well, I didn't mean for it to come out so angsty, but there you go! (: please review.

the epic love story that never was

"And with vampires, it's incredibly important that you need to…" Teddy trails off, his attention diverted by a flash of red hair and an all-too-familiar peal of laughter. It's not really that distracting; he doubts half the class even heard, but Teddy can see the white-blonde hair next to the red and the deep laugh as well, and he suddenly can't even see straight from the rush of jealousy that runs through him.

It must be because he's Lily's god-brother for Merlin's sake, and he's overly-protective, he tells himself, as he clears his throat and drones, "Mr. Scamander, Ms. Potter, as much as we all love vampires, they are not that amusing, so let's pay attention, shall we?" He sounds like an eighty year old man, and he hates Lily for doing this to him (but even as he thinks it, he knows it's a lie).

Lysander ducks his head and mumbles an apology, but Lily ignores him and doesn't even bother to meet his eyes. Teddy sighs. She doesn't do well with authority in general, he reminds himself, and she certainly doesn't see him as authority, so it's nothing personal (he hopes). "As I was saying, with vampires-"

He's interrupted by Lily's clear whisper. "Sorry Ly, I didn't realize he'd be such a grouch. Something must have crawled up his knickers this morning."

He spins around, face flushed, and glares at Lily, all calm, teacher-ly disapproval forgotten. "Lily, shut up, and see me after class. Now. Vampires!"

x.x

"You wanted to see me, Professor Lupin?" Lily asks, grinning impishly.

"Yeah, I did," Teddy snarls. "What're you playing at, fooling around with Lysander?"

Lily's eyes narrow dangerously. "Excuse me?"

"He's smarmy," Teddy says irritably. "I don't like him."

"Well, Vicky," Lily says, drawing out the nickname that Victoire hates, "is conceited. I don't like her, but you're with her anyway, so who the hell are you to tell me who I should be with?"

"Language," Teddy reprimands absently. "You're sixteen, you don't need a boyfriend. I'm twenty-seven, I can date whoever I damn well please."

"Language," Lily spits back at him. "Double standard."

"Sixteen, twenty-seven," Teddy reminds her infuriatingly (he can't get the age difference out of his mind, so why should she be able to forget?).

Lily rolls her eyes and then pauses, looking calculatedly innocent. "You know, Teddy, I think the reason why you're so fixated on the age difference is because you secretly want to date me, but you can't, because you think it would be wrong."

Teddy can't breathe for a second, his heart pounding wildly, confronted by the cold truth coming out of Lily's mouth, of all people. And then Lily smirks slightly, and Teddy exhales and rolls his eyes and pretends like his heart is not thumping out of control. "Yeah, that's exactly why. And you say Victoire is conceited?"

Lily shrugs. "Just a theory. No need to get your knickers in a twist."

"My knickers aren't in a twist," Teddy mutters sullenly. "And stop bringing them up, you freak!"

Lily laughs, and Teddy doesn't think Lysander appreciates the absolute radiance that is Lily Luna Potter when she's laughing at something you've said, but he does.

"You should get to Potions," Teddy says reluctantly, glancing at the clock. "And I have a first year class coming in."

Lily smirks. "Lysander's probably wondering where I am."

"I don't think he's good for you," Teddy says, looking into Lily's eyes, and damn it all to hell, he's not feeling very brotherly. "Please, Lily."

Lily hesitates. "Break up with Victoire. Then we'll talk." She smirks, and skips off, and Teddy has to grip the edge of his desk because he feels faint.

x.x

It's not the last time he sees her, of course. She sits in the back row of his class every other day, next to Lysander, and laughs defiantly when he snaps at them to stop talking.

But gradually, her laugh stops ringing out in his class, and she's content to just sit there next to him and whisper quietly. And her red hair and green eyes look a little less vibrant, and she stops being the formidable Lily Luna Potter, and instead turns into one half of LilyandLysander, her personality swallowed and her identity diminished. And it breaks Teddy's heart.

x.x

"Albus!" Teddy practically shouts, running to catch up with the quickly-retreating Slytherin. "Albus, wait!"

