Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter. It belong to J.K. Rowling and I'm not make money with this fanfic.

Pairing : Remus/Severus, Severus/Harry as family

Warning : It contain M/M relationship and M – preg, so if you don't like yaoi please don't read it.

Severus's POV

I'll do everything

I promised myself

I'll give everything

The final day has comes, the war was broke on the Hogwarts' land. With the newly grown up children as their soldiers along with some Order members and aurors, Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, leaded them to the final stages of this war. A war between the good and the bad. Dark and Light. A path that will leaded you to the death embraces, no matter which side you are.

I looked at my surrounding, checking every Death Eaters around me as they put their mask and hood back as I standing here in the very right side of the Dark Lord. I looked aside to Lucius Malfoy, whose standing on the left side of the Dark Lord. He glanced shortly at me with a wistful glance, giving me a slight nod as a sign that he is ready to carry out our last plan on this war. To stop this long and tiring war.

Finally after this long waiting, the half of my life has been dedicated for this last war. Our suffering on our role as a double agent as we both protected the person we loved the most from the clutched of the Dark Lord.

His family for Lucius and my own family for me. Yes, a family that I never had a chance to grasped, to admit and to tell. A ruin family that I hold so dear in my heart. A long lost lover and son, my own son. A son whose I gave to my supposed to be rival and to my very dear bestfriend which I failed to protected from the grasped of the Dark Lord sixteen years ago.

A son which I had to shone by myself to protected him from the spies the Dark Lord sent to the school. A son that I had to scold with so much hatred and anger for his recklessness all this years when I found out he faced the Dark Lord by himself, every year. It killed me little by a little as the headmaster told me about his adventured around the school. I wished I could come to him by myself to lectured and punished him even explained what I mean by scolding him and why he shouldn't do that reckless attitude. I wished I could hug and kissed his pain away as he stayed on the hospital wing every year after he faces the Dark Lord again and again.

My heart clenched everytime I saw his loneliness when he's been sent away to the Dursley's house every year. I always argue with the headmaster to take my baby away from them, send him to a better family. I don't even mind to let him go to the Weasley as long as it make him happy even if I have to give you to Black. I cried everytime I let him go again and again to a family that never had any relation with him since the beginning. To acknowledged that my baby has been abused and starve. I wished I could hex them even avada kedavra them all by myself and take him away, never let him go again. My only son and my little jewel who held the half piece of my heart. My only reasoned why I keep on my espionage to the Dark Lord, finding as much clue as I could to protected my little angel from him, from his own destiny.

It was the least I can do to proof myself to him that I love him so much, I will give my self to be hate by my own son to make sure he can lived his life after this foolish war. The war that take him away from me but I'm not sorry to kept my role for him. He's the only reason of my existents in this rotten world. My light to my darkness, as his other father.

If he's knows that he still had any family, I know that he'll hate me from kept it a secret from him, so does his other father. I'm sorry I had to keep it a secret to both of you. Not because I don't love you but because I loves you both too much to burdened this secret onto the both of you. I would bury this secret along with me as long as I had to, the very secret that you're not a son of the Potters, but mine with his bestfriend, the last Marauder that ever live, Remus Lupin.

It's always a wonder to me that his trait never been passed on you. His werewolf gene never be in your blood but you indeed had his werewolf strength either physically and magically and his good heart too. You had his smile and it's hurt to seen it everytime you smile or laughed. I see him in you. Though the headmaster had altered your look with the Potters trait, but in my eyes I always see him in you. His soft heart, his bravery and his friendship, everything I love from him even until now. You know what? Both of you seems to love DADA even more than I do.

