Ignore the terrible title-pun.

Disclaimer: I own only this story itself, the characters are copyrighted to Hidekaz Himaruya.

(Roderich's POV. Human names used.)

Today was a rather nice day. It was warm but comfortably so, there was a gentle breeze now and then, and best of all: Gilbert hasn't come over all day.

Really, it was just past noon, and I haven't so much as suspected his presence. It was delightful.

Feeling quite cheerful, I strolled over to my beloved music room for my daily hour or so of musical indulgement. Today, I felt playing Traumerei by Robert Schumann. Light and upbeat, yet soft and dreamy.

Wait - dreamy? That's it, that's why I haven't seen Gilbert all day.

This was a dream.

Yes, a dream. I'm dreaming. Blissfully dreaming. I'm actually laying in my bed, still in my nightwear, tucked under the warm sheets with the moonlight there to watch me.

I halted playing, only for a few seconds. Closing my eyes, I briskly pinched my arm.

Gah, that hurt.

My eyes opened, and I was still sitting on my piano bench with that solid ebony masterpiece before me.

I guess I'm not dreaming, I thought with a soft chuckle.

Right when I had my hands set to continue playing, I heard wood sliding against wood behind me, followed by a soft 'thud'.

My mouth twitched. That better be some idiot robber, and not that frosty-haired-

"Oh, don't mind me, Roddy. Keep playing~"

My muscles tensed. Verdammt.

"You know Gilbert," I start, not bothering to turn around. "I was having such a lovely day-"

"That could only be made better since I came in and graced you with my awesomeness, I know."

That pig-headed little-

"Hmm...what the hell did I come over here for again...?"

I sighed and chose to ignore him. As much as my housemaids would hate to clean up another one of his messes, it's better than paying him any attention. That's what he wants.

As I began to play again, letting my mind slowly wander into melodious seduction, he starts up again.

"Hey, don't go off playing like that! I was talking to you!"

No, you weren't. You were lost in thought. "Didn't you tell me not to mind you and keep playing?"

"A-ah...well..."

Yes, go think up some ridiculous excuse while I continue in my bliss...

"I-it's rude to..not listen...when people talk to you! Yeah!"

"Since when do you care about manners?"

"I was talking about you! Your manners!"

"Practice what you preach!"

I could hear the scowl on his face as he continued ranting on about god knows what.

Feeling a migraine preparing it's attack, I stopped playing and stood up.

"And then sometimes you- R-Roddy?"

I exited the room in search of that bottle of aspirin I had somewhere. Though there is the possibility I used it all up, I tried to focus on the positives, if any, from this situation.

As I stormed about my house, pretending I knew where I was going, I could hear his heavy boots thundering away behind me. Why must he always follow me?

After feeling like I searched every possible place that damn bottle could be, I was on the brink of giving up.

"...whatcha looking for...? Roddy?"

Go away, I'm looking for some kind of annoying-Prussian repellent.

"Headache?"

...how the hell does he know? Seriously.

"I...yes. I have a really bad headache. And it's all your fa-"

"I got a solution. One that doesn't require drugs."

"I'm not going out to get 'wasted' with you."

He laughs. "Well, unless you want to..." I just stared at him. "No, no, I was kidding. Anyways, do you want to hear it or not?"

I considered this. Would he, the creator of all headaches, migraines, and any other bodily pain, know of a cure? "I suppose hearing your idea won't hurt." Much.

"Well, I was thinking we could go take a trip to the beach. Just the two of us."

My body froze up, worse than it had when he showed up earlier.

"Th-The...beach?"

He pulled a stupid cocky smile. "Yeah, you know...sand, ocean, stuff like that?"

"I know what a beach is!" Oh yes, I knew fully well.

"Just checking."

Does Gilbert know why I don't like the beach? Oh, I get it now. This is another one of his sick forms of torture for me. That's why he's here.

I quickly turned down his helpful offer.

"Why not? I thought it'd be nice. We could get to know each other better, have some fun while we're at it..."

Can't we do something like that at another location? One that doesn't involve the dreadful sea? I expressed this point to him.

"Well, we could. But that's boring! Plus, Roddy, aren't you just dying to see my sexy half-naked body?"

That self-righteous idiot. "No, no I'm not."

"You totally are. I can see it in your eyes."

He stepped towards me with a smug grin, and I quickly backed away. "D-Do you know what kind of...beasts...dwell in that god-forsaken place?"

"What...your eyes?"

I glared at him as threateningly as I could manage. "No! The beach!"

"Aww~ Roddy's scared~ Don't worry, my princess, your awesome knight is here to protect you."

"...you're creepy. And I'm not a princess!"

He continued smiling. Just smiling. It was unbelievably annoying. "Alright, agree to go to the beach with me, and I promise you won't get attacked by crabs or starfish or whatever the fuck you're terrified of."

Hmm, tempting. "But who'll protect me from you? I don't suppose you will..."

"I hold no guarantees."

Asshole. This is just like him to do that.

"...fine. If I can survive multiple battles against you, I guess one trip to the beach won't hurt."

"Awesome! Go get ready! I already got my swimsuit on under my clothes!"

And that's it for chapter 1. So far I only have this set for two chapters, but it can change at any time.

This is my first fanfic, so I'd really appreciate any feedback! Thanks in advance~!