"What?" Albus finally snaps, turning around. "I'm meeting Scorpius."

"He can wait," Teddy says rudely. "I need to talk to you. About Lily."

"What about her?" Albus says, immediately bored.

"Hasn't she changed with Lysander? Don't you think she's different now?" Teddy asks, feeling pathetic.

Albus smirks at him knowingly. "She's in love. Sorry, mate."

"No, it's not that," Teddy snaps. "I'm asking as a concerned friend. She seems quieter. Less like herself. He made her lose her personality. And I don't like it."

Albus looks like he's restraining himself from rolling his eyes. "Look, Ted. She's fine. People change. There's not some sinister reason behind it. Maybe she's quieter, yeah, but maybe it's because she doesn't need as much attention, now. She has a boyfriend. She's happy." He gives Teddy a pitying look. "So just leave her alone. And I gotta go."

"Don't you think it's a little unfair you to be sneaking around with Scorpius when your cousin is practically in love with him?" Teddy lashes out at Albus' retreating back.

Albus whirls around, all pity gone, his eyes bright with dislike. "Oh, sod off," he says angrily. "You're just pissed because Lysander can kiss Lily and be with Lily and you're too much of a coward to ever admit to her how you really feel."

Albus storms off and Teddy gapes after him, his inner soul having been read by an angsty teenager.

x.x

Teddy's staring broodingly at the lake when he feels a small hand lightly touch his shoulder. He looks up, and there's Lily, staring down at him. "Hey," he says, managing a smile.

She doesn't return it. "I heard you were an arse to my brother," she says, narrowing her eyes.

Teddy feels his stomach plummet. What did Albus tell her? "I merely pointed out that his sneaking around with Scorpius can only hurt Rose. It's not right, Lily."

"Oh, shut up," Lily says angrily, her eyes lighting up with that familiar spark Teddy loves. "You think he doesn't know that? Of course he knows. It's a sucky situation, but he loves Scorp, and who are you to butt into his business? But of course you've been doing a lot of that lately. You don't need to be concerned about me, Teddy Lupin. I know you don't like Lysander. The whole Wizarding world knows you don't like Lysander. But I love him, and that's all that matters. You don't get to decide who I date, and you sure as hell don't get to talk to my brother about me behind my back. If you have something to say to or about me, say to my face. And another thing-"

"Lily," Teddy cuts her rant off and looks at her beseechingly. "I'm sorry. You're right, I've been unfair and nosy and you have every right to be angry."

Lily sighs and sits down next to him, slightly deflated at getting her way so fast. "Why though?" she asks quietly, hugging her skinny knees to her chest.

He shrugs. "I was worried about you. You seem so much quieter in class, and I thought that-"

"I'm not disappearing, Ted," Lily says, sighing in a very world-weary way. "I don't need to be obnoxious in your class anymore. I have Ly, and we can talk quietly to each other, and it's fine."

"Well, actually, no, it's against the rules," Teddy points out, and smiles as Lily nudges him playfully with her shoulder. "But okay. I was out of line and being an overprotective, over-concerned friend. I admit it. Happy?"

"Thrilled," Lily says dryly.

They sit quietly for a moment, and then: "I broke up with Victoire," Teddy blurts.

Lily eyes him interestedly. "Oh? Why?"

"She deserved more," Teddy mutters. He looks up just in time to see Lily scramble to her feet, tears in her eyes.

"Of course she does," Lily spits at him, and almost manages to slip away before Teddy grabs her arm.

"What?" he asks, bewildered, trying to hang on to the red spitfire in front of him.

"What about me, Teddy?" she practically shouts at him. "What do I deserve? Don't I deserve better than all this…this…jealous uncertainty?"

"Lily," Teddy says carefully. "Of course you do. But I'm twenty-seven, and you're sixteen, and as smarmy as Lysander is, he's the better option in all this." He stares at his hands, feeling empty and depressed and fuck, mature.