Did you ever wonder how can a greasy and slimy Slytherin like me could get a Gryffindor as his lover, especially one of the Marauder, his own personal tormentor? Heh, if that time someone told me that I would have a son from a Marauder even falling in love with him, I would hex them till the next week. But to tell you the truth, the reason we got together begin from the Whomping Willow accident. That accident didn't tear us apart, well maybe just a little since we never had a good history to begin with, so what if that little bit to be tear once again, but like a Gryffindor he was, the accident made Remus chased me everyday. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Imagined how irritated it for me as he chased me around and I had to avoided his ugly face every time and then. His first intention was pure just to made me accepted his apologies, but of course I never forgave him that easily and that too made Potter chased me along with him. And once again for that damn Gryffindor trait, he tried to help his bestfriend to ease his guilty in almost killing me in Whomping Willow.

I, of course, tried as best as I could to avoid to met them and unfortunately for me that they always found me in the end. That's what triggered me to begin to know them both more and begin to ease our grudged on each other. I even dated the damn werewolf who once tried to eat me alive. Damn his cuteness and persistent and it's a foolish of me to fell for it. And to rub the sore pride of mine, I even become close with Potter and Lily once again.

Our relationship becomes a secret between Lily, James, Remus and me for we know that Black and Pettigrew would be furious with this, especially Black. I still dated Remus until the Dark Lord become too powerful. He's taking followers and killed every body who dared to oppose him, especially the Potter. James refused his bargain from the first time and made him a prey for the Dark Lord to be killed. That was the first reason why I took the Dark Mark. To got inside the circle and spy at them for my own benefit, to protect my friend.

The first friend I ever had beside Lucius. I never had a friend like them. They accepted me even supporting me on my relationship with Remus. They protected our secret for our happiness though it hurt him so much to kept a secret from the other member of the Marauder but he kept on doing it for us. And I do really grateful for that. It was the least I could do to repay them. I'm a Slytherin and Lucius' friend, it makes me easy to get inside the inner circles and with my skill as a potion master, it would makes me more valuable.

But what I don't estimate was they furious as they saw my mark when I forget to erect my barrier around it once I finished my shower that day. And what makes it unfortunate event became worst is I don't have time to explained it to Remus. He walked away from me as I failed to explain it to him due to my stubbornness and pride, and that was the same time I lost my chance to tell him that I have his child in me. That was the worst time I ever felt. I lost my lover and two of my bestfriend in one day.

Everyday from that unfortunate day and after I found out about my condition, I tried to asked the Potter about Remus where about but they refused to let me know without a good reason and I can't told them. To tell you the truth, I'm afraid on telling them, afraid that he would freak on me as a male pregnancy was the rarest trait that ever had. I'm afraid to lose them more than I already had. And I'm standing still on my decision for not telling them about my reason for taking the dark mark. I don't want James and Lily felt any guilty to me. I choose this by myself and I'm doing it with my entire all.

Not too long from the last time I go to met James, I'm getting a tasked that given by the Dark Lord for the entire Death Eaters. The tasked was to killed James and Lily Potter, not just because he married a muggle born, he was the worst enemy of the Dark Lord. I tried to go to the Godric Hollow, to their house to warn them about it but when I arrived there, I can't find it out. The house just disappears like a fog. I'm very relieved and disappoint, relieved that before the death eater had a chance to get and hurt them, they already gone into hiding but I felt a disappointment erupt on my chest as I too lose my only hope to know where my lover was. I'm looking for the Potters for my own purpose but soon enough, I lost all of my hope and I stopped looking out the Potter as I had no strength on doing it anymore.

As soon as it comes, this little gift was the last thing that kept me intact and sane most of time. His tiny kick and punch, his strong heartbeat when the first time I ever heard it makes my heart soar in warm and happiness. This little miracle was my only anchor in this world as my world shattered beneath my feet.

The mistake that I take for my friend's sake became the worst regret I ever done. The hunting and torturing session with the death eaters, it's sickening me the most. They even forced me to hex and killing people just for fun, muggles and wizards or witches. I'm grateful that I always used a glamour since I found out that I'm pregnant. I hide my pregnancy from every body, especially the Dark Lord. I would hate myself if my child was being force to take the dark mark, to follow my mistake. And because of this mistake too I had to lose my little angel.

