3

xxxxx

When he finally opened his eyes the smell of the desert immediately let him know that he was 'home'. There were the sounds of machines, meaning he was probably in a hospital. He felt like shit, but a lot of that had to do with the fact that he had been tortured for three weeks straight for information by an unknown group of enemy ninja. He could only assume that they might have been mercenaries looking for information to sell. All of the major nations were at peace but there were a few smaller countries that became rebellious from time to time.

Frowning, he turned his head at something that had caught his eye. He thought it had been something red but when he blinked it was gone. Huh. Strange. He was so tired and weak, all he wanted to do was close his eyes and…

When he opened his eyes again he felt a lot better than he had initially and Hinata was in the room. When he turned his head it immediately caught her attention and a bright smile emerged. Her slender hands slid into his larger one.

"I'm so glad you're alright Neji-niisan. They said when they found you that you were half dead…and all of the enemy shinobi had been killed."

"I escaped." Oh wow, was that his voice? It sounded like pure crap "I had waited until night…killed some while sleeping…the rest while awake. Got lost."

She nodded "They found you. Temari and Kankuro had been on the rescue team."

"Okojo." He wanted to see the boy. For three weeks he had thought that he might not ever see his little boy again and that brought him no happiness. He wanted to see him, touch him, hear his voice.

Hinata gave him a warm smile and stood up. He saw the child then, slumped in one of the chairs asleep. When she approached his eyes immediately snapped open and he looked up at his mother curiously. "Your papa is awake now," she murmured softly "would you like to go say hi?"

Nodding, he clung onto her shirt until she reached the bed, then his arms were trying to stretch as far as they would go so he could hug his 'father'. Smiling, Neji raised a hand, brushing his fingers along the boy's cheek. Hinata shifted the bed so he was in a sit up position and he took the boy into his arms hugging him as tightly as he could.

"I missed you very much." He told the child, kissing his forehead "Were you good for your mother while I was gone?" a confused expression crossed his features but he nodded; large white eyes taking in his father's beat up form. Putting a hand through Okojo's hair he smiled. "I am fine, do not worry." With a sigh he pulled the boy closer and looked at Hinata "How bad is the damage?"

She shook her head "Nothing too serious. Um, you will have a lot of scars though…because of what they did."

He shrugged then winced in pain "I am not concerned about scars; I am alive, that is really all that matters." Closing his eyes he rubbed Okojo's back, smiling warmly as the child curled up and buried his face in his father's chest. Having the boy near made him feel loads better although he had to admit he was disappointed that a certain redhead wasn't around – not that he should be surprised. Three weeks of torture put a man's mind in perspective. He wanted to talk to him, if nothing else to be friends. Almost two years had gone by, he was sure the other man had moved on but Neji owed him an apology nonetheless. "Will they want to investigate me because I was tortured?"

She shook her head "You killed all of them so…there's no need. Gaara-sama said that no one is allowed to do anything official with you until he has spoken with you first."

Oh. That didn't sound good. "I take it then he wishes to speak to me the moment I am released?" when she nodded he ignored the feeling of apprehension crawling up his spine "I see. Thank you for telling me."

xxxxx

He did not go and see the Kazekage immediately after his release from the hospital. Instead he went home and spent time with Okojo and his cousin in their little house. It was not until nightfall that he made his way to the Kazekage's tower and he wasn't sure why but he had a feeling he knew where Gaara would be and it wasn't his office.

Suspicions were confirmed when he found himself up on the roof above the office where they had met many times before. He was standing on the other side, back facing him. The wind was blowing lightly, ruffling hair, robes and coat tails. Slowly he approached although he knew Gaara was aware of his presence. When he was almost an arm's length away the redhead turned and Neji could only stare.

His face, as always, was completely blank. His eyes, however, were blazing with emotions, so many he could not even attempt to identify them all. Their gazes locked and Neji felt his heart lodge up in his throat, rendering him speechless. No one had ever looked at him quite like the way Gaara was now. His heart had decided to fall back into his chest when the redhead moved, gait purposeful. Neji could only stand there as warm hands framed his face. He closed the distance and lips pressed hard against his. Before he realized it a soft moan had escaped from one of them and he had his arms wrapped tightly around the Kazekage, returning the kiss with equal fervor. Wait, how in the world…?