Lily lets out a quivering sigh and then launches herself at him, her lips hungrily fastening on to his. Teddy's heart races as he holds Lily's silky red hair in his hands and inhales the sweet scent of her skin that's so close to him because it's all exactly how he imagined. But with every inch of maturity and reasonableness that he can still claim to possess, he pushes her away, and when he sees Lily's eyes in front of him, bright and huge and luminous, he thinks it's the hardest thing he's ever had to do.

"Sorry," Teddy manages. "But we're at Hogwarts, and I'm a professor here, and-"

"No, I'm sorry," Lily says, her voice oddly calm, but her eyes burning. "I shouldn't have done that. It was a mistake. I'm with Lysander. And you're…you're not with me."

"Lily," Teddy chokes out, but she's gone, disappeared into the night, and he's all alone with his damn maturity.

x.x

She graduates the next year, and Teddy watches her sparkle and shine as she darts up the stage in her shimmery green and silver robe. She meets his eyes for a moment, and then she throws herself into Lysander's waiting arms, and Teddy is left avoiding pitying glances from Victoire.

And really, he deserves it because he's a coward, and he was supposed to be Gryffindor. He was supposed to be as brave as his mum and his dad, who defiantly ignored the Wizarding bias against werewolves to fall in love and marry. Teddy can't even tell a seventeen-year-old girl how much he's crazy about her.

x.x

She travels to Romania after graduation, and Teddy writes long letters to her by candlelight, letters that bare his soul and heart and leave nothing out. And then he burns the letters, one by one, dangling them by the candle's flame and watching as they slowly turn to ash.

In the end, he scrawls a quick Miss you on a card, and sends it without thinking. She never writes back.

x.x

She's gone for a year, and it seems like forever. And then he gets an owl from Harry, with a scribbled invitation to a party in honor of Lily's return.

Teddy goes without thinking, but as soon as he Apparates on the grounds of the Potter house and sees the swarms of Weasley-Potters, he suppresses a quick pang of regret. He used to be considered one of their own, but after Victoire- and Merlin knows what Lily told them- he doesn't think he'll receive the same treatment.

Dominique bounces up to him, confirming his thoughts. "Professor Lupin," she practically shouts, clutching a bottle of firewhiskey in one hand, and dragging along her latest conquest with the other.

"Dom, call me Teddy," he says wearily, scanning the crowds and feeling a jolt every time he sees a flash of red- which is often.

"Professor," Dominique continues stubbornly, "why are you here? Victoire's with her new boyfriend. She's happy without you."

Teddy cringes and tries to sound casual. "I'm glad. She deserves to be. I'm just here to say hi to the Potters. Say hi to Lily, hear about her adventures in Romania. That's it."

Dominique rolls her eyes heavenward. "Of course. Except Lily's with Lysander."

"I know," Teddy snaps. "I'm just saying hello. Okay?"

Dominique smirks at him and turns back to her friend. "Whatever you say," she calls over her shoulder, flouncing away.

Teddy scowls after her. He feels a tap on his shoulder, and spins around to face Lysander. "Oh," Teddy says wearily, trying not to show his disappointment. "Wotcher, Lysander."

"Professor Lupin," Lysander says, grinning. "I didn't know you were coming."

Teddy shrugs miserably. "I just thought I'd welcome back Lily. See how Romania was."

"Oh, it was awesome," Lysander says immediately, his eyes lighting up. "I'll let her tell you, but really, mate, have you ever been?"

"No," Teddy says weakly, staring at him. "You were there with her?"

Surprise flickers over Lysander's face, and he shrugs. "Yeah. I got there a week after Lil did. It was so fun. Her uncle really is a good man, have you met him?"

"Er, yeah, I have," Teddy says, before trailing off entirely.

Lysander looks at him, confused, and then notices Lily. "Oh, there you are, love."

Lily beams at him before turning her steely gaze back to Teddy. "So you came."