When I heard the prophesy from the witch in the Hogmeade, about a boy who'll born in July that year that would taking down the Dark Lord, I had a very unsettling feeling. A churned feeling that something bad would come and to my deepest regret, it does come.

The Dark Lord heard me whispering the prophesy that I heard this afternoon as I counted the day for my baby to born. I wished that the prophesy wouldn't involved my little baby, but Lady Luck seems to never gave her smile on me. Not only the Dark Lord know about the prophesy because my recklessness, I too endanger my angel because he would be born in July. It shook me to the core as I became frantic to search for help. A help to make my baby safe and sound.

I'll do anything for my little angel

I'll do anything for my love

I'll give my life for you

Since that, the Dark Lord begin to hunted down every children that born in that unfortunate month. They tortured the family and killed the baby. My stomach churned and I felt guiltier. Very guilty on my recklessness. If I never whispered it, I would never have to tell him and nobody would be death because of that.

When my due date becomes closer, I'm more desperate for an escape. I cried and cried as guilty weighting me out. I go to the headmaster and told him my story. He heard my rambled patiently as he calmed me down. He sat me on the couch as he asked my coincidence to become his spy in return for his help on my problem. For my baby and my guilt, to win the war, to kept my baby alive. As he said if I became his spy, I would make sure the safety of my son with the information I get from the inner circles and it would too make up my guilt by saving the people that should be killed by the Dark Lord as we, the Order can set them up and captured them before they can hurt even killed them.

I'm surprised as he told me to give up my son to be taken care by someone else. I refused for the beginning but when he explained his reasoning to me, I can't argue anymore with him. I had to do this for my son's safety. If I'll kept active on the inner circle it would be a great danger if I had a baby with me, afraid that sometimes the fellow dark eater would come by anytime and I can't hide him without being found out later. And I don't want to take any risk with my son's life.

I understand clearly about it, but still it hurts to let my baby go, to never hold him again. Never saw his first step, his first teeth or his first word. Never saw his first smile and hear his laugh. I cares my bulging stomach where my son rest peacefully inside me. I cried softly as I hugged myself, embracing both of us, the baby and me. I heard the headmaster voice still talking to me. He asked me to choose who the Order member I wish to give my son to. My heart clenched hard at the thought, my only reason to live would leave me and would never know that I'm his 'mother'. He wouldn't know that I'm the one who carried him for 9 months, loving him and delivered him to this world. I would lose him for the rest of my life, to be no one significant in his life. No one but a stranger as he called someone else as his parents. Loving them and care for them. Someone else but me.

My tears poured down my cheeks, leaving him would take my life away from me. But what other choice that I had? None. I looked up to the headmaster as he extends the list in front of me. I take the list with my shaking hand. With a blurry eyes from tears, I opened the list and found every name of the available family in Order who can take my son in. I scan the list slowly until I found out the Potters name in there. I'm so glad that they were fine and safe. My breath hitched as I point out that the Potter will be a surrogate parents for my soon to be born son. It's better to give him to James and Lily than someone I hardly know. At least I know their personality and they're Remus' bestfriend. At least it would ease my heart a little to know that my little angel would be taken care and be love.

The headmaster seems surprised on my choosen parents but said nothing and I too explained nothing at him. He seems understand on my quietness and he said nothing in return. I told him that I agree with his plan but I asked him to fulfill one condition for me. To make the Potter vow not to tell anyone about us, even their Marauder best friend. The headmaster agrees with me and contacted the newly wedded. He explain just a little bit about my condition and story without giving my name and asked them to vow not to let this confidential new spreads as it would endanger the 'mother' and the baby. They seem to agree and giving their vows not to let this news to anybody, not even his bestfriend without the consent of the 'mother' or the headmaster. What they didn't know was soon they would regret their vow greatly as they had to take the secret along with them to their bed death.

