confessor was referring to a woman. He wished he could see the way the word was spelled to be sure. He sighed. He most certainly did not wear panties. He was a man, after all. Big and strong. He furrowed his eyebrows for a moment. Although...there was that one time... "No, Mother Confessor," he shook his head.

Kahlan glanced him up and down. "No, I didn't think so."

She then left them all to stare after her. Confused. And quite certain that the Mother Confessor had lost her spirits-loving mind.