Disclaimer: Bleach is Tite Kubo's masterpiece.

PROPOSAL

I.

He was the hero of Soul Society, deemed one of the bravest souls to walk the worlds of both living and dead; and yet, it had taken every ounce of his courage to simply kneel down, whip out a gold ring, and say, "Will you marry me?"

It really didn't help that her reaction was quick. A vein popped out of her forehead as she kicked him in the face so hard that he fell flat on the ground. He didn't have time to process what was happening when she stepped on his chest and demanded, "Where is Ichigo?"

"What the heck—Rukia!"

She stepped harder. "I repeat, where is Ichigo?"

"I am Ichigo!"

She smirked. "As if you could fool me, Kon!"

He would stutter, really, if he were not utterly speechless.

"A proposal of marriage? Really?" she continued when he just looked at her in shock. "You know Ichigo would never do that."

He was probably still dazed when he replied, "He would!" referring to himself in the third person and further "proving" Rukia's insane accusation.

Her eyes widened and shone as she released him. "Are you aware if he has such plans?"

And as much as Ichigo wanted to propose (again), the misunderstanding just reduced his mojo to zero. If he had any mojo in the first place.

Oh, he was planning to propose all right. He had the ring for a month now but he wanted things to be perfect. He wanted her to remember this day always. The problem was that he didn't know how, so he kept mum about it.

Who knew attending Ishida and Inoue's wedding would trigger his big mouth to spout of the words he had been playing in his mind for weeks?

This first attempt at a proposal was totally unplanned, and this was not how he wanted things to play out. So maybe it's a blessing in disguise that Rukia was blind.

"Nah, the closest thing I hear is his dad begging him for grandchildren, and we all know that's old news," he said, trying to imitate Kon.

"Oh." Disappointment was clear on her face that Ichigo suddenly regretted not persuading her he was really him. But he knew she would kill him if he told her now.

"If it were really him a while ago, would you have said yes?"

She smiled at me and nodded. "Of course."

He had the urge to hug her when she turned her head to look at the river and said, "So where is Ichigo?"

"Probably out killing hollows."

A vein popped out. "I knew it, that idiot."

And that was Ichigo's first tragic attempt at proposing.

II.

The second time, he had it all planned out: a romantic candlelit dinner, a recitation of Shakespeare's Sonnet 116, and finally a luscious chocolate cake—with the ring inside.

It wasn't him, but maybe a typical human proposal strategy would fascinate her so.

Ichigo was more of a spontaneous person. Having things all planned out made him nervous. His heart was beating loudly and wildly all the way to the restaurant and he was sweating when they finally got to their seat.

He had reserved the garden pavilion for them so they could get some privacy. After all, he didn't want things ruined, and he still had a reputation to preserve.

"What brought this up all of a sudden?" Rukia inquired as they finished their dinner.

"What brought what up?" he replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

She gestured toward food, "This," then the garden, "and that."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Have you forgotten?"

She thought about it for a moment, her face scrunched up as she tried to think of a possible reason for the sudden romantic act. "Well, it's not our anniversary."

"No, it's not."

"And it's not that day either."

She might be getting close. "What day?"

She hesitated for a moment. "Look. I know it's our anniversary we celebrate every year, but there's one day that's really special to me."

"That is?"

"The day I met you."

His eyebrows rose.

She was blushing as she avoided his gaze. "Ugh. I know it sounds cheesy, and I like it being just my secret because it would be pretty dumb to celebrate two anniversaries annually… so I just, you know, try to do something nice for you every year during that particular day." She stole a glance at him. "You didn't notice?"

He scratched his cheek as he grinned sheepishly. "Actually, I don't even remember the date when we first met."

She had to smile at that. "Boys."

"What I remember most is this day exactly seven years back."

"And that day was…?"

"The day you saved me."

She looked confused. "When was that?"

He smirked. "Most people, you especially, see it as the day I saved you."

"Oh." She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, blushing. "I guess—"

"Dessert is served," the waiter announced.

The calm Ichigo had from their earlier conversation had dissipated and was replaced by panic. He could hardly eat. His hands were a bit shaky, but Rukia didn't seem to notice. She was very much immersed in her cake that she also didn't notice the glint of gold that appeared after three bites. Her fourth bite included the gold ring.

Ichigo was sweating, but he was ready for it. For the second time, he was going to kneel and ask, "Will you marry me?"

Her eyes widened; he started to rise from his seat. She held her neck; he stood in confusion. She put on her shinigami gloves; he did a double take. She extracted her soul from her gigai; he found himself pushed back into his seat with Sode no Shirayuki at his face.