Several days before my due date, the headmaster takes me to the Potter residence at Godric Hollow. When I'm arrived, they surprised to see me. I looked at them calmly as they tried to cope with the surprised they got. They scrutinize me from the head to the tips of my toes. I let them do whatever they wish to do as I'm already tired with the rollercoaster of my emotion these day. The sadness and grief that I felt dearly each time as one day passed to the other. Counting the day I would lose everything I held dear. First my lover then my bestfriends and the final blow is my own son.

Lily looks like she want to say something but I just turn my head as I said to the headmaster that I'm tired and want to rest. Lily shut her mouth as James gritted his jaw tightly. His eyes full of regret, regret for abandoning me. Alone and pregnant as my lover disappear in nowhere. Leaving me behind like I'm just a garbage. I felt betrayed by them but in my own sick mind I know that I'm not good enough for them. My face shows nothing of my emotion as they sent me to my room.

As I am staying at the Potter residence, Lily and James tried to comfort me by fulfilling every whim that I need. I'm hardly asked anything as I'm just savoring every moment I have left with my baby. I know they felt guilty about everything, especially after the headmaster finally told them all the true story at them. Honestly, I hardly care anymore, what done was done. I'm as guilty as they are in this case. If I'm just given in and let them know my reasoning, it would never be happen. But it's too late now. I'm already accepted that that my relationship with Remus and them has been destroyed beyond repair and when I think about it further maybe it was the best thing for everybody. Back to the life as the Marauder with their prey.

I always think to let Remus know, to tell him about our son, but I know I can't do that. I know he would love to be with him, to take care of him, but it can't be done. If the Ministry of Magic knows that Remus has a child, they would brand him too and I don't want it. I don't want to destroy my son's future, beside I know the Ministry of Magic would take the child from him too. It would be the best if he stays with the Potter. Lily loves children, so I know my son would be loved and safe. A permanent family would do well for a child growth. After a long waiting, finally my little baby wishes to be born. And in 31st July, 1984, was born a very beautiful boy with a black soft hair and golden eyes to the world. A boy named Harold Godric Snape – Lupin whose turn become Harold James Potter.

The headmaster suggests that we altered the baby feature to resemble to the Potter and I'm agreed with him. It would be strange if Harry has a very different feature from his parent, the Potter. From there on, we charmed him so he has a ruffles black hair as James and emerald green eyes of Lily's. He resembles of James, but in my heart I always know he's resembles to Remus.

Lily always asked me to tell Remus about Harry, but I always ignore her suggestion. I know what I'm doing would hurt him, but at least I could try my harder to prevent more hurt on him. I never wish to see his regret for leaving me nor not being there for me. I don't want him to regret his choice to disappear from me and the most important is I don't want him to suffer for not had a chance to take care his own son, to gave it to someone else eventhough it was his bestfriend. I wish to protect him as much as I could for I love him still and I know I would never stop loving him.

It's enough it's just me who suffer for this. It's enough that I the only one who shoulder this responsibility and guilty. Don't you know how surprised of me when the Dark Lord found out about Harry's existent, as he attack the Godric Hollow though the house has been cover with fidelius charm. I almost panicked if the headmaster not calm me down again, and once again my mistake take something important from me. I lost two of my friends because of it. I make Harry an orphan just a few months after I delivered him to this world and gave him to his new family. And what hurt me the most that I had to gave him to Lily's only relative, Petunia, for I know what she looks like and personality.

I asked the headmaster to reconsider his choice in leaving Harry there but he talked about Harry's safety. He's not safe with me for the loose death eater would spying on me from now and then and he's cannot be with Remus too for his condition as werewolf. Sirius is in Azkaban and Pettigrew gone. Who else to count on? I had to allow my son being rise in the last family he ever have, the relative of his late mother, Lily Potter.

The headmaster forbids me to go to him for his safety. Did you know how much I miss him when I saw him again in his first year in Hogwarts? How longed I wish to hug him and gather him in my arm and saying that I'm his real father? Did you understand how hurt for me that I can't say it all to him and to pretended to hate him for his late father? It's hurt but it's worth for his safety from the death eater.

