A/N: I felt like doing a PotO parody. Who knows why? Anywho, I'm just warning ya: this is a parody, so some – ah, I mean all – of the characters will most likely be OOC.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own the Phantom of the Opera, the song 'So What', or Monty Python. I do, however, own myself (Thank God for that! =D)
Carlotta was not happy. She was the Prima Donna of the opera; she had a boyfriend, a big salary, and admirers. But, she still wasn't happy. Why, you might ask? Because THE STUPID NEW MANAGERS OF THE OPERA HOUSE REFUSED TO RECOGNIZE HER GREATNES!1111!
"Yo! Youes a-managers a-over a-there-a!"
"Hm?" Andre looked up from ogling Meg Giry in her skimpy outfit.
"Stop a-lookin' at the-a chorus-girls! Look at a-me!"
"Why?" said Firmin, tearing his eyes away Christine, who was also wearing a skimpy outfit.
"Because!" fumed Carlotta, "I 'ate my 'at!"
"You ate your hat?" asked Andre, looking revolted. "Why would you do that?"
"Maybe she was given a secret mission" said Firmin. "And her instructions were written on her hat, and her cover was blown, and she had to eat her instructions, therefore eating her hat!"
"Yes, that must be it" said Andre, nodding at Firmin, while Carlotta threw up her hands in annoyance.
"That's-a it! I've-a had enough of this-a weirdness! I'm-a leaving!"Carlotta stormed out of the opera house, accompanied by several others who had also given up on the new managers. After five minutes, no less!
Meanwhile, Madame Giry was standing off to the side, staring at a hole in the floor.
'The managers should really get that fixed' she thought with disgust. 'They can afford to buy lavish suits for themselves, but they don't bother to fix up the opera house, or for that matter, giver us pay raises!'
Suddenly, a Note (wink, wink) dropped from the ceiling.
Obviously, Madame Giry knew who it was from. Suddenly, she realized that the managers had to do what OG said, so she whipped out a pen and wrote a P.S. at the bottom of the page.
"Hey, you managers!" shouted Madame Giry, interrupting the managers' discussion on whether a 5 ounce swallow could carry a one pound coconut, "I've just received a note from the Opera Ghost!"
"Oh, is it Halloween already?" asked Firmin sarcastically. Madame Giry rolled her eyes and read:
Dear Manager guys:
Hello and WELCOME to the Paris Opera House. I suggest you leave right away unless you want to undergo public humiliation. Oh yeah, and you can pay me 20,000 francs. It's my monthly salary. I don't make your life miserable for free, ya know!
Your obedient friend,
OG
Then, in very different handwriting on the bottom, it said,
P.S. Give Madame Giry a pay raise.
"We can't do that!" said Firmin, close to tears. "What with the gala tonight, and Carlotta not being here, we'll have to cancel!"
"What does that have to do with anything?" asked Andre.
"I don't know, we just have to keep the plot moving forward!"
Madame Giry was beginning to think that the managers were indeed crazy, but to keep the plot moving, she said – "Christine Daae could sing the solo, sirs."
Andre laughed. "The chorus girl in the skimpy outfit?"
"Yes. Her. Let her sing for you. She has been well taught."
"Who's your teacher" Firmin demanded.
"I don't know his name, sir" said Christine, trying to sound sweet and innocent.
Andre's brow creased. "If you don't know his name, how do you make out his checks?"
"I don't pay for my lessons."
"Oh. Well, sing the song then."
Christine cleared her throat and began:
'Na na na na na na na na na na na na na.
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na.
I guess I just lost my husband, I don't know where he went!
I'm gonna drink my money, I'm not gonna pay his rent!
I got a brand new attitude and I'm gonna wear it tonight!
I'm wanna get in trouble, I wanna start a fight!
Na na na na na na na I WANNA START A FIGHT!' (and so on and so on)
Suddenly, by some weird magic time portal thingy, it was the gala and Christine was in an even skimpier outfit than before. And the crowd loved it, especially that fop with corled hair in Box 5….
A/N: Soooo? What'd ya think? I know, I know, it was short, but I'm JUST GETTIN' STARTED! WOOO!
Reviews are welcome; flames will be used to toast the souls of the damned in my Pepito Diablo's basement. Heh, I don't own JTHM neither….
~Gilly