All It Takes is Stupidity

by

Quill-and-Parchment

The doorbell to the Minamoto's residence rang, causing Kouji to look up from his mountain of calculus homework, relieved for the distraction. He'd ditched school for a day to run to Kouichi's when his brother had called him and told him that their biological mother had fallen down a flight of stairs and was in the hospital. He remembered far too well how the exact same sort of accident had nearly taken his twin's life just six months ago, and it had almost driven him mad with fear and concern.

It turned out their mom just had a broken ankle, and Kouji had had to sit down for several minutes after that before returning home, calling their father to explain what had happened. If he'd felt any displeasure at having his son running about worrying about his ex-wife like that, Kouji's father said nothing.

The same reason had been presented to Miss Hanabata.

She gave him extra homework.

Kouji was currently planning on how to sneak the sewer rat he caught into the calculus demon's purse.

"Coming!" the younger of the twins shouted as he ran to get the door. It couldn't be his parents, Kouji thought, mentally crossing out who could be at the door. It couldn't have been Kouichi either, because if it was his twin, the other would've called first. The same went for his friends. They always called first before dropping by, because although Kouji was no longer the "lone-wolf" (at least to them), he wasn't one for pointless, idle chitchatting either.

So there was only one person who would come without calling or any sort of forewarning…

Kouji pulled open the door and sighed inwardly. Of course. Who else was he expecting? But then he frowned as he saw the red area on his visitor's cheek. Oh, gods. What is it now?

Before Kouji could open his mouth and ask, however, Takuya growled out in a very disgruntled voice, "Yeah, credits to Izumi for this." He didn't wait for Kouji's invitation, instead pushing the door and slipping in, kicking off his shoes.

"Izumi?" Kouji repeated, an image of the cheerful Italian girl coming to mind. He shut the door, bolted the lock and turned to raised a questioning eyebrow at Takuya. The goggle-head nodded sullenly. "What did you do to her?"

"I didn't do anything!" Takuya exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "That's the point! I was totally innocent! I just gave her one of my opinions – which she asked for, might I add – and then she suddenly slapped me before running off like there's no tomorrow, calling me the densest turtle she'd ever seen in the world!" He paused, sniffing the air. "Is that dim-sum?"

Kouji rolled his eyes. "Yes, that's dim-sum." He might as well have been talking to thin air; Takuya was already barging into his kitchen unabashedly, leaving the latter to wonder if he should be banging his head against the wall next to him or not. Takuya's nature drove him to the point of insanity three out of four days.

Sometimes Kouji didn't know which deity out there had allowed him to keep this little shred of sanity left. Probably the Digimons. He should see if he could send cakes to the Celestial Digimons as thank-you gifts or not…

"Oi, Kouji! Where're your parents?" Takuya yelled from the kitchen, his voice strangely muffled. A vein in Kouji's forehead throbbed.

"Don't touch the dishes on the table!" the dark-haired boy shouted. "They're mine!"

Ten minutes later, both of them were sitting in Kouji's living room, the house owner glaring at Takuya who was happily chucking two-third of his friend's dinner into his mouth and swallowed it all with one gulp of water. Briefly, Kouji wondered with amazement how big Takuya's throat must have been before he was drawn back to the matter at hands.

"So you said Izumi slapped you?" Kouji prodded, uncrossing his arms as he let his curiosity take over his irritation. "What did you say this time?"

"Well, she called yesterday," Takuya began, sipping his water. "She said she wanted to meet me at the Shibuya Tower, that I should come immediately. She sounded really urgent, so I got there right away. Actually ran all the way to the top, you know." To demonstrate his point, he rubbed his feet. "There I found her standing and watching the stars, for the love of Digimons! She only smiled when I asked her what was wrong and asked me – friggin' ask me – if I thought she was beautiful or not!"

Kouji suddenly had an idea where this was going. Nonetheless, he fought the urge to wince and asked instead, "What did you tell her?"

Takuya huffed, falling back until he was lying flat on his back on the floor, pillowing his head with his arms. "I asked her if she was crazy, calling me to ask me if she was beautiful or not, and…yeah, that led to here and now," he huffed indignantly, righteous fury burning in his brown eyes. "I mean, what kind of idiot was she, doing something like that?"

Next to him, the other boy closed his eyes. Ah, so that was how it was. But maybe there was still something to save? "What next?" he asked. At the confused look Takuya gave him, Kouji elaborated, "What happened after she slapped you?" For your stupidity, he added mentally, but said nothing aloud.

His friend shrugged. "She ran to the elevator and disappeared. What did I do wrong to deserve that anyway? I ran all the way across town thinking she might be in danger, and then Izumi gave me a stinging cheek as a souvenir, by the gods! What's up with that girl?"

Kouji pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. "Okay, Takuya, I know you are not the brightest or even the most perceptive guy ever, but even this is too much for you," the dark-haired boy muttered. He could feel Takuya's eyes boring holes into his face right about now.

"Oh, not you too!" Takuya exclaimed, sitting up straight. "Just what exactly did I do wrong?"

They'd, fortunately, known each other long enough to be able to tell almost exactly what the other was thinking. "Don't," Kouji shook his head, opening his eyes to look at the brunette. "Izumi would never answer you if you asked, and she wouldn't even tell you if you don't ask. Now why don't you calm down and think back on the events for a minute? Don't be angry, just think," he said shortly when Takuya opened his mouth to protest.

Above them, the clock went tick-tock, tick-tock. All was silence as Takuya embarked on his quest to solve this mystery in his mind. Eventually, understanding dawned on Takuya's face, and Kouji sat back, relieved. He didn't have to spell out everything for his friend, after all.

"So she's going on a date!" Takuya shouted, making a fist with one hand and slamming it to his other palm. "She needed my opinion on her clothes! He's about to come to the tower and it's too late for her to leave for my house, so she called me there!" He frowned. "But that doesn't justify what she made me go through to get there, though…And she did walk out after I told her what I thought…"

Kouji stared at him.

And stared.

And stared some more.

Takuya started shifting uneasily. "Um, is something wrong?" he asked tentatively.

Seconds passed. Then Kouji sighed and let his head tilt back, watching the ceiling as he tried not to weep for his friend's clueless attitude. At length, he straightened again and looked at the boy before him for another few seconds before saying very slowly, like he was speaking to somebody who was mentally retarded.

"Takuya, she was asking you if you like her or not. Get it?"

Takuya blinked at him. "But that doesn't make sense," the goggle-head said, raising an eyebrow. "If she would want that, wouldn't she ask me out on a date or something or even slip a note to me? Why would she make me run up a tower and find her?"

It was the first time Kouji Minamoto actually screamed in frustration.

Amazing, really, what friends could do to each other…

So Takumi was canon - I didn't know that. Although I do not like romance, I think a friendship spin-off could be made out of it. Takuya needs more experience on girls, obviously...

Reviews appreciated,
~Quill