A/N: Hello everyone I've decided to make an Okami parody, because everyone loves making parodies of their favorite things, right? Right. ...Okay maybe that's just me. Well whatever. Anyway, I hope at least one other person finds this remotely funny. If not I'll just leisurely work on it at my own pace until it either dies on me or it's finished. I'll probably end up doing that anyway :P And if the whole humor/parody thing isn't your style, read some of my other Okami shtuffs, cuz they're better XP

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Okami, and don't sue me if this seems like a LoZ Windwaker crossover because it's not...well, not really anyway...although it might become one...heh, we'll see. ENJOYS

Once upon a time, there were white wolves.

They used to live in a place called Nippon, but unfortunately neither the white wolves nor Nippon exist anymore, mainly because the white wolves have always refused to believe that Nippon is actually the Japanese word for Japan, and so they changed the name against the will of the people and were, as a consequence, killed off. Unfortunately, the tree sprite Sakuya was not informed of these facts and stubbornly insisted that both were still real.

Which made life a pain in the ass for Amaterasu.

Amaterasu had very much liked being a statue, oh yes. Statues didn't have to run around saving the world, or listen to boring lectures, or almost get killed due to ungrateful little nonbelievers. And besides, no one cared if she never took a bath. BECAUSE SHE WAS A STATUE.

So when Sakuya turned Amaterasu into a real wolf, she was understandably upset.

"You must save Nippon!" said Sakuya.

"It's called JAPAN, DAMMIT," said Amaterasu, because she was a white wolf. "Now where're my no good brothers, Susano and Tsukuyomi?"

"I put them in a peach," said Sakuya. "Along with the rest of the village."

"You put them where?" said Amaterasu, staring at Sakuya's chest, which was shaped like a peach.

"But before you go, I have something for you." She reached into her peaches and pulled out a tight green uniform.

"Hey wait, that's mine!" cried a strange boy wearing nothing but underwear and a silly green hat.

"Pity," thought Amaterasu. "I thought I'd look good in it." Besides being a wolf, she was also highly into cross-dressing and drag shows. Maybe that's why she liked Waka so much.

The little boy frowned. He was supposed to have black hair, but it was actually yellow. His name was supposed to be Issun, but a while ago Issun decided that he was fed up with hot babes calling him a bug and underwent some intense surgery to make him a real boy. Unfortunately he was still really short and had somewhat of a cartoon character look that did not quite fit with the calligraphy brush-style of the rest of the game. Along the way to becoming a real boy, his identity had been switched and he had become Link from Windwaker.

"Ha, I have a wand," said Issun, who will from now on be referred to as Link. "Now that half-baked flute-playing bastard has nothin' on me, and I'll steal Ammy with my newfound hotness and badass CONDUCTING SKILLZ, BABY." And then he danced a little jig and waved his wand.

"Yeah, 'cept you're still a shortie," Ammy said. "And you don't wear stilettos." Which she thought was hot in a man.

"NETHER OF YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THESE THINGS!" cried Sakuya, who was a stickler to rules. "I'M SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING, AND YOU GO OFF AND SAVE NIPPON—"

"It's freakin' called freakin' JAPAN," Ammy interrupted.

"Well I'm from the future, plus I just came back from kickin' some evil old man's ass in Windwaker, so…am I excluded?" asked Link, who had retrieved his clothes and was no longer dancing, thank the gods.

"I'm just here to drag my brothers back to the Celestial Plain," said Ammy. "Can't you just…pull them out of your peaches, or something?"

Sakuya pouted. "I cannot. I'm a stickler to the rules, and I don't care if everyone calls me a busy body cuz that's how I am, and I believe you have to work for your peaches. So no. But go inside my tree because it's sacred and powerful, and maybe you'll find the secret in there."

She disappeared in a bunch of sparkles like tree sprites tend to do (it's among their top ten favorite things, which probably explains a lot) and chuckled. Amaterasu wouldn't have such an easy time in there. She'd have to go through numerous trials and tribulations and—

"Hey, Sprite Babe! We found two brush gods already!" cried Link.