Did you know how anxious I am when I know the Dark Lord revived from his death? How I hope I can replaced him to kill that bastard for him, but I know I can't. I'm not strong enough and I know Harry is strong to defeat the Dark Lord. Did you know how I relieve when he come back, hurt but alive every time he faced the Dark Lord and how I keep on prying for his safety?

It's hurt to see him alone and thirst of love. It's hurt to see him starve and lonely. The happiest moment that I ever felt was when Harry met Remus for the first time on his third year. How close they are though they don't know that they are a father and son. I wish I could storm there and hug them both and told him the secret. But I can't do that, not before everything was over. After all this time, after what has been happened I'm still in love with him. With my Remus. I misses him so much and he's so thin. His robe tattered and there's a gray hair on his honey brown haired. Oh how I wish I could kiss him once again. Saying I love you still, back into his arms along with our son. But it's not the time. Not when the Dark Lord still exist. I won't endanger my loved one because of my selfishness. If the Dark Lord know I has a relationship with a werewolf, and the most important, one of the Order, he would killed me and that's can be done. Not when my son still in danger. Being pursue by a mad man.

I'm success on finding a wolfbane potion for Remus but I'm still kept on trying to make a cure for his lycanthropy. I just need a little more time, I'm just need some little more time. For my greatest give for him. And now, here I am. Finally the final war has come, and I'm worry like a shit for my son. I can felt the ended has nearer but everything has flowed like what I've planted. Remus would free from his lycanthropy. Right now Harry has a relationship with Draco. My two precious person involve with each other. My son and my godson. Nothing could make me happy more than that. At least I know that my little one now has someone to take care of him and to love him. And there's Remus. When his lycanthropy is cure with my new potion, we could take care Harry together as a family, though maybe it would be hard for the first time. Especially after how I treat him all this time for my cover. I just hoping he could forgive me and try to love me back.

When I looking for Remus to speak with him about his wolfsbane potion, I saw him in the room with a beautiful girl with a pink hair. They laughed together as they sat side by side on the couch. My face paling at the scene I saw before me. My heart stop in the instant as I saw Remus pull the girl to his strong chest. I gritted my teeth as I looked away from them. I had to admit it hurts so much to know that Remus has move on on me and here I am, stuck in the middle and I can't get out. I can't move on from him, from Remus. But what should I say? I could do nothing, especially with the uncertainty result of the war for all of us. If that what he wish and the best for him, then I would respect it. Though my heart bleed as I saw my ex – lover kissed the Tonks girl softly on her lips as happiness written all over their face.

It maybe just my selfish wish that somehow after the war over, I still could court Remus back, to gather my family back to me. My eyes watered as my dream vanished before my eyes. I shake my head and turn back to leave the two lovebirds alone along with my broken dream and hope.

My little angel

My love

I captured you both with both of my hands

I embraced you and hold onto you

Spell slashing and thrusting everywhere trying to touches its target. Everything in chaos as everybody fighting for their own believes and hopes. Hope in peaceful world without fear anymore. I looked around and found my ex – lover fighting with Voldemort along with Harry. I found rage enveloping Harry, making him impatient and reckless on the taunting the Dark Lord throws at him. I'm begin to worry as I felt a swirls of magic begin to rise and ready to blow.

'Don't listen to him, Harry. He's nor worth it. Calm your rage and think carefully.' I sent my thought at him. He was surprised, I know. He begins to calm down and assess all of the battle field, erecting his barrier and attention to every single things around him as he's been teaches before. Remus smiles at it as he too begins to calm and fight his own fighting. They begin to attack each other.

I curse some death eaters that begin to near the Dark Lord. Either I stunned them or hex them. I keep on glancing to my son as I try to come nearer to him. Remus has been separate by the death eater as he fight them, leaving Harry alone with his own enemy. Harry tried to dodge some hex that been throw by the death eater whose running to help his master. He rolls down but as he tried to stand up, the Dark Lord has cast an avada kedavra at him. Remus scream at Harry to dodge, but I know it was too late for it. Remus blow the death eater who's sent a hex on Harry with rage before he run toward him.

