Mmmmm more Kouji/Rui love. Oh Kouji, you naughty boy…

No one else even noticed anything was wrong, but Kouji knew her better than that. He knew there had to be a reason for her domestic upsurge, her refusal to leave Hiyori alone, and studied avoidance of him. He was no fool. He could see the way her eyes lingered on everyone and everything, taking a mental stock of their home, memorizing their faces so as to keep them in her heart. He knew what she was doing. She was saying goodbye.

It was their last night in Hokkaido. Hiyori and Rei were sleeping, Sagishimono was plotting, and Yukihina was intoxicated. This was only to be expected: Rui had attempted to drink the both of them under the table as soon as she put Hiyori and Rei to bed, and Sagishimono, as always, refused to join them. The three of them had a bond, and although they were devoted to him, he usually let them be. Perhaps for good reason. Rui had an amazing capacity for drink – a trait that Kouji had learned to heartily respect – but tonight he would not be taken in by it. While Yukihina foolishly matched her drink for drink, Kouji drank only when he wanted, and spent the remainder of his time fixing a smoldering glare on the beautiful woman sitting next to him. Not surprisingly, Rui was helpless against such a powerful reminder of masculine virility, and in order to fight off embarrassment, focused her attention on getting Yukihina drunk. She had realized Kouji was not going to be put off, and like Sagishimono, he must know.

The onslaught began directly after Yukihina tottered off into the house, yarbling on about toothpaste.

"Rui." Kouji turned to her and casually laid his hand on top of hers, overcoming his instinct that berated him for even thinking of touching her. He knew everything about his extremely tremulous Rui, and such a move at the outset was dangerous, yet it must be done. She must know he was absolutely serious. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?"

Rui looked over wildly, consternation in her gaze. Yet she did not remove her hand. "Kouji, I..." She had her reasons, damn good reasons, yet the look in his eyes made it impossible to even remember them, let alone formulate coherent sentences. This was precisely the reason she hadn't told him – because when it came down to it, she didn't think she could.

So she resorted to the most desperate of measures. Pleading. Her face softened as her gaze turned to liquid. "Kouji, please…" She let her eyes say everything her mouth could not, and hoped he would understand, as he always had before.

Kouji felt the hot sweep of lust surge throughout his stomach, and unconsciously moved closer to her, which only made the attraction more potent. He knew she had to go, could even hazard a guess as to why and where, but right now his mind, heart, and body were united in a single sentiment: don't let her go.

Rui's body knew the situation had changed, although her mind still valiantly attempted to form a response to Kouji's questions. The deep dark of his eyes caused her own pupils to dilate, and without realizing it her body positioned itself into the yin of Kouji's yang – his body was dominant and aggressive, laced with tension and power, while hers was yielding, softer, and accepting, even swathed as it was in all that leather. Desire was fast stirring in her blood, and her eyes were hopelessly fixated on Kouji's face. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the fact that she was leaving, but she couldn't stop looking at his eyes, his nose, his cheekbones. His scar. His lips. God she wanted them. God she wanted him.

"Kouji, I have to…please." He had shifted closer to her and Rui found that her hands were skimming over his forearms, his biceps, his shoulders. She was numbly aware that breathing had become difficult, and with every attempt her chest rose and fell hypnotically. She could feel his hands at her back, gripping her tightly, pulling her closer to him. Now that they were touching it was only a matter of time. She was so close – her thumbs found his face, grazed his cheekbones, and she whispered one last time before their mouths came together.

"Kouji, please…"

Their mouths came together for the first time and Kouji knew why he had waited years – eschewing all other women - for just this moment. While their lips brushed and separated and melded together, he made himself forget she was leaving, so he could devote himself to this experience. He could taste her desperation and the raw emotional power of the kiss, yet he could tell that she did not really know how to kiss. Not like this, passionately and as a potential precursor to sex. So he took charge. His lips slid over and under hers leaving her no time or inclination to muddle matters with her tongue, and he pulled her firmly into his lap, where he then began to explore her ribcage, her back, and tenderly, her face. He felt her hands roam sporadically over his upper body, yet she primarily focused on his face, and her smooth caresses on his cheeks and through his flyaway hair felt like the redemption of God himself. He muffled a groan as she shifted again and was now straddling him. His hands found the round curve of her ass just as she discovered the foreign feel of his manhood pressing up against her, and both knew it was time for a slight détente. Emotionally charged as the moment was, Rui was simply not a woman to take this experience in stride. They drew back slightly, whispering to each other. Yet their breathy confessions could not keep the kisses away, as neither of them could pull back from the power of the moment.