"Where're my brothers?" cried Amaterasu, and power slashed Sakuya's tree. Much to her chagrin it simply materialized again. Damn. That's what you get for naming your country Nippon. The trees are simply held in much greater esteem and never disappear for good. "Oh well," Ammy thought. "At least I've got endless paper."

Next to her three ink pots, a rainbow colored stack of paper appeared, indicating infinite paper. OH YES.

"How useless," Link scoffed.

"Says the shortie with the wand," replied Ammy. Link was about to make some sort of comeback when he realized she was right, and he went off to pout over by Sakuya.

"Well, that was quicker than expected," Sakuya said. "But a promise is a promise. Cut down this fruit, and the village will be restored."

Ammy was relieved to see that the village wasn't hidden in Sakuya's peach-shaped bust. She used power slash on the tree and Sakuya screamed, "NOT THE TREE, YOU—YOU—" She stuttered, not able to swear at the sun goddess. "AH FORGET IT, JUST CUT DOWN THE FRUIT!"

Another stack of rainbow colored paper appeared. Now Ammy had infinite paper TIMES TWO. Hell yes.

She could have had fun cutting down Sakuya's tree all day, but she decided against it because Sakuya was uptight and no fun, and besides, the sky was all dark and she couldn't tell what time it was. So she cut down the sparkling yellow peach (which is another one of a tree sprite's top ten favorite things), and the village sprung back to life. Well, sort of. They were all statues, which Ammy thought was unfair and cruel. Why should they get to be statues and not her? That's why Nippon is a horrible place, she thought darkly. No respect for white wolves.

She made the sun shine because that's what sun goddess do, unless they're really angry like she was that one time her brother Susano destroyed her rice fields and she TOLD him not to, so she hid herself in a cave, but that was a long time ago and besides, she didn't want anyone else being a statue but her. Gods are very jealous sometimes.

"Oh I forgot to tell everyone, but I'm a wandering minstrel," said Link suddenly.

"Yeah, I kind of noticed," said Ammy.

"Do you want me to dance for you again?"

"Please don't."

"Alright, so do you remember your mission, Amaterasu?" asked Sakuya.

"Find my brothers and bring them home!"

"Erm…What about Nippon?"

Ammy scoffed. "I refuse to save a country with such a ridiculous name."

"But it's your country, Amaterasu!" Sakuya pleaded.

"My country is freakin' JAPAN, not NIPPON," said Ammy. "Let's go, Link."

So, with their newfound powers, they frolicked down the path to the village to find Ammy's brothers. Ammy became distracted by a fat woman with turnips in her field. For some reason, even though she was a wolf, she found turnips to be strangely attracting. So she dug some up and ate them.

"GAH!" she said, because suddenly the old woman ran up to her and whacked her, hard. "DIE, MORTAL!" She tried to smite the fat woman, but unfortunately smiting is the 12th brush power, and we haven't gotten there yet. The fat woman couldn't understand her either, but the little dog chasing the dragonfly did.

"Hello," he said, wagging his tail. "I'm actually a Satome warrior in disguise, so to make things more time-efficient I'll just give you this now." A large glowing orb came out of the ball attached to his bandana and hovered over Ammy's nose. Link conducted a dramatic jingle in the background that belonged to Zelda games and not Okami, and a scroll on the bottom of the screen read, You got Farore's pearl!

"SWEET!" cried Link, jumping up and down in his signature jig. "We didn't even have to do a boss battle for that one!"

"Cool, I guess," said Ammy, who wasn't sure what it all meant but decided to keep the pearl anyway. Then she fed the dog some meat because he looked lonely. He gave her a ginormous lumpy turnip for her courage in battling the fat woman.

"Yum…" she said, licking her lips. "I don't know why I even like these things."

For some reason, she felt that eating vegetables threatened her wolf-hood, so she hunted down a fat white rabbit and ate that too. Satisfied, she said to Link, "Okay, let's find my brothers now."

A/N: Anyone else notice how the trees always reappear after you cut them down in Okami? ...Yeah. I still feel guilty for cutting them down, though :P