Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my own creations.

Author's Note: I had always planned that HMAS Baby? would have a sequel titled HMAS Two?, where Mike and Kate are surprised to discover they are going to be parents for the second time. (This story is a work in progress and not yet uploaded.) The birth of the second Flynn child is covered in The Return of Ursula Morrell. Then this oneshot – HMAS Childcare – covers the third Flynn child. At some point in the future, this fic will then be followed by HMAS Kidnapped! before the oneshot Missing you ends my little universe.

And so, with that out of the way...

There were babies e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e!

His relationship with his son was rocky, but when Jamie emailed him to advise him that he'd, ah, knocked up a girl, Charge discovered that he was going to be a grandfather. His son was stationed in Melbourne, and that was where the girl was too, and so he thought he might be racking up some frequent flyer points soon.

Swain then burst into the small room on the ship with his own joyous news that Sally was pregnant – finally – and shoved the ultrasound images under his nose. Surely he'd learnt from last time that all he was going to do was call his offspring a frog? Apparently not. Plastering on a smile and saying all the words to appease Swain, Charge extracted himself from this conversation as swiftly as possible and escaped to the bridge.

Glad to see that Hammersley was swiftly approaching Cairns, Charge stood on the deck and looked toward the dock. Reality, peace and quiet at last. Spotting their old Executive Officer standing dockside, he raised his hand in greeting before his arm drops. Was he seeing what he thought he was seeing? Apparently so. There stood Kate McGregor (Kate Flynn, he corrected himself), pregnant. Wasn't it enough that the boss and she already had two other little rugrats at home? Why did they feel the need to propagate the world with even more little beings?

He didn't think it could get any worse, but when they headed out to the bar that afternoon, Charge got a rude shock again. They'd been a few sailors short for beer o'clock and 2 Dads had disappeared. The next time he saw him was an hour later when the electrician entered the pub with a short boy in tow. Taunts as to where he'd left his better half were responded to by the shy Tarquin who explained that is mother was at home with "all-day" sickness. Charge's head actually hit the bar table. You're kidding? Even Mr Irresponsible here was expecting?

Downing the remainder of his fifth drink, Charge reflected on the past 24 hours. Hell, it wasn't even 24 – just a mere eight hours. Maybe they should get rid of the Hammersley name and brand their ship HMAS Childcare. After all, there was enough offspring to around to man the entire ship! He knew one thing for sure though; there was no way in hell he was going to be around in five months time when all these babies popped out.

No such luck.

Within the space of a week in July, every single person that he knew pregnant managed to give birth; whether it be a natural birth, a caesarean, or in his son's girlfriend's case, a homebirth. With a sigh, Charge headed for the hospital gift shop to stock up on the obligatory presents.

A pink teddy bear went to Georgia Flynn, Mike and Kate's third child to join two year old Wyatt and one year old Jasmine at home. He was useless with faces and so he reckoned all the Flynn children looked the same. He refrained from saying so, thankful that this at least had been a 'stress' free birth. The nightmare that was Wyatt's birth was still fresh, and he'd die happy if he never heard the name Gordon Lockyer ever again.

It was another pink teddy bear for the room at the end of the hall where Lilly Blake, Swain and Sally's second daughter, was. The five year old Chloe was over the moon, bouncing off the walls when he stepped inside. For all his teasing, Charge was genuinely happy for the Coxswain and his wife.

Two doors up, and there was a need for a blue teddy bear this time: Krystal had given birth to Maximilian Kosov-Meyer. Charge very rarely saw a different side to the resident prankster and all-round arsehole, but seeing 2 Dads in the hospital room cradling the latest addition to his family before easing the baby into his twelve year old son's arms, how could he not go a little soft inside?

Done with the congratulations, Charge stepped outside the hospital and released a breath of relief as he threw his shoulders back. Hearing his phone ring, he fished his mobile out of his pocket. "Hey Gramps." His jaw actually drops when he realises the reason for this call is because he now had a grandson. His throat tightened when he heard his name was Milne Glenn Andrew Patterson: Milne for the Winnie the Pooh author, Glenn for his stepfather and Andrew for him. (Charge felt sorry for the kid if he ever decided to follow the family tradition and join the navy.)

All congratulated out, and hoping that this freak of nature run of babies would pass and that there would be no more surprises, Charge headed for his nice and peaceful home. Did he mention that it was quiet? Every child he'd held today had managed to bawl their eyes out. He only hoped that when he flew down to Melbourne in five weeks time, his grandson would be slightly more welcome.

And heaven help the next person who called him Gramps.

Finito.