"Kouji, I have to," Rui whispered as she traced the curve of his upper lip with her own. "Please, you know-" she grazed her lips against his again, and at this Kouji tilted his face up to snag her lower lip, pulling it gently between his teeth. Rui moaned, and continued. "…you know I don't want to leave you."

"I know." The affirmation came from deep in his chest, and Rui could feel the rumble of it on her stomach even as his lips along her jaw made her tingle. God his touches made her want to simultaneously blush and moan; the desire was such an alien, terrifying feeling, yet she instinctively wanted to get closer to him.

Kouji pulled her close again to kiss her deeply, and for a moment it seemed that all control would be lost. He couldn't let her go. The longer he touched her the less sense it made for him to ever let go of her, and the way she was responding, he would assume she agreed. Sentiments bubbled up his throat: Don't go, and love me tonight, and let me come with you. Yet all of these were – well, perhaps excepting the second – impossible. He would stay with Sagishimono. He was his friend, and although Rui was the love of his life, he needed to stay with him. And of course he couldn't force Rui to stay with him by the brunt of his own emotions. She too had things she needed to protect, and that was one of the things he loved the most about her. He loved all their differences. He loved everything about her.

He parted his lips to tell her, but the world started to slip apart before he could utter those all important words. As he stared in pained amazement Rui melted into a pile of snow that when he attempted to embrace it, swirled about and joined the onslaught from the heavens. He stretched out his arms to try and catch the flakes, completely forgetting about his special power, but the sound of footsteps behind him distracted him. He tried not to turn, desperate to somehow bring Rui back to him, but the force compelling him was inexplicable and too strong to fight against.

As he slowly, oh so slowly turned, the world changed again. The skies ran together against the horizon, bloodying the campsite and muddying Kouji's mind. Stirrings of familiarity jump-started logical cognitive processes – this was wrong. This wasn't real. It was close to truth, yet close like an old photograph; faded and imperfect, a likeness of reality yet no longer a part of the moment. These abstract musings opened the door to comprehension, and before he could finish his never-ending turn he awoke.

Regret burned against the back of his eyelids, propelling him into wakefulness. He had had the dream many times now since Rui had left, and nothing ever changed. The encounter, the desire, the descent into the surreality of dreams…and of course, upon waking, the regret. Parts of the dream were true. Her last night with them, Rui had tricked Yukihina into intoxication, and left without saying goodbye to Rei and Hiyori. He had asked her why she hadn't told him that she was leaving. Yet in his memories, they had not kissed – she had merely begged him never to lose, and he had given her his word. The moment had been too much for his (and he thought hers) feelings to take charge. The encounter had carried with it the weight of futility and despair, and although his entire body had cried out for hers, he had not taken the step. She would have reacted badly, no matter her feelings. Her violent modesty would have won out, and even if it hadn't, she would have taken his approach for a trick to keep her there. He knew it was the right thing, to have said their quiet, emotional goodbyes without even a last embrace. Yet now, the possibility of their unvoiced love haunted him, and it made him foolish. Just yesterday he had wandered close to the Shibuya mansion, ostensibly following Yukihina on a walk. He could tell his explanation hadn't fooled Yukihina, but as Yuki had never noticed the bond between Rui and Kouji, Kouji would not explain further. It had all been for nothing, anyways. He had fought with a code:breaker, and Rui hadn't even been there.

Kouji turned onto his left side, obscuring his scar. He never had the dream more than once a week, and knew when he fell back asleep, it would be into Rui-less dreams. He shut his eyes, falling back into slumber with the same desire he always did – that tonight would be the night to prove the pattern wrong, and he would see her again.

Please. Both you and I know that Kouji is incredibly sexy, and he's so torn up about Rui's absence. I mean, really. Look at that face he made when he recalled his promise (ch. 73). And Rui goes on about how she'll kill them all if she needs to (to Hiyori as they fight) but really. She's not gonna' kill Kouji. Or even fight him. Hopefully.