A/N: Ugh, Sorry for the long delay in updating, but this chapter KILLED us. It went through multiple rewrites and then got shortened. We still hate it. And it's short. But consider it a transition. We're working on some more action, and hopefully will get back in the groove. The good news is we have a great idea for a new story, so keep your eyes open.

REVIEW? PLEEEEEASE?

Time to spare was an almost unknown commodity when Leroy Jethro Gibbs was hunting down a terrorist, so Ziva was especially surprised when he pulled her aside coming down from the roof.

"You and I aren't finished yet, Ziva." He said softly, motioning for Tony and Fornell to continue on.

Ziva hovered uncomfortably on the highest level of the building, waiting for Gibbs to say something, but he just fixed her with a stare. And not the typical Gibbs stare, a different sort of look, a more inquisitive one.

"You should have come to me." He said finally. His tone washed a fresh wave of guilt over Ziva; he didn't sound angry, as much as hurt.

"I am sorry, Gibbs." She murmured, wincing at how inadequate the words sounded to her own ears. It was another in a long line of betrayals, and even though her intentions may have been good, she knew it was a mistake.

Gibbs stood silently, and Ziva realized he was waiting for her to explain herself. She almost uttered something inane until Tony's words echoed in her head. We're not doing this anymore Ziva. No more silence, no more secrets, no more lies. Maybe he was right; it changed things for her and Tony, why not her and everyone. Maybe she exacerbated problems by keeping them to herself.

"I did not want anyone to know," she admitted, "I did not want Tony to know I spent months sleeping with Terzian and waking up in his bed. I did not want to see the pitying look on McGee's face as I explained what this mission did to my father and I…" she trailed off and took a deep breath.

"Ziva," Gibbs started, but she cut him off.

"I was in over my head." She blurted out. "I was doing well as far as intelligence was concerned, but Terzian is…"

"He's a psychopath." Gibbs said simply. "And you were young. He scared you?" he guessed.

Ziva nodded. "I still think, sometimes, what could have happened if my father had not ended my role so abruptly."

"I talked to Director Vance," Gibbs said calmly, "And he told me that your father almost lost the top job because of that mission."

Ziva inhaled sharply. "He chose to lose me instead." She whispered, looking down as her eyes welled. "He simply stopped acting like a father." Her voice threatened to break, so she stopped talking, hoping Gibbs would fill the silence, but of course, he just waited.

"And I played right into his hand." She continued, a humorless chortle escaping her mouth. "If I was invincible, if I never made mistakes, he would be able to see me as family again." She didn't say anything else, because Gibbs knew how that story went.

"He had already lost my sister. What kind of man throws away another daughter?" she wondered, more to herself than Gibbs.

She met his eyes again. "I did not tell you because it is still difficult for me to show vulnerability to you, because-"

You're a better father than he ever was, she was going to say. Instead Gibbs stopped her by nodding.

"I know, Ziva." He said simply. "But you get to choose your own life now. You get to define your relationships, and you don't have to be afraid to lose the people you love anymore."

She nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat, determined not to cry on top of everything else. Instead, impulsively she wrapped her arms around Gibbs in a quick hug.

"Oh, hell, Ziva." He said, his tone as jocular as it got. "Don't go all Abby on me now."

Gibbs sighed; it never ceased to amaze him how comfortable Tony and Ziva were with one another. In the last twenty four hours, they had a fight that rivaled his worst showdowns with any of his ex wives, apparently worked out their relationship, and instead of a touch of awkwardness or shyness, they continued their usual banter.

It was enough, Gibbs mused, to make him think maybe some people were suited for marriage. He paused outside the door to the room Tony had inhabited as their voices rose. They were five or six hours out from putting their plan into action and he had wanted to remind them of the key elements, but something stopped him outside the door.

"Perhaps you could try to look at least a little intimidating." Gibbs heard Ziva suggest.

Tony frowned. "Are you kidding? I look intimidating. I could do intimidating in my sleep."

Ziva rolled her eyes and sighed. "Shortly before coming to NCIS I received intelligence that an arms dealer selling to Hamas was in the backroom of a nightclub in Istanbul. I broke down the door wearing six inch heels and holding a nine millimeter in each hand. That was intimidating."

"Okay, so maybe I'm not intimidating to you…." Tony said immediately, before digesting her words. Gibbs was torn between amusement and exasperation at the pause, during which time his senior field agent was undoubtedly recreating the scene in his mind.

"Wait a nine mil in each hand?" Tony repeated. "Did you happen to catch this on video tape?"

Ziva's voice dropped. "No. But I could act it out for you if you would like." Gibbs heard her say something else in a husky whisper, and he was glad he couldn't make out what it was.

Gibbs heard a muffled, disgusted sound coming from McGee's room, separated from Tony's by only a door. "I liked you better when you were both miserable." He called through the wall. Gibbs bit back a chuckle.

"McGee finds me very intimidating." Tony said loudly.

"Do not." McGee shot back.

When Ziva spoke again, Gibbs could tell she was smiling. "Regardless of McGee's opinion, Terzian is not an idiot," she told him matter of factly, "And if he is going to believe that you, or Aaron, as the case may be, are going to help him smuggle uranium, you cannot march in there looking like…" She trailed off and Tony laughed. There was a brief silence and Gibbs was afraid for a moment that they were doing something he didn't want to know about when Tony spoke again.

"Let's go over it one more time." He said.

"Tony." Ziva replied, her voice serious now.

"One more time." He insisted. There was a long silence, and Gibbs could only imagine the battle that was raging silently between them.

"We show up at his usual hunt." Ziva started.

"Haunt. Usual haunt." Tony corrected.

"What did I say?" Ziva asked innocently. It was a pretty weak attempt to distract Tony, Gibbs thought, but he understood her intentions.

"He sees us…" Tony trailed off.

"Being us?" Ziva suggested helpfully.

"He's jealous, he's irrational. He goes looking for you, overhears an argument about the uranium, hopefully, we'll have riled him up enough to get him involved." Tony concluded.

"And you need to set it up so that he gets Lina as a piece of this deal," Ziva reminded him, choosing to refer to Lina as though they weren't one and the same. "None of it works if we can't get her at his house, overnight before the transaction is supposed to happen."

"Please don't, Zi." Tony said quietly.

"You know it would mean nothing to me." She whispered, suddenly wishing they hadn't agreed to be so honest.

Tony didn't say anything, but Gibbs heard the creaking of the bed as he sank down on the edge of it. The door was slightly ajar, and Gibbs watched their reflection in the window. Ziva kneeled on the bed behind Tony and placed her hands on his shoulders. He used her hands to pull her arms around him. With her weight against him, he seemed to relax.

"I hate this." He mumbled. She lifted their joined hands and absently traced her thumb over his lower lip.

"I know." She whispered.

Gibbs wanted to look away, to leave them in their moment, but the outcome of this conversation was suddenly very important. He wasn't going to send them in the field if they were going to make stupid decisions that put each other over their job.

"I think," Ziva began slowly, choosing her words carefully, "That a may be able to use a tactic I used in the past. I cannot drug him, because he only prepares his own drinks, but when he starts drinking, he does not know when to stop."

"You think you could get him to pass out?"

"Easily." She replied, a confidence in her voice Gibbs thought was genuine. "I will of course, be prepared for the alternative, and if I have to, I will. When I determine that he will not be waking up for several hours, I will let you in the side door off the kitchen, and we will search the study. I know where he keeps the key."

Tony nodded. "Fornell is borrowing another safe house. We get what we need; we get out, and head for that location. Gibbs said to wait three hours, change cars, and then come back here."

"Simple." Ziva said, her throat tight.

"Just once I'd like to send McGee and Abby undercover." Tony grumbled, standing up and starting to pace.

"Abby is not a trained agent." Ziva pointed out.

"Yea? Well neither were you the first time we went undercover." Tony shot back smiling in spite of himself at the memory. Ziva shot him a look. "Yea, I know," Tony conceded with a sigh, "I'm just tired of this."

Ziva rose, stepped toward him and put a hand on his cheek. "The world is not a safe place, Tony. Neither of us is safe, no matter how badly we want to protect each other. We do this in hopes that our children might be safe."

He nodded, and Gibbs felt a surge of pride. The overgrown frat brother he had first known in Tony had really become a man. He knew part of that (okay most of that) was Ziva. Any other woman mentioned children and Tony would be sprinting for the door, but he was unfazed when Ziva uttered the words.

"Are you scared?" Tony asked her.

"Of course I am." She replied honestly, surprising Tony and Gibbs with her openness. "But we need to do this."

Gibbs was striding down the stairs to sort out his mounting trepidation when Abby called.

"What's going on Abs?" he asked.

"Gibbs!" she exclaimed. "Thank God! I was trying to call and I couldn't get a hold of anyone, and I thought something terrible had happened. Has something terrible happened?"

Gibbs chuckled. "We're fine, Abby." He said patiently.

"You're all fine," she repeated, "So it's true? You abolished rule number twelve?"

Gibbs sighed. Of course this is what she wanted. "One time only." He confirmed.

This admission was met squeals and an exclamation of delight from Abby so high pitched Gibbs had to hold the phone away from his ear. When she had calmed down, and they had discussed how Palmer had almost blown up autopsy, Gibbs asked Abby the question weighing on his mind.

"You ever hear Ziva admit she was scared?"

"Duh, of course not Gibbs!" Abby said, scolding him as though he should know better than to ask such a thing.

"Didn't think so." He replied.

"Why, have you?"

"First time a few minutes ago." He admitted.

"Well it's about time." Abby said. Gibbs waited, and without fail she continued speaking. "She wasn't scared when she thought she'd eventually go back to Mossad and die before she hit 40. Who would be? It's why she clung to that for so long. She had a free pass to live her life exactly how she wanted."

Abby paused, likely taking a pull from the straw in her Caf-Pow. "It's a lot harder not to show fear when you've got something to live for." She concluded. "Frankly I think it's healthier."

Gibbs considered this and nodded. "Thanks Abs."

"Here to counsel, El Jefe." She replied.