"I am in love with you." He declared and Neji's eyes widened, stunned. Even after all this time? "It was like this for me at the beginning." Taking a step back he dropped his hands to his sides "I understand that I am not desirable; I am only telling you this because…" he looked down and away from Neji "I did not wish for you to leave this world without knowing my feelings."

"Wait…" confusion moved through him. While he was stunned, shocked, and many other things at the confession, something he had said hadn't sounded right to him "What do you mean you're not desirable?"

He blinked once, a small sign of confusion "When I first approached you had seemed to find my actions repulsive. It is not that I do not understand, with who I am and my past I –"

"Gaara that is not…" he paused, realizing he had spoken to him so informally. Then again, the need for formalities was somewhat moot considering the situation "You thought I was disgusted by your advances? By you?" the redhead didn't answer and guilt rode him. For the past almost two years he had thought Neji had rejected him because he had been disgusted with who he was. It wasn't at all the truth but he should have realized the Kazekage, who had been considered a monster most of his life, would have come to that conclusion considering the way he had shied away and then abruptly left. He shook his head "That is not the reason I walked away that night."

This earned him a little frown "I am afraid I do not understand."

Wanting to show him that he was serious about his words Neji moved forward, taking the redhead's hands in his. There was a small gasp, almost inaudible, and he could actually see the other male's face warm as he brushed his thumb along thin, soft wrists.

No one has ever touched him like this before. He realized and knowing that was like a blow to the stomach. Prior to Gaara's fight with Naruto the boy had rarely even been touched, he hadn't even known physical pain until he had fought Rock Lee. The villagers fear of him had only recently faded after the Akatsuki's attack on the village and taking the redhead's demon. There were the younger generations, the ones who had been too young to know who Sabaku no Gaara had been. Regardless, it meant that being touched or embraced was a rare occurrence – if it even happened at all. Even his siblings kept a physical distance from their little brother. He was sure this was the first time anyone had ever really touched him in any sort of manner beyond medical or combat reasons.

Gently, Neji tugged until their bodies were very close. The Kazekage stiffened, jade eyes looking into silver with a bit of confusion and something else; probably whatever sensation he was experiencing from Neji's touch. "Forgive me," Hyuuga began "I walked away not because I was repulsed, but because I was afraid." He shook his head when Gaara's expression shifted slightly "Not of you." He waited until he had the other's attention "You are a powerful political figure. While our families might be fine with the two of us being together that is not always the case with everyone else. Same sex relationships are not common in the world, although they are not outlawed in most areas. As a Hyuuga being the center of attention is not something we crave and I am a naturally reclusive individual. I was afraid of how a potential relationship would affect your reputation; you have fought hard to build it into something good and honorable and I had feared I would drag you down. In addition, I had also feared the scrutiny. Then there was the fact that having romantic feelings for another had been terrifying to me. I am not normally an affectionate person and I allow very few to become close to me." He smiled slightly "It had nothing to do with you as a person. In those weeks that I had been in captivity, I realized how foolish and silly I had been. When I had thought that I would be killed, all I thought of was how much of my life I had wasted avoiding you when we could have been together. My reasoning began to seem nonsensical and I…realized that these past two years my feelings have developed into…" with a frustrated sigh he shifted, completely startling the other male when he wrapped his arms around him in an embrace "My feelings for you are the same is what I am saying. Forgive me for hurting you…and dragging this out for so long. I will understand if you do not wish to take this any further."

The two men pulled away from each other, their expressions distant and contemplative "I believe…I understand." Gaara's pale face was still flushed from the unexpected intimacy. "But this was not what I was expecting. I am not sure what to think or how to feel with this new knowledge. I never expected you to return my feelings…I had accepted that fact."