"Who are you?" she demanded.

Great, here they go again.

"Rukia, what are you doing?" he asked, his voice shaky for a different reason altogether from before.

"You were nervous the whole night. Do you deny it?" she asked, her face serious.

"Well, no. I—"

"You don't know the date when we first met."

"As I told you, more important to me was the day you stopped the—"

"You were sweating by the time dessert came out."

"You noticed?"

"And you were expecting something to happen at my latest bite, weren't you?"

"Well, yes. I was going to—"

"I know," she interrupted again. "You were trying to kill me."

He seriously thought her mistaking him for Kon was the most absurd she could get, but this was just out of this world. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't take me for a fool!" she moved her zanpakto closer to his neck and he had to gulp at that. "Were you expecting me to choke on it, or did you put poison in it?"

"Listen to me Rukia—"

"I want you to tell me your purpose for this attempted assassination, and I demand to know how you managed to imitate Ichigo. You almost had me fooled."

"I am Ichigo."

"You're not!"

"I am."

She punched him using her gloved hand.

His body lay limp on the chair as his soul stood behind it. "See? Told you I'm Ichigo."

Her eyes narrowed. "Are you his hollow?"

Ichigo ran his hands over his face in frustration. He was really losing his patience. "You know what my hollow looks like!"

"Like I'd believe the words of a hollow."

He rolled his eyes. "If I were my hollow, I don't think I would be wasting my time talking to you instead of killing people."

For a brief moment, she lowered her weapon. "I will not, cannot accept that you are Ichigo!" She shook her head. "He would never try to kill me."

"Well, I feel like strangling you right now." He whispered to himself.

Unfortunately, Rukia heard. "That is why you aren't—"

III.

His third attempt was a scream-fest.

He lost all self-restraint. "For goodness' sake, Rukia. I am Ichigo!"

"Then why did you attempt to assassinate me?"

"Will you stop being an idiot and look at what you choked on before you go around pointing Sode no Shirayuki at people?" he shouted as he pointed to her unconscious gigai.

She looked taken aback. She held her sword to his chest as she slowly lowered herself to retrieve the object that almost killed her. She took a quick glance at it and looked back at him. "See, it's a—" Her eyes widened and a small gasp escaped her throat.

Ichigo smiled wryly. "Yes, it's a ring. So can you now point your zanpakto somewhere else?"

She didn't move. She remained silent.

"Uh… Rukia?"

"How do I know—"

He let out a groan. "I don't even know why I want to marry this idiot."

Her eyebrows went up as a light blush covered her cheeks. She dropped her sword (finally!). "You want to marry me?"

"Well, what did you think the ring meant?"

"Hey!" she cried defensively, getting redder in the face (from embarrassment or anger, he didn't know). "What kind of idiot puts a ring in a cake?"

His mouth hung open. "What are you talking about? People do this all the time!"

"Where? When? Why?"

He pointed an accusatory finger at her. "Aren't you the one addicted to shojo manga?"

"Yes. So?"

"So you should know! Aren't people all lovey-dovey there?"

She thought about it. "I don't think people got engaged in the mangas I read."

Ichigo's eyebrows twitched some more. "Forget it. Just tell me yes or no."

"Yes or no what?"

"If you'll marry me!" he exploded.

"No!"

"What? After all the things I went through—"

"Why ask if you're not going to accept the answer anyway?"

"Because you said you'd say yes if I were the one who proposed to you up the hill last month."

Yes, she was really really red right now. "Did Kon tell you that?"

"No, stupid. Because that wasn't Kon! That was me whom you mistook for another guy, again!"

"What?"

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh." She twiddled her thumbs. "Well…"

He sighed. "Will you just marry me?"

She nodded, blushing. "Yes, I will."

Throwing his hands in the air, he said, "Finally."

~b.l.e.a.c.h~

He knows spending his lifetime and the next with Rukia was going to be filled with odd, why-am-I-with-her moments like these, but that doesn't mean he'll ever let go of her.

Because that's how love is.

Fin.

-Omake-

"Dad, how come you never told us the story of how you met mom?"

"Would you believe me if I told you she passed through a wall and into my room, kicked me senseless, drew a mustache on my face, and then pierced me with a sword?"

"Uh… no."

"Then I guess you'll never find out."

Fin.

A/N: It's been along time since I last wrote something. I hope this turned out well and you had fun reading it! The omake was inspired by the television series "How I Met Your Mother".