AN: I've had this sitting in my documents for a while and decided to publish it. I realize Dick Wolf's decision to officially cancel L&O was announced a while ago, (damn him) but I'm still mad. Law & Order: Los Angeles is going to tank. Great job, NBC.
The 27th precinct was in shambles when Lupo and Bernard showed up for work. Everyone was emptying out desks, throwing files into the trash, or making frantic phone calls. Papers were scattered all over the floor. A potted plant had been tipped over.
They shared worried glances. It was a little past seven. It was a Wednesday morning. It was a work day. They entered Van Buren's office. She was standing at her desk, packing her things into a cardboard box. "Lieu, what's going on?" Lupo asked.
"We've been canceled."
"What are you talking about? Canceled what?"
The phone rang. Van Buren picked up and slammed it back down. "Your job is here is done," she said, "the precinct is closing." She bustled past him, over to the window, where she snapped the blinds shut.
"But I thought – "
"You thought wrong."
"What's going on?" They followed her over to the window.
"Look, I don't think the precinct is the only one shutting down. The DA's office is too."
"The DA's office? You gotta tell us what's going on, Lieu."
"No time," Van Buren said, brushing past him and out the door.
They chased after her. "What's gonna happen to the precinct?"
"Special Victims Unit might take over," she said.
"SVU? But they're not as awesome as us," Bernard protested.
"I'm going down to the DA's office to see if they're having the same problem," Van Buren said over her shoulder. "You guys coming with me?"
Someone inside knocked a file cabinet over. It was time to get out of here.
Unlike the 2-7, the DA's office was dead-silent. Mike and Connie arrived for work, only to discover the building had been completely abandoned. The furniture had been moved out. Every room was empty. A lone cricket chirped in the distance. "What the hell is going on?" Mike asked out loud.
They walked down the hall and into Mike's office. Connie turned on the lights, which flickered on and off, as if they were in a horror movie. The leather couch had been dragged into the center of the room. Jack was sprawled across it, drink in hand. "It's all gone," he announced, sitting up when they came in. "Our legacy has ended."
"What's going on, Jack? What happened here?" Connie paced around the room, staring at the emptiness.
"Who took my baseball mitt? And my stair model!" Mike exclaimed.
Jack sighed. "We've been – "
Lupo, Bernard, and Van Buren burst into the room. "– Canceled! We've been canceled!"
"This doesn't make any sense. Where did everybody go?" Mike asked.
"Who knows," Jack said, waving his drink at them. "It's all over the Internet. There's not even a shred of hope this time. We've been buried alive."
Everyone was silent as they took in this new information. "What do we do?" Bernard finally asked.
"I say we get to the bottom of this," Connie said. She opened her briefcase and pulled out a laptop, turning it on. She typed on the keyboard and turned the laptop around. Everyone huddled around the screen.
"Wow," Lupo muttered with disbelief.
"I say we kidnap Dick Wolf and make him put the show back on," Mike suggested.
"He created us. He has to save us," Connie agreed.
"We can't do anything," Bernard protested. "We don't even have jobs anymore."
"Why does SVU have better ratings?" Connie asked, scanning the computer screen.
"Because there are a lot of dramatic gunfights and the detectives are traumatized and go through emotional problems," Van Buren said.
"I guess we don't have any of that," Mike mumbled grudgingly.
"Don't forget about Elliot and Olivia," Van Buren said. "They have a lot of fans."
"What about them?" Bernard asked.
"The sexual tension between them is ridiculous," Van Buren explained.
"Mike and Connie have sexual tension too!" Jack suggested.
"Not ridiculous enough," Van Buren replied.
"How do you know about all this stuff, Lieu?" Lupo asked, wide-eyed.
Silence. "I catch an episode every once in a while," she muttered.
"Los Angeles doesn't even compare to New York," Mike remarked as he kept reading. "This doesn't make sense."
"But it does," Jack said. "We had low ratings and our budget was too high. We weren't worth saving."
"They canceled us because of that?" Bernard frowned.
"Of course our budget is high. We're awesome," Lupo said.
"I was going to be pregnant next season," Connie read. "That's kind of cool."
"That's not gonna happen now," Van Buren said. "Such a shame. I wonder who was the father?"
Everyone was quiet as they contemplated this. "I guess we'll never know," Mike said.
"Are we at least going to have a two-hour season finale?" Bernard asked with a hopeful look on his face.
"It doesn't say. I don't think so," Connie said.
"I really do think we should kidnap Dick Wolf," Mike said. "We've got nothing to lose."
"It's too late. That other Los Angeles show took up our timeslot," Van Buren replied. "Other networks won't take us either."
They all sighed, feeling very much like unwanted dogs at the pound.
"What happens now?" Jack asked.