It's the first words he's heard from her in over a year, and Teddy can only nod mutely. He stares at her, drinking her in. She's changed over the past year. Her long red hair has been chopped to her shoulders, and is streaked with the light of the sun. Her skin is freckly now, and a little tanner than the porcelain white it once was. Her eyes are a little less naïve, a little more world-weary. And Teddy can't look away.

Lily clears her throat pointedly. "Well, Teddy, it was nice seeing you. Romania was great. I'll have to owl you some pictures."

There once was a time when she'd be hugging him excitedly, talking a mile a minute about what she had done since the last time she saw me. And Teddy would be hugging her back, laughing, talking with her. But now he only nods and smiles painfully. "That would be nice. We missed you around here."

Lily smiles briefly. "I know. I missed everyone too." Their eyes meet for a second, and then Teddy looks away. When he looks back up, Lily's smirking. "Well, Ly, we should probably go mingle."

Lysander eagerly looks up. "Oh, yeah, you're right. Well, we'll see you later, then, T- Professor Lupin."

"Okay," Teddy agrees glumly, and looks at Lily again. She's looking at Lysander, laughing and slipping her hand through his, and Teddy thinks his heart is breaking in a million little pieces as she walks away.

x.x

He was wrong. His heart was still whole enough to break all over again when an hour later, Lily screams with delight and her finger suddenly sparkles as much as she does.

x.x

He goes to her wedding, of course. Victoire's there, newly engaged, and comes up to him, her eyes soft. "Teddy," she whispers, placing her hand on his arm. "Why are you here? Don't torture yourself."

"I'm not," Teddy protests, trying to laugh. "I was their teacher, I'm Lily's godbrother. I'm just here to see a wedding!"

Victoire looks at him in disbelief. "If you say so."

Teddy nods and forces a smile. A blur of red catches his eye, and he excuses himself before rushing over. "I thought that was you," he says, grinning madly at Lily. "It's bad luck to see you in your wedding dress before the wedding, you know."

"That's only if the groom sees me, and he shouldn't," Lily snaps, looking around distractedly. "I'm looking for Lucy, she's supposed to help me with my hair." She gestures hopelessly at her hair. "It's supposed to be up in a tower of pretty curls…" She stops and smirks at him. "Ever think I'd be a silly bride concerned with her hair?"

"No," Teddy says, laughing as he playfully brushes a tendril of her hair. "But you're lovely, Lily, really. You look beautiful, hair tower or no."

Lily looks at him then, her eyes piercing. "Why are you here, Teddy?"

"I- I was invited," Teddy says defensively. "You don't want me here?"

Lily makes an exasperated gesture. "Well, we had to, Teddy! But no one actually thought you'd come. I mean, really, Teddy. Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

"Is it hard for you too?" Teddy asks quietly.

"Of course it is," Lily says, her eyes shiny. "Of course it is, Teddy. But this is the right thing for me, and I just- I don't need this right now."

Teddy touches her cheek gently. "Do you ever think this could be the right thing? We have so much potential."

She looks up at him, her green eyes as bright as ever. And then she's kissing him then, sweetly and softly and maybe just a bit sadly. "No," she breathes, pulling away. "Teddy, no. We're not right for each other, you know."

"Once-" Teddy manages, his heart racing.

"Yeah," Lily says, smiling sadly. "Once. Once maybe we would have been. But not now, Teddy. Now I'm with Lysander, and I'm happy, Teddy, I'm happy."

"I know," Teddy says past the huge lump in his throat. "And I'm happy for you, Lily, I really am."

Lily beams at him, relieved. "Thanks, Teddy. You don't know what that means, to hear you say that."

"Yeah," Teddy says, smiling at her. "And now I want to see you get married, so go back and get ready and I'll find Lucy for you."

"Thanks Teddy, you're a life-saver," Lily says brightly, squeezing his arm tightly before darting off into the dressing room.

Teddy watches her go, and tries to be happy.

x.x

She gets married and she has her hair up in a tower of pretty curls and she has a bright smile on her pretty face.

And she's happyhappyhappy and everyone is happyhappyhappy and Teddy has never been more miserable.

Because there were a million beautiful possibilities, and now they're nothing but ash.