Once more he felt like a bastard "You no longer need to feel that way; if you need to hear the words then I will say them. I love you, as you love me. The potential ridicule, the fear of being in the center of attention, all of that means little in comparison to not being with you. I have been unhappy with how everything had turned out; I miss the times we spent together and I miss the way you would look at me with such emotion. If we only went back to that, to standing out here and enjoying the silence, I would be happy. I just want to be in your company again, it does not matter how."

He wasn't looking at him but Neji knew it was from shock at the words. Two years of believing that a person had been disgusted with you only to find that it had been the complete opposite wasn't something someone adjusted to automatically. If Gaara did forgive him, he knew he would have to make it up to him somehow.

Actual confusion seemed to be more along the lines of Gaara's feelings instead of anger and he looked up at Neji, frowning slightly "You…truly love me?" he sounded genuinely surprised, as if such a thing were impossible. Sighing inwardly – this was his fault and he knew it – he closed the distance between them, tilted his head and pressed their lips together. Although Gaara did not push him away he did not respond either; that was fine. Gently, arms wrapped around a slender frame and hands slid up a strong back. There was a shiver and a small moan was heard from the Kazekage; relishing the sensation of another's touch.

"Yes." He said as he pulled away "I cannot express how sorry I am for how you've felt these past two years…I had been afraid of ruining your reputation and ridicule while you had thought I found you repulsive."

Briefly, the Kazekage shook his head "My reputation…" he met his gaze once more "My reputation will not be tarnished because my lover is male. I am sure there will be people who will protest and possibly be against it, if for little else than the fact that I would be unable to reproduce. Perhaps no one will protest at all; those who still fear me deep down will probably be thankful for the fact that I will never sire any children. Regardless, it does not matter; it never did. At least not to me. I was merely content with the fact that I had found love, even if it was not reciprocated. I –" he was cut off in surprise when he was once more pulled close and soft lips slid over his. His eyes remained wide for a moment before slowly lowering, arms tentatively going around the other male, still a little unsure and even shy. It felt like some sort of crazy dream, for two years he had tried his best to ignore his feelings for the Hyuuga, knowing that the other male had been offended and repulsed by his actions – actions that had been sprung because he had been somewhat sure at the time that Neji had felt the same. Now he knew that Neji had felt the same way but it seemed that perhaps he had acted too soon. Now through tragedy, they had come together. Gaara was not sure if this was healthy or not but he found himself uncaring. For the first time someone was holding him, kissing him, and it felt incredible.

The older male pulled back but not away, keeping the smaller redhead in his arms "Whatever it is you wish for; if it is within my power I will do my best to give that to you."

A contemplative expression emerged "I do not wish to make you uncomfortable or uneasy."

"Unless you decide not to be with me, I am sure I will not have such feelings."

This was too much "Neji, are you sure? This is truly what you wish, for us to be together? I also would be content to be friends. I consider you to be someone precious to me, you do not…" he cut himself off at the look in the other's white eyes. They were…

"I say nothing I do not mean." And that was the last he was going to say on it.

There was silence as the two continued to stare and eventually the redhead closed his eyes, a very soft smile playing on his lips "I am not good with…relationships. Not of this manner."

Arms tightened and he shyly leaned against the other, resting his head on Neji's shoulder. This was what people in relationships did, right? He had seen people embrace and kiss before; he knew about more intimate practices – more than he had ever wanted to know thanks to Kankuro.

"It will be a learning experience for the both of us then." Neji smiled at Gaara's curious glance "This is the closest physically I have been with another person. I am also horrible at relationships. I am very unromantic and Hinata-sama has mentioned more than once that I am quite insensitive."

"Temari also says I am insensitive and unromantic." The two males shared a knowing smile "As for intimacy…" he turned his head "when I informed Kankuro of my feelings for you he…"

Neji's hand rose to stop him and he shoved his fingers through his hair in slight frustration "I am sure I know where you are going with that and you do not need to say anything more. Where he got the information is anyone's guess since he swears he's straight but that's neither here nor there." His smile was warm "Although I do not deserve you, I would be honored if you allowed me to be at your side."

He responded by moving closer, wrapping his arms around the other. He was blushing profusely at this point, the most emotion he had seen on the other's face since he had come to Suna. For me he shows his emotions. The thought humbled him, Gaara was extremely good at hiding what he truly felt inside and yet for him he dropped his guard.

