Disclaimer: All rights to the writers of How I met Your Mother. they're evil geniuses and i can't be nearly as funny as them. But i can try.

This is mainly due to the fact that I think if NPH and David Burtka can be together in real life, Barney and Scooter deserve a shot too. Even if it's totally unlikely. ;)

Kids, you remember how I told you Aunt Lily's ex boyfriend, Scooter was still desperate for her to take him back no matter what it took? Well, there was a time, a brief time, when all that had changed.

It was a time seemingly no different than any other. It all started at Maclaren's, where our most monumental moments began. We were doing the usual rounds: ordering burgers and fries and drinks a-plenty. Marshall and Lily sat snug on one side of our booth while Robin and I sat at the other. Barney was as of yet a no show, but we'd hardly put it past him to make some grand entrance or other, stumbling in in what would be what he'd later call a legendary entry for the night. You both know how skewed Uncle Barney's views in life are.

As it happened, he didn't actually trip on anything this time around (god only knew, he'd done it the night before, having had a brutal run in with a stool, which saw him falling flat on his face. He was back up in no time, like an Olympic gymnast, sticking the landing. And the only thing he was preoccupied with was whether or not he'd scuffed his suit on the way down.) Anyway, by the time Barney had decided to finally grace us with his presence, we were all in a heated discussion about the pros and cons of never having seen Barney's doppelganger. (Which eventually escalated into a full-blown argument, since Lily was still convinced the hot dog stand guy bore a striking resemblance.)

"Are you all ready," Barney began in his best announcer's voice as he strode cough stumbled to the booth on two left feet, "to experience the biggest spontaneous combustion simultaneously occurring in a four way-" he stopped to guffaw with his little smirking hum of a laugh when he laughed at his own jokes. "-see what I did there? Four. Way. Nice."

He held up his hand in wait for a high five. Lily frowned at his most recent crude comment, turning away in disgust with the slightest roll of her eyes as Marshall reluctantly returned the high five. He knew as well as all of us not to leave Barney hanging. He may never give up.

"So what's this about spontaneously combusting?" Robin inquired skeptically as Barney plunked down in the chair at the end of the table.

"Yes," Barney nodded, regaining his focus. He deliberately thrust his hand into his wallet and pulled out what looked to be numerous pictures. "Prepare to witness the cutest kid only on the face of the planet!"

Lily scrunched up her face. "Barney, you of all of us, except maybe Robin are always the one telling us how much you hate kids."

"Ah, I say that Lily. I say that," Barney shook his head. "Little do you know that the Stinsons are destined to bring forth only legendary descendants. You will never find a loser Stinson. Ever! You know why?"

"Because you're legendary?" Marshall offered helpfully, with a small upturn of his lips.

"Yes!" Barney conceded with a grin, now settling down to business in passing around the photographs of, now that I could get my hands on one, appeared to be a toddler no older than four years old. "I often say there is little use for kids unless you can take them around with you to impress chicks. But what I say is truth, my friends. Nathan makes an excellent wingman. Possibly the best. My dear brother, James even allows me to put him in a… wait for it… wait for it…"

I dropped my cheek into my waiting hand, knowing this was going to take a while. "…Suit!" It figured. "Kids in suits are just the darnedest things."

"That's not healthy," Lily murmured, shaking her head. "After all, kids are supposed to run around and play and get dirty and-"

"You would make a horrible mother!" Barney retorted matter of factly, as if it made no difference that she and Marshall were currently trying for a baby. "Have you not been listening? Never restrict a child from being able to do what their elders tell them to. And if that means suiting up to bag a few senoritas, then leave them to it!"

~.~.~.~.~

The night went on like that for some time. I have to tell you, your Uncle Barney may seem like a shallow character, but deep down, there's a confusing complex human being in there. It only takes the right person to bring that sane, emotional human being out of that sexist, womanizing pig. (And don't tell him I called him that).

"Hey, so do you ever find it weird that your nephew has two dads?" Marshall inquired off-hand like. As if it wasn't supposed to be a big thing. He took a swig of his beer.

Barney scrunched up his face. "Marshall, I tell you now, it does not matter who Nathan's parents are so long as they are legendary and can teach him how to become the best wingman a Bro could ever ask for," he replied easily, slumping back in his chair. "In fact, it might even be to his favour to have two dads. All the more experience in being a Bro."

"Could you imagine Barney having kids with another guy?" I asked of the table, a little laugh slipping out before I could stop myself. Barney having kids was one thing. Barney being with another man was another.

"Oh, like that would ever happen," Marshall snorted in appreciation for my realization.

"Yeah, it's not as if you want kids," Robin conceded.

"And lets face it, Barney. You're too straight to swing that way."

Barney raised a tenacious brow. "You think I'm too straight to get with another Bro? Ted! You're practically a woman- come here! Come…"

He tried to wrestle me into a headlock in order to do god only knows what. When that failed, he tried to reach for Marshall.

"Oh no," Marshall shook his head, rearing back away from Barney. "Not this again. Never again. Besides. It wouldn't count if you tried getting all mushy on us. You do that all the time."

Barney returned to his regular position in his chair. He fixed his gaze on Marshall and held it there for an intense moment. "Marshall Ericson, I accept that challenge."