Before I know what's happened, I'm already there in front of my little baby. I hug him close as I shield his body from the spell that would hit him. He gasps in surprise as I caress his hair softly. I'm so happy. For the last 18 years of my life I felt a surge of happiness one more time. Finally I could take my son on my arms once again and for the last time. I could inhale his sweet scent and felt his solid form against my body. To felt his soft hair between my finger as I caress him for the last time.

Finally I had the bundle of joy back into my arms. Finally I get my baby back though I lost my lover forever. I'm sad that I had to leave them again, how I wish I could be with them at least for awhile, but I know I couldn't. If it was my life to be exchange with the life of my son, I would give it gladly. I heard someone screamed in terror before cheers begin to erupt. But I can't hear anything. What I hear is the gasp of my little angel on my arms, the soft voice of my son at my ears before I could hear nothing no more.

I smile softly as I close my eyes. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder, touching me gently as they pull me away softly. When I opened my eyes, I saw Lily touched my shoulder softly as a gentle smile paste on her lips. James stretched his hand at me with a smirk on his lips and Dumbledore smile softly at me.

'Well done, my dear boy.' Dumbledore said softly at me. His eyes shining with proud and happiness also it fills with sadness. Happiness that finally the world would be safe once again, the proud he felt at my brave action and sadness for me to leave my happiness once again before I can taste them. But I don't mind, at least finally I could keep him safe and I had my last chance to hug my son one more time, for the last time I can hold him in arms again. My long lost child has been back to me though for little awhile.

'It's over, Sev. He's safe now. The both of them.' Lily told me softly, never losing her gentle smile.

'Yes, he's gone. Voldemort finally death. Just like Lily, you save him with your love. You even destroy the hocrux inside his head.' James said gently, 'Now it's time for us to go too. Padfoot waiting for us.' James continued softly. I quirked my eyebrow at his words. Black waiting for me? I definitely already death, then. I chuckled softly thinking on irony of life before I grasped James hand as he pulled me up. Lily clutched my hand as I smile softly at the headmaster.

'Let's we move on.' He said as he pushed my back forward softly, taking Lily place at my right side as Lily grabbed James hand tightly. I nodded at them before I turn back for one last time. Looking back to the two people that I love until my last breath.

'Be happy, my love and my little one.' I murmured softly before I'm turning back and walked along with the long lost friends that I finally get back though I have them back in death.

The Dark Lord scream as a white light erupted from Severus body as his forbidden cursed hit straight to Severus' back. The Dark Lord writhed and kept on screaming, fire blazing on his body, eating it alive before it turn his body into dust. All of his body.

The battle field stop in an instant as the Dark Lord screamed surprising every body. Cheers soon erupt from everybody as the Dark Lord finally death. The rest of the death eater begin to scattered around, looking for a way to escape the auror clutches. Harry stunned in silent as he felt a body slid down as Remus screamed filling his blank mind.

'Why? Why I felt like this? Why I felt that I know his touches before? His soft voice..' Harry gasped as he felt a wet trickled down his cheeks. He touches his cheek as tears keep on flowing. His breath hitch in his chest as he looks at Remus as he clutched Severus Snape lifeless body and crying loudly. Screaming at him for coming back and how much he loves him still. I stares at him, my mind blank as I still comprehend with the recently event.

I felt someone touch my shoulder, awaking me from my reverie. I look up as Hermione force a smile on her lips before she broke down and begin to cry. Ron circling his arms to her waist, to let her crying on his shoulder as he throws a look full of regret at Remus sobbing form. He closed his eyes as he blocks the tears that begin to gather around his eyes. Draco sat still beside his godfather still form as he grasped his hand tightly, refusing to accepted that his second role father has been robe from him. Leaving him forever. He just sat still and stares at the soft and peaceful feature of the sleeping potion master as the final war was over.

Fly away my love

Fly fly away my little angel

Flying high and free

I opened my arms to let you go

Now I let you go

A/N : Review please..