He closed the distance between their lips and never had he felt so at peace.

xxxxx

His breathing was a little harsh and shaky as pale hands slid underneath the fabric of his robes and moved over his skin. A soft moan escaped at the sensation, he also had never had anyone touch him quite like this.

Hands stopped moving and he opened his eyes, face flushed. White eyes took in green "Is something wrong?" Gaara was giving him a blank look but his eyes seemed to hold some uncertainty. Neji had to admit that his thought processes weren't exactly stellar at the moment after having practically made out with the redhead not even five minutes ago on the roof. Who knew that emotions could be so powerful?

Even though he had zero experience with intimacy, and it honestly made him feel a little awkward, he had been unable to resist the urge to suggest they go to the Kazekage's room. It had been impulse on his part, kissing Gaara and having the other man touch him had definitely affected him and the affect – he was quite thankful for the fact that he wore loose clothing – was getting harder now that he was pressed against the wall. He had no idea of what he was doing at this point and he really didn't care.

The redhead continued to scrutinize him for a moment before he began to move his hands again. Closing his eyes, the Hyuuga let out a shaky breath before opening them again, silver depths hooded. Realizing that Neji's noises weren't of pain he continued to explore hardened muscle. Fingertips brushed along scars that he had earned from weeks of torture and he shivered, resisting the urge to just pull the smaller man against him.

"I love your touch." He breathed and tried to pull the other closer, needing to have him near. He knew that being twenty and a virgin was probably listed as sad in some shinobi hand guide and more than likely the fact that just being touched like this was making him as hard as a rock was also probably sad. He really didn't care; it felt good having those hands move over his heated skin.

His robes slid from his shoulders, revealing a bare chest. Stepping forward jade eyes flickered up to his for only a moment before he bent his head, brushing his lips along a thin white scar. An appreciative grunt left him at first which turned into a low moan when he felt the wet tip of his tongue trail back over where lips had just been. The other's name escaped his lips in a whisper.

"Neji," Even he couldn't mask the huskiness of his tone. "are you sure I am not hurting you?"

Instead of responding he moved forward, grabbing the other male and pulling him in for a hard, demanding kiss. The other practically melted in his arms and a strange sensation came over him, strong and fierce. His hand pressed against Gaara's lower back so he could have an easier time of rocking his hips against the other. This time the low moan that escaped came from the redhead.

"You're not hurting me."

Satisfied with this answer he continued his ministrations; tongue trailing over pale skin, down a thin scar to a hardened nipple. When he felt teeth sink into sensitive flesh he made a throaty noise, thrusting his hips, needing the friction. He shivered when a wet tongue swirled around the sting, his eyelids fluttering as the other hardened bud was rolled between calloused fingers.

"Nngh…Gaara…" it came out a throaty purr as he continued to rock his hips. A loud moan escaped when teeth bit down again. Lips brushed feather light along creamy skin while a hand slipped underneath the fabric of his pants, fingers wrapping around his hardened length. His hips rocked again. "Oh, gods…that feels…ah…faster please…"

The redhead kissed him in response, his hand pumping Neji in a steady rhythm. The other could feel Gaara's hardened length against his thigh but he seemed to be in no hurry, seeming to enjoy the soft gasps and moans. Teeth lightly scraped down his neck and along his collarbone, a thumb brushed over his slit, rubbing pre cum around the engorged head. His response was swallowed by a kiss before the pumping stopped, to his disappointment.

It quickly faded "I…want to taste you." The Kazekage said softly right as the remaining bit of white fell from Neji's body to pool around his ankles "All of you."

It sounded so sinfully seductive even though he knew it was just Gaara being upfront and honest "Yes…" they kissed again and that wonderful hand slid back over his shaft, moving slowly. He kept trying to rock his hips but a free hand pinned him. His breath caught in his throat when the kisses trailed down his chest, abdomen and lower still.

