A million thanks to G.W Failure for beta-reading!

RECOVERY PART ONE

Leaving New York

May 1912

It was Jack's idea to leave the city. Both Rose and he were sick and tired of endlessly being confronted with the Titanic disaster – the tragedy of the century – that had left the whole country in a state of shock and had journalists going absolutely crazy. Some reporters even went so far as to secretly board the Carpathia before its arrival in New York to be the first to get exclusive first-hand information about the mourning survivors.

Newspapers were filled with speculations and rumors about the sinking – they hardly ever hit the mark and managed to unsettle even good-natured people like Jack.

It was Rose however, who put it in a nutshell. "I bet next week, they'll print a double page about a certain Mr. Hockley who heroically donated some insignificant amount of money in memory of the tragic death of his beloved wife-to-be!" she spat out, jumping up from the bench where Jack and she had taken their seats a few minutes ago. In disgust, she tossed the newspaper away that they had just found.

Shortly afterwards, she sank back on the bench like some force has just drained her of all her strength. Jack looked at her quietly for a moment. He couldn't see her face for she had covered it with her hands. He knew for one thing that her outburst was over and that her fit of rage has morphed into feelings of tiredness and helplessness. He knew it because this was exactly how he felt, too.

It was then, that he suggested leaving the city. "Just for a while. To wait until things have settled down a bit," he said, pulling her closer to let her burry her head in his coat.

She didn't cry, though. They just quietly sat like that for a while, both absorbed in their own thoughts and feeling strangely detached from the world. The next day, they took the train and left.

xxxxx

Money was not an issue, not yet. As survivors of the Titanic disaster, they were provided with everything they needed to get along during their first months in America.

"At least, all the publicity is good for something," Jack had to acknowledge when they heard of the dozens of charity funds that were brought into existence.

Ironically, they had given far more money to charity than they received. Cal's money, which he had left in the pockets of the coat he had given to Rose, now belonged to an organization benefiting children orphaned by the disaster. It hadn't taken Jack and Rose very long to agree on that one. Naturally, they were both repelled by the idea of living off her fiancé's money. Plus, they both knew first-hand what it meant to lose the breadwinner of the family.

To get rid of the money was one thing. To agree on what to do with the diamond was another.

"Rose, seriously, that's the one thing I wished for to go straight to the bottom. You don't actually want to keep this, do you?" Jack moaned when she showed the priceless gem to him a couple of days after their arrival in New York. "Can't we give it to charity like the money you found in your pockets? This thing belongs to Cal just like his stacks of dollars," he added, making the name of her ex-fiancé sound like a swear word.

He obviously didn't get why she wanted to keep it. The only thing he saw in it was the trouble that it got him in when Cal was using it to frame him. For a moment, Rose was a little upset he didn't think of the sketch he did of her instead, since this – and only this –was what she had worn on the occasion.

"Charity? Do you seriously suggest we just walk into their bureaus in our ragged clothes with THAT?" she asked, waving the blue diamond in front of his face. "Either they'll throw us out or they'll have us arrested."

Jack just took a deep breath and looked at her tiredly. Finally becoming aware of his exhaustion, she regretted her sour tone. Obviously, the memory of his dead friends was still too fresh in his mind to have him thinking about their amorous adventures.

Besides, she silently confessed to herself, the drawing is not why I want to keep it. In fact, she had no idea why she did. "Look, I know this is hard to understand. I don't understand it myself. I just want to keep it for a while," she explained.

"Alright. It's yours, so it's your decision, I guess," Jack said after a brief pause and thus ending the argument. There was not a hint of reproach in his words – this was just what he thought. If this was her final decision, he was ready to accept it.

xxxxx

They didn't really know where to get off the train since neither of them knew the area around New York really well. They agreed on taking this decision on the spur of the moment while on the train. Who knew, maybe they'd pass by a very picturesque Monet-like poppy field?

However, through the slightly fogged up window of the train they saw nothing but bleakness. The weather was capricious today. They'd boarded the train in bright sunlight, but now, the sky was overcast with thick grayish clouds and even if there were poppies somewhere in the mist, they would hardly be distinguishable in the grey gloomy light.

After three hours, they left the train in a small village. Not because they took any particular liking in it; they were just unwilling to stand the dull ride any longer. Tired and irritated, they simply followed the first sign they could find which promised to lead to a room and some warm food. To make matters worse, a heavy rain started to fall, turning the dusty roads into muddy slippery foot traps in no time.

They had soon left the village close to the railway station and there were almost no more houses ahead of them, just endless fields and a little forest. But the sign had clearly indicated that the little track they'd been following now for quite some time was supposed to be a path.

Finally, they both realized that going back wouldn't be much help – they wouldn't be able to reach the station before dawn and finding a room after nightfall would be almost impossible. They didn't exchange many words during their trudge, which began to resemble more and more a forced march.

Neither of them could tell exactly how much time had passed since they had left the station when they finally arrived at a little farm house that seemed to be the one they had read about on the sign.

It was already beginning to get dark, so it was hard to tell if the house was in a good condition.

"What do you think?" Jack asked her as he opened the fence door.

"It has a roof," she remarked dryly and wiped a wet strand of hair from her eyes.

"And a water supply," Jack added, pointing to what appeared to be a well at the side of the house.

Jack's sense of practicability was lost on Rose who only shrugged, shivering in her wet clothes. "We don't have a choice anyway. Unless you prefer to sleep outside in the rain. I, for one, am going inside now." She looked at him defiantly for a moment and then did as she said.

Jack sighed and followed her silently as she hurried to the door.

They had to knock several times until an old lady reluctantly opened the door to the width of a crack, eying them suspiciously.

Jack told her that they were looking for a room. The woman narrowed her eyes and Jack started wondering if they had knocked on the right door. Maybe this isn't the house we are looking for.

"You're a bit late in the day," the lady finally mumbled with reproach but opened the door wide enough for them to take a step into the hall and out of the rain.

Now, seeing both of them in the light, she seemed to regret her decision to have let them inside of her house.

Looking at Jack's overly long hair and Rose's rather unconventional appearance disapprovingly, she snarled, "Do you have any money at all?" and then told them the price she had set up for the room. "Besides, I only have one room, not two," she added, apparently having noticed that neither Jack nor Rose was wearing a wedding ring.

"Just… show us the room," Jack said surprisingly friendlily given their current misfortune and the rudeness of their new landlady – at least in Rose's eyes – and proceeded to show her their money which was all wet and crumpled for he had been carrying it in his pockets all day long. Somehow it worked wonders.

Telling from the old lady's face, she seemed to undergo only a brief moment of conflict, then she forced her lips into a smile and slowly set herself into action by showing them the room – which, although small, was clean – as well as other compartments of the house they might need to know. Jack and Rose were barely listening and luckily for them, the woman really seemed to be quite indignant about their shady appearance and late arrival, so she didn't feel the need to mention anything that went beyond the necessary minimum of information. Alone at last, they changed out their wet close and went to bed.

Their landlady seemed to be under the misconception that she gave shelter to a pair of adulterers – a prejudice that did not exactly match their current state of relationship. Naturally, they shared a bed but aside from that, they were as chaste as can be. It was not that they didn't have feelings for each other anymore, but that they were still numbed with pain. At times, everything around them seemed so unreal, including the other and their love. At other times, they were overwhelmed by their emotions when all of a sudden, something that couldn't be contained any longer, surfaced. But just like Rose's tantrum on the bench, this never lasted long and even if one of them felt overflowing with tender feelings towards the other, he didn't quite know how to reach out to the other and felt their distance keenly.

It was only at night, that they were able to get closer to each other again and even share kisses or gentle hugs. But those were rather acts of support than forms of desire or lust. At least, it was then that they were able to revive their special kind of mutual understanding and complicity. As they lay in their bed that night, entangled in a hug and listening to the sound of the rain falling against the roof, it was again them against the world.