Kneeling before the Hyuuga the redhead leaned forward, a warm tongue darting out to trail along the soft head and then down the shaft very slowly. A hand immediately delved into red tresses as the wet organ became bolder, his mouth joining to lick and suck up and down the side, not quite taking him in. It felt absolutely amazing; the sensation of something other than his hand giving him pleasure. When he felt teeth lightly move along sensitive flesh he let out a sharp cry "More…ah…more, I need…"

Tongue trailed over the slit, lapping up the salty bead that had formed "More?" he asked and Neji got the distinct notion that he was being teased.

"Yes," it came out husky and a little throaty, which turned into a loud moan when warmth enveloped his aching cock and a tongue wrapped around as red hair began to bob up and down "Fuck! Fuck…Gaara…" he was so hard he wasn't even sure if he'd be able to hold it in, he wanted to burst he was filled with so much pleasure "Wait…don't…I don't want to…" another moan "S-stop…"

He did and green eyes looked up at him curiously as he pulled away but Neji was moving, lifting the Kazekage up and guiding him to the bed. As he walked forward and the redhead backward he began removing clothing, inwardly smiling when a heady sigh escaped Gaara as he slid his hands over warm skin. By the time they had reached the bed Neji was already unfastening the redhead's pants and chuckled softly when he realized the man – predictably – didn't wear underwear. He crawled on the bed and dipped down, smiling when he felt the young man shiver at the feel of his tongue moving down his neck.

"I've never done this before so if I do something wrong…" he stopped when he saw Gaara shake his head slightly.

"Your touch…this is enough."

"I want to give you more than that." Neji murmured against his skin and lifted his head, sliding his lips over the redhead's.

Although Gaara knew from his brother – something Neji still had no desire to question – how two men had sex it was not the same as actually doing it. They fumbled around rather clumsily, all thumbs as they tried to figure out what to do without seriously hurting each other.

To Neji's surprise the Kazekage had lube in his drawer, courtesy of Kankuro –Neji seriously began to question Kankuro's claims about not being gay – and that had just been awkward and painful for the younger male. Arms and legs had wrapped around the Hyuuga's body as gasps and pain-filled groans had turned into actual hard moans once the two finally found a rhythm. Neji had found it incredible being inside of someone. A tight heat that a hand had absolutely nothing on. It was even more intense than when Gaara had used his mouth and it had taken nearly all of his self control not to lose it.

And then the redhead was riding him, hips rocking, green eyes hooded and heavy with lust. Mouth slightly agape as he panted and moaned, fingers digging into skin as his lover's name escaped kiss-swollen lips. It didn't take long for sweat to begin to coat their bodies, hard breaths and heavy whispers cutting through the darkness and silence of the Kazekage's room.

The Hyuuga's hands were everywhere and it felt absolutely amazing to Gaara, feeling fingers and warmth trail over his overly sensitive skin. It became too much for him during their first time and with Neji's hands and lips all over him, filling him, he had reached his peak quickly, actually crying out his lover's name as bliss claimed him. His climax had triggered Neji's and the other male crushed him against his body as it shook with pleasure.

They remained like that for a while, holding each other as their bodies calmed and settled. When they finally untangled themselves they crawled into the massive bed and curled up together, the redhead resting on Neji's chest.

"Gaara, are you sure about allowing our relationship to be public knowledge?" he had asked after a long moment of silence; the two simply lying together and enjoying each other's presence.

"I do not see why it would be an issue. I am not ashamed of the fact that I am in love with you. It will not affect my duties as Kazekage. Do not concern yourself with such things, Neji." His arms tightened around his lover "We do not have to go out and make public displays of ourselves but I would not mind being affectionate with you around others. Either way, if you prefer to keep things quiet…"

"No." with a small sigh he shifted and kissed Gaara's forehead "I do not wish to do that at all. If you are not concerned, I will not be concerned. I am content with this. With us."

Sitting up a bit Gaara dipped his head, brushing their lips lightly. Soon he deepened the kiss, letting out a small appreciative noise when arms wrapped around his neck. Before Neji knew it the redhead was all but straddling him, a small smile on his face. Slowly he bent forward, that smile still on his face "Mm. With that said, I do believe that it is my turn to pleasure you." And with that all thoughts and